Tribulation
by untilmynextstory
Summary: After serving five years, Jax returns home to his family. He soon learns that despite weekly visits, five years was a long time and his family has grown without him. AU
1. Sentenced

**I couldn't help myself. I really wanted to post a new story for you guys so here it is. Now this story is a WIP. So that means updates aren't on a set schedule. My goal is to post at least every other week or once I write a chapter, I'll post a new chapter as half of this story is written.**

 **So I hope you guys enjoy this!**

 **And also check out my tumblr under this same penname for updates on ALL stories of mine.**

* * *

 **In** all the years Jax has known Noelle and has become familiar with her anger and cold fronts, this is something he isn't used to.

He is scared if he breathes wrong that she might kill him or break down in hysterics. He thinks both are likely to happen by the end of the night. She hasn't looked at him once since she picked him up on his bail. She didn't offer him a hug or any type of greeting. All she did was wrap her arms around her small exhausted frame in her oversized cardigan. He thinks considering he was inside for two weeks for his hearing and the nature of his case, she had a lot of time to come to terms what this meant for her and their family.

And he knows the mature and smart thing to do would be to talk about what this means for them, but right now he just wants his wife. He wants to hold her and for the night to fuck away all his troubles. Yet, he knows that will be highly unlikely giving how tight she is gripping the steering wheel and the way her lips are pursed into a thin line.

God, she didn't even hug him as he was escorted out. Even when she was pissed at him she would hug him while slapping or punching the shit out of his chest. Now, she only looked at him while she held the paper that contained the terms and conditions of what it meant to be on bail. His stomach drops as he hasn't even been sentenced yet and if she is acting like this now, he imagines it is going to be worse when he actually begins his sentence. Rosen had already informed him that he would be doing some years. _Years._

He thinks the 20 minute ride felt like an hour before Noelle is pulling into the driveway of their family home. Their recently purchased home for their expanding family. Everything seemed to be going good in his life and now this happened.

They wordlessly exit the Escalade and enter the house through the front door and he is instantly bombarded by his mother. Unlike Noelle, she clings to him and hugs him tightly.

"You okay?" She asks and he realizes Noelle has moved into the kitchen, but she is watching the scene with unseeing eyes.

He nods his head at his mother. "Just happy to be home." He tells with a grim smile.

"The kids miss you," she tells him and it does little to warm the cold from his wife. "I'm surprised I was able to get them to sleep."

Jax smiles at the thought of his kids. While he sat in county, he didn't know how he was going to do the time now. Before it was easy when it was just him or when it was only for a short stint, but with this charge he would be gone for a while. Years, he repeats in his head. He wonders how in the hell he was going to explain to a six and four year old that he would be gone for years.

Yet, his mom seems to feel the tension between him and Noelle as she doesn't linger and presses a kiss on his cheek and leaves the house.

Five years of being married, Jax knows he needs to tread carefully with Noelle. Because now he thinks that she isn't sad for him about to be locked up, but pissed. He is going to be leaving her alone with three kids all under the age of five and one of them just cleared of having a clean bill of health from the family flaw. He runs his hands down his face as he throws his hoodie and kutte onto the coat rack.

She's sitting at the kitchen table when he enters. He can tell she is exhausted as he looks at her face. There are bags under her eyes. She looks so small in her thin cami and oversized cardigan. He hates that he hasn't realized how much stress she has been under since the birth of their youngest child. Now he is just piling on the stress and he hates that he only sees it now how bone tired his wife is.

He takes a seat across from her and she can't even look him in the eyes. Her gaze is firmly set on the wooden table.

"I'm going to have to do 5 years." He hears Noelle's sharp intake of breath. "It is the best I can get for my first offence with a weapon. I have a chance to get off early for good behavior."

Her fingers come to her forehead and he watches as she rubs the space between her brows. It's a mannerism he has seen an awful lot in the past few months. He has seen it a lot as the doctors described what surgery their son would need now and maybe the future. He has seen it when their two oldest would get to rowdy for her to handle after she had already spent the night at St. Thomas in the hospital chair.

He hates that he can feel a distance between them. Even with the rushed nature of their relationship, they were strong together. They had a relationship built on communication. Yet, now he doesn't know exactly when she began pulling away from him.

She finally looks at him with exhausted blue eyes. Hers were more of a ocean blue unlike his cold steel ones. He was glad their oldest got her eyes. They were a much warmer version of his blue that he felt showcased his hard life he didn't want to burden his family with.

"Are you going to be serving it at Stockton?" She asks him quietly.

His stomach drops as he shakes his head. "Most likely Chino."

"Jesus Christ," she mutters.

"Rosen is trying to make an appeal considering –"

"It's five years, Jax." She interrupts. "Chino is six hours away."

"I know," he tells her.

"Do you?" She asks her eyes wide and scared. "We have three kids, Jax! AJ is only a baby! And you're telling me you're going to be gone for five years. Six hours away. For what? What the fuck did you do?" She asks hotly.

Jax knows that no one from the club would tell her anything because it wasn't there place. It was his. The two of them had full disclosure to a point. If she didn't ask, he didn't tell. Yet, if he needed to get something off his chest, she always listened. He folds his hands in front of him as if he was in prayer because right now he needed God on his side before his wife began the rapture.

"I got caught, Noe. Doing a deal. You know shits always brewing between us and the Mayans. They turned up at the exchange with the Niners." He tells her. Jax thinks he was lucky for even making it out alive at that meet but he isn't going to burden his wife with that knowledge. He was lucky he was wearing a vest.

"How in the fuck did you let that happen, Jax?" She hisses at him.

And he has nothing to tell his wife. Nothing.

And right now he doesn't want her anger. He wants his wife. He wants her to tell him that everything will be okay. They're family will be okay. That's they'll get through this a day at a time.

And he knows he should take a deep breath and mind his tongue. But he doesn't and he lets the slight anger that is in his gut that is really from not trusting his instinct in the first place with going to that meet and takes it out on his wife.

"Do you think I wanted this to fucking happen, Noe?" He asks her hotly taking her back. "Do you think I want to be locked up for five fucking years for this shit?"

But she doesn't let it faze her. She only folds her arms across her chest and stands in her anger. "You willingly patched into this _shit_ Jax!" She refutes. "How could you not be more careful?"

"You think I'm not?" He retorts. "Everything I fucking do is to make sure I come back home to you and the kids not in a fucking pine box."

Noelle snorts. "Well you could've fooled me as it seems it doesn't stop you from sitting in a prison cell."

"I'm not dealing with this shit." He mutters as he moves up out of his chair. He should go back to the bedroom. Hell, he should go take a shower. Instead he walks out of the kitchen and grabs his kutte and hoodie and his keys.

Noelle doesn't follow after him. Doesn't even beg him to stay. It isn't until he walks out the door that he hears the shattering of glass. He knows he should walk back in. He knows that he shouldn't leave angry at her. As he leans his head against the door, he thinks he can hear her crying at the kitchen table.

He knows he doesn't deserve her or their family. He knows she is only with him because they were young and stupid and to in lust to think of consequences.

Those thoughts make it easier to walk off the doorstep.

* * *

 **Noelle** had cried at the kitchen table until her baby boy woke up due to teething pain. Tending to one of her babies was an easy distraction. After getting her youngest back to a fitful sleep, she decided she should take a shower and even a nap before her other two woke up.

"Mom, I thought dad was going to be home," Addie says to her as she places her cup up on the counter to be washed.

Noelle looks at her middle child. Unlike her brothers with their blonde hair and blues eyes, Addie had brown hair and eyes. She looked like her Aunt Lena and her grandmother, Gemma. But Addie had Jax's smile and attitude.

Noelle scrubs the skillet in her hand harder at the mention of her husband. "He went to go visit grandma and grandpa." She tells her.

"When's he coming home?" Her four year old daughter demands in a perfect imitation of Gemma with the hands on the hips and arch of her brow.

Noelle sighs and is about to tell her daughter to go into the living room with her brothers when the front door opens.

Noelle sucks in her breath as her husband steps into view.

He is clearly hungover as he looks disheveled and hair is frizzy and matted. He staggers on his feet and she is surprised he even manages to catch Addie, who catapults into his arms.

"Daddy! You're home!" She exclaims as she gives her father a tight hug and nearly chokes him to death. "I missed you so much."

Noelle's heart breaks slightly at the sight of father and daughter. She knows Addie will hurt the most from the absence of her father.

"I missed you too, Addie." He tells her.

Soon, Noah, her oldest at 6, comes into view holding, AJ, her six month old baby, and almost runs to Jax, but remembers he is holding his baby brother. Jax beams at the sight of his three kids and Noelle finds herself unable to watch as the kids fawn over him.

She goes back to washing the dishes and ignores the burning gaze from Jax, who she never greets.

After the kids exclaim that he stinks, Jax detangles himself from his children and heads to the shower. Noelle burns with anger at the thought of Jax smelling like weed, alcohol, and possibly of another woman. She finds that it's too easy to get angry at Jax these days.

Knowing that she is eventually going to have to speak to him, she heads back to their bedroom where she hears the shower turn off. She picks up the clothes the litter the floor and she wants to be annoyed that despite 6 years of living together he still can't seem to put his clothes in the hamper. But she can't because soon she won't find herself doing this. She won't find this one mundane slightly irritating habit of Jax to remind her that he is home.

She lifts the clothes to her nose and she finds some relief she can only smell smoke and Jax lingering on them. She is throwing them in the hamper when he enters the bedroom.

"Sorry," he says sheepishly to her as he sees her.

"It's okay," she tells him as she closes the lid to the basket.

She knows she should apologize for last night, but she can't seem to find it in her too. Jax doesn't seem to be waiting on an apology either as he walks over to the dresser to get dressed. She watches him and begins to memorize his features knowing that in five years her husband will be a different man than the one standing before her. She memorizes how his muscles flexes with each movement and the dips in his muscular back with the large SAMCRO tattoo that decorates it. She smiles as she sees Addie's full name on his left forearm and Noah's name written over his heart. AJ's full name along with his footprint rests under Noah's along Jax's ribs. Her eyes trail his toned ass and the peak of one of his most prized possessions under a tuff of downy blonde hair. Yet, her eyes narrow at raspberry splotches on his thighs and her heart drops.

He is oblivious and her eyes go haywire and she wishes it is her overactive imagination, but her eyes trail back up to the tattoo that had surprised her when he got it. On the left side of his neck, her name is written in script placed next to an outline of her lips in ruby red and she finds a mark that does not belong there.

"Are you fucking kidding me," she whispers to herself, but Jax's hears her and freezes.

She refuses to cry today and especially over this.

"Noe –"

"You fucking bastard!" She seethes.

"Its not –"

"It's not!" She repeats hysterically not letting him finish knowing what words will follow. She approaches him and throws his towel out of the way and she grabs his thigh and looks at the marks that cover it. He grabs her wrists and she immediately removes herself from his hold. And creates some distance between them if looks could kill he would be dead.

He is at least smart enough to slide on his boxer briefs.

"I didn't, Noe."

"What the fuck do you call that?" She hisses.

"A very eager croweater that couldn't take no." He tells her dryly.

"And was that before or after she sucked your dick and you realized she left evidence." Noelle objects.

"I didn't do anything last night," he says defending himself. "I swear, Noe, I didn't."

"So what you just let a croweater do that to you for what?" She demands to know.

Jax clenches his jaw at her and runs his hands through his hair in frustration. "I did it because I knew you would be angry. After last night…I needed my wife and you weren't there."

He's caught by surprise when she throws the picture frame at him and then whatever else she can grab in her frustration.

"You stupid piece of shit," she screams at him.

"Noe!" He shouts over dodging various items that manage to hit him. Outside of a few punches and slaps on his chest for doing stupid shit, the two of them were never violent with each other. Now Noelle is showing a whole different side to herself. "I told you I didn't do anything." He yells at her.

"And I should fucking believe you." She asks on the brink of hysterics. She almost hates herself for being this wife. The one wife who always wonders what her husband is doing at odd hours of the night, and refuses to see the truths that are all but slapping her in the face, she has turned into that hysterical wife.

"Why would I lie about this?" He seethes after he dodges another item thrown and lunges at her grabbing her wrist again to stop her throwing things at him. She realizes she nick him in the cheek, which bleeds slowly.

"Because you're a fucking lying deceiving bastard." She hisses in his face. She knows she is hitting a nerve from the way his nostrils flare and he is clenching his jaw. "It probably wouldn't be the first lie you told me when you come home late while I'm raising your kids."

Jax lets her go and shakes his head. It was a familiar argument between them. One where certain insecurities with Jax would rear it's ugly head. Then she would let herself believe Jax's words to mollify her. Now with this staring her right in the face it wouldn't work.

He runs his hands through his wet hair. "I haven't been with anyone since I've married you." He tells her and now he just sounds exhausted. Maybe even a little bit sad.

Noelle shakes her head. She refuses to let herself believe his words. She knows that his lips are capable of the most beautiful lies. And she is too far gone in her anger to listen to reasons or explanations. "Married, right? What about before?"

He doesn't answer her and only looks at her sadly.

She sneers at him in disgust and goes to leave the room.

"Noe –" Jax starts and reaches for her again, but this time she reels back and slaps him hard across the face.

It leaves a red mark across his cheek as he clenches his jaw. She finds a sick satisfaction from it.

However any anger dissipates as she hears gasps of shock and she finds her children staring at them from the door.


	2. Homecoming

**I'm glad you guys all seem to be enjoying the story so far! If all the messages on my tumblr are indication you guys are really intrigued. Well there is a timejump in this chapter and alot of lemons! I took a risk and wrote not only one, but two of them. I'm unsure of how they came across as I don't find writing smut my strong suit. So please let me know if you think I can do anything to improve them like write more thoughts or action? I tried to do both so the scenes didn't seem rushed or like how in the heck did they get in this position lol. But anyhoo, please let me know if you like this chapter.**

 **And please, please, please leave a review!**

 **until then.**

* * *

 _5 years later_

 **Jax** soaks up the sun as he walks out of Stockton State Prison a free man. He is no longer a visitor of the State. He is fucking free. He opens his arms like he is the second coming as he smiles brightly ignoring the jibs from his brother before he embraces his best friend Opie in a tight hard hug.

These five years were hard and long.

There were days he was ready to crawl out of his fucking skin or murder his entire cell block. But he remembered who importantly were waiting for him back home. So he kept his head down and got through the day by burying his head in a book or taking refuge in writing. Either it by pouring his soul out to his wife or those deepest thoughts in his small pocketbook journal he was to scared to share with his other half.

But he got through it. He also knows that he wasn't too keen on being a repeat offender. Five years was way to fucking long especially when he had his family at home.

"Whoa, bro, save all this for Noelle," Opie teases as they pull away from each other.

Jax smiles even brighter at the mention of his wife.

"I'm glad to be fucking out!" Jax exclaims and even more to see his family and not be restricted by prison rules.

Jax wasn't blind to how despite the weekly visitation how Noelle had grown without him. He thought Noelle was fucking hot when he was young. Now she was fucking beautiful with her long blonde hair and signature red lips that was the envy of most women in Charming. And he reveled in the fact that she carried his name and she had carried his children.

 _His children_.

His children that had grown used to a five year absence and he plans to make up for that. Rectify it.

Opie hands him his kutte and Jax shrugs it on over his shoulders.

He's ready to go home.

* * *

 **Noelle** is standing outside in a simple summer dress and strappy heels trying not to burn a whole in the ground. After five years of 10 second hugs max and only holding hands, her husband is finally coming home to his family – to her. Despite the elation she feels, she's nervous.

Five years was a long time without him. Even with weekly visits that were manageable once he was approved for a transfer to Stockton, she knows his transition back home won't be easy. Things have changed in their family. The kids are older. She's older and she's changed from that angry 25 year old wife he had left to raise their babies.

"Walking in a circle isn't going to make Dad come home any faster." She hears from behind her.

Noelle turns her attention to her middle child. Of course her head is buried in a book.

Noelle sighs as she walks over to her daughter and runs her hands through her short curly pixie cut. She fights a smile as it clearly irritates Addie as it messes up her curls she had styled to perfection. "You could at least show some happiness for your dad coming home."

"For how long?" Addie counters as she turns a page in her book.

Noelle bites her bottom lip as this pessimistic attitude her daughter holds for her father has been becoming more known in the past six months. Noelle isn't sure what exactly happened, but Addie had started pulling back from Jax and even her in some ways.

And Noelle didn't want to coddle her daughter and she felt her daughter was entitled to some of her anger. Noelle had that same anger. She was just worried her little girl might actually hate her father. And today was his coming home party and she could at least smile and let him get settled in before they dealt with the emotional ramifications his absence had on all of them.

Noelle opens her mouth, but Noah and AJ come rushing over.

"He's here!" AJ shouts with flushed cheeks as he jumps up and down. His blue eyes shine brightly with excitement. Noelle can hear the procession of bikes as they draw closer to the lot.

She looks at her daughter pleadingly, who reluctantly puts down her book on the wooden table.

Noelle stands with her kids at her side as Clay pulls into the lot first with Jax finally for the first time in five years behind him.

AJ doesn't even give his father a chance to get off his bike before he runs over and jumps on his dad in his waiting arms. At five years old, their youngest son idolizes his father. AJ always looked forward to their visits to Jax and the guys and Gemma were quick to indulge him in any story about Jax. She thinks it was to be expected as Jax was almost a mythical figure to the little boy. So every time they did visit Jax it seemed unreal that he was real as Jax was almost a figment of his imagination. But it was hard to deny that Jax wasn't real as AJ is Jax's carbon copy from the shade of blonde hair and blue eyes. He gives his father a big wet sloppy kiss on the cheek and she can't fight the wide smile that takes over her features.

Noah, their oldest at 11 years old, greets Jax next with a tight hug. She finds it hard to believe that it has been eleven years since she gave birth to him. 11 years since she started a family with Jax. Jax will tell everybody that Noah looks like her from their blue eyes and shade of blonde hair. She knows Noah missed his father. Unlike his sister, he never went through an angry phase. He just accepted it.

Noelle doesn't realize she hasn't move, she or Addie, until Jax looks their way. Her boys stand together all blond hair and blue eyed smiles. She looks down at Addie, who is stuck by her hip. She remembers that this never used to be Addie. Addie was a daddy's girl through and through. Usually it would be Jax's hip that she would be glued too.

Noelle squeezes her daughter's shoulder and nudges her slightly as Jax approaches them. Addie moves slightly as Jax wraps her in a tight hug. It's awkward and soon Addie pushes herself out of his hold and can't look her father in his eyes. She knows Addie hurts the most out of all the kids. Jax gives her a small smile that Addie struggles to return, but at least she gave him one.

Noelle then finds his steel blue gaze on her.

His attention is fully on her.

And she goes to say hi, but a tattooed muscular arm wraps around her waist and she finds a burning, consuming kiss pressed to her lips.

Five years she was denied of this – him. And he has changed. His sinewy physique is replaced with muscle probably about 10 to 15 pounds. His once long blonde hair shaved to a buzz and she finds that she doesn't mind it as much as she thought she would. His blue eyes were a little bit colder, but they always would get warmer when he looked at her.

But this was still the same, this feeling of him encompassing her. The way his lips easily molded with hers and how with the lightest touch he could make her toes curl as he stole her breath.

She feels his hands trail down and land on her ass cheeks before he squeezes them. She separates their lips among the sea of claps, catcalls and whistles and gives him a scowl, which makes him chuckle, before he places a softer – gentle – kiss to her lips.

Noelle fights back the tears as she wraps her arms around his neck and buries her face in his neck and presses a kiss to his throat.

 _God, she missed him._

* * *

 **After** the initial greetings and claps on the back from friends and family, Jax finds himself inside the clubhouse surrounded by his kids. AJ is sitting on his lap, despite being a big boy, and is talking a mile a minute. Jax is having a hard time in keeping up as his youngest goes on to explain everything that is happening in his world in the last two weeks since they have seen each other. Noah occasionally adds his two cents and Jax finds his oldest really talks after his mother with their quiet nature.

Addie is buried in a book and hadn't uttered a word to him since he arrived on the lot.

Jax tries his best not to linger on the hurt from her dismissal of him. But he remembers his little girl that would never let him out of her sight as she would wrap herself tightly around him refusing to let him go. He still remembers the day when she realized that he wasn't coming home with them. He had only been inside two weeks when his little girl seemed to realize this. He remembers her angry brown eyes as she kicked and screamed at him and he had to watch helplessly as Noelle tried to calm her down and it only got worse as Addie's screams triggered AJ's. He remembers the hurt in her eyes that he would do that to her.

Now, his daughter might as well be a stranger to him. And knowing that Noelle holds a cold fire when she's angry, their little girl possesses the same.

Jax pulls AJ closer to him as he presses a kiss to his soft downy head. He still smells like his Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo. As the sun dips closer to the horizon, the family orientated coming home party is winding down and soon the real party for the adults will kick off. As he eyes the bar and tables, he realizes his wife is nowhere to be scene in the main room.

Considering he is the Vice President, Jax was practically being passed around like a newborn baby as he greeted brothers from various visiting charters. Of course, Noelle and one of the kids were there by his side, but soon Noelle left to handle the hospitality part of the party along with his mom and his kids went to bug their grandparents or other members.

Outside of their one kiss and hug since he arrived, Jax hasn't been able to even hold a conversation with his wife.

Thankfully, Kenny and Ellie come over and sweep their cousins into a game outside, and Jax uses this opportunity to search for his wife.

Five years away and considering the short little dress she is wearing along with those heels, Jax is pretty sure he can convince his wife for a quickie.

He tracks down his mom cleaning, who informs him that Noelle is probably doing the same thing, back in the dorm rooms.

He finds her rather quickly in his former dorm room from his Prospect year. The door is wide open and Noelle doesn't seem to hear him as she holds a large garbage bag and dumps the trash in it.

He leans against the doorframe and admires his wife of 10 years. Noelle was always a beautiful woman as long as he known her with her long, wavy blonde hair and her signature red lips. But now a woman and mother, she is something else entirely. Her luscious curves are on display in blue and orange floral print chiffon summer dress with spaghetti straps. He licks his lips at the sight of her creamy thighs and her legs that seemed elongated by her strappy heels.

As she bends over and is dangerously close to exposing her ass, Jax creeps up from behind her and he can't help himself as he presses himself against her as he grips her hips.

She releases a startled yelp and he is pretty sure she was going too stomped on his toes, slap him, or elbow him, which makes him proud and slightly worried considering her reaction, until she realized it was him.

"What are you doing?" She asks him as her hands go to his arms around her waist and runs her fingers over his tattoos.

He presses a kiss to her cheek as he balances his chin on her shoulder. "I miss you." He tells her simply and she relaxes even more in his hold. The two of them stand in silence as they get familiar of this. Get use to the fact a guard won't yell at them to separate. For five years he couldn't even hold his wife like this just for comfort. He doesn't know how he even survived without her touch. Hell, he barely did.

She leans into him more before she releases a laugh. "I think someone else misses me." She comments as she pushes back into him.

Jax's arms tighten around her before he turns her around and catches her mouth in a filthy kiss.

Jax groans as he finds some relief that he still knows how to do this. Also that despite five years apart this is still so familiar. Comfort floods him as she still tastes like peppermint from the gums and mints she always keeps on her. Or how when he sucks on her bottom lip, she will press herself closer into him like now, as he can tell she isn't wearing a bra with this dress. He feels his jeans tighten at this realization.

He pushes her back until they bump into the desk and he easily hauls her up onto it. His mouth trails along her neck and his hands bunch up the skirt of her dress and he can see the lacy thin material they call underwear is white lace with a tiny black bow anchored in the middle.

Despite all the elaborate lingerie Noelle has surprised him with over the years; it was always the simple ones that got him hard the most.

Her hands slide down his muscular back and cause him to shudder at the feeling of her hands on him. She grasps for his belt bringing his hips flush against hers. He groans into her skin as she undoes his belt.

Noelle presses kisses to his face as she pushes his pants and boxers down and wraps a dainty hand around him. She teases him with slow measured strokes and even though he is in goddamn ecstasy, he doesn't want to blow his load like a horny teenager.

He tugs the top of her dress enough until one breast is bare along with his crow that decorates her skin across her sternum and covers the underside of each breast and when he pinches her nipple she surges into him. He knows his wife deserves more than a quick fuck right now, but he also knows that he won't survive another fucking minute without reacquainting himself with the feel of her wet tight heat around him.

In a flash, her underwear is torn down and he thrusts into her with one deep stroke.

Jax bites his lip as it takes every bit of his concentration not to cum right then and there as he is encased in her tight heat. His fingers tighten on her thighs with how fucking tight she is and how incredible it feels that he doesn't have to use his goddamn hand or memories anymore.

She pushes her fingers through his fine cropped hair as his fingers tighten even more on her thighs and he slightly is worried about leaving bruises. Digging into her thighs, he angles her hips allowing him to hit that one sweet spot that he knows make her toes curl. She knots her fingers in his hair breathing his name as he pounds into her.

He knows he isn't going to last when she begins to talk, murmuring how wet she is for him, how good it feels for him to finally be home and fucking her.

He begins to lose his rhythm at her words and starts to thrust wildly into her when she clenches around him. It doesn't take him too long after to follow her.

"Welcome home," she says as she squeezes his hips with her knees as she peppers his skin with sweet kisses.

Jax lifts his head up and captures her lips in slow kiss. "I love you." He tells her.

"I love you too."

"Mom!"

Both parents jump at the sound of her their daughter's voice coming down the hall. Jax helps her off the desk before she rushes into the bathroom to clean up. He cleans himself up and has just fixed his belt when Addie pops into the room.

Addie eyes him down with narrowed eyes and Jax swears he is looking at his mother before his daughter folds her arms across her chest. "Where's Mom?"

"She's in the bathroom." Jax tells her. "Something wrong?"

"Uncle Tig is doing weird things." Addie says as the bathroom door opens.

"Ready to go?" Noelle asks Addie, who nods her head in reply.

"I'll see you later?" Noelle asks him. Jax hides his smile as it's obvious him and Noelle were doing something with her flushed skin and red lips.

"I can come home."

Noelle smiles at him, but shakes her head. "Have fun with the guys, Jax. We'll be home when you get there."

Jax doesn't really want to stay. He would prefer to go home and work on round number 2 with Noelle, but he knows that it is better to get all the social requirements of him done now so he is free to live in his bed for the next couple days.

"Alright, I guess." He concedes.

"You know most men would be thrilled with being able to stay out late in this company." Noelle says teasingly.

"Well I'm not most men," Jax tells her with a smirk.

Noelle rolls her eyes and goes to meet Addie at the door, who is looking at them bored, but relieved at the prospect of leaving. Before they leave the room, Addie does a second take at him and purses her lips, "Dad, your fly is down."

* * *

 **An** hour later, Jax is sitting at the bar smoking a joint as he listens to some of the stories he has missed in his five years like Tig losing a chunk of his ass to a dog. But he is only able to listen partially as he just wants to be home with his wife. Opie turns to him with an amused smirk as Chibs and some of the guys from Tacoma become distracted by some croweaters.

"I'm surprised you're still here considering the pre-show you've seem to have gotten," his best friend points out.

Jax gives him a lazy smile. "I'm about to leave in a little bit. Parties are boring when you can't participate."

Opie chuckles at that in agreement.

"Noelle did good while you were gone." Opie tells him.

"I know," Jax agrees. Jax knows he got lucky that he had a wife that stuck by not only him, but the club as well when he left her with three babies to raise. Not a lot of women would've stayed or most importantly waited.

And thinking about it, for him, he still feels like the same man that got locked up. Sure he changed a bit. He knows that the club needs to be smarter. He needs to be smarter. But Noelle and his kids are different. They changed. Life for them didn't stop. And he's scared that he may not fit into that new life they had built without him.

"Where's your head at brother?" Opie asks as if he can read his thoughts.

"It's been five years, Ope." He says and thinks this weed isn't doing a good enough job in making him relax.

Opie nods his head. "Yeah, it has been."

"I just…don't know what to expect especially with the kids."

"Don't stay in the past, bro. Focus on right now and the future. That's what you can do for your kids." Opie tells him. "They will of course need to just get used to seeing your ugly mug again." He adds with a smile.

Jax flips his brother off as he stands up from his seat. "I'm going to head out."

"Just remember that you do have kids in the house," Opie drawls. "You're youngest doesn't believe in knocking either."

"Thanks for the heads up."

* * *

 **Arriving** home with her kids, AJ didn't want to leave, but with the promise of ice cream and the prospect of showing his father his toys, she was able to get him in the car. Noah, her quiet boy, had a small smile on his face at his brother's excitement, but she knows he can't wait to show off his various medals and trophies for his participation in sports.

Addie is a different story. With her nose buried in a book, Addie is acting like it was simply another day in their house.

With the boys off tinkering in their rooms, Noelle heads to her daughter's where she is lounging on her bed still reading.

Noelle enters and sits down at the edge of the bed. "You're going to hurt your eyes reading in this low light."

"That's what glasses are for."

Noelle nods her head as she looks at her daughter's pastel purple room with it's dark accent and furniture. Despite being 10, Addie was very adamant about how she wanted her room to look and that nothing could be pink. It was a very hard compromise getting her to agree to the purple.

Noelle looks at Addie and decides she isn't going to beat around the bush. "I know it's hard with your father coming home after being away for so long. "

"Do you?" Addie questions as she looks up from her book.

"Yes, I do."

Addie bristles. "You could've fooled me with the way you welcomed dad back with open arms and legs."

"Addison!" Noelle says shocked. "You will not talk to me that way."

"Well good because actually I don't want to talk at all." Addie mutters.

Noelle shakes her head at the scowl on Addie's face. She has some nerve to ground her, but it's not like she can take all the books her daughter owns out her room and she makes it a point that the kids can't have TVs or any electronics either.

Noelle stands up from the bed with angry eyes. "You're on dish duty and garbage for two weeks. And if you think I am going to let you talk to me or your father like that you are sorely mistaken." Noelle tells her daughter before leaving her room.

* * *

 **Jax** arrived just in time for Noelle to be making the kids a small simple dinner of club sandwiches with chips.

And Jax had prepared himself for this with the house looking so different. The color of walls weren't white anymore. The foyer that leads into the living room with the open kitchen the walls are painted teal with a precise mixture of dark and light accents. The hallway leading to everyone's room was painted ivory with pictures of the kids that showcased all the years he missed. The home wasn't that of tired parents dealing with a newborn and two kids who were only 6 and 4 years old. Noelle had made this house a home for their family in the years he was gone.

After AJ gives him a thorough tour of the home, he knows Noelle has done right by their kids. And as he makes the trek to their bedroom, he doesn't know how he will ever be able to make up these five years to her.

Jax smiles at the sight of Noelle waiting for him in their bed. He kicks the door shut with his foot and remembering Opie's words, he locks it.

Noelle chuckles. "I take it Opie warned you?"

"Do I even want to know the story behind that?" He asks her as he lays his kutte on the lounge chair she has in the room and as he removes his shoes.

"Your son is working on becoming the block cocking champion in NorCal in the Winston household." She informs him as she stands on her knees as he reaches the end of the bed. Her arms wrap around his neck and his hands hold her waist covered by a pretty little satin dress he doesn't know why she even bothered to wear. He's scared that this all may be a dream and Noelle will disappear from his fingers.

"I don't even know what to say," Jax tells her as he looks into her blue eyes.

She gives him a smile as her fingers run over his close cropped hair, "About what?"

"How to even…thank you…for putting up with me –this," He says.

"Well _I love you_ will suffice," she tells him. "Or you can show me."

Jax answers her with a lopsided grin before pressing forward to capture her bottom lip between his teeth. Noelle smiles into the kiss as he pulls her flush against him. Teeth and tongue clash as he nips open her mouth stealing her breath.

When the need for air consumes them, she pulls back gasping. His lips moves down to her jaw, over her throat, and his tongue carves out the hollows in her clavicles.

Heaving for breath, Noelle clutches his belt and makes quick work on opening the buckle and tugging open his jeans. She tugs down his pants and underwear and works on removing his shirt.

Jax doesn't waste any time either as he grips the hem of her little night dress and tosses it up and off her body. He takes a moment to step back and admire his wife.

For five years he was left with the memory of her body and his own hand to sate him when the urge of his wife – the physical contact – became too much to bear, especially after her weekly visit. Yet, nothing compares to having her here before him with lust blown pupils and swollen lips. She has changed out of her white lace pair of panties and now she wears a pair of navy blue floral lace thong with a matching bra. His fingertips trace over the material and he thinks that since the first time he took her to bed, he has never seen her wear mismatched lingerie, underwear, and bras despite the numerous styles she has owned over the years.

He practically tackles her back onto the bed causing her to giggle that he swallows as he kisses her again. She guides his pants fully off his thighs and he yanks her panties down her legs to join them and her lacy bra quickly follows.

He flattens her back as he pushes her down towards the pillows. Jax crowds her. He knows his wife like the back of his own hand and the way she is looking at him and how her body hums; she isn't wanting some slow and steady. They have tomorrow and later on that night for him to give her some slow love making. Right now this is about getting rid of five years of celibacy – frustrations.

He grips the back of her thighs, bends her in half, knees pushed to her chest, and he pins her thighs and palms himself a couple times before he thrusts into her.

"Holy shit," Noelle groans, hips titled at an angle that has his cock pressing in all the sweet spots that has her eyes slamming shut.

"Feel good?" He questions with a confident smirk as his relentless hips piston forward. She nods wordlessly as her breasts bounce with each thrust as the cant of his hips punches the air out of her lungs.

"I love fucking you," Jax says in a deep gravelly voice, echoing her words from earlier. "Always so good for me, darlin'."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Noelle begins to chant as he begins to slam his hips harder. Steel blue eyes bore into her baby blue ones, the direct eye contact edging them along to their orgasms until he suddenly stops.

Repositioning her limbs, he places her legs around his waist and pulls her up by her arms in a sitting position. Noelle cries out as the angle drives him deeper into her.

Jax releases a moan of his own while Noelle settles into his lap. But soon, she rises using her knees and moves on top of him, he shots a hungry grin before he grips her waist and fucks up into her. Her grip on his shoulders tightens and he practically growls as he watches his wife's head fall back in bliss as moans leave her throat. His lust filled eyes roam over her supple breasts, the tattoo beneath them, flat stomach, the curve of her waist, and heated skin as she hums in appreciation.

Her cries begin to grow louder as he bounces her in his lap.

She reaches down, finds her clit, and toys with the bundle of nerves.

"You gonna come for me," he asks triumphant.

She doesn't need to respond as he leans forward and seeks out her nipple and sucks on it and nips it softly with his teeth. A merciless orgasm rips through her as she releases a strangled cry as she trembles above him.

His grip on her waist tightens as he gallops towards his own finish line, and he slams head first into his own orgasm.

" _Fuck_!" He groans as he falls back onto the mattress arms laying on his side. She follows suit bouncing on the mattress and falling into his side where he wraps her up in his arms.

After catching their breath, she turns to look at him, "I missed you so much, Jackson."

"I promise, no more time." He tells her and he means it. Five years was too long.

Too long away from her and his kids, and as a man he can admit that.

She doesn't say anything, but her lips trail the marked flesh of where her name rests on his neck before she kisses him on the mouth.


	3. Ten Going On Thirty

**I'm glad you are all enjoying the story! It makes me happy with the response. This chapter is more of Jax settling in. I told a reviewer that this chapter Lena makes an appearance, but I have to give my apologies as she doesn't appear until the next one!**

 **Pardon all my grammar errors!**

 **until then.**

* * *

Jax's eyes spring open and for a moment he thinks the past day was a dream. He still thinks that he is sleeping on a hard slap of metal with a thin blanket to cover him and a roommate jerking off below him. But his senses quickly catch up to his as he can smell Noelle's perfume surrounding him in a garden of rose, lilac and peach. He can even smell the breakfast Noelle is cooking wafting through the home. His senses weren't flooded with the smell of sweat and urine. His body relaxes as he realizes he's home. He is home and not in Stockton prison.

He buries his head in his pillow before he stretches and works out the kinks in his body. He finds himself slightly disappointed that he didn't get to wake up next to Noelle. After all, he has five years to make up with his wife. He pops his head up to check the time and he realizes it's only 830 in the morning.

He swings his legs over the edge of the bed and makes a detour to the bathroom to pee, wash his face, and brush his teeth.

Walking back into the bedroom, he discovers that Noelle hasn't moved any of his things and quickly locates a pair of sweats and throws them over his naked flesh.

He begins his trek into the kitchen, where he can hear Noelle and AJ talking. He looks into his kids' room and only finds Noah still in his bed sleeping. As he passes the living room, he sees Addie resting on the couch buried in a book. Entering the kitchen, he finds Noelle standing in front of the stove and AJ is placing silverware on the table.

Before Jax can even greet them, AJ senses his presence and a blinding smile comes over his face. AJ greets him with a tight hug around his waist.

"Morning, dad," his youngest greets.

Jax ruffles his son's hair as he returns his smile. "Morning, Little Man."

"Mom's making chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast!" AJ proclaims.

"Really?" Jax questions with a raise of an eyebrow as it seems that these chocolate chip pancakes are only for special occasions.

"Yep." AJ tells him. "They're even better than Grandma's." He adds lowering his voice as if Gemma is lurking near by.

"My lips are sealed." Jax promises to his son.

AJ smiles before he heads back to the table to finish setting up. "Mom made you some coffee too."

"Did she?" Jax says as he looks to his wife, who is flipping over some pancakes. AJ nods his head and Jax walks over to Noelle, who has just turned off the griddle.

His arms wrap around her waist and he presses a kiss to her shoulder covered in his T-Shirt from yesterday. For a minute he just stands there reveling in the feel and weight of his wife in his arms. After five years, there is no one yelling at them to separate. There aren't anymore boundaries or restrictions. "I hope I'm not messing up the routine."

"You're not." She replies. "Besides worry about relaxing for now. I took a week off and the kids are staying home from the Rec Center too."

"Babe, you didn't have too."

"Jax, don't be ridiculous." She retorts as she turns in his arms. "Besides it's not like we're on some rigid schedule. It's summer."

"Right," Jax replies and he places a kiss on her lips.

Noelle smiles against his lips as she leans up and brings her hand to the back of his head and tries to deepen it. Jax pulls back, "I was hoping you would've been in bed when I woke up."

"Well it's a good thing we always have tomorrow." She replies as she chases his lips and brings him back into a kiss.

Jax nips at her lip when a loud scoff comes from behind them. Feeling like his head was caught in the cookie jar, Jax backs away from Noelle as Addie looks at them with narrowed eyes as she moves towards the fridge and grabs the orange juice.

"Addie, go wake up Noah or he'll sleep all day." Noelle tells her.

Addie passes by them without a word.

"Come on, Dad, you can sit next to me." AJ says as he tugs on Jax's hand.

* * *

Jax is pretty sure he has gained at least five pounds from the spread Noelle had cooked for breakfast. She had made pancakes, toast, sausage, eggs, bacon, and even cheesy potatoes.

He knows his wife is just spoiling him.

Breakfast is quiet though outside of the clattering of utensils and his sons telling him about funny stories that have happened he has missed. Addie only contributes when AJ and Noah trap her into adding something. Noelle just sits next to him quietly as she sips on her cup of coffee. It isn't until they are almost done with breakfast when she speaks up.

"So Aunt Lena and Sarah are coming down to visit." She informs the table.

"Really!" Addie exclaims with a bright smile that he just tries to feel too much hurt from.

"When's the last time they've been down here?" Jax asks as he tries to ignore the hurt from Addie's open excitement about her aunts visiting.

"Lena came down a couple months ago. Gave Addie here her haircut. It's been a while since Sarah came." Noelle tells him.

Jax looks over at his daughter and never thought much of the short curly pixie she had. "Lena gonna pop the question soon?"

Noelle almost snorts at the thought of her sister popping the question. Despite her sister and Sarah being together for almost 15 years, Noelle didn't think marriage was ever in the picture.

"You can ask her when she gets here." Noelle replies.

With breakfast over, the kids were still buzzing from the news of their aunts visiting and Jax being home, but it didn't stop them from doing their usual rituals. Addie went back into her room to work on her artwork. Noah allowed his brother to go in the backyard to practice throwing their pitching with a baseball and football.

Noelle was busy cleaning up when Jax came back fully dressed and showered. Noelle allows herself to be swept up in his arms as he pulls her into his arms. Noelle isn't used to this side of Jax. He was an affectionate man, but he was never this affectionate. She finds she doesn't mind it.

"Addie seems more excited about her aunt visiting than me being home." He says after he plants a kiss to her cheek.

"Addie and Lena are really close." Noelle points out. Lena is the cool aunt, her only aunt, and Lena doesn't help with the spoiling of her only niece. "Besides Addie is going to be a teenager in a few years, it's only going to get worse."

"Yeah, she's ten going on thirty." Jax mutters.

Noelle frowns at his words. She wasn't delusional that things would be smooth sailings with him returning home. Hell, she knows that probably a week from now the obvious changes between her and Jax would make themselves known and they would begin to bicker. After all, bickering was one of the things she and Jax were good at.

She turns around and their blue eyes clash. "Addie just needs to get used to you being home. You know that out of all the kids and probably even me, she missed you the most."

It was true because Addie was _Daddy's Little Girl_ and she was only five when Jax left and she remembers his absence then him.

Jax seems to accept her words as his hands tighten on her hips that are beneath her shirt. He leans forwards and presses a kiss to her lips. Noelle finds it way too easy to get lost in the kiss as he backs her into the counter. And she knows where things could progress if she doesn't pull back. "The kids are up." She tells him.

"We need a weekend. Just the two of us." He says.

Noelle nods her head and places a sweet chaste kiss to his lips before she resumes her cleaning and Jax goes outside to play with the boys.

* * *

A week later, Jax finds himself sitting next to Opie in the Winston's backyard. The kids are running around laughing while Noelle and Donna are making dinner. Jax takes a long sip of his beer as only one week ago, he was still locked in a cell drinking warm water and sleeping on a lumpy mattress keeping one eye open.

"Thanks man for looking out for Noelle and the kids," Jax says as he looks at his best friend. He knows that Opie really was a crutch and support system for Noelle the last five years.

Opie brushes him off. "No need to thank me." As if the positions were reversed Jax would've done the same thing. "How's the family holding up?"

Jax sighs as he thinks about his family. He looks over to Noah, the oldest out of all the kids, entertaining AJ and Kenny. Unlike AJ, who was very open with his excitement of him being home, Noah was more reserved like his mother. But he knew his son was happy he was home. In the private moments when AJ wasn't circling them both, Noah would tell him about his hobbies. Show him the drum set and guitar that their Aunt Lena had bought him.

AJ of course had become his shadow. Jax didn't mind as unlike with Noah and Addie, he didn't see his son grow up from a baby to the five year he was now. He missed all of AJ's milestones as he sat in prison. And for now, he revels in the fact that his son thinks the sun shines out of his ass and that he is some type of hero. He knows that it is because of this absence he has become this enigma.

Then there was his middle child, Addison.

Both she and Noah were complete _happy_ surprises. But Addison even more than Noah. He was still adjusting to life as a father with all the exhaustion and excitement when both he and Noelle were hit with the surprise of a second pregnancy.

With Noah, having a son, he thought it made fatherhood a little bit easier. He had a son to carry his name and it was a boy. Boys to him were a lot easier to handle.

But then Noelle found out he was having a girl – she was having Addie, and his whole life changed. He remembers her being this tiny, pink screaming thing with a patch of dark head being placed in his arms and god, he remembers feeling that surge of protection of knowing he would do everything to protect his little girl. This light in his life. And he remembers how she was like AJ when she was little. She follows him everywhere. She never wanted to be held by anybody except him and Noelle.

Now it seems she looks to always find a way to be away from him.

His little girl wanted nothing to do with him.

"I think we're doing good, but Addie and me can't seem to connect."

Opie hums in thought. "She just needs to get used to you being home again." Opie wasn't about to tell his friend that the first couple months – years – were really rough for Addie. Noelle practically threatened him to secrecy.

"Noe said the same thing." Jax mutters.

"Maybe that means you should listen to your old lady."

Jax rolls his eyes, but he searches out for his wife. She's wearing short jean shorts with a tank underneath a black flannel. Her bright smile was accentuated by her signature red lipstick. God, he knows he is a lucky bastard to have Noelle as a wife. He still remembers when she moved to town with her family. He recalls that even at 15 she was wearing red lipstick. Even though he was a year older and caught up with Tara, it didn't stop him just checking out Noelle in her cheerleading uniform.

Jax isn't under any delusion that the two of them were some love at first sight. After Tara he was a mess and at that point, he and Noelle had a tentative relationship. Before he dropped out of high school, Noelle was assigned to tutor him in science. He attended those sessions mostly because he loved to ruffle her feathers with harmless flirting. But he still remembers that Halloween bash at the clubhouse she and her friends snuck into. And he knew he wanted her. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and tan skin. She was the opposite of Tara and in the back of his mind he knew Tara always felt some sort of jealousy that he even had some sort of friendship with her. But she blew him off and Jax could never resist a chase.

But in that pursuit he had gotten reckless.

And with Noelle letting him in, he had gotten her pregnant. She had to walk across the graduation stage with a swollen belly carrying his child.

But even if he didn't know it, he had loved her at that point.

And he knows most people knew the relationship wasn't going to last, his mother mostly. But he married her and to everyone's surprise they have been married for 10 years.

"I hope Noelle is on birth control," Opie says with a laugh.

Jax rolls his eyes as he stands up and heads to his wife.

She's by herself now as Donna went back in the house for something. He deduces probably some more dressing for the pasta salad. She doesn't even hear him coming and she jumps as his arms found their home around her waist.

"I'm trying to make dinner," she tells him despite her pressing herself into him.

He doesn't say anything as he balances his chin on her shoulder. He almost groans as he doesn't know how it took him this long to realize she isn't wearing a bra.

She tilts her head back to look at him. "Everything okay?"

He nods his head and places a kiss on her cheek and then to her shoulder.

She doesn't say anything else as she lets him hold her in silence before AJ and Kenny come rushing over beckoning him to come play some game with them.

* * *

After having a fulfilling dinner and getting to play with her cousins, Addie watches in mild disgust as AJ continues to fawn over their dad. She honestly doesn't understand why AJ is so enamored with the man who has been gone for five years. Addie prefers Uncle Opie over her dad any day. But she thinks she prefers AJ hanging off their dad than having to choke down her barf at the sight of her mom and dad engaging in PDA.

She quickly heads back to her room and decides that considering the extra person in the house and having two brothers, she'll get the first dibs on taking a shower.

She starts her night routine and is going to grab her robe when she jumps as a knock comes from her door.

She finds her dad standing there unsure as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she tells him stiffly. "I was going to shower since Noah and AJ hog all the hot water."

Jax chuckles. "They probably get that from your mother."

Addie hums as she thinks they get it from him. Mom always took efficient economical showers.

He enters her room slightly and turns to her bookshelf.

Despite being 5 when he went away, her memory of her father was clear. Back then he was young, long blonde hair, and smaller. Now his hair is closed cropped and bigger muscularly. She heard her grandpa joke that instead of prison it seemed he went to a day spa.

But her memory of him was of him being a hero to her. Her dad was her whole world. She was a daddy's girl that would run to him before mom.

But she grew up. She listened to what people were saying about her father – her family. She found out why her dad was sitting in a jail cell for five years. She has learned some truths about her family that she isn't sure she can deal with.

"A lot of books here. You read all these?"

"Well that's the thing about growing up. My vocabulary expanded. My favorite books aren't Dr. Suess anymore."

She ignores the pang in her chest at the frown that takes over his features, but she feels some satisfaction that maybe she can hurt him the way he did her.

"I'll let you shower." He replies making a hasty exit.

* * *

With Jax only being home for a week, her little baby boy hasn't wanted her to put him to bed. Now he wants daddy to tuck him in. Her baby boy doesn't seem to need her goodnight kiss anymore. It slightly hurts as she remembers when all her kids couldn't go to bed with a kiss and tuck in from mommy. When Jax was gone that night routine brought her comfort that her babies no matter what had gone on during the day still needed – wanted – that one thing she could provide.

But she is happy that the boys are making Jax's transition easier. She knows Noah only went through a mini phase of questioning where there father was that ended in anger before he settled down. Just accepted it and focused on helping her with Addie and AJ. Her oldest is too mature for his age. She knows AJ just grew up with loving his father. She doesn't know how to explain it any other way except that AJ was his father's son.

Addie though. Addie had inherited her anger she had towards Jax for the longest time.

She frowns as she lathers lotion on her legs. She knows that she will really have to talk to her about how she is feeling with Jax returning home.

She has just finished putting her lotion on when Jax walks into the room and closes the door.

"The boys are down." He tells her.

"Addie?"

"Her nightlight was on. I assume she's reading a book."

Noelle crawls to the edge of her bed and stands on her knees as she beckons him over to her. With her on her knees the height between them is almost even. She wraps her arms around his neck. "It's only been a week."

"I know."

"And soon the excitement will die down and it'll be like you never left." She tells him cheekily. "Then I'll probably get annoyed at you for leaving her clothes all over the floor. Then the sex won't be as exciting."

Jax snorts as his hands grip her waist softly. She can feel his warmth through the silk of her nightie. "Now that's a lie." He says in response to the last statement.

She giggles and she strokes his chin with her fingers. "Don't worry so much."

He huffs and she presses a kiss to his lips. "I love you." She tells him, warm breath tickling his ears.

Jax smiles. "I love you too." He replies as her fingers hook through his belt loops.


	4. Husband, Father, Outlaw, and Man

**As always thanks for the review, favorites, and follows.**

 **I also changed Noah's age from 11 to 12 due to a reviewer asking about age and timeline. So I went back and cleaned it up. You can find a timeline on my tumblr page.**

 **Please leave a review! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **until then.**

* * *

Jax stubs his cigarette out as Clay slams the gavel on the table, ending church. And Jax thinks he looks like a pupil as he eagerly ate up Clay discussing the next few gun runs, local Charming community events to help with PR, the cold war with the Mayans, and how to stay clear of the ATF considering they would probably be watching them since Jax was just released.

But Jax didn't know he would find such comfort sitting in his chair at the table again.

Jax has known since he was five that all he wanted was a Harley and kutte. Now he has it and even more, as he thinks about his wife and kids. Jax decides he can even enjoy the roast fest his guys are giving him about how his weekend at home went with Noelle. It's not like he is really hiding all the love bites his wife has left him with.

After five years in shitty prison, Jax is finally happy and all the guys could kiss his pale white ass because nothing was going to soil his mood.

He's happy and free. He's back with his family. He's with his brothers and honestly he feels like he could be king of the world.

With Clay ending church, Jax exits the chapel and he isn't surprised to find AJ and his mom at the bar messing with Half Sack.

Of course, his little boy hops out of his chair and into his arms.

"I've been replaced," Clay jokes from behind him.

AJ tightens his hold around his neck, "Sorry Grandpa."

Clay laughs as he walks over next to his mom and kisses her.

Jax looks at his youngest donned in a pair of neon green shorts with green stripes and a matching shirt. "I thought you were at the community center."

"I was, but I like spending time with Grandma." AJ informs him.

"Oh yeah," Jax says with a raised eyebrow as he looks at his mom, who only shrugs her shoulders. But even behind her sunglasses he can see the smile and pride in her eyes that at least one of her grandchildren seems to love being around her constantly.

"I'm going to head into the garage. You want to come help?" Clay asks his youngest grandson. Jax knows AJ is hooked as his youngest seems to be a grease monkey and working under Clay, he knows that his son will probably surpass him by the time he's twelve.

"I'll see you later, Dad," AJ tells him as he begins to wiggle out of his arms and books it out of the clubhouse once his feet touch the ground. Clay follows slowly behind him.

Jax walks next to his mom and plants a kiss on her cheek before he orders a drink from the bar.

"Is this a daily occurrence?" He asks her.

"Twice a week," his mom reveals. "AJ actually likes to spend time with his family." She quips before she sips on her coffee. "Noah will hang out with me on Wednesdays, but Addie is a definite no."

Jax raises an eyebrow at that. "So it isn't just me."

Gemma purses her lips and her hands come up and grabs his, "I know it's hard baby. It's tough with girls, but you have to admit, she's like you. Loves deep, hates deeper –"

Jax snorts. "Thanks, Ma."

"Hey I'm just telling you the truth, it's in our genes. Hell, look at Noelle when she gets a bug up her ass." His mom points out. "You were her whole world, baby. I think she is still trying to understand why you weren't there." She adds somberly.

Jax shakes his head. "Are you sure that's all that's going on with her?"

"Truthfully, this change in her happened when there was a run in with Greg and Camilla."

Jax furrows his brow as on the tip of his tongue he was going to ask who, but his spine straightened as the names click.

Greg and Camilla Harper, Noelle's parents, who had disowned her and Lena for their own fucked up reasons. Jax is pretty sure he has only met them once and it wasn't even when he and Noelle got together. It was when Noelle's family first moved to Charming and his mom was being friendly and gave them a welcoming basket. He remembers that Camilla wasn't all that receptive to the nice basket his mom made or even to them standing on her doorstep.

So it was his pleasant surprise to find that Noelle didn't have that pole stuck up her ass like her mother.

But he knows that since Noelle couldn't hide her pregnancy and told her parents that she was pregnant with Noah, they had ceased all contact with her. Hell they never even made any efforts to meet their grandchildren or initiate any contact with them.

Jax was smart enough to never bring up Noelle's parents. It was a sore subject despite how shitty they were to her and Lena.

Yet, he is confused why he hasn't heard of his daughter meeting them.

"When the fuck did this happen?"

His mom is taken back by this as her eyebrows rise in surprise. "Noelle didn't say anything?"

"No. So when did this happen?"

"Fun Town. I was surprised Addie took it the hardest."

"All of them seen them!"

"No, no. Just Noah and Addie. Noelle. They were going to buy some cotton candy and Noah noticed Greg staring at them and it's been what 11 years since Noelle had seen them, so she was shocked and speechless and Addie put two and two together and before Noelle could stop her, Addie was determined to meet them. Greg stood there like a dummy while Camilla said some cruel shit, Jax."

"What like the truth?" Jax mutters. Despite how much the club acts like what they do is a secret – it's more of an open secret – and Jax wasn't ashamed of his life. However being a parent there were battles he had within himself about this life he led and he didn't want his children exposed to some of it so soon. And he knows Camilla sprouted her own twisted version of the truth to his two oldest.

"Camilla is just a uptight bitter bitch, Jax."

"So what then…Addie asked you guys about what we do?"

"No, Lena came up and the next thing I knew my granddaughter was rocking a buzz cut. Addie reminds me of John. Head and heart can't ever see straight together."

"She's 10, Ma."

"And she's your daughter. She's more like you than Noah and AJ."

* * *

Noelle loves being a mother. She is happy with her three kids and with being a wife, but she can admit that she always wanted more. She needed more in her life. After all, she didn't plan on having kids when she did and she had plans.

Plans she thought definitely caused some friction between her and Jax and even with herself. Raising three kids and while having a husband that didn't have an exactly nine to five job while going to college wasn't exactly a walk in the park. It also didn't help that her mother in law didn't seem exactly thrilled she couldn't just be a comfortable old lady and raise babies while Jax supported her.

But she managed to get her degree in Business and opened her bath and body shop _Noelle'_ s. And after a lot of tears and frustration, her store opened and was successful. She was happy.

And her kids were happy.

Noelle is locking the cash register and smiles as she sees Noah and Addie entering the store after coming back from the community center.

She smiles at the sight of them laughing.

"Hey, Ma," they greet in unison.

Noelle wraps her arms around both of them and brings them into a tight hug and much to their irritation she begins peppering them with kiss.

" _Mom_! Stop we're not babies!" Noah screeches.

"Or AJ!" Addie adds.

Noelle laughs. "You'll always be my babies."

They two of them glare at her, but she laughs at the identical look on their faces with their scrunched up noses.

She can't believe it's been 11 years since she became a mother. She still remembers when Noah could fit in her arms and never wanted to go to sleep without his little stuffed elephant. She remembers when he took his first steps towards her and after Addie was born how he was so excited to have a little sister even at the tender age of 2.

Addie her baby girl was always a demanding baby. She was never content unless she was in Jax's arms. But she was a happy baby especially with an older brother to get into trouble with.

"So how was the Center today?"

"Same as always," Noah replies as he sniffs some raspberry sugar scrub.

Addie snorts. "That wasn't what I heard. Tristan might be saying something else."

Noelle's eyebrow rises and she doesn't miss when Noah kicks his sister in the shin.

"Hey," Addie shouts as she goes to hit him back.

"Knock it off you two." Noelle orders. "Who's Tristan?"

Noah sends a glare to his sister. "Addie –"

"What?" Addie says with a roll of her eyes. "It's not like you are going to get into any trouble. Besides, it's _Mom_."

"Well it's not like she needs to _know_ everything," Noah mutters under his breath.

"Well what do I need to know _now_?" Noelle demands as she folds her arms across her chest. She eyes her two kids with cold blue eyes. The cold blue eyes of a parent that will make her kids crack.

Although she knows Addie does it because it will annoy Noah.

"Noah was caught kissing Tristan Oswald in what they call the "Casino"." Addie informs her using air quotes.

"You're a rat, Addie." Noah seethes.

"Hey," Noelle reprimands to Noah. "Is it true?"

Noah looks at her guilty.

"Was this the first time?"

Noah shakes his head.

Noelle purses her lips. She knew this day would come where her son, kids, would discover girls or boys and the hormones that would come along with it. She is slightly worried about her son though pursuing Tristan Oswald of all girls then again she shouldn't have been considering half of his genes came from Jax. "Is kissing all that you do?"

Noah scrunches his face. "What else would we do?"

Noelle sighs in relief. "How about we talk about this later?" More so, she'll have Jax talk to their son about this. "What do you guys want for dinner?"

She holds a smile at Addie's disappointment in conversation while Noah beams at the mention of food.

* * *

Noelle and her two oldest arrive home the same time Jax pulls in with AJ on his bike. Noelle tries not to have a conniption at the sight of her youngest on Jax's Harley. It seems Jax can sense her rising panic as after settling AJ back on the ground he has made his way over to her and she finds a sweet kiss pressed to her lips.

"He was fine. Loved it." He says against her lips.

"Like that makes me feel any better," she replies with furrowed brows.

"Dad, you promised to take me on a ride," Noah says as he exits the car with their two bags full of Chinese.

Jax smiles at his oldest. "We can go this weekend." Jax promises.

Noah beams as he follows Addie and AJ into the house to get dinner ready.

Noelle and Jax are left outside and Noelle finds herself pulled into Jax as he presses a deep burning kiss to her lips. "I missed you." He tells her when he pulls away.

"Did you now?"

Jax smiles at her and smirks as he grabs her ass, which causes her to push him away while he cackles and pulls her back without any resistance.

"I'm surprised you're not at the party since it's Friday." She points out.

"I've been to plenty before I got locked up and after. Besides, they're no fun when you can't bring your own entertainment."

"Har har ," she says to him as she fully extracts herself from him. "Well it seems like your son got some Friday entertainment."

"What?"

"Noah was caught kissing Tristan Oswald in something they call the Casino?" She says in confusion.

Noelle doesn't like the proud smile that comes across her husband's face. "Should I know what that means?" Jax shakes his head, but still has a smirk on his face. "Jax!"

"It's just a place you go to make out and _ya know_." He says with a waggle of the eyebrow.

"No, I don't know!" Noelle says horrified and utterly not surprised that her husband had taken girls to this Casino when he was younger. "Jax, he is only 11!"

"Hey, I was the same age. Following in his father's footsteps."

"I think you better chose your next words wisely." Noelle warns.

"I'll have the talk with him." Jax promises.

"I mean god forbid we become grandparents." Noelle mumbles at the thought of her son fathering a child when he was 16 or even 18.

"Hey, I didn't have sex until I was 14." Jax tells her.

" _Jax_!"

* * *

Jax is placing a small cooler in the back of Noelle's car with the help of Noah. Today will be the first official outing as a family as they head out for his football game. Noah apparently had a full schedule with him participating in a sport in every season. Noelle had dreams that he would get a scholarship one day for college.

"So is Football your favorite sport?" Jax asks his son.

"I prefer Lacrosse, but I have a better chance of getting scholarships for more popular ones. It'll be harder, but I'll get something. I told mom I'm thinking about doing wrestling."

Jax raises his eyebrows at that. "You know college is still like 6 years away."

"I know, but it's never too early and besides Mom likes her plans, ya know, makes life easier."

"You sound like her and your sister," Jax mutters.

"Well we are related," Noah replies cheekily.

Jax shakes his head before he takes a seat in the back of the car and pats the spot next to him motioning for Noah to join.

His oldest takes a seat next to him and Jax fully admires the growth in his son. His son will pretty soon reach the edge of his neck – the same height as Noelle – and the same blue eyes and blonde hair that when the sun hits a certain strand it looks like snow.

Even more, there really wasn't anything in Noah that was him physically outside of height. Noah was Noelle through and through. Except maybe his son has inherited his charm with the ladies.

"So tell me are girls involved in this plan of yours?"

He watches as Noah's shoulders sag. "Mom told you didn't she?"

"So were you telling the truth about Tristan being the only girl who took to the Casino?"

Noah's ocean blue eyes turn to look at him and he can tell his son is hesitating to answer. "You can tell me. I won't be mad." He coaxes. "Besides I'm guilty of the same thing when I was younger."

Noah quirks an eyebrow at that before he bites his lip. Damn, Jax thinks, his son really is Noelle's doppelgänger.

"Yeah, she's the only one," Noah eventually tells him.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Jax asks him.

Noah shrugs his shoulders and picks at the fabric at his knees. "I know she likes me and she's pretty."

"And kissing is all that you've done?"

Noah scrunches his nose. "Dad, are we really going to have the talk?"

"So you know what sex is?"

"Dad!"

"What? Have you _had_ sex?" Jax inquires with a raise of an eyebrow and Jax thinks he hopes for the sake of his sanity his son hasn't been sleeping around. Noelle would surely have a heart attack.

"No, Dad. I've kissed a couple girls, but that's it. I swear." Noah reveals to him.

Jax nods his head and thinks his son is more innocent than he was at his age. His drapes his arm across his oldest shoulders and pulls him into his side, "I want you to know that you can talk to me about this stuff. I won't tell your mom. It'll be just between us, okay. I know I haven't been here before, but I'm here now."

Noah looks up to him and smiles. "I know, Dad."

* * *

Heading back into the house with Noah trailing behind, he finds Addie talking on the phone with Lena and AJ is sitting at the kitchen table with his tablet. He ruffles AJ's growing hair when Addie hangs up the phone.

"Where's your aunt?" He asks his daughter.

"She's in Stockton getting some gas. She'll meet us at the field." Addie tells him as she puts the phone back on the hook.

She glances at him quickly before she does a double take and narrows her eyes. "Is that what you're wearing?"

Jax glances down at his outfit, which consists of his usual attire: Jeans, white Nike's, white t-shirt that was underneath his kutte.

"It would be nice if you were our dad _just once_." Addie says.

Jax goes to open his mouth, but Noelle rushes into the kitchen asking if they are ready to go.

* * *

They arrive at the park and the car isn't even in park when Addie rushes out of the car and flies to her Aunt Lena and Sarah. Jax watches with a heavy heart at how excited Addie is to see her aunt. And despite the heat of jealousy that swarms him as he watches Addie hug Lena tightly, he does have a good relationship with his sister in law and her girlfriend.

Lena was the only person to not look at Noelle differently when she gotten pregnant. If anything, Lena was – is – Noelle's only support system outside of him and his family. Besides, Noelle's older sister knew what it felt like to be cut off from Greg and Camilla.

And he knows in the last five years, Lena has been there for Noelle for everything. If anything he needs to build a damn shrine for his sister in law.

"Were you in a day spa or a prison?" Lena jokes before Jax finds himself brought into a hug. "Damn, I missed you. I had no drinking partner in the last five years and I got stuck with listening to my sister bitch."

Jax snorts.

Lena and Noelle were total opposites.

Lena had choppy brown hair that she never let grow past her shoulders. While Noelle had curves and was a little on the short side, Lena was tall and thin. And most of all, Lena was androgynous when it came to her style.

Jax also was well aware of his sister's in law sordid past with women like his own before Sarah managed to tame the beast within her, as Lena puts it.

And Sarah was a fucking catch if Jax could say so himself with her Iranian and Spanish ancestry. He's surprised that Lena hasn't made it official yet.

"Hey, I heard that." Noelle calls out next to Sarah.

"I'm just speaking the truth," Lena replies to her sister.

"And to just think I was starting to miss you." Noelle draws.

"Love you too." Lena says as she blows as kiss.

"Come on Auntie, Grandma and Grandpa are here," Addie interrupts as she drags Lena to the bleachers.

* * *

After the game, everyone headed back to his mom's house for lunch/dinner. Jax found himself quiet or entertaining AJ with trying to teach him poker. Now AJ has left his side and is playing with his cousins when Noelle saunters over with a fresh beer for him and she settles across his lap.

His arms instinctively wrap around her and she presses a sweet PG 13 kiss to his lips. She pulls back and her painted lips tug into a smile before she leans down and rests her head on his shoulder. The two of them sit in comfortable silence as they watch their family talk and play amongst each other. Noah and Kenny are messing around with Tig, Happy, Juice, and the prospect, Half Sack, and Jax is pretty sure they are up to nothing good. Addie is sitting with Lena and Sarah, who are engrossed in a conversation with Donna, Opie, Bobby, and his mom. AJ is of course nestled up with Clay and Piney.

Noelle is rubbing soothing circles up and down his chest and he is sure he is seconds from his eyes fluttering close when she speaks up. "What's wrong?"

His eyes open and he looks down at her to find her sky blue eyes peering up at him. "Nothing," he replies.

She rolls her eyes. "I know you're lying."

Jax takes a sip of his beer and tries to ignore his wife's imploring stare and he knows it's useless. "It's just…being out…I need to find my place again. I know I wouldn't be able to do that without you."

Noelle leans up and presses another kiss to his lips and Jax pulls her closer.

* * *

Watching from across the lawn, Addie gags at her parent's sucking face. It seems that all her parents do is eat each other's face these days. She finds it disgusting quite frankly. After five years and all they do is kiss.

"What's with that face?"

Addie looks up to find her aunt looking down at her through her sunglasses.

Even though she is happy that her aunt has come to visit, she knows that her aunt doesn't have any problems with her dad. In fact, the two of them are practically best buddies. But at the same time, she knows her aunt doesn't have the same blinders her mom seems to have when it comes to their dad. She remembers those hushed conversations between her mom and aunt when something on the news about Charming popped up.

"Since dad came home they've been like zombies always eating each other's face." Addie says.

" _Ah_ ," Lena says as if that makes sense. "How does it feel to have your dad home?"

Addie shrugs her shoulders. It didn't feel any different, but then it did. It was weird to her. "I don't know yet."

"Well five years is a long time to be gone." Lena points out.

Addie nods her head and she tears her gaze away from her parents who are now laughing at each other. At least her mom looks happy, but she finds herself angry about it.

"Are you mad at him?" Lena asks her.

Addie presses her lips in a thin line. She knows she can tell her aunt anything. They have full disclosure. She trusts her aunt, but with this she isn't sure she can tell her aunt about the conflicting feelings she has been having about their family.

And she doesn't think mad is the right adjective.

"It's just mom is acting like the last five years didn't happen." Addie reveals.

"I think it's different for your mom, Ads."

"Is it? He's back home and they are working on giving me another sibling." Addie snaps before she stands up abruptly and heads into her grandparents' house.

* * *

The following day, Jax was left to watch the kids with Sarah while Noelle and Lena go out for lunch.

And even though Noelle loves when her sister visits, she hates it at the same time as she knows her sister has to leave. And despite her kids and having Jax – her family – Noelle missed her sister. She wished her sister lived in Charming. Even though Davis was about an hour away and close, it still wasn't around the corner or a ten minute drive. Besides, her sister had her life with Sarah and the two were constantly traveling and being in love.

Besides, considering her parents kicked out Lena when she was 18 after she officially came out, Noelle has always had to settle for phone calls and short visits.

"I wish you could stay longer." Noelle says after they catch each other up since they last talked.

"An hour isn't too far." Lena amends.

"I know, but Sarah told me you guys are thinking about moving."

Lena nods her head. "She is getting a lot of offers at hospitals. Apparently being a neurosurgeon is a hot commodity these days."

Noelle shakes her head. "And what about your studio, the gallery?"

Lena didn't really have to work as Sarah had no problem in supporting them. But her sister wasn't one to have idle hands. Her sister worked as a hair stylist since she was 16 and even managed to put herself through college for a degree in art with a specialty in ceramics. And now her sister was a successful artist and owned her own studio and gallery. Her sister travelled the world to showcase her work.

"Hey every relationship has their sacrifice. But I would keep them open; I just wouldn't be as hands on with them. I'll probably need your help with that business stuff."

"So you and Sarah, no plans to get married?" Noelle questions.

Lena snorts. "So are you I have to blame for putting that marriage shit in Sarah's ears?"

"You guys have been together for 15 years. It just seems right."

"And I'm happy without the pressure of a marriage license hanging over my head." Lena tells her. "Besides, I have bought her plenty of rings, so it isn't about the jewelry."

"Don't be an ass."

"Hey, she can live her marriage fantasy vicariously through you and Jax." Lena points out.

"I don't think we're the poster board for a nuclear family."

"Why not?" Lena questions confused. "You and Jax seem to have a pretty healthy marriage considering everything, if I must say so myself."

Noelle is taken back by that. Noelle knows she didn't have a bad marriage and she knows her marriage wasn't the only one to happen because they were lazy when it came to using contraceptives. But she is involved with a man that doesn't live the most conventional lifestyle. She loves Jax, she really does, but after five years, she is worried once this honeymoon phase passes what the state of their marriage will really be like.

"You don't think you have a good marriage?" Lena asks after her silence.

"You know when AJ was born. Hell even before, Jax and I weren't at the best place in our marriage." The year before Jax got locked up was not a good one for the Teller household. Honestly, Noelle herself was unsure of where the unhappiness came from. It could've been because they were in a rut and she was so young then. She was married with three kids and trying to juggle her family while going to school and working a part time job. Jax was just Jax and she felt he never had to sacrifice anything in their relationship and more so she knew that the club came first for everything. And she knows pretty soon once Jax is neck deep in club business again that his responsibility to his family and to the club will rear its ugly head again.

"Everyone has bad times in a relationship, Noe."

"I know that."

"Then what is it?" Lena presses.

"I don't know. Just me being a pessimistic I guess." Noelle tells her with a forced smile. Lena thankfully doesn't press her for more.

* * *

That night Jax finds himself wide awake staring at the ceiling. For some reason he can't sleep even with Noelle next to him sleeping peacefully. Counting non-existent lines on the ceiling was something he used to do back in his cell when he got restless consumed with thoughts of Noelle and the kids. And now even home it's those same thoughts that have him awake. He wonders how he is going make up and repair the damage that his five years away has caused.

He gingerly moves out of the bed, as not to jostle Noelle, and heads out to the kitchen to smoke a cigarette hoping the familiar comfort of nicotine will relax him. He isn't able to hide his surprise when he finds Lena up as well.

He looks at his sister in law in a thin wife beater and basketball shorts and her normally messy hair is even messier. "I hope you changed the sheets."

Lena flashes him a bright smile as she takes in his own and the lovely marks that litter his neck, "Well at the rate you and Noe are going at it I should be expecting another niece or nephew soon."

Jax releases a laugh and she does bring up a good point as he knows he has not been wrapping up his shit since he came home. And considering his and Noelle's track record, he makes a mental note to make sure his wife is on birth control or he needs to go on a condom run. "I would prefer to focus on the kids I have now instead of adding to the bunch." He replies as he takes a seat at the table.

Lena hums as she takes a drag from her cigarette. "It's Addie, isn't it?"

Jax nods his head. He knows enough that it's best not to push his daughter into talking. It's better to probably let things boil over.

"You know you gotta wait for her to come to you." Lena advises.

"Trust me, I know." Jax says.

"She's just hurt, Jax. Thinks you're going to leave again."

"I think there's more to it."

"Probably, so I would be smart and not get locked up again."

"Thanks for being here for Noelle and the kids." Jax tells her.

"You don't need to thank me for that Jax." She says with a dismissive wave.

"I do. I know it wasn't easy for Noelle."

Lena nods her head.

"When I got locked up…we weren't in the best place and then I left her alone to raise three kids. She could've left, but she stayed."

"Because she loves you, Jax."

Jax gives her a sad smile. Lena knows what kind of man he is and what he is capable off. She should be strongly advocating for her sister and niece and nephew to move across the state and away from him and his lifestyle.

"Jax, I know you struggle with wanting to be a good man – father – and an outlaw. I'm not entirely sure how they can coexist. But you have a family – a wife – that loves you. Stop thinking on the negatives ya know. Noelle isn't asking you to change, she just wants you here, in any ways she can have you."


	5. Runs

**Life's been busy guys. But here is another update! I hope you guys all enjoy it.**

 **Please leave a review!**

* * *

"I don't like this," Noelle says from her stance against the dresser as she watches Jax pack. He only has been home for a couple weeks and now he is set to go on a run down in Eureka. It wasn't out of state, at least, but they both knew she knows that SAMCRO isn't being community servants by donating blood.

It's times like these it's blaringly obvious about who Jax was and the life they lead. Surprisingly, Noelle never really gave Jax grief about it. At least, the gun running aspect of it, if anything, Noelle would give him shit for not working a normal 9 to 5 job.

Mostly it was because Noelle didn't know how she felt about the Life itself. Her only complaint was now that she lost her husband for five years, but before then Jax had always been careful. Outside of the cold war with the Mayans, life was peaceful, if not downright boring for what people thought of outlaws.

But as she watches Noah and AJ grow, she has to come to terms that her sons are expected to follow Jax into this world. Her only comfort is that Noah seems intent on going to college. He has a plan that involves leaving Charming.

However, her baby boy, AJ is his father's son. He knows his tribe. She knows that her little precious boy will patch into the club and one day will wear the same kutte as his father. That worries her as she can't imagine her son living with the burdens Jax has to. She doesn't want to think about her sweet baby boy killing and going to jail. Yet it's fate. It's inevitable.

"It's a simple run," Jax replies. "One I've done a thousand times before."

If that is supposed to soothe her it doesn't and Jax can see that as he zips his pack up and tends to his wife. Even though he hates going on runs, he can admit the best part is returning home where he has a worried wife waiting to assure herself that he is fine. The white hot sex makes the short distance away all worth it.

He pulls his wife to him and presses a light kiss to her pouty lips. As he pulls back, he can tell she is trying to fight a smile, "Are you going to tell me what's the matter?"

In the 12 years they've been together, Jax likes to think he knows his wife pretty well. He can read every emotion, sigh, eye roll, face expression and most importantly what she doesn't say. Despite five years of being away, he finds relief that Noelle hasn't changed all that much as her eyes trail to the wedding band on both of their hands.

After all these years, he knows the one thing that Noelle never trusts him on. He knows it should hurt, but he also knows the man he is. He also vividly remembers their last argument before he got sent to prison.

He cups her face and looks into her baby blue eyes shining with insecurity – vulnerability. "Noe, I've never indulged on a run." He tells her truthfully. He isn't going to lie and say that he hasn't been tempted because he has especially in the early days of their relationship. Specifically when she dropped the bombshell of her being pregnant, he really wanted to, but she fucking ruined other women for him. His mind and dick couldn't work on the same page when he knew he had a pregnant Noelle waiting at home for him. But the most distressing part of it he thought when he was younger was that he didn't want to sleep around when he had Noelle. He remembers the first run he came back from after Noah was born and coming home to the sight of a clearly exhausted Noelle and breasts swollen with milk trying to feed their son. He remembers being hit with the realization that this was his family. He had this to come home to, her and his son, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that elation he feels every time he walks through the doors to his family.

He can tell she is skeptical and wants to believe him.

"Why would I want road pussy when I have your pussy?" He questions as a smirk tugs his lips.

Noelle snorts and she pushes his hands off her face. "Such a romantic," she remarks.

He cackles before he grabs her and brings her flush to him and gives her a demanding wet kiss. He bends to grip the back of her thighs as he hauls her up on the dresser.

She pulls back, blue eyes darkened with lust. "The kids are up," she reminds him.

"I'll be quick," he promises.

"But –"

"Don't act like you don't want it." He remarks as he brings her into a filthy kiss. His hands dip beneath his navy blue SAMCRO shirt that she's wearing and his hands go to her heated core where he already finds her wet and ready. "Fucking hell, Noe." He breathes against her lips.

He knows that this most certainly will be quick because with how drenched his wife is, she's probably already halfway there. With his fingers of his one hand easily pumping in and out of her and the other tweaking her nipples, her hands are working on his belt and jeans when a loud shrilling shout makes this jump apart.

" _Mom_!" Addie shouts from the top of her lungs while AJ simultaneously shouts _Dad_.

" _Knock it off_!" Noah shouts at his two younger siblings.

Jax groans while Noelle gives him a sheepish smile. She presses a kiss to his nose before she nudges him to let her down.

"I still say we go to the cabin for a whole weekend." Jax grumbles.

Noelle cackles as she heads to the door to make sure their kids to murder each other.

* * *

Jax is clipping on his pack to his bike where AJ is next to him firing off questions a mile a minute about where he is going and Jax answering him the best he can.

"I'll bring you a souvenir back." Jax promises to his youngest as he ruffles his hair earning a whine from his son. Despite what people think, they do actually attend the fronts and he is pretty sure he can find something for his little boy.

"I wish I could come." AJ expresses.

Jax frowns slightly and he knows that one of these weekends's he is going to need to give his youngest his undivided attention. Before he can say something a laugh echoes outside filling the driveway.

"Don't be stupid," Addie sneers.

AJ scowls at his older sister, "I'm not stupid."

"You sure about that?" Addie taunts.

"Hey, enough of that, Addie," Jax cuts in before this fight can escalate. He has noticed that his daughter has been in a foul mood all morning. He knows that it has to do with him. "Don't call your brother stupid."

"Oblivious is more like it." She spats.

Jax holds his tongue and instead realizes that his little girl is carrying a book bag and seems to be going somewhere especially as she goes to the bike rack to unlock her teal bike.

"Where are you going?" He demands to know.

She swings her legs over her bike and looks at him with an irritated expression. "Mom knows."

Jax folds his arms across his chest. "Do I look like your mother?"

She narrows her eyes at him as she gets settled onto her bike. "Have a safe trip, _Dad_. Try not to get arrested." She tells him before she rushes out of the garage on her bike.

"Addie!" He shouts shocked at her words, but then he realizes that she's in for a rude awakening if she is going to talk to him like that. " _Addison_!" He shouts again that causes neighbors to turn their head in his direction as Addie peddles faster on her bike.

When his Jax clenched he turns to find AJ looking a mixture of scared and shocked and Jax runs his hand down his face. He motions for AJ to follow him back in the house and the boy scurries to where Noah is at in the gaming room playing their PlayStation.

He travels back to the bedroom where he finds Noelle fresh out the shower, skin still pink from the steamy hot water. "You leaving now?" She asks him as she dries her skin with her towel.

Despite their quickie and his anger and frustration right now, his dick twitches at the sight of his wife and even the thought of taking this little bout of anger and frustration through her before he leaves. He knows better to go on a run in a fucking mood.

"In a little," he tells her as his eyes sweep to the new love bites that litter her chest near her crow tattoo. He shakes his head and focuses on the reason he is back here. "Where did Addie go?"

"A teacher gives her private lessons for her drawing." She informs him.

Jax raises his eyebrows at this as he didn't know his daughter was receiving private lessons especially when she has an aunt well known in the art field. He decides he can wait until he gets back to unscrew this can of worms.

"I better go or Clay will have my ass if I'm late."

He watches as Noelle slips on her underwear and a bra and walks over to him and winds her arms around him. "Be careful."

"Always am." He tells her and presses a kiss to her lips. "Love you, babe."

"Love you more." She tells him.

He presses one more kiss to her lips before he walks back down the hallway to his sons. He presses a kiss to both their heads while AJ jumps and gives him a hug causing him to smile.

"You be good for your mom." He tells them seriously.

"Always am." Noah mutters and Jax's lips tug upward at those words.

* * *

With her dad locked up in prison for five years and her mom became busy with opening her own store, Addie soon found that reading her books couldn't be the only thing to occupy her time. After all, her bookshelves could only hold so many books at a time.

It wasn't until after skimming through her aunt's art book about sketching that she tested her drawing abilities and realized she was actually pretty good. And she found herself buried in one of her aunt's sketch books until Lena found her and was impressed. And soon her aunt had devoted the whole weekend in giving her a crash course in drawing.

It was just another thing she had to bond with her aunt. Her mother fully encouraged this.

Luckily, Addie can admit that her mom is the best. Despite having to carry the whole family, her mom never once had made her feel neglected or unseen. Juggling three kids, especially with the simmering ball of energy that was AJ, her mom always knew what was going on in their lives. So she shouldn't have been surprised that following the weekend at her aunts' house her mom already had information on local art classes.

That was how she met her art teacher, Mr. Leo.

Mr. Leo was a recent addition to Charming and he had accepted a position for an art teacher for the high school, but was offering his time in the summer at the Rec Center and for her private lessons.

Reaching the single story home to her teacher, she found him in his garage sweeping.

"You're early," he greets with a wide smile.

"It's to make up for last week," Addie replies as her mom made her cancel the last few weeks because of her dad coming home. It was utter bullshit to her, but she didn't want to make a fuss. She knows she is on thin ice with her mom for her comment when her dad was released and her indifferent mood towards her father.

It's just she doesn't understand the appeal of her dad. Her mom was so angry and broken in the first couple years. She knows she tried to hide it. Then her mom got her store and for the first time she believed her mom was okay. Despite the painful weekly visits to her dad, she thought her mom would move on.

Really she thought her mom would move on to the likes of Mr. Leo.

As she watches him put his away his broom, even at 10, she knows older women would consider him a catch. She assumes he is considered good looking with his cropped length hair he kept swept cut neatly. He wears tight fitting clothes that showcased his muscles. A bright friendly smile along with an understanding personality, she assumes that is what women looked for in men. And she knows for certain that he has no girlfriend or boyfriend.

And she can admit to herself she did fantasize about her mom being with someone other than her father. With him gone for so long she wanted a father figure. Of course, Uncle Opie was there, but it wasn't the same. She wanted her dad.

"Your Dad came home right?" Leo asks.

"Yeah."

"Well that must have been exciting."

"If you say so." She mutters. "But he is already gone doing business stuff."

"Your dad is a mechanic, right?"

Addie nods her head. "And a Harley enthusiast."

Thankfully Leo doesn't mention the club, but she knows that some bible thumping citizen has already gave him the run down on her personal life.

"So let's get started on a warm up," Leo says and Addie smiles at him.

* * *

For the thousandth time, Jax swats away a sweetbutt. Tonight he isn't in the mood to even engage in some harmless flirting. Just because he was a married man didn't mean he didn't look or even talk to a pretty girl. Besides, he finds runs boring when you couldn't exactly participate in the festivities.

And that was how Jury found him at a table drinking alone.

"Uncle Jury," Jax greets as he stands up and embraces the man in a tight hug.

Uncle Jury was a friend of his dad back in the war together where they served in the same platoon. Unlike his dad, who had turned his dream of a life on the fringe of society as hippies into an outlaw club, Jury had stayed a biker club that only dealt with bookies and strip clubs.

"Jax, sorry I couldn't make it to the homecoming," Jury says with a bright smile.

"It's alright man. Sorry about Gib," Jax says softly. Gib was Jury's only son, who decided after the army to work as hired guns, and apparently took the wrong gig.

Jury gives him a tight smile as he squeezes his shoulder, "I need to come up to Charming. Been forever since I've seen the kids and Noelle. How's the family?"

Jax flashes him a blinding smile and digs into his pocket for his wallet and phone. Jax tried not to keep to many personal photos on his burners since they were constantly changing, but he had some and of course a stack in his wallet.

He of course kept the photos of kids when they were babies, but now Noelle had given him some replacements of photos that had been taken the previous school year and the yearly family photo.

He pulls out his mobile photo album and these are the more candid photos of his family when they least expected. Of course, most are of Noelle, which Jury notices.

"So I take it married life is treating you good?"

Jax responds with a wolfish grin.

"How long has it been?"

"Married for 10. All together about 12 years."

Jury whistles.

"I know, man." Jax says. He finds it hard to believe he's been a married man for 10 years with three kids to boot. And Jax knows his relationship is a rare find in the outlaw world. He was a lucky bastard to have Noelle has a wife.

He has seen a lot of failed marriages growing up and as a patch. He knows the life he leads is hard. He knows that this Life asks a lot out of the women. And Noelle somehow shoulders it and puts up with his shit. So Jax isn't stupid enough to risk losing his True North, his goddamn reason for practically breathing, for cheap, rancid pussy. He doesn't understand how half these men were able to do it to most of their wives. Hell, sometimes he wonders how Clay sometimes steps out on his mom and how she even turns a blind eye to the on the run policy.

"Don't fuck that up, Jax," Jury advises.

"I won't," Jax assures.

* * *

Addie locks the door behind her and she is surprised that her brothers aren't causing chaos. However it seems that her brothers might not even be home, which means Uncle Opie stopped by or their Grandma.

For a second she thinks the house is empty if it wasn't for her mom's car still parked in the driveway and the house was overwhelmed with the smell of raspberries and coconuts. Addie quickly dumps her art pack in her room and then makes a tour to the back of the house where her mom has what Addie has dubbed her "apothecary". Instead of having a giant greenhouse like her grandma, her mom instead had turned the smallest room in the house to her own personal workshop to test various recipes for soaps and body scrubs for her store. It was only natural that Addie and her brothers were the first test subjects for some.

Standing in the doorway, she finds her mom, her back to her, with her hair in a sloppy bun perched on top of her head while donned in some oversized overalls wearing a sports bra underneath. It was hard to believe that her mom was 30 years old and had given birth to three kids when she didn't look a day over 21. Addie hoped that she aged as well as her mother. Her mother was simply beautiful.

Her mom is busy measuring out ingredients and she finds one of her mom's work benches already filled with jars in various hues. She also sees that her mom has some with a more patriotic theme and in fruit shape jars that are no doubt for the mid-summer season tourist bust that comes through Charming.

"How was your art lesson?" Her mom asks abruptly. Her mom also has eyes in the back of her head.

Addie enters the little room and walks over to her mom and surprises her with a hug that her mom fully returns.

"It was good," Addie mumbles into her mom's torso.

"So you're not mad at me?" Her mom jokes.

"I'm never mad at you, mom," Addie tells her truthfully. Addie knows sometimes she is annoyed with her mother, but never mad. If these last five years have taught her anything was that her mom was a strong remarkable woman. Not only that, but one of a kind. Addie sees how other kids their age have parents who are not involved enough or too much, but her mom was the perfect balance of making sure she had her shit together, but also allowing room for mistakes and growth.

Not only that, her mom was her only parent for a time, and it just felt wrong to ever be mad at her mom for trying to play mom and dad.

"Can I get that on video or something," her mom jokes.

"I'm being serious," Addie says with a scowl.

Addie feels the vibration of her mom's laughter and sighs when her mom begins running her fingers through her hair. "Where are Noah and AJ?"

"With your grandma, of course," Noelle replies.

"She spoils them too much."

"She would spoil you if you let her."

"You know I can't make things too easy."

"Is that how you feel about your dad then?"

Addie recoils from her mom instantly. She doesn't understand why everything has to circle back to her dad.

"Did you have a good relationship with your mom and dad?" Addie asks.

She never really ever thought about her mom's parents because Grandma Gemma and Grandpa Clay were enough. She couldn't even fathom trying to love another set of grandparents, but then her dad went to jail and she wondered about her family. And it wasn't that hard to do research on her mom's family. After all Charming was a small town and her mom's family were prominent figures more so her grandfather as he had an accounting firm. On paper they seemed like the perfect family so Addie was confused on how her mother became entangled with her dad.

She knew her parents were young when they had her and Noah. After all, it wasn't hard to do math. But Addie thinks she was under the illusion of Disney movies about her parents' fairytale romance.

Then she met Greg and Camilla and Camilla had blown any type of fantasy she had about her parents or more so her dad. Also herself as her grandmother had pointedly called Noah a mistake and that she was just to make up for the fact they didn't want Noah to seem like one.

Her mom is taken back by the question and she stuffs her hands into her pockets. "My parents were very distant, Addie. It was all about image. We had to be perfect."

"Don't you miss them?"

"No, not really. My parents aren't the best people. I would love for them to meet you and your brothers, but they're toxic and you don't need to be involved in that. When you're older and want to get to know them I won't stop you though."

Addie nods her head, but she thinks she won't ever have that desire. "Don't think about what they said at Fun Town?" Addie says as she recalls that crazy off chance meeting.

"Hey, you and your brothers are the best things that ever happened to me okay. Don't ever doubt that."

"I just…you…I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy, Addie. Do you think I'm not?"

"I think you make sacrifices for us especially for Dad." Addie tells her truthfully. "And he's back home…and you're not even angry that he was gone for five years."

"Addie –"

"Are you angry, Mom? Because right now I'm pretty sure that reason he is gone can land him right back in jail."

Noelle purses her lips in a thin line. "Addie, I don't know what you want me to say."

"Just answer the question. Are you angry?"

"Of course I am. I was. But there are things, Addie, things I've had to accept when it comes to your dad."

"Like what?" Addie demands.

Noelle shakes her head. "Why are you angry, Addie?"

Addie snorts in disbelief. "I'm angry because Dad waltz back into our lives like nothing has changed."

"That's not true, Addie. And you're not making it easy for him."

"Why should it be easy? Why can't I be angry he was gone for five years!" Addie screams and she doesn't even realize she is crying until her mom wraps her into a tight hug.

* * *

Heading back into Charming, instead of following his brothers to the clubhouse, when they hit Main Street instead of branching off to Buckhead, where the clubhouse rest, Jax stays on Main and turns onto Parade and parks in front of the shop that sits right on the corner for everyone to see.

Considering its noon, the neighborhood is buzzing with activity and few look his way in surprise and others in poorly vein disgust. But he ignores him as he admires the store in front of him that proudly displays his wife's name.

He knew from the moment he meet Noelle that her dream was to own her own store. She never knew what kind of store she wanted to own, but she had dreams to college to get her degree and she said she would figure it out then.

However, she didn't expect to fall pregnant, not once or twice, but three times.

And Jax knows, much to his regret, when she did decide to go back to college while taking care of two babies at the time, he wasn't that supportive. He was making enough to support them while she took care of the kids. But because he made the mistake of thinking one he could just assume Noelle would be happy doting on the kids and two that he had a say in what she could do, it caused a lot of strife for them for a good few months.

However, he should've known that his wife needed more outside of him and their family.

So he was proud of his wife that she finally got to achieve her dream by 30 with three kids to boot while he was sitting in prison.

Entering the store, he expected to be assaulted with various scents, but somehow Noelle has managed to have the shop smell like oranges, which surprises him. The shop isn't very big, but Noelle has managed to make it look spacious as her shelves are stocked to the max.

He picks up various items to look at most are made by hand from his wife and he knows she buys products from other businesses that are homemade.

He looks towards the front of the store where there is one cashier up front, a young girl probably in her early 20s, who is clearly checking him out, and he knows he should probably introduce himself, but he is surprised that the worker doesn't know who he is. He is also curious as to where in the hell Noelle is at.

But soon he can hear the clicking of heels and he knows without a doubt that it is his wife.

"Anna, is someone –"

Noelle's words die in her throat as she catches sight of him. A wide smile comes over her face and his wife practically catapults in his arms.

"You're home," she squeals before her painted red lips descend down onto his lips. And Jax knows if her cashier wasn't here, he would have no problem in taking his little wife back to her office.

But considering he can feel eyes burning on them, he reluctantly separates his lips from his wife and luckily she buys that expensive shit that doesn't smear. "As much as I love it when you maul me, I don't think your worker signed up for it."

Noelle rolls her eyes as she straightens herself out and grabs his hand and leads him to the register. He doesn't even hide that he is checking out his wife's ass in this pencil skirt.

"Anna, this is my husband, Jax. Jax, this is Anna."

Jax extends his hand and gives her a smile, "Nice to meet you."

He watches as a slight blush comes across the young girl's cheeks that she tries to hide. "Nice to meet you too. Umm, Noelle do you mind if I go on my break?"

"Go ahead, sweetie," Noelle permits.

Anna flashes a small smile before she heads to the back.

"Can't turn off the charm for five minutes?" Noelle jokes as Jax pulls her back in his arms when the coast is clear.

"Hey, I can't help it, besides I'm a married man, so it doesn't matter."

"How was the run?"

"Good. Seen Jury. He said he might come up and visit." He tells her. "I have to say that I'm really fucking proud of you, Noe."

"Jax –"

"I am, Noe. Don't downplay this shit. You did this all by yourself." He tells her as she tries to act humble. "I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks, Jax. That really means a lot coming from you."

"I fucking love you, Noe." He tells her earnestly.

"I love you more."


	6. The Prison Clause

**As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. It means a lot and I'm glad you are all enjoying the story!**

* * *

It's a quiet Saturday in the Teller household, or as quiet as it can be with two Teller adolescent boys in the house.

Even as Noelle works on cutting Noah's hair, the boys still find a way to be softly scolded by their mother as Jax contains his silent laughter behind his large mug of coffee and newspaper. Besides, Jax finds his boys courageous to act up when their mother is wielding scissors and a clipper in her hands.

Addie, of course, is in her room and actually talking on the phone with Ellie.

Jax thinks today will actually be a good day.

He isn't needed at the garage or the club. After the wild after church party last night, he is pretty sure half the club is comatose from all the booze and pussy. Frankly, he is surprised he is even up and Noelle is even walking as he came home eager for his wife. But he surmises that is what parenthood does to the body as messes with your internal clock and forces you to ignore pleasant aches to watch and attend to your kids.

He is in the middle of reading about another one of Jacob Hale's projects to make Charming commercial when a knock comes from the door.

"I'll get it," Jax announces as he gets up to answer it.

Opening it, he is confused as he finds a man he has never seen before standing on his doorstep. The dark hair man is nearly the same height and probably the same age and is staring at him with a friendly smile although he notices the man eyes his tattoos, especially the one for Noelle, a little longer than necessary.

"Can I help you?" Jax asks gruffly.

"Hi, I'm Leo Graves," the man greets with as he extends his hand. Jax looks down at it, but makes no move to return the gesture.

"That still doesn't tell me who you are," Jax responds with.

Before Leo can answer, the door is opened wider and Jax watches as his daughter greets the man with a hug. And Jax cannot deny the sting in his chest at his daughter's open excitement of this man. Not once since he came home as Addie showed him any type of affection.

He is about to clear his throat when he hears Noelle approaching and she slithers her way up next to him.

He watches even in more disbelief when Noelle greets the man with a hug.

Jax never was a man to get jealous of his wife having simple innocent interactions with men. After all he had tagged her, married her, and knocked her up three times. If that didn't get the message across she was a taken woman he didn't know what would outside of pissing on her to mark what was his.

However, now she was hugging a man he didn't know two shits about, a fairly good looking man at that, who was apparently close to his daughter, and Jax did not like the feelings that were stabbing him in the gut.

He is about to clear his throat when Noelle seems to remember that he is still standing at the door.

"Leo, this is my husband, Jax," Noelle says introducing him as she grabs his hand. "Jax, Leo here is Addie's art teacher."

"It's summer," Jax states bluntly.

"There private lessons," Leo adds.

Jax raises his eyebrows. "You have them here?"

Addie rolls her eyes at this. "No, Dad, I go to his."

That doesn't make Jax feel any better. "So that still doesn't explain why he's here." Jax says with a clear edge in his voice.

"I actually came because I found some things for Addie she might like to use before our next session," the art teacher explains as he holds out a canvas bag for Addie to grab.

"Oh Leo, you didn't have too. How much do I owe you?" Noelle asks.

Leo brings his hand up to Noelle's shoulder and gives it a caress, which has Jax seeing fucking red. "You don't owe me anything." Jax clears his throat and the man drops his hand. "But I think I should go."

"I think you should too," Jax mutters and his daughter shoots him a glare.

His girls bid the man goodbye and as soon as he closes the door Addie rounds on him. "You didn't need to be rude to him!"

"It wasn't as if I knew the man since no one cared to inform me about him." Jax snaps back.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have been in prison."

Jax goes to open his mouth, but Noelle cuts him and Addie off. "Addison, please go to your room."

Surprisingly, Addie doesn't fight Noelle on this and just does what she's told. Noelle motions for him to follow her into their room. Jax doesn't already like where this is going. Entering their room, he finds its best to stand for this ass chewing he is about to get.

"Jax, you were rude to Leo," Noelle states. "Which was frankly uncalled for."

"He was a strange man standing on my doorstep, how was I supposed to act?"

"Like a decent human being. Addie really likes him Jax. He's been good to her."

" _He's been good to her_ ," Jax repeats in distaste. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Noelle folds her arms across her chest, "It means that he's helped her deal with you being gone for five years, Jax."

"Are you sure about that? Because my daughter can't stand to be in the same fucking room as me."

"Well being rude to someone she cares about isn't going to help your case," Noelle retorts.

"Do you even know what she's telling him?"

"Jax, she knows nothing about the club and if she did…she wouldn't." Noelle insists.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Do you doubt our daughter?" Noelle asks appalled.

"No, it's just you seem to have no problem with her getting close to an outsider."

Noelle looks at him in disbelief. "She's 10, Jax. You don't need to saddle her with that mentality. You do know one day she is going to want a life outside of this and Charming."

"And Leo here is going to help her with that right."

"Maybe, Jax. He's a positive influence in her life."

"And I'm a negative one."

"Don't put words in my mouth," Noelle snaps. "Leo is a nice guy, who doesn't look down on her because of her father like everyone else does. He's been there for a way you couldn't and maybe even Opie and Clay couldn't."

Jax sees red at those words as Noelle implies this man has taken on a father figure role to his daughter. "You seem to have a high opinion of him." Jax says darkly.

"He's been helpful, Jax."

" _Helpful,"_ Jax echoes. "And tell me darlin' how _helpful_ has Leo been to you."

Noelle curls her lips in disgust at his implication. "Are you _fucking_ serious right now?"

Jax looks at her with a blank face and Noelle scoffs. "This is really rich coming from you." She tells him before she leaves the bedroom.

Jax resists the urge to throw shit around and instead grabs his keys and leaves the house.

* * *

Inside of heading to the clubhouse where he could find himself in trouble, he heads to Opie's house. His friend is surprised to see him there and thankfully Donna and the kids are visiting her parents' so it gives the two bikers privacy as Jax regales his friend about his foul mood. As the more Jax talks, he knows he sounds stupid.

He knows he let his emotions and most of all insecurities take lead in this small spat between him and Noelle. But Jax was a man – a man with a whole different set of morals. He knew it would be hypocritical of him to even hold this over Noelle, but the thought of another man with his wife had his veins burning.

Was it irrational, most likely, but he didn't fucking care.

After all he knows that are things that had happen that Noelle didn't regale him about during her weekly visits. He also knows that Noelle was able to snare any man she wanted and despite him being her old man she had the right to cash in on the prison clause.

Five years was a long time – a very long time – hell, if he struggled with it, he sure as hell knew his wife did. It wasn't as if Noelle has ever given him a reason to believe she would step out on him, but he remembers that angry wife he left in the court house when his sentence was handed out.

"Do I think it needs to be stated you overreacted," Opie says after a contemplative silence.

"But you remember how me and Noe were at each other's throat before I got locked up," Jax recalls. That time the two of them could not get along and he learned his wife had a sharp tongue that knew how to cut extremely well and it always ended with him slamming the front door to his house and leaving on his bike.

"Jax, you guys were dealing with a newborn with medical needs that shit was stressful, especially since AJ had all those close calls." Opie reminds him.

"Have you met him? This Leo?"

"Yeah, I've seen him in town. But he's harmless, Jax, because Noelle doesn't look twice at him or any man." Opie tells him. "I didn't take you to be this crazy jealous type, well scratch that, I thought you were done with this crazy jealously thing after Tara."

Jax scowls at the mention of his high school girlfriend. He hasn't thought about her in years. Jax takes a healthy swing of his beer and he recalls that crazy time in his life when he thought he knew what love was. He thought love was that make your heart stop, chew the end of his gun crazy, but he realized that wasn't love just some good sex. Real love made his life easier. Made things easier to breathe, to wake up in the morning. And he has that with Noelle, believes that he does, but there was five years between them.

"It's been five years, Ope." Jax starts. "I was gone for five years and I can admit I liked that Noelle needed me then. She needed me, I know it makes me an asshole, but there was a part of me that knew as long as she still needed me that she would always be there."

Opie looks at him with a raise eyebrow. "Bro, what the fuck?"

"What?"

"Where is this shit coming from?" Opie asks in disbelief. "Noelle still needs you. Noelle loves you. If she wanted out she would've been out, Jax. Where is this noise coming from?"

"When I went inside, I pushed for a divorce." Jax reveals. He remembers after that first year how he could see the toll on his family. How Addie finally stopped crying when she realized he wasn't coming back home with them and how Noelle had to handle all of AJ's appointment by herself. He could see Noelle was struggling. She tried to hide it, but that first year was the hardest on her and he could see his wife go through that. He couldn't stand the thought of her being held back by him because of a piece of paper. "Told her the marriage was a joke and she should take the kids and split."

"And she knew what you were doing," Opie adds. "You know maybe instead of thinking or assuming what Noelle wants in her life you should just ask her. You know communication is a vital key in marriage."

"Is that what Oprah tells you?" Jax jokes before he shakes his head. "I don't know man. Maybe it's just the noise in my head."

* * *

Since Jax's release, for the first time, Noelle finds herself highly irritated with the Vice President of the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the fact her husband was the one accusing her of sleeping around on him with a man he met for two minutes.

Sometimes she wonders what goes through her husband's thick skull. The worst part was that this wasn't one of their ugly arguments. She and Jax had worse fights with her throwing things at him and him destroying his things in the garage. They both had wicked sharp tongues. Thinking on it, she wasn't exactly sure if it was healthy with how bad they could argue. She supposes the consolation was the two seemed to rarely argue that bad and neither never lifted a hand towards each other outside of when she slapped him in there last fight when she found those hickies. Although right now, Noelle wanted to slap the piss out of her husband again. If anything he should know that them being married meant something to her and for him to throw such an ugly accusation at her.

So she's glad he did decide to take his foul mood somewhere else.

But now it just leaves her alone, once again, with their children, who can sense there is something off and for the best of her kids and her mood, she decides that they could spend a little time with their grandparents.

Of course, Gemma and Clay were happy about the surprise visit. It was almost comical to Noelle how the Queen and King of Outlaw Bikers who ruled the land with an iron fist turned to putty with their three grandchildren.

And those twos did spoil her kids, but Noelle couldn't complain about it. She knows how much family meant to Gemma especially.

But with the kids having fun puttering around in the dirt with their grandma, Noelle heads to her shop and calls her sister. She quickly informs Lena about Jax's off base comment.

"This was your first fight since he was released?" Lena asks after a contemplative silence.

"Yeah," Noelle confirms.

"Well it makes sense this would be it." Lena tells her.

"What?" Noelle asks shocked.

"Hear me out," Lena insists. "It's been five years, Noe. He's finally seeing some of the life you've had without him. And the first insight into that happened to be a pretty looking guy that is close to the daughter that seems to hate his guts right now."

"I thought you were supposed to be on my side?"

"I am." Lena answers quickly. "But you need to see things from his perspective too. See where he is coming from. It doesn't justify anything though." Lena adds.

"Nice save," Noelle replies.

"Have you told him how hard it was for you?" Lena asks gently.

Noelle sighs. She feels like Jax knows it was hard. Everyone knows it was hard. But she managed and it wasn't as if she resented Jax for it. And it wasn't hard for what people thought it was for either. She was lucky that she had a support system with Jax in prison. It made things easier on her, but it was still a benefit. And she wasn't going to complain about being a mother. Even though she and Jax were kind of thrown headfirst into parenthood, Noelle had always felt that she did pretty well with her kids. She was a great mother. She could say she had a great relationship with her kids and she loved being a mom. Being a single mom essentially wasn't hard on her.

It was the one thing she had reconcile that she would never try to change about Jax that she struggled with.

"He promised me no more time, but I think that was more of the fresh outta jail mentality." Noelle reveals to her sister.

"And you believe him?"

"I believe he means it. I know he does." Noelle tells her. "I don't know…I just don't want to feel like a hypocrite because before I just dealt with it."

"Noe, it's perfectly understandable to feel angry that your husband is in jail and to know as soon as he is released that he is going to go back to the same thing that got him locked up in the first place."

"But I know what I married into," Noelle insists.

"So?" Lena replies. "Look, it's not like you're asking him to change or anything. You're simply telling him what you were feeling no matter if it is relevant now or not. He needs to know these things or you're going to start getting angry at him for little things."

"I hate it when you're right," Noelle mumbles.

"Perks of being an older sister. Look, if you're worried about ruining this honeymoon phase you two had sorry to break it to ya, but it's already cracked. Might as well shatter it."

* * *

If there was one thing Gemma prided herself on above all others was that she was a damn good mother and grandmother.

And she will not deny that her grandchildren owned all her heart and soul.

For a time when Jax was young and dick centric and worse of all with his high school tart, she was worried that her son may never bless her with grandchildren or he would saddle them all with having Tara Knowles being the mother of them.

However he ended up shocking them all by knocking up Noelle at the tender age of 20 and becoming a father at 21. Just turned old enough to _legally_ drink alcohol and trying to prove his worth as a patch. If marrying Noelle wasn't enough shock to her weak heart, her son nearly gave her a heart attack when barely a year later, her son had gifted her with another grandchild. And she nearly couldn't contain her giddiness when her son informed her that a third Teller was coming into the world.

And Gemma was happy with her three grandchildren. However, she wouldn't complain if Noelle and Jax decided to grace her with a couple more. It seemed they were close in achieving Gemma's old long desire to have a very big family herself. She imagines she would have if it wasn't for her damaged heart that already took her youngest son and nearly claimed the life of her youngest grandchild.

However she thinks this urge for more grandbabies is because her babies are growing so fast.

Noah the spitting image of his mother in temperament and looks was about to turn 12. She still remembers the day he was born and how labor took days for Noelle until Noah decided to come into the world. She still remembers his blond tuff of hair and his tiny, but powerful screaming lungs.

And she had thought he would be the only grandchild. She had believed that considering she was so unsure about Jax's and Noelle's relationship and thought her son wouldn't make the same mistake twice about keeping his shit wrapped. But lo and behold, Addison Teller came into the world with a head of brown hair and eyes. Unlike her brother who came in screaming, she was a quiet thing. She was fine in watching and observing. And she thought her heart would melt at the sight of Jax with his own son, but it was his little girl that had owned his heart. She recalls vividly how much Addie was attached to Jax and how much Clay loved the little girl considering she had him wrapped around her finger. She can't believe it was 10 years ago that Jax's little stubborn daughter was born.

Then there was AJ, out of all the kids, she knows this one will follow in his father's footsteps. This boy was born the spitting image of Jax and Thomas. At the tender age of 5, she can see a lot of Jax in him from the love of Harley's and how he can appreciate the sight of a pretty woman. It's even better that he loves spending time with her because from past experience she knows her precious babies will grow out of it.

However, despite never minding when Noelle would drop the kids off, she could tell that something had happen within the Teller household. Noelle would never leave in that much of a rush and if she and Jax planned on fucking all night and day, Jax would've been the one to bring the kids down with that wolfish grin on his face.

Gemma knows she made a promise to herself that she would control her meddling, but with her son fresh out of the joint she knows that the honeymoon phase has probably ended.

"Grandma, I think this plant is dead," Addie points out breaking her thoughts. Gemma looks down at her recently potted Mariposa lily bulbs.

Gemma walks over to the pot and frowns. These little shitheads just kept on dying on her. "You may be right sweetheart."

"I know I'm right." Addie replies cheekily.

"Alright smart ass," Gemma replies.

"Maybe we should take them to a flower shop, see where we're going wrong." Addie suggests.

Gemma raises her eyebrow. "Is my granddaughter actually suggesting we spend more time together?"

Addie rolls her eyes. "Well considering Mom and Dad are fighting, I think we're spending the weekend here."

 _Jack-fucking-pot!_ Gemma looks down at her granddaughter in concern, "What do you mean?"

"Well, today, Mr. Graves came by and Dad was being really rude to him and him and Mom went to their room to talk and next thing I know is Dad is leaving the house and Mom dropped us off here."

"Huh." Gemma mutters to herself. Knowing Leo Graves, he is an attractive man, and knowing her son considering that Noelle was one of the most beautiful women to roam the streets of Charming, the prison clause must have jumped in his head. However, if her son knew his wife at all, he knows that he absolutely owned his wife's pussy and she wasn't looking for another dick to ride. But she knows that one insecurity of her son's was enough to open the can of worms of what a five year prison sentence had done to his family.

"Mom seems pretty mad with whatever Dad said to her and Dad only leaves the house when he knows Mom is right." Addie points out.

Gemma looks down at Addie impressed. "Know your parents that well, huh?"

Addie shrugs her shoulders.

"Well they'll work it out." Gemma tells her.

"Don't they always."

* * *

Jax arrives home at night to an empty driveway and house. He doesn't know whether he is mad or not, but he knows he shouldn't have expected Noelle to be waiting for him either.

He throws his keys in the ceramic plate Noelle has on the side table in the foyer and throws his kutte on the coat rack before heading into the kitchen and grabbing the carton of orange juice and drinks straight out of the container.

Seeing that it is nearing 9 o'clock, with the kids not home, he concludes they are most likely at his mother's. But he knows that Noelle wouldn't voluntarily spend time with his mom. Despite only being home for five minutes, he is seconds away from calling his wife asking where in the hell she is at when headlights flood the kitchen. Putting the juice away, he goes and stands in the doorway of the kitchen when Noelle walks through the door. If she is surprised to see him, she doesn't give it away. Instead, she gives him the cold shoulder as she takes off her shoes and hangs up her purse and keys.

"Where are the kids?" He asks her when it seems she isn't going to be the first to talk.

"At your mom's."

"Where were you?"

"Where were you?" She counters as she turns to look at him with hands cocked on her hips. Despite his fucking confusing anger, he thinks he missed this fire in Noelle's eyes.

"I was at Ope's." He tells her.

"Hmm," she hums and goes to walk away and head down to their bedroom.

"What you don't believe me?" He asks instantly irritated with her walking away from him.

"Does it matter?" She throws at him.

Jax brings his hands up in a praying gesture and exhales a breath. "Sometimes you are a real piece of work."

Noelle's eyes turn into slits. "Fuck you asshole. Stop acting like everything with you is rainbows and sunshine."

Noelle begins to finish her trek down the hallway and Jax takes a deep breath and composes himself. He reminds himself that for them to get past whatever this is, he needs to get to the root of the problem. He trails after her and grabs her wrists effectively stopping her.

She stops and turns to him with a clenched jaw. "With the five years away, did you cash in on the prison clause?" He asks her.

Her turns into pure disgust at him and she rips her arm out of his hold. "Are you seriously asking me this!" She shouts at him before she makes a detour to the bathroom and slams the door shut.

* * *

Jax knows it was a dick move to leave the bed before Noelle woke up. In all their years together, the two usually woke up together and if Jax had to leave early he would always nudge her awake for a quick goodbye.

But considering that it had turned to the North Pole in their bedroom, as Noelle found sleep easily, he had laid on his back as sleep evaded him. Eventually he decided to go for a ride before heading to the garage and work on some cars.

After all, he thinks he is pissed the most at himself. He knows that Noelle most likely didn't cash in on the Prison Clause and if she did, she had that right.

He thinks his real anger was just how this Leo man seemed to be a father figure in his daughter's life and even if Noelle didn't mean it or realize it, she had made it seem like he wasn't a positive influence to his daughter. And Jax knows that he isn't some saint, but still he tried to be a good man, husband, and father.

And Jax thinks he needs to make quick moves to rectify what's going on with him and Noelle. After all, he was only feeling this way because of five years being locked up. Both he and Noelle were different people and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Jax has just replaced a rim to a Ford Focus when his mom pulls into the lot. He doesn't see the kids in the backseat and he assumes she must have dropped them off at the Center. He watches from the corner of his eye as his mom appraises him and he knows from years of being the Queen of Charming she had learned to keep her face guarded.

She doesn't even bother heading into the office as she makes a beeline straight to him. "Hey, baby," she greets as she takes off her sunglasses exposing her brown eyes to him.

"Hey, Ma, how were the kids?" He asks her as she presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Good, stuffed them up with some pancakes. AJ misses you though. Wanted his daddy to tuck him in." She informs him. "They staying with me for another night or is it still Antarctica?"

Jax glowers at his mom.

"I take it the honeymoon phase is over?" She assumes. By the pissed off look he sends her Gemma is correct.

She grabs one of the stools and sits in front of her boy. "Five years is a long time, Jax –"

"Ma, I know." He interrupts.

"So what you're feeling is okay. It's normal, but also remember who Noelle is." His mother advises. "I can assure you Jax that Noelle has never looked at another man since you were gone. Hell, since you knocked her up with Noah."

Jax's lips tug up slightly at the mention of his oldest son, but he shakes his head. "It's just they have this life outside of me, Ma, and I don't know where I fall into that. And I know Noelle is scared I'll go away again and I can't do that to her Mom."

"You just need some time baby. It wasn't as if you weren't there." She tells him as they visited every week and Noelle always made sure he had enough money to use the phone to call his kids daily. "And Noelle is stronger than you're giving her credit for, Jax. A lot of women in her shoes would've left or been angry and bitter. Blame the club. Instead, she kept her head held high and raised those babies like it were nothing."

"I didn't know you were Team Noelle," Jax tells her as since Noelle entered his life it seemed the two women in his life constantly butted heads.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm Team Jax through and through, but Noelle makes you happy. Gave me three grandchildren. Besides we've become close in the last five years. I can admit I underestimated her."

Jax raises his eyebrows at that.

Gemma rolls her eyes before she purses her lips, "But how are you feeling, baby?"

"Outside of this and Addie, I'm happy to be home, Ma. I'm good." His mom gives him a small smile and he watches as her lip trembles slightly. "What's wrong, Mom."

"I just... I just missed you so much." She reveals as she tries to hide her face. And she did. Five years she worried about her son being in prison with the enemies they had and the fact he had a whole family at waiting for him. And now it hits her more than ever how much strength it took her and Noelle to remain strong as she looks at her baby boy and sees the man he has become in his absence. And she thinks that she wouldn't survive if she had to live with another stint with her son behind bars. "I love you more than anything in this world, Jackson. You know that, right?"

Jax pulls his mom out of her seat and brings her into a tight hug. "I know. I love you, too, Mom."

* * *

Noelle was lucky she worked in a store that had a high abundance of lavender because she thinks it's the only thing keeping her mellow right now especially if her thoughts linger on her husband. At this point, she wasn't sure what exactly she was mad at, but she wasn't going to make the first move to apologize.

She is in the middle of replacing her most popular items, which is the lavender sugar scrub and bath salts when the chime from the bell above the door jingles.

Turning around she spots Leo Graves entering the store and he is clearly looking for her.

"Leo, how can I help you?" Noelle greets with a pleasant smile on her face.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you?" He asks.

Noelle nods her head and she leads him back to her office. She ignores the look Anna sends her. Reaching her office, she doesn't bother closing the door and she moves to stand behind her desk while Leo stands the opposite side.

"I just wanted to apologize if I stirred things up at home." Leo starts with.

"You didn't." Noelle tells him even if it is a lie, but she thinks he really didn't because that would allude to the fact there was something to stir up and he had enough power to do that. "And I'm sorry if Jax was impolite towards you."

"He didn't seem to know who I was." Leo points out.

Noelle purses her lips. "I'm sorry if he came across as rude, Leo, that's all you're going to get from me."

Leo nods his head. "Alright, I get it. I just wanted to make sure everything is okay."

"My family isn't your concern." Noelle tells him as she closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose.

Leo seems taken back by her words and frowns. "Right."

"She is."

Both Leo and Noelle jump at the sound of Jax's voice where he is standing in the doorway of her office. If Jax could murder someone with a glare, Leo would've been dead. Matter of fact, if Jax did want Leo to be dead he would see to that personally.

"I was going to follow you to pick up the kids." Jax says to her as he looks past Leo.

Noelle throws him a tight smile while she nods her head.

* * *

It seemed the silent treatment was sticking. Despite having a united front when picking up their kids from the Center, they still weren't talking to each other. At this point Jax could tell the kids knew something was wrong as they tried to maintain some sort of conversation from their parent's silence.

With Noelle cleaning up the kitchen with the help of Noah, Addie's in the shower, and Jax is tasks with managing to get his youngest energetic son into his pajamas and in bed. Jax has learned that his son is a three stories a night type of kid. And after the third story, it seems his son has no intention of going to bed.

"Alright, Little Man, your mom is going to be upset if I don't get you into bed." Jax mutters as he tucks his boy in tightly.

"Just one more story, Daddy." AJ pleads with a wide smile on his face.

Jax huffs, but concedes as he looks at the small collection of books his son owns. He is in the middle of grabbing one of the Bernstein Bear books when AJ speaks up from his bed.

"Are you and mommy mad at each other?"

Jax looks over at his son. "Why do you ask Little Man?"

AJ shrugs his shoulders, "You guys weren't talking at dinner and Mom has that look on her face when Noah and Addie get in trouble."

Jax huffs at that. "We're okay." Jax tells his son because he knows that he and Noelle will be. They always are.

"I love you, Daddy."

Jax smiles. "I love you too."

* * *

Noelle huffs as she tosses and turns in bed and turning to face the clock and finds that it is 1 o clock in the morning. Laying back down on the pillow, she turns expecting to find her husband and even if they aren't talking she had anticipated rolling into his arms, but instead the left side of the bed is empty and the sheets are cold.

Noelle sits up and frowns at the empty spot.

Yesterday, she had already woke up to an empty bed and she wasn't keen on this this becoming a recurring thing over something so stupid.

Knowing the kids are asleep she forgoes her robe that matches her nightie and she goes down the hallways hoping to find her husband. She doesn't find him in the guest room, the living room, or kitchen. Instead, she hears noise and the soft hum of music coming from the garage.

Noelle heads into the garage and finds Jax smoking a cigarette working on a bike he has plans to restore. He is in nothing but his grey sweatpants and white muscle shirt. The air in the garage is chilly and she regrets not grabbing her robe. She watches Jax for a few minutes as he purposefully ignores her.

Noelle is fully aware now that Addie gets her attitude from Jax. Noelle steps into their garage and closer to her husband and turns off the radio.

She folds her arms across her chest, "Is this how it's going to be?"

Jax tenses a little at her voice, but he continues to work on his bike.

Noelle growls in frustration and marches over to him and snatches the wrench out of his hand. "Jax, we need to talk about this."

Jax finally looks at her with a scowl on his face.

She scowls right back before running her hands through her hair. "Whatever this is, Jax, is really stupid. You're mad about something I didn't even do or entertain the thought of. We're married with three children; I never had or have any interest in that stupid prison clause."

Jax looks away from her, but she grabs his chin to force him to look at her. "Jackson –"

Her words die in her throat as Jax lunges at her and she finds herself brought into a bruising kiss as she is backed into the counter space behind her. This kiss is possessive, demanding, and wanting. Noelle was used to these types of kisses to some degree and right now she is having a hard time in keeping up. When the need for air becomes too much, his lips trail down to her jaw and neck and she can feel him sucking vibrant hickies in his trail.

She is taken by surprise when he lifts her up by the back of her thighs and he parts her thighs with his rough hands as he steps between them. Her nightie is scrunched up on her thighs. And she hates that just with his thumb rubbing the inside of her thighs can make her so fucking wet.

His thumb just grazes her panties, which has her eyes falling shut.

His lips finds hers again and they open and close their mouths together perfectly in sync. She moans into his mouth as one of his hands left her thighs and he cupped her breast with it before pinching her nipple with the right amount of pressure.

Noelle's hands trail under his shirt and she begins to push it up when Jax chuckles lowly and trails a kiss from her lips to her jaw and then to her ear, which he bits on playfully before blowing on it. "Your pussy belongs to me, Noe?" Jax tells her, which has her eyes flying open as his thumb presses firmly against her.

However, his words snap her out of her lust induced fog and she pushes Jax back, which shocks him.

She can't believe she fell into one of his traps where he thinks he can distract her with sex. That sex will suddenly fix everything.

Noelle hops down from the counter and fixes her nightie.

"Sex isn't going to fix this, Jax. I'm not 25 years old anymore."

Jax wipes a hand down his face, "That's the fucking problem."

Noelle looks at him confused, but she knows she isn't going to get an explanation as she turns on the radio and goes back to his bike.


	7. Family Recipe

**Another update! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Donna raises an eyebrow as she watches Noelle angrily cutting the potatoes. Donna is surprised that Noelle hasn't lost a finger. Although with how hard she is peeling the vegetable she is imagining that Noelle is actually disemboweling her husband.

Donna turns her attention from Noelle to Jax who is laughing in the backyard as he plays with his boys. Donna can say she is glad that Jax is back at home with his family. She knows the boys really missed their father especially little AJ, who is the spitting image of his father.

And as much as Addie tries to hide it, Donna knows the little girl missed him terribly.

Donna doesn't know how Noelle did it. Donna thinks if that if the roles were reversed she would have crumbled under that weight especially since Noelle had three kids to take care of. AJ was only six months with medical problems when Jax went away. Donna thinks she would have resented the club and Opie for putting her in that position.

However, Noelle didn't crumble and Donna is pretty sure that the mother of three only cried three times in those five years. Once when Jax told her he was going away, the trail, and after the first visit in Chino.

It doesn't take Donna very long to guess what the reason is behind this cold front the two Tellers are putting up with each other.

Donna eyes the mother of three with her long blonde hair that is held up in a ponytail. Noelle is wearing dark skin tight jeans that show off her ass. A tight white tank is underneath a black flannel. It's almost hard to believe that Noelle had given birth to three kids with the way she kept her body in shape. Donna remembers when Noelle had come to town with her red lipstick that she still wears. It was the typical girl next door with the innocent bubbly look and personality. Noelle even solidified that image when she became a cheerleader.

When she first arrived she thought Noelle was just going to be some holier than thou type considering how her parents were. But Noelle didn't let the expected social order that high school's normally had in stopping her from being genuine friends with everyone.

She also recalls that Tara Knowles had hated Noelle with a passion especially after the blonde beauty was assigned to tutor Jax in science.

Donna understands why, but even if Tara wouldn't have admitted she didn't like Noelle because of her trust issues with Jax. Donna never understood Jax's and Tara's unhealthy relationship. They claimed to love each other, but Donna thought of it as obsession. Besides Tara was just jealous and Jax did flirt with everything back in the day, but Tara seemed to take it a step further with Noelle. Donna could say she was impressed because Noelle never took the bait considering how Tara loved cat fights back in the day.

But after Tara left Charming and Jax went through his grieving period Donna wasn't surprised he tried to exercise his grief with Noelle. After all, Noelle was most of the guys' wet dream. She was the modern day Marilyn Monroe. It was almost fitting that the Prince of Charming would swoop in and make his claim on her.

And she knows that Noelle's sex appeal was the true issue of this cold front.

Even if Donna hasn't fully immersed in her husband's outlaw ways she knew like most men honestly liked to have a sense of entitlement – ownership – of their woman.

Jax was gone for five years and Noelle had to create a life outside of him. She learned to be independent from him. She took care of herself without any of his help. And it didn't help that as she ages she still retains her youthful glow. Donna thinks she might be envious if she was that type of woman.

But she knows the two of them didn't expect all that followed from their first initial hookup. After all, Opie did reveal Noelle made Jax work for it.

Before her friend loses a finger, Donna walks over to Noelle and makes her put down the knife and takes her friend out of the kitchen and from the clear view she has of Jax.

Donna takes Noelle into the greenhouse where they will be able to have some privacy.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Donna asks softly.

"Jax's been in a funk since Leo fucking Graves came to the house." Noelle informs her. "It's so stupid, but I'm not going to cater to his ego right now."

Donna nods her head. "It's post release blues."

Noelle scoffs. "But to accuse me of fucking another man?"

"Noe, he's been gone for five years and you're… beautiful," Donna tells her, which cause Noelle to smile. "I mean considering the rules and bylaws for wives…"

"I know, but he knows that I would never do that to him."

"Five years ago, yes. But right now you two are completely different people even if either of you want to admit it or scared too." Donna tells her friend. "Is that it?"

Noelle closes her eyes and nods her head. "I know we've changed, but it's not like anything dramatic happened when he was away. It's just I've grown up. Raised out three kids and you knew how things were before. I was fine with Jax having the reigns and running things. I was happy for him to just come home, but it's not even me. It's just seeing how Addie is with him now."

"She's still not talking to him?"

Noelle shakes her head. "Well after the Leo incident any bridge had collapse."

Donna steps forward and brings her friend in her arms, "It'll work itself out. It will or Gemma will fix it."

Noelle snorts. "That's comforting."

"Or you can buy some nice lingerie and head to the cabin with Jax?" Donna suggest with a waggle of her eyebrows.

"Don –"

"Hey, I'm pretty sure I can recall you telling me that Jax loves pillow talk."

Noelle rolls her eyes.

"It's nothing that talking can't fix, trust me." Donna advises.

* * *

Gemma back from the grocery store after picking up a few things expected the potatoes to be peeled, but she finds the kitchen empty. Noelle and Donna are nowhere to be found. Placing the bags of groceries on the countertop, she heads into the living room where she finds her granddaughter on the couch reading a book.

"Where's your mom?" Gemma asks.

"In the greenhouse with Aunt Donna," Addie informs her with her nose buried in her book.

"And why aren't you outside playing with your cousins?"

"Because I'm reading." Addie says exasperated.

Gemma arches an eyebrow and cocks a closed fist on her hip. Gemma thinks that Addie is a dangerous combination of her son and Noelle. She wasn't even thinking about the physical genes that were passed down and she knows Jax will have a lot of problems when she officially hits her growth spurt because of puberty.

But she was talking about the obvious attitude problem her granddaughter seemed to have. And with raising Jax and knowing she herself had a temper when the time came for it combined with Noelle's cold venom, Addie had dangerous malice roaming through those veins.

Gemma shouldn't have been surprised that out of all her grandchildren Addie, the only girl, was the one to inherit her son's cold anger when a situation called for it. But if anything, she didn't take Jax's foul attitude she sure as hell wasn't about to take it from her 10 year old granddaughter.

She wasn't really sure why Jax was letting Addie have this cold front with him.

Before Addie even realizes it, Gemma snatches the book out of her hands.

Addie throws her a glare, but Gemma levels her with one of her own. "You're either going to help in the kitchen or you can go outside and play."

She watches Addie do the familiar jaw clench that Gemma has seen since she became a mother before Addie hops up from the couch and heads outside.

"That's not going to win you any favors."

Gemma jumps at the sound of her son's voice and slams a hand to her already damaged heart. "Jesus Christ, Jax, you trying to give me a heart attack."

"Sorry," he tells her with a wide smile as he moves out of the hallway.

"No you're not you little shithead." Gemma says. "So were you lurking in the halls hoping to talk to her?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders.

Gemma smiles sadly at her son. She knows that of course all his kids were his whole world. His boys were everything to him, but it was that little girl that owned his heart in a way sons didn't. Gemma knows parents would never admit it, but as a mother there are different bond when it comes to mothers and sons and fathers and daughters. And she knows that her son is hurting from Addie's cold dismissals of him.

"Addie reminds me of you when you used to get into funks."

"I did not get into funks," Jax refutes.

Gemma laughs. "I can't believe you said that with a straight face."

Jax throws her a smile.

"Well, with raising you, you eventually get over it. So I'm wondering are you close to getting over whatever is up with you and Noelle?"

Jax steps back from her and shakes his head, "You just never give up."

"When it concerns my family, no," She replies.

"Well this concerns me and Noelle," Jax tells her as she stands tall and hands go to his hips.

"I understand, I do, but baby…"

"Ma," Jax warns.

Gemma huffs.

"I mean it Ma, it's between me and my old lady."

"I know that, but I just want you to be happy."

"I am, Ma," Jax insists. "But it's just a fight. Ones Noe and I have had many times before."

"Jax, but that was five years ago. You're both different people." Gemma replies.

"Is everything okay?"

Both Jax and Gemma heads turn to Noelle and Donna who are exiting the greenhouse. Noelle looks between Gemma and Jax curiously.

"Everything's fine," Jax replies gruffly before leaving the room.

Noelle swallows the lump in her throat at the blatant dismissal from her husband.

* * *

Noelle thinks she is regretting coming to this family dinner. She feels she should've made the excuse she needed to stock up on certain things. After all, Jax can barely look in her direction for his immature reasons. Besides, she thinks she might fit the silent wife archetype easily. Even then she's lucky that AJ is a talkative one.

He can keep the whole table entertained.

"So, Noelle, how's your store?" Juice asks her suddenly.

"It's actually going good. My accountant, he tells me the returns on the store are very good and prosperous. I'm happy people in Charming are so receptive of it." Noelle informs him.

"I didn't know you had an accountant," Jax speaks from besides her.

"Yeah, Bobby was kind enough to do the books for the first year of the store before he referred me to Ezra Goldman," Noelle tells Jax with a forced smile.

"Goldman? That old bastard is still doing books?" Clay asks shocked from his seat.

"Nah, I just put in a good word for Noe, here. She's family after all." Bobby explains.

"Well, Noe, I was actually wondering if one day we could seat down and talk as I just opened the new herbal colonic and weed shop on Crestview." Juice informs her.

"Colonic?" AJ says piping up.

"Yeah, Juicy here is selling stuff to make people poop," Addie chimes with a laugh.

Juice nods his head and adds, "Have you ever seen the contents of a lower colon?"

"STOP!" Both Tig and Happy yell.

Noelle shakes her head at the guys before turning her attention back to Juice. "I would be happy to offer advice. You can even bring some business cards and I'll put them up near the register."

Juice flashes a blinding goofy smile, but from the corner of her eyes she can see the glare Jax is shooting Juice for whatever reason. Underneath the table, Noelle kicks Jax in the leg and in retaliation Jax slips a hand underneath the table and grabs her thigh in warning.

Noelle mentally rolls her eyes as she goes to take a sip of her wine.

"So Jackie Boy can we expect another little Teller running around soon." Chibs asks.

Noelle almost chokes on her wine as Jax looks strangely at her as he pats her back. The table laughs, but the last thing on Noelle's mind is having more kids with Jax. She is quite satisfied with her the three she has now.

"Uh sorry to inform you, but my tubes are tired. Baby factory is closed." Noelle says which cause Gemma to snort.

"Besides a dog is way better than a baby," AJ pipes up from next to Jax.

* * *

Noelle is rubbing lotion on her legs and is happy to be home and that she survived the family dinner even if Jax has been looking at her weird since the baby comment. All she knows is that silent treatment from him isn't going to last any longer and she knows soon he is going to crack since he hasn't been getting laid. Yet, he is going to be in for a rude awakening if he thinks she will let him back in so easily.

"Mom?" Addie calls out with a knock on the door.

"Come in," she calls out as she turns to face the door from where she sits at her vanity.

Addie enters clad in her plaid pajamas and takes a seat on the edge of hers and Jax's bed. Noelle frowns and gets up to sit next to her daughter. "Everything okay?"

Addie brings her feet up and rests her chin on her knees. "Why are you and Dad fighting?"

Noelle sighs and runs her hands through her hair. "I think your Dad still is adjusting to things. We've changed, Addie, and I think he is coming to terms with that. I also know you're not helping with that either." She tells her daughter pointedly.

Addie sighs. "I don't mean too. It's just…"

"You don't want to get hurt again." Noelle finishes for her.

Addie nods her head and Noelle brings her daughter into a hug and kisses her head. She can't even think back to when her daughter has come to her like this since Addie has recognized her anger towards her father. Noelle thinks since Fun Town her daughter has been struggling what it means to be a Teller.

"How do you do it, Mom?"

"I love your Dad, Addie and if I learned anything in the past five years is to not take for granted anything when it comes to him."

"But you're not talking." Addie points out.

"True, but he's still here ya know. Besides your dad is just being grumpy." Noelle adds with a smile.

"Grumpy, he's acting like AJ when he doesn't eat."

Noelle laughs. "You should talk to him, Ads. You're his baby girl and I can tell you that it's hurting him."

Addie gives her a reluctant smile and she knows she got through to her daughter. Addie brings her back into a hug, "You're the best, Mom. I wouldn't know what to do without you."

Noelle smiles as she runs her hands through her daughter's hair. "I love you too."

* * *

When her dad in his self-imposed exile in the garage, she is glad that they will at least have some privacy. After her talk with her mom and her grandmother pulling her aside before they left the dinner, Addie realizes that it was time to move on. To heal from this hurt her dad had done to her and their family. It was time to stop punishing him.

Jax is so lost in the bike he is working on that he doesn't hear the putter of feet leading into the garage or that he isn't alone until a soft cough echoes throughout the room. Jax thinks he would be dead right now if his ten year old daughter was a Mayan.

He furrows his brows though as his daughter stands before him with her cold front she doesn't really interact with him unless it's absolutely necessary.

And he thinks back to that little girl he left five years ago. He knows he has hurt Addie and he is ashamed to admit he never thought about how the life he led would ever hurt his family. Sure having kids and a wife to come home too gave him a good incentive to not die that day. But he never realized the little things that could possibly hurt his family.

"Everything okay?" He asks Addie.

She nods her head. "I was just wondering if you wanted to do something together. Just the two of us."

Jax does his best to keep his jaw from dropping to the floor, but he nods his head. "Yeah, I would love that."

Addie gives him a smile as she nods her head slowly. "Okay, good night, Dad."

"Good night, Addison."

* * *

Opting out of breakfast with the boys and Noelle, Jax and Addie head to Lumpy's to eat. Finding a booth in a corner away from most of the customers and for some privacy, Jax thinks he is actually nervous about having this one on one time with his daughter.

So he decides to start on a neutral subject. "So with all those books you're reading, what's your favorite?"

"Oh, I don't know. I like so many…like I really liked Fahrenheit 451. I read that last summer."

"It's about the burning books right?"

Addie nods her head.

"I think we read that in high school."

"You did. Mom told me. She said she actually proofread a paper you wrote on it."

Jax furrows his brows as he tries to recall that. But then the memory hits him, he remembers Noelle going over it to appease some of his flirting with her about her cheerleading outfit. However, he also remembers the epic fit Tara threw over letting Noelle check over his work.

"You know your mom was my tutor in high school."

"Yep, Science. It's how you two met, but as Mom recalls you didn't need it. You were just lazy."

Jax snorts. "Yeah, she used to tell me that all the time too. But that doesn't give you an excuse to slack off." He warns.

"Like Mom would let us. But I have a feeling you should be telling that to AJ. He's the slacker in the family."

Jax shakes his head as he chuckles while the waitress brings them their drinks and takes their orders. As the young blonde waitress leaves, he sees the whites of Addie's eyes.

"What was that for?" Jax asks.

"Even with me here, she still had the audacity to pull down her shirt to show her _ample_ cleavage to you. Does that really work in getting tips?"

Jax wasn't about to tell his daughter that the young waitress was a recent addition to the croweater scene. "I wouldn't know, Ads, considering I'm a married man and all."

Addie snorts. "Ha! I've read enough books to know that being married doesn't stop men from looking."

"I think I am going to have to talk to your mom about what books you're reading." Jax points out.

"So you and Mom are talking again?" She asks sweetly.

Jax shakes his head as he knows his daughter is like this because of his mother.

Jax instantly deflates at that. "Addie –"

"I'm being serious, Dad." She interrupts. "Mom is literally _the best_ and we can tell something is wrong with you guys as you're not swapping spit every two seconds."

Jax pinches the bridge of his nose. His Ma was right Addie was a miniature version of him and her with that mouth of hers.

"Ads, you know your mom and me were young when we had Noah and you and got married." Addie nods her head. "So I'm saying is your mom…she had plans and I know I messed up some of those plans. I know your mom's life could've been different if it weren't for me."

"Dad –"

"No, listen, I know the five years weren't easy for any of you, but I put your mom through so much."

"But she's happy, Dad." Addie interjects with a slight frown. "She's happy with you that hasn't changed."

Jax gives his daughter a sad smile. "I know," he tells her. And he knows he can't tell his daughter that he's just scared that Noelle will find that she doesn't just want to deal with his shit anymore.

"You know, Dad, I don't hate you."

"You're mad at me?" Jax surmises.

Addie gives him a shrug of the shoulders. "I'm just hurt." She reveals.

Jax leans up in his booth and grabs his daughter's hand. "I know, baby."

Addie looks up at him and he can tell that she is having an internal struggle as her lips tremble. "I don't want you to go away again, Dad."

"I know." Jax hates that he can't promise his daughter he won't and he has a feeling that she knows that.

* * *

After dropping Addie off with Gemma, Jax finds himself standing outside of Noelle's store with a bouquet of Lily's in his hand. Entering the store, he finds his wife at the cash register checking out a customer. She is smiling wide at the customer and seems to be in a good mood, however hearing the bell jingle she looks up and spots him and her smile dims a little.

Jax moves to the side as the customer leaves and now it's only him and Noelle in the store.

He approaches the counter cautiously as he holds out the flowers. "We need to talk." He tells her.

"It's a really bad time, Jax," she tells him as she folds her arms across her chest.

"There's only the two of us, right now darlin'."

"Exactly, Jax, I have no one to watch the store. We can talk at home." She insists.

Jax huffs and turns back around to the front of the store where he flips her open sign over and locks the door and brings down the blinds.

* * *

"Jax, what at you doing!" She yells.

He ignores her indignation as he goes behind the counter. "I'm sorry." She looks at him with wide eyes, but she doesn't interrupt. "I know I overreacted with Leo, and I had no right to ask you about the Prison Clause."

"Jax –"

"No, Noe let me finish. Those five years were hard," he tells her truthfully. Despite the visits, it just made things harder having to hear about what was going on than seeing. He didn't think it could even be explained what five years of life in a cell does to someone's mentality. "When I first went in and pushed for the divorce was because I didn't want you to put your life on hold for me. I didn't want you to just stay because of the kids. You're beautiful and smart and I'm just an outlaw and decent mechanic, Noe."

Noelle steps forward and cups his face, "Jax, I stayed and I'm still here because I love you. And sure having kids changed what I wanted then, but I'm happy, Jax. I have my children. I have my store. I have you. Five years didn't change how much I love you even when you're a stubborn fool."

"Noe, I would be a mess without you."

"I know, baby," she tells him with a smile on her face and wraps her arms around his neck and places a sweet soft kiss on his lips before pulling back. "But you have to talk to me Jax about things."

Jax nods his head and places another kiss on her lips. "So do you like the flowers or not?"

Noelle pulls back with a smile and accepts the bouquet. "You know I do." She replies as lilies are her favorite. "How was your lunch with Addie?"

"It was good. I think we're slowly going to get back on the right track." He tells his wife as she replaces the flowers next to the cash register with the lilies.

Jax walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her. "I love you, Noe. So much."


	8. Tall Grass

**Chap is kinda slow, like a filler. But I Hope you guys like it.**

 **Please leave a review!**

 **until then.**

* * *

Jax has to admit his son and nephew are more resourceful than he was at their age. With summer in full effect and the two boys tittering on the edge of becoming teenagers it meant that they would want things of their own without hounding their parents.

Besides Noelle and Donna never let the kids get things they wanted just because they wanted them. They had to work for them.

So he was genuinely impressed that Noah and Kenny had started their own lawn mowing business. It seemed the two had a loyal customer base as well. And from the 15 houses they have passed he knows his son better not be asking him or Noelle for money for a while.

This was his first trip in providing the boys a ride in his truck to the neighborhoods as Opie usually does it, but Ope got put on a rotation for a run.

Jax thinks SAMCRO is in the wrong business.

With AJ next to his side as the little boy managed to weasel his way into the trip playing water boy, he follows Noah, with the weed whacker, and Kenny, with the lawn mower, approach a house that is clearly being neglected.

The grass is getting to a dangerous height. The gutter to the house has fallen into the driveway and Jax isn't going to comment on the newspapers that are stacked or scattered on the front steps.

His immediate thought is that this is an abandoned house that is clearly depreciating the value of the neighborhood, but taking a longer look and seeing the Cutlass in the driveway, he knows whose house they are standing in front of.

Andy Knowles, the town's depressed drunk and Tara Knowles' father, and quite frankly a piece of shit. Jax feels that familiar hatred of that man run through his veins as he looks at the abused home. There were a lot of times when he was younger that he wanted to lay Andy Knowles on his drunken ass. There were a couple close calls with them slamming each other into walls after Tara would walk around with black eyes or bruised arms.

Back in the day, Jax thought the man was pathetic. He didn't feel an ounce of sympathy for the man as just because he lost his wife prematurely didn't mean he could treat his only flesh and blood like dirt. However, according his mom, Andy has always been a little crazy and with his wife dead, he needed a new punching bag.

And considering the state of the house, Jax assumes that karma is finally hitting the old man in the gut.

"I think we should ask if we can cut his lawn," Noah suggests.

Jax looks at his son. "He doesn't let you guys."

"Dad always told us to pass this house," Kenny reveals.

"Really?" Jax asks and he knows that he shouldn't be surprised but is. It's been over 10 years since Tara was here in Charming and with him. He sure as hell moved on and he hoped the drunken bastard still wasn't holding a grudge over dead history.

"You know who lives here?" Jax asks.

"Grandma said an old drunken bastard," AJ pipes up.

Jax sighs because of course his mom would say something like that, but he isn't going to deny the description.

"Well, Ope wanted you to stay away for a reason."

"But, Dad, look at it. We'll cut it for free." Noah says as he eyes the yard with disgust.

Jax tugs the hair on his chin and concedes. "Alright."

The Teller-Winston clan walk up to the residence and Jax sticks to the back with AJ to let Noah and Kenny handle their business.

Noah knocks on the door pretty hard before the door is swung open and Jax almost gags at the smell of alcohol that runs out of the house. He is pretty impressed that Noah and Kenny keep a straight face as AJ can't hide the scrunch of his nose and overall disgust.

Alcohol hasn't done Andy Knowles any favors.

"Hi, Mr. Knowles, we were wondering if we could cut your lawn and trim your hedges," Noah greets with a wide smile. Jax knows he gets that smile from his mom.

Andy looks Noah and Kenny up and down and no doubt is trying to place where he knows the boys from. "I don't have any money." Andy replies gruffly and goes to close the door.

"We'll do it for free," Kenny adds.

Andy stills and scratches his beer belly and narrows his dull green eyes at the boys. "Where do I know you boys from? Especially you." Andy says pointing at Noah.

"Well we mow the neighbors' yards," Noah explains.

"Nah, that ain't it," Andy disagrees. And those green eyes flitter pass the two 11 year olds and land on Jax Teller with his youngest son.

"You're that bastard's son ain't you." Andy says with venom and loud of enough for Jax to hear.

Noah is taken back by the comment. "Excuse me?"

Jax moves to the door. He isn't about to let anyone disrespect his children. "Fuck you, old man. Let's go." He tells the boys.

"Well my daughter sure escaped a trap with you. Thank god she didn't have any of your bastards."

"Go to hell, man, you pathetic drunk." Jax says with a sneer as he directs his boys away from the scene.

"Or what? What is the big bad piece of shit biker going to do to me?" Andy taunts. Spit is flying from his mouth as his belly jingles.

Jax turns around with a clenched jaw. "I ain't 19 years old anymore. You better watch what you say."

"Empty threats," Andy taunts as he pulls out a flask from his bathrobe.

Jax sneers in disgust.

"That's right, walk away and go back to your whore and bastards. You'll never do better than my daugh –" The words on Andy's tongue die and Jax was just going to ignore the man. He didn't need to get locked up beating on a senior citizen, but the thump of a flask and the sound of a body smacking on the man's small cement porch had Jax turning around and immediately calling 911.

* * *

"Mommy! Mommy!" AJ cries out as Jax rushes into Noelle's store. Witnessing Andy collapse had spooked his son and his little boy couldn't stop crying for his mom. Jax feels like shit he can't comfort his son, but the kid needed his mother.

"Jax what's wrong?" Noelle asks worried as she reaches them before he even makes it halfway into the store. After all, AJ's cries could probably be heard miles away.

He transfers his son into his mother's arms and he watches as the boy latches onto her in a death grip. "Jax?" Noelle asks again as she beings rubbing their son's back.

"Andy Knowles collapsed in front of them." Jax tells her.

"What?"

"Had a heart attack. Guess the drinking finally caught up with him."

"Jesus," Noelle mutters.

"I know," Jax says.

"Is he okay?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, Noe. It's not like I really care."

Noelle shoots him a warning glare, but he shrugs his shoulders. She wasn't there to hear the shit the man was spewing. If anything it was just bad karma catching up with that son of a bitch.

Noelle focuses on AJ has she soothes him and Jax watches with a fond smile as he recalls Noelle with their kids as babies and nothing to him was sexier than seeing Noelle in mother mode. However, his phone begins vibrating in his pant leg and he sees it's a text from Clay telling him they're having church.

"I gotta go, babe," he tells her.

"He can stay with me," she tells him.

"Are you sure? I can take him to hang with my mom. I'm taking Noah and Kenny there."

"It's fine, Jax." She assures him.

"Alright." Jax concedes.

He steps forward and places a kiss on her lips and one onto AJ's head before leaving the store.

* * *

Watching Jax leave, Noelle turns to her son who is still sniffling on her shoulder as she rubs his back. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

AJ tries to control his hiccupping as he turns his head smearing his tears across her shoulder and tells her what happened between hiccups, "Noah and Kenny were asking if they could cut his grass. The man seen Daddy and started saying mean things before the man fell down."

Noelle wants to ask what the man said, but she knows that in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn't matter. After all Andy Knowles and Jax have bad blood because of his relationship with Tara. Noelle decides it's best not to even think too hard on Jax's high school sweetheart. After all, Tara always seemed to have a problem with her in high school.

"It'll be okay, baby." She promises her son. "I think I have some cookies in the back. You want some?"

AJ beams at her and she leads him to the back.

* * *

Dropping Noah and Kenny off with his mom in the office, Jax heads into the chapel where most of the guys are waiting for him. Jax sits in his seat as Clay begins Church.

"So on the way back from their run, Opie, Hap, and Kozik stopped in Indian Hills. Went to visit Jury."

"How is Uncle Jury?" Jax asks considering he just seen the man in Eureka and everything seemed fine.

"Apparently, the Mayans are trying to kick up a vig to them for running books and pussy." Clay informs them.

"The Mayans know that the Tribe's a brother club. Part of asking for that vig is about shitting on us." Bobby says speaking up.

"I thought things were _cool_ with the Mayans," Jax says speaking up. Cool was a generous term when it came to the Mayans. Ever since Jax was young he remembers the club always being at odds with the Oakland based club. But he knows things have cooled considerably since the Mayans cocky stunt that landed him along with some Niners and Mayans in lock up.

"They were," Tig says. "But having the VP of the mother charter back home might have given them some courage." The table murmurs agreements.

"Well Jury asked for advice," Clay continues. "I think we need a bigger presence."

Jax looks at his stepfather shocked. "You thinkin' patch over?"

"Shit Clay they're bookkeepers and bouncers," Piney speaks up after taking a hit of his oxygen tank.

"Earning outlaw size money," Clay adds.

"I don't know Clay," Jax says voicing his uneasiness. "I don't think slamming a patch with no warning is right. Plus half those guys will probably patch out going outlaw."

"That's true. If they wanted to be outlaws they would still be," Bobby agrees.

"I think it would be good for us," Juice says speaking up. "If a Mayan beef is going to be escalating we need numbers and charters."

"Well let's put it up for a vote."

"Should we patch over Indian Hills?" Clay asks. The vote passes with no objections, but that means there is a mandatory run to Nevada.

* * *

Coming out of the chapel, Jax heads into the office where he finds his mom. He is about to ask her if she can watch Noah, but she beats him with her own question.

"So what happened with Andy Knowles?" She inquires as she takes off her reading glasses.

"Had a heart attack. Guess the drinking caught up to him." Jax tells her with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Kenny said he was saying some pretty nasty things." His mom implores. After all, what he said had shaken up her grandbaby and she is wondering if she will need to make a visit to St. Thomas. When Jax was young, she never intervened in how Jax and Andy interacted. If she had liked Tara enough maybe she would have made a friendly trip to see the drunken bastard. Yet, it would have been a waste of breath with how unhealthy and doomed Jax's and Tara's relationship was.

"What the shithead has to say is irrelevant, Ma." He tells her. "But we're about to head out. Can you watch Noah?"

"Of course, where are you going?"

"Nevada." He tells her.

She raises an eyebrow at that. "You be careful down there."

"Always am."

* * *

As he expects, Noelle is not happy with him going on an impromptu run and she doesn't even try to hide it from him.

"It'll only be just this night. I'll be back tomorrow night." He promises.

She huffs as she folds her arms across her chest. "I hate when you go on runs."

He brings his hands up to her face and cups her cheeks. "I know, babe. But it's just a patch over."

"Patch Over?" She questions with wide eyes. "I think for this circumstance, Jax, the less you tell me the better." She mumbles.

The light bulb goes off in Jax's head. "Is that what this is about?" He asks her as he pulls her flush against him, chest to chest. He bumps his nose against hers before he practically swallows her tongue out of her throat before she pushes him away.

"You're an asshole."

Jax laughs. He smiles down at her as he brings her back into him. "No need to worry about the road pussy, babe." His hand sneaks between them and he goes to the front of her jeans where he pops open the button.

"Jax!" She hisses as she tries to stop him. "AJ can walk back in here."

"He's too busy with Anna. I'll be quick."

"What every girl wants to hear," she mutters as Jax backs her into the desk.

His response is shoving his hands down her panties and biting on her pump lip. Noelle clings to his shoulders, pulling him closer, and she can smell the motor oil, nicotine, sandalwood, and leather and the natural scent that's all him. She buries her fingers in his growing hair and tugs making him moan in her mouth. Tongues sliding over each other, Jax disconnects their lips and gives her a lecherous smirk.

Both seem to be having the same thoughts, Noelle kicks off her jeans and underwear off her body while Jax undoes his pants and slides them down with his boxers.

Noelle turns and flattens against the desk, being unresisting to Jax's every will, as he toys with her clit before smearing the head of his cock against her wet slit and guiding himself into her tight heat.

Back arching, Noelle moans at the weight of his body pressed up against her. Thick and heavy, he's filling her up so sweet as he starts off slow, rolling his hips in deep, long strokes that as her biting her lip as she fucks back on his cock. But soon he has her screaming.

Jax's hand comes over her mouth as he pounds into her making her feel drunk on endorphins and her knees weak.

Jax finishes first, thrusting through his orgasm and she shudders at the feel of him deep inside her feeling her up. His thrust set off her own peak leaving her clawing at the desk.

When she catches her breath, Jax turns her around and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"You're going to be the death of me," she jokes.

"I could think of worse ways to go."

* * *

With Addie hanging out with Lena this weekend, with AJ already with her, Noelle heads to Gemma's house where she finds the biker Matriarch fixing dinner. Noelle's initial plan of a quick escape is thwarted as she knows Gemma purposefully began to make dinner to have her stay.

Noelle can't believe she has forgotten how meddlesome her mother in law could be. However, it wasn't as bad as it was when Noelle and Jax first got together.

In the beginning, Noelle had to deal with the fact she was an outsider. Gemma didn't trust her at all. She knows her mother in law thought of her as weak. There were a series of passive aggressive tests that a pregnant Noelle never was sure she passed or didn't really care if she did.

If she thought being a pregnant teen was terrible dealing with Gemma, when it was known she was giving birth to a boy, Gemma tried to insert her ways onto Noelle on how the boy was going to be raised. She knows Gemma didn't support Jax marrying her for whatever her reasons were. She thought Gemma would've been appeased when she had Addie, but whatever distraction that two grandchildren could provide didn't stop Gemma from criticizing her on the fact she wanted to go school and have something of her own outside of being a wife and mother. After that fight and Noelle and Jax already being on shaky terms from the exhaustion of her trying to balance motherhood, school, and working while Jax tried to balance the club and his family, she knows Jax had confronted his mother about butting into _his_ family.

From that point the two were furthermore on shaky ground. They didn't really come to a more solid ground until the birth of AJ since he had inherited the family flaw and then the two really relied on each other when Jax got sent away for five years.

She thinks Gemma had come to terms that Noelle was a permanent figure in her son's life and simply the fact that she wasn't the only woman that owned her son's heart. Noelle doesn't understand why it nearly took Gemma ten years to realize that.

After greeting her babies, who are rough housing in the living room, Noelle heads back into the kitchen to see if Gemma needs any help.

She finds Gemma sipping on a cup of lemonade that Noelle knows is spiked, and Noelle has to admit that Gemma has aged well considering the life she leads. Looking at her, Noelle would've never believed that Gemma was in her early 50s and the grandmother to three kids.

"Seems you and Jax have gotten over his funk," Gemma comments.

"And how'd you figure that?" Noelle comments dryly.

"That hickey you're trying to cover up for one," Gemma says pointing out the gift Jax had left her will on her neck. It seems her long hair can't do its job in covering it up.

"We're good if that's what you're wondering." Noelle replies dryly.

Gemma looks at her daughter in law. There was a time she was worried about how a beauty like her was going to fit in their world. However, Gemma learned the hard way that Noelle was able to handle many shades of red that didn't come in a tube.

But everyone has weaknesses - insecurities. Like she knows her son is scared of the beauty and brains his wife has. As much as Jax loves his club, she knows her son worries about how it affects his family.

She also knows Noelle's insecurity with Jax. It was the fact that the two of them got so serious while he was still mourning that tart of his high school girlfriend. The only reason she was even thinking about that gash was because of what happened to Andy Knowles. If the heart attack is serious, she has a feeling that the past will come back to Charming and the last thing she needs is for that Good Doctor messing with her family.

She trusts her son not to fuck it up with Noelle, but she knows Tara for some reason has been a weak spot for Noelle. But maybe Gemma can understand. She remembers how Jax was around Tara. They were immersed with each other that it honestly wasn't healthy. Both were borderlines territorial and possessive that was highlighted over many jealous fights the two had.

"You hear what happened to Andy Knowles?"

"Yeah, Jax told me before he left and AJ seen it. Spooked him."

"I guess the old drunk had it coming and all." Gemma comments.

Noelle shrugs her shoulders. "Sad that he is all alone though."

"Didn't think you would care."

"I don't. I just find it sad. I think I have other things to worry about."

Gemma raises an eyebrow. "You're not worried about Jax are you?"

"I always worry when he goes on the road, but I'm not worried about the croweaters, Gem. Jax knows what he has."

"So how many hickies did you give him?"

Noelle rolls her eyes. Only Gemma would ask that question.

* * *

Opie with a cold beer in his hands finds his VP sitting in the back of the Indian Hills clubhouse on a couch smoking a cigarette.

His brother looks miserable and Opie decides to poke a little fun at that misery. "Why don't you go get your dick sucked? After all, it would be on the house."

Jax rolls his eyes. With being married for ten years and not partaking in road pussy since, he doesn't understand how he is still a sought after patch. He thinks the girls would take the hint he wasn't interested considering Noelle was all he needed.

"I assume everything is well in the home then," Opie comments pointed out the love bites on his neck.

Jax shoots his best friend a grin. After the initial office nookie, Jax couldn't help himself to another round, which was rougher than the first and both him and Noelle left with bruises.

Opie shakes his head. "I guess we'll see the result 9 months from now."

"Fuck off."

Opie laughs. "So did you expect the night to go the way you did."

Jax shrugs his shoulders. As expected Devil's Tribe weren't too excited about the patch over for SAMCRO as before the vote even happened four guys threw in there kutte. And he was certain if something did pop off with the Mayans they would lose more.

Honestly, Jax wasn't surprised that the Mayans would start a pissing contest after he was released. It was downright predictable.

But so far they have been managed to avoid another bloody war like '92 and Jax was hoping they would still be able too even if that meant being the bigger person and reaching out to find a solution. After all, he just got back to his family and he wasn't eager to lose more time with them for anything.

"They have to want something."

Opie raises his eyebrow at that. "Thinking of expanding our customer base?"

"Make sense. We could of course have stipulations and they also want territory. Wasn't that what erupted the war back in '92."

"Yeah because they wanted to traffic their drugs through Charming." Opie adds.

"Why not charge them a vig for safe transport?" Jax counters.

"Shit, man, I don't think the club will go for that."

Jax takes a sip of his beer, "Well I don't plan on catching a bullet to the back of my head anytime soon either."


	9. Explosions

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Sorry for the late update. I've just been busy these past couple weeks. And I got slightly distracted by making an outline for a "True Blood" story I may possibly write. But I hope you like this chapter, this all sets up the second half the story.

until then.

* * *

Since the Patch Over, Jax has seemingly been in a good mood. Noelle wasn't going to question it as she is glad to see her husband happy.

After all, she has learned to appreciate these quiet bouts with the club. She knows things would get quiet and downright boring before something would happen and put them in a tailspin.

So she would appreciate her husband's easy smiles and the fact he looked like the young 32 year old he was.

However, her husband is playing a dangerous game with her as he keeps distracted her by kissing her neck as she tries to do the dishes.

Jax has always had a very active sex drive she never had a problem in keeping up with. But with becoming parents, his frequent need of sex had to be curbed when they had three demanding babies to take care of. And right now, all three of their kids are up and wide awake as he nips, sucks, and licks at the sensitive area of her neck he knows that makes her knees weak. She growls in frustration.

"I'm seconds away from slapping you with this dish towel," she tells him and she is rewarded with a laugh in her neck.

She backs into him hoping that he would take the hint and create some distance. Yet, he uses it to his advantage and she feels a prominent bulge against her ass. "Jesus, Jax," she mutters.

"What can I say darlin', but dick is constantly hard especially with you wearing these itty bitty shorts." He tells her hotly against the shell of her ear before he bites her lobe gently.

His breath makes her shiver, but she doesn't break her resolve. "You know your kids are only a few feet away and aren't oblivious babies anymore."

"Hey, I have no problem taking this to the bedroom," he tells her as he presses a kiss to her cheek. And before she can even comprehend, his warm callous hands dip in her shorts and he runs his fingers over her. "Fuck, Noe," he growls as he feels how ready she is for him. Any objections to him doing this in the kitchen with her pressed against the sink dies in her throat as he presses his finger gently inside of her.

She gasps quietly and her grip on the edge of the sink turns her knuckles white as he adds a second finger and picks up the pace.

"Come on, take what you need darlin'," he tells her hungrily as her hips begin to move against his insistent fingers.

She feels him hard behind her and he occasionally meets her in a thrust, but she's too far gone to really take care of his need as he is busy kissing her neck and biting her ear. She bites her lip to hold back the moans that she certainly doesn't want her kids to hear.

"Close already?"

She nods her head and his fingers begin moving frantically.

"Come for me, baby," he whispers as he licks a wet line done her neck and his free hand comes to her chest and pinches her nipple.

She releases a silent cry as her body shakes with her release and she clenches down on his hand like a vice.

Jax holds her as the trembles fade away slowly before he turns her around, his erection still prominent, as he brings her into a kiss. She feels him smiling in the kiss and a part of her wants to slap him. Instead she brings her hands between them and dips them underneath his hoodie and shirt and scratches his stomach.

"Come on, babe. I ain't going to last long." He whispers against her lips as she toys with the band of his boxer briefs.

"Gross."

Noelle jumps and Jax looks over his shoulders as Addie looks at them in utter disgust and pretends to gag.

"How do you think you got here?" Jax says with a laugh.

"A stork dropped me off at the wrong house," Addie replies dryly.

Noelle rolls her eyes and Jax pulls away from her with a wink. She thinks he is lucky he wears oversized clothes as if he didn't their daughter would be scarred for life. Yet, she is glad the two of them seem to be getting back on track.

Jax places a kiss on her cheek before he exits down the hall and Addie comes over to place her cup in the sink.

"Are you and Dad going to have another baby?"

Noelle almost drops the cup at her daughter's question. Newborn babies were the last thing on her mind and Noelle wasn't sure if she wanted another kid. She knows Jax didn't care or object being the possessive man he was, but she thinks their family is complete.

"Probably not," Noelle tells her daughter truthfully. "Do you want another sibling?"

Addie shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I mean I think it would be nice to have a sister."

This is news to Noelle. "Really?"

"Yeah, like how you and Aunt Lena are." Addie points out. "But I mean Noah and AJ aren't bad substitutes."

Noelle laughs at that, but her laughter dies when Jax yells _Motherfucker_ at the top of his lungs startling her and Addie.

Noelle throws the sponge in the sink and rushes into the living room and almost collides with Jax as he is heading to the door and reaching for his kutte.

"What's wrong, Jax?" She asks worriedly.

He shakes his head and presses a burning kiss to her lips. "I'll see you later."

Noelle is left is a stupor and walks back into the living room where her boys look frighten and she turns to the TV where a breaking news announcement is across the screen giving details about an explosion down by the streams.

* * *

Jax looks at the remnants of Bluebird Industries and he can't believe the Mayans would make a move this bold.

Jax thinks he underestimated the Mexicans MC's hate for them because he did not expect this shit. This was clearly an act of war and it was the last thing the SONS needed. After all, Bluebird was their front to their illegal gun operation. Outside of the M4s and Glocks that were stolen, there were some of their other products that were littered across the vast Greenland property that luckily Trammel, their lovely PD that loved green, had cleaned up before any other department could flag Federal. Even then, the club still needed to worry about their very own Captain America. David Hale would use anything to flag ATF and to get rid of SAMCRO.

With this very public attack, it meant there needed to be retaliation.

Jax guesses the honeymoon stage of his release is officially over.

* * *

After an extensive church with voting that retaliation was imminent, Jax exhales a deep breath as he enters his home. Considering how he left, he knows Noelle is going to want an explanation. Hanging up his kutte and throwing his keys on the rack, there is a soft glow coming from the living room and he finds his wife sitting on the couch waiting for him.

 _God, he loves this woman._ He thinks as he bends down and gives her a kiss on the lips. "Kids?"

"All sleeping," she tells him.

He sighs and lays on the couch resting his head in her lap and she instantly begins running his fingers through his rapidly growing hair. "Tell me what you can baby."

"Mayans torched the warehouse. It requires retaliation." He tells her simply.

She's quiet and that causes Jax to pop his eye open. She's looking at him with barely concealed worry.

"Babe, talk to me."

Noelle sighs. "You just got out, Jax."

"I know, babe, but we're – I'm – going to be careful." He promises.

She looks at him as if she wants to believe, but she can't fully. That hurts him more than he would want to admit.

"I know you will be," she replies. "It's just the kids got you back. I just got you back. I don't want to argue or cause you any more stress, but me and the kids can't do another five years."

Jax knows he can't promise her that there won't be more time. Instead, he grabs her hand and he presses a kiss to her wedding ring.

* * *

After Jax telling her why he left in a rush and the aftermath of that, he had taken her to bed and made desperate and frantic love with her. It was rare for them to have that type of sex but she knows it was because of her voicing her worry to him. Usually, she left her fears unsaid as she didn't want to add more onto her husband's shoulders. Now after 5 years without him, he needed to know that she couldn't do it again. As much as she loves her husband with her whole being, she refused to put her children through that again.

But she trusts her husband to be careful. She believes him when he says it because he believes it, but her belief in his words are somewhat jaded.

Yet, she decides that it's a waste to worry now.

"Noelle?"

She jumps at the sound of her voice and turns around to find David Hale looking at her with a friendly smile. She abandons her task of setting up the body wash display she is working on and gives the Deputy her full attention.

Despite being with Jax for over ten years, she and David had a cordial relationship. She knows when she was younger her parents thought he would have been the perfect husband. He was nice and sweet, but he paled in comparison with Jax. But thankfully he grew out that goofy military buzz he seemed to adore.

"How can I help you, David?" She asks politely.

She knows in her gut that this isn't exactly a friendly visit.

"I was just curious as to how the store was going. From what I've seen it's real popular."

"It's going good actually. I'm glad Charming has seemed to have accepted it." She tells him with a smile.

He nods his head. "Did you think they wouldn't?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I was unsure of how popular a bath and body store would do, yes, but I think it's the worry of all first time business owners."

"Well it's not like we'll ever see what is it called…Bed, Bath, and Body Works."

"I think you mean Bath and Body Works," she corrects.

"Right." He tells her before there comes a lapse in the conversation.

"How's Charming PD? You're set to become Sheriff soon right?"

He nods his head. "That's the plan, but I wouldn't be surprise if a few things change. But it's good. The explosion certainly helps keeps things exciting."

Noelle raises an internal eyebrow at that. She thought the warehouse was not in Charming or in Charming PD's jurisdiction. "I thought that explosion happened out of Charming?"

"Close to the border. I feel it's in my duty to be concerned." He tells her. "Speaking of business, I know you attend some business meetings in Lodi. Did you ever hear of a Bluebird Supply Company?"

Noelle shakes her head as she keeps her face neutral. "Doesn't sound familiar. Should I?"

"Apparently they hold the title on that parcel." He informs her. "Whole area was littered with casings and gun parts. That warehouse was a weapons depot."

"No kidding?" Noelle replies feigning shock.

Hale steps closer to her and looks her straight in the eyes. "Chief Unser's retiring at the end of this month. I'll be stepping into those shoes. Unser's always had a "look the other way" policy with the Sons of Anarchy. I will not look the other way. Just a friendly heads-up for your husband."

"I'll warn him to start driving the speed limit then."

* * *

Arriving home, Noelle finds the Prospect, Half Sack, there watching the boys instead of Gemma or Jax. And she doesn't question it. Instead, she heads into the kitchen and decides to work on dinner.

She is in the middle of cutting up some meat for their antipasto salad when Noah comes into the kitchen. She is taken back when her oldest wraps her in a hug from behind. It's a familiar move by his father and it slightly startles her.

But she relishes in the hug as with her babies growing up public affection is something they claim is for babies. And since Noah has been on the cusp of his teenage years her oldest now wants to be seen as a mature kid that doesn't need his mother hovering.

Besides despite Noah being her oldest, he will always be her baby, much to his chagrin.

"Everything okay?" She asks him softly. Noah moves from behind her to stand next to her with an uneasy expression.

Unlike Addie, who will beat around the bush or use cutting words to deflect from what she is feeling, Noah usually has no problem voicing his complaints. It sometimes reminds her of Jax, as despite her husband being a bad ass biker, he wore his emotions on his sleeves. He didn't have a tough outer crust like most. Her son seems to have the same problem.

"That explosion that happened," her son begins hesitantly and he sneaks a glance at Half Sack, who is at the beck and call of AJ, before turning back to her. "Is Dad and the club connected to that?"

Noelle keeps her face blank at that question. She knew in the back of her mind that these questions were bound to happen. After all, Noah and Addie had learned partially why there father had went to jail as it was related to guns. Her kids were smart and it would be easy to put two and two together.

"What makes you ask that?"

"Just because I don't say anything like Addie doesn't mean I don't notice things. Besides Dad left the house wearing all black even down to his sneakers." He tells her.

Noelle rubs her forehead as she tries to find an out to this conversation. But her son is almost 12 and she hates the thought of lying to her son over something one day he will come to know the truth about.

"If I said yes would you be upset?" She asks him.

He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. It doesn't change the fact Dad is still Dad, ya know. But he does things -" Noah stops and bites his lip.

"What do you think your Dad does?" She says urging him to continue.

"Bad things."

Noelle frowns at that and she steps forward to her boy. "Your dad is a good man, baby. If he wasn't…I would never let you or your brother and sister be here if I thought it was any different."

"I know that, Mom." He tells her. "It's just hard hearing stuff about Dad and my uncles."

Noelle folds her arms over her chest. "What are people saying?" Noah purses his lips together and she can tell he doesn't want to tell her. "Would it be easier if you talked to your Dad about this?"

"I don't want him to lie to me, Mom. I know he will only tell me half of the truth. And I don't want to ask you anything to put you in that position to lie." Noah says to her.

"Okay, baby," she tells her son. "But if you want to sit down with him, you can do that."

"I know, Mom."

* * *

"Bro, this body isn't tagged." Opie calls out as he looks at the now dead body on the warehouse floor.

Under the protection of the night, the guys headed to San Leandro where the Mayans had stored the guns they stolen from them. Not only did they find their guns, but the Mayans source of income: heroin.

Jax had probably predicted how the night would go and he was proactive in wearing a vest as his back smarts from a Mayan almost getting a drop on him. He knows that Noelle is probably going to rip him a new one especially after he promised her that he would be careful.

But right now he could deal with his shit when he got home as now there is another dilemma as he looks down at the body laying on the concrete floor.

There wasn't any ink signifying that this person belonged to a crew. But this person was obviously Mexican or Latino.

"Could be a recent patch in. Prospect?" Juice adds.

"Check his lip," Jax says.

Opie looks at him quizzically, but Happy is the one to pull the bottom lip down.

In dark ink _3-12_ is visible.

"Three-twelve," Bobby questions aloud.

"C.L.?" Opie states trying to place the initials.

However after five years in prison and being weary of every person connected to the Mayans, Jax easily places the initials. "Calaveras. Lodi. He's a wetback MC." He informs his brothers.

"Calaveras is a Mayan puppet club. What the hell are they doing proxying a retaliation?" Bobby questions at this recent development.

But it all makes sense in Jax's head. "Holy shit. What if the explosion was initiation?"

The wheels turn quickly in Clay's head as they make eye contact. The Mayans did the same thing they just did with Devil's Tribe. "It's a goddamn patch-over. Mayans are moving into Lodi."

* * *

Stepping in his house, he finds Half Sack up and watching TV in the living room.

"Everything good?" Jax asks the lanky army veteran.

"Yeah, they're all in their rooms sleeping." Half Sack informs him.

Jax nods his head. "Be careful while you're out riding." He warns as he dismisses the boy.

Jax quietly checks on his kids, who are asleep, before he makes it to the bathroom. He quickly sheds his layers and grimaces at the blood that is splattered across his neck on his chest. He turns to the side where he can see three purple bruises already formed and sighs. There ain't no way in hell he can hide that from Noelle.

After taking a quick shower washing off the night's retaliation, he almost jumps at the sight of Noelle sitting on the toilet waiting for him to get out the shower. He sees that she has put his bloody clothes in the hamper and had a full view of the bruises on his back.

"Rough night?" She asks voice still thick with sleep.

Jax sighs and leans against the sink and wipes the water from his face. "We torched the Mayans warehouse."

"Seems you weren't careful." She comments with a grim smile.

"I wore a vest."

"Obviously, or we probably wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Noe –"

"Noah asked me about the warehouse explosion. If you and the club are connected to it."

Of all things, Jax wasn't expecting that. He knows the kids had seen him leave and he thinks it was careless of him to have gotten ready at the house instead of the clubhouse. "What did you say?"

Noelle sighs as she runs her hand through her hair and licks her lips. "I didn't deny or confirm it. He knows there is something not exactly legal going on here."

"Shit," Jax mutters. "I should talk to him."

Noelle shakes her head. "I would wait until he comes to you Jax. He made it clear that he didn't want to be lied or receive half-truths either." Noelle stands up from the toilet seat and looks at him sadly. "We knew this day would come, Jax."

Jax knew, but he didn't think it would come so soon.


	10. The Return

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** So I know most of you probably guessed this was going to happen. But I'm going to hide for a while haha. Don't hate me too much.

As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows.

until then.

* * *

Even though him and Noelle didn't necessarily argue or really get into about the retaliation and the state he came back home in, Jax finds himself unable to sleep.

Noelle is sleeping peacefully beside him and he thinks she is able to do that as with him gone for five years she learned how to compartmentalize. Learned to not let things affect her sleep.

He knows that he should be worried about the Mayans patching over the Calaveras, but he finds himself trying to figure out what to do about Noah questioning – knowing – that he is involved in an outlaw club.

Jax wasn't ashamed of who he was.

But as a father, there was a dilemma with knowing that your kids would come to realize you aren't some personal superhero.

There would come a time when they would see you were just a flawed human being like everyone else. He wasn't just like everyone else. His flaws – sins – were deeper than most. They were able to be dissected by the public and worst of all his own sons and daughter.

He didn't know how he was going to explain to his son about the lifestyle he had chosen – grew up in. Noelle had pointed out that Noah didn't want a lie either. He wanted the truth that Jax knows his 11 year old shouldn't really have yet.

Hell, Jax was even younger when he found out about what the club really dabbled in. He had to be about 8 when he stumbled across that truth. The club didn't have anywhere to store their source of income and he had no choice but to see it as his dad had stashed them in the clubhouse. They were assembling them in the clubhouse.

Jax, however, was groomed for that. He didn't think anything of it. His sons weren't. Noelle had made sure they were fully aware of their choices outside of Charming. He knows the Noah for sure probably wasn't cut out for the outlaw ways. He didn't think is son was soft or couldn't handle it. It just wasn't for him.

He knows AJ is a different story. Jax knows that AJ will follow in his footsteps. AJ looks at him how he imagined he looked at his father and for a time Clay.

Jax sighs and is about to roll over and scoop Noelle in his arms and maybe wake her up for a sure fire way to exhaust. Instead, his body freezes when he hears something fall in the house. The noise doesn't wake Noelle up, but he is on alert when he hears something creak.

Jax sits up in bed and grabs his pair of sweatpants and his muscle tee and throws them on. He creeps down the hall where he can see the kitchen light is on. He exhales a breath as he sees a flash of blonde.

He swipes a hand down his face as he enters the kitchen, but he almost loses his shit when he sees AJ on his tippy toes on a chair trying to balance himself to climb onto the counter.

Jax knows if he says something that he will most likely startle his son. With light feet, he moves into the kitchen and grabs his son, which startles him.

"What are you doing?" Jax asks angrily as he places the boy on his feet.

Since Jax has come home, he hasn't had to scold his kids for anything. That job was left to Noelle. However, even now that he is angry, he doesn't like the feeling looking at his boy, who is clearly distressed at making him upset.

"I just wanted something to snack on." AJ explains quietly.

"And you couldn't look in the fridge?" Jax asks as he folds his arms across his chest.

"Mom keeps the good stuff up there," his son tells him.

Jax rubs his forehead with his fingertips. He moves the chair back to the table and looks into the cupboard on the very top shelf that he can barely reach and wonders how in the hell Noelle can even reach up here. Sticking his hand up, he grabs a plastic bowl and brings it down where it's loaded with candy.

"I imagine that your mom keeps this up here for a reason." Jax says to his boy.

AJ shrugs his shoulders innocently.

Jax sighs and holds the bowl down and lets AJ grab what his wants. Jax even steals a few Reese's for himself.

"Can we watch TV for a bit, Daddy?"

Jax nods his head as it wasn't as if sleep was coming for him anyway.

Jax joins his son on the couch, who snuggles into his side, while he finds some ancient cartoons from his childhood on TV to watch. AJ doesn't seem to mind.

It's quiet outside of the opening of wrappers before AJ asks him a question. "Where did you go today, Daddy?"

"Went for a ride with your grandpa and uncles," Jax tells him. After all, it was a half-truth. "Why?"

AJ shrugs his shoulders. "Just wondering. I hate when your gone, Daddy."

Jax gives his son a sad smile. "I know, buddy. But I'm not going anywhere."

AJ nods his head before he crawls from his side and into his lap. "Can you take me to my doctor's appointment? Mommy always takes me. I want you to go."

"Okay, Little Man," Jax promises.

AJ beams and the two go back to watching TV.

Jax doesn't remember falling asleep.

* * *

After finding the bed empty, Noelle panicked for a little bit. It was rare for Jax to leave the bed before her and if he did have to leave, he would always nudge her awake to let her know. Wrapping one of her robes around her, she checks on her babies and frowns when she finds AJ's room empty.

She eventually finds her husband and her youngest sleeping on the couch.

She smiles at the sight of the two of them resting peacefully, but she is slightly concerned how they ended up in the living. She rolls her eyes however as she spots the candy wrappers all over the coffee table.

Picking up the wrappers, she discards them in the trash and begins making a simple breakfast for her family: oatmeal.

She is stirring the pot of oats when she hears the telltale sound of her husband's padding of his feet before his arms wrap around her waist.

"Morning," he croaks.

"Good morning," she greets. "How was the couch?"

"Not as comfortable as the bed." He tells her.

"Do I want to know how you ended up there?"

"Heard AJ was up. Trying to sneak into your bowl of goodies."

Noelle turns off the stove and moves to face Jax. "How's your back?"

"It's fine." He tells her. "AJ asked me to take him to his doctor's appointment tomorrow."

Noelle raises an eyebrow at that. "It would mean a lot if you took him."

"I know." He tells her and a frown takes over her lips.

"What's wrong?"

"It's probably going to be another late night." He tells her.

Noelle sucks in a breath as she rubs her forehead.

"Babe, talk to me," he pleads.

Noelle wraps her arms around herself. "I just have to get used to the late nights, bloody clothes, headlines." She tells him. "Oh wait and getting questioned by Charming's finest again."

"Noe –"

"Hale already started asking questions. Wanted me to give you a heads up."

Jax's eyebrows go up. "What? When was this?"

Before Noelle can answer, Noah comes into the kitchen asking about breakfast.

* * *

With the help of the Grim Bastards, they were easily able to locate a CL officer and luckily it was the president Hector Salazar.

So now he and his brothers were on some backwater road on a dead end street looking at the rundown home of Salazar and his old lady.

So far, Jax wasn't impressed with what he was seeing from the rundown home.

Jax stands to the side as Opie knocks on the man's door.

"Yeah?" They hear muffled through the door.

"Yeah, I think we backed over your Harley out here." Opie says. "You might want to come and take a look."

"What?" The voice responds with a tinge of anger as the door begins to open. However, as soon as Hector sees their kuttes he tries to close the door, but he is stopped by Bobby's foot as they charge in the house. "The hell you cabrones doing here?" Hector asks heatedly as Happy and Opie restrain him.

"Find the girl." Clay orders.

"Some of your pussy patches paid us a visit the other night." Happy gravely informs him.

"Why are you doing Mayan bitch work, ese?" Clay asks.

"Caca, piece of shit!" They hear yelled through the house. "Go, go! Easy, darling, easy." Bobby says.

Jax stands in front of a bookshelf as Chibs backs out of the hallway they went down.

"I'm having a rough day with the ladies." Bobby quips as he appears at gun point.

Using the element of surprise Jax grabs the gun from Hector's old lady and is rewarded with a slap across the face. Not usually one for violence especially towards women, Jax head-butts her and tries not to feel guilty, which subdues her, as Chibs and Bobby grab her with no resistance.

"You puto bitch!" Hector yells.

Jax charges at the President and grabs him from Happy and Opie and bounces his head off a desk giving him a bloody nose. "We know Calaveras are patching over Mayan. We want to know why."

"I don't know shit about no patch." Hector lies.

"That's the wrong answer, bitch." Jax says and slams his head off the desk again.

"Enough." Clay orders. "We'll take him to the hole, finish this."

"You can't kill me." Hector wheezes. "I'm a patch president." He adds as he spits blood at Clay's feet.

Clay kicks Hector in the face as he slides on his sunglasses. "I don't recognize your bullshit MC."

...

It was laughable how easy Hector cracked after burying him in a hole and running their bikes by his head a few times. Jax found it downright pathetic how the man had spilled the beans. Apparently the Mayans were setting up and bag and cut operation in Lodi for their heroin as they were moving their drugs to Stockton Prison. And if they were processing heroin in Lodi that meant is had to run through Charming to get to Stockton.

"Got to take Alvarez down." Opie says.

"Shred him in pieces. We get bloody." Chibs adds.

"We off this guy, it's an escalation. Be bloody '92 all over again." Bobby reasons.

"We spare this shithead, might give us a little room to negotiate." Jax adds.

"Negotiate what?" Chibs asks in disbelief. "Alvarez wants us dead."

Clay looks at him, "What are you thinking VP?"

"That I'm not trying to spend 25 years away from my wife," Jax says, which causes the guys to laugh easing the tension. "But we can use this to our advantage. After all they are running this through Charming. Charge a vig, maybe expand our customer base."

He can tell the guys are thinking it over and if Clay is sold than he knows the vote has practically passed.

"Do I need to take a vote?" Clay asks with no objection. "Let this pendejo out of the hole. He's going home."

* * *

"Sometimes I do wonder how they are able to get away with so much shit," Lena tells Noelle over the phone.

Noelle sighs at her sister's words. Detailing as much as she could to her sister about what has happened, her sister was impressed how everyone knew things like explosions were linked to SAMCRO, but nobody could prove it.

"Circumstantial evidence can only get you so far." Noelle replies.

"I'm surprised you don't have gray hair at this point." Lena says. "You worried about Jax getting mixed into some serious shit."

"He's always mixed into serious shit," Noelle points out. "I constantly debate on our full disclosure deal."

"I think you would go even crazier if you didn't know."

"I don't know how Donna does it with the not knowing." Noelle says.

"So far it seems to be working for her. Maybe I should come down?"

"I can always use one of your visits, but I don't want to put you out of your way." Noelle says and tries to hide her excitement if her sister comes to visit.

"Sarah's going away to some medical conference. I'll be here by myself. Might as well come down."

"Well, I would appreciate it. Addie will love the surprise."

"How is my niece?"

"Good. Her and Jax are finally on good terms," Noelle informs her sister.

"I knew they would be. She just needed a minute."

"I guess you're right."

"I'm always right." Lena states proudly.

* * *

Addie surprised herself when she found herself drawing a sketch of her dad and AJ sleeping. She didn't even realize she had begun drawing them until she began working on the meticulous details of her father's growing beard. She had surprised herself even more when she decided to transfer the tiny sketch onto a canvas and to dabble into acrylic paint. So far she had been exclusively using pencils and charcoal. And now considering the book on using paints that Leo had gotten for her, she decided to test the waters with this new sketch.

She likes it more than she would like to admit. Since her dad has been home, it had practically become a daily occurrence that they would find him and AJ napping on the couch.

She doesn't know why really, but her dad looks so peaceful. She doesn't know how she was able to capture it.

"So you've decided to paint this?"

Addie is startled out of her thoughts and looks over at Leo as he looks over her sketch. She knows her Dad hasn't apologized for his behavior towards him and he has done a good job of not letting her father's rude behavior affect their interactions.

Yet, she knows it has especially with the current headlines that are ripping through Charming. She knows without a doubt her father and her grandpa and uncles are involved in it. She knows that she should feel something in having that knowledge, but she doesn't.

"Yeah, I think my parents will like it." She tells him. "If it comes out alright."

"Realism is your strong suit. Don't doubt yourself. Besides if at first you don't succeed try again." He tells her with a smile.

Addie manages one back as she looks down at her sketch. She thinks she realizes why she likes it so much is because there was a similar photo of her and her dad. At a time, she used to be able to find comfort in her dad's arms like AJ does now.

Despite her and her dad being on good terms, they still have this distance between them. She isn't able to find solace in his arms like her brothers, who hugged their dad every chance they get.

But she can't. She won't.

"So how are your parents?" He asks her.

"Good, I guess. I mean I know better than to knock on their door when it's shut." She tells her art tutor as it was the truth. Addie is sure that a new Teller will be making an appearance soon. Noah was unsure and the two even betted on it. It's a bet she is sure that she will win. However, Noah made a good point that it wouldn't make sense for AJ to not be the baby of the house.

"Should you know about that?" Leo asks her awkwardly.

Addie rolls her eyes. Even if she shouldn't, she does read. In spite of her mom being vigilant in practically everything she is involved in, her mom doesn't filter the books she reads too badly. Plus there were her uncles.

"Have you met my Uncle Tig?" She quips.

"No, I haven't actually. I thought your dad's brother passed away."

Addie's spine stiffens at the mention of her Uncle Thomas, her blood uncle that she would never get to meet, an uncle that she was has outlived. "Uncle Tig isn't my uncle by blood." She responds simply.

"He's part of your dad's club?"

"Yeah."

"Are you around them a lot?"

Addie shrugs her shoulders. "They're family. So I guess. I mean, I see my grandma and grandpa almost every day." As much as Addie loves her grandma, she is an overbearing woman. However, she also knows how protective and fierce she is. She remembers when her grandma had dropped her and Noah off to school once and threatened to shove a coffee up someone's behind for honking at her when she was helping them out the car. Better yet, now since her dad is home it's fun watching her grandma get on him about everything under the sun.

"Your dad's mom and dad?"

"Yeah, but Grandpa is really Daddy's step-dad. My other grandpa passed away long before I was even thought off." She tells him. After all, Addie is pretty sure this is all common knowledge about her family.

"Is that what your mom and dad tell you?"

"No, Pappy does."

"Who's that?"

"Uncle Ope's dad, Piney."

"Got yourself a big family." He comments. "What about your mom's family?"

"What about them?" Addie asks with an edge to her voice.

"You don't see them?"

Addie shakes her head stiffly.

"At all."

"Is that a problem?"

The question takes him back. "Well…no…I just never hear you speak about them."

"Obviously there is a reason for that." She tells him tightly. "Now can I get back to work?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

...

Locking her gate back up in the garage, Addie is surprised to see that her mom and dad both aren't home even more that their grandma's SUV isn't in the driveway either. Entering the house, it's surprisingly isn't in chaos. Instead, AJ is in the living room playing their PS4. Depositing her art stuff in her room, she heads towards Noah's room where she finds him playing on their shared tablet.

"Hey," she greets from the door.

Noah smiles at her and sometimes it really unnerves her how much Noah does look like their mom. "Hey, sis, how was your art session?"

Addie enters his room further, which is decorated with various sport posters and his trophies, and sits on the edge of his bed. "It was fine. Where's Mom and Dad?"

"Mom had to run to the store real quick. And Dad is probably at the clubhouse." He tells her.

Addie nods her head. Despite Noah being 11 going on 12 and her 10 going on 11, their mom still doesn't trust her or Noah to baby sit AJ for a long period of time.

"Something wrong?" He asks her quietly.

Addie looks at her older brother and sighs. Despite some days the two of them could argue like crazy and even when AJ makes it his life's mission to torment her, she loves her brothers. She knows she is also extremely protective over them as well.

Yet, with AJ being the baby of the family, she and Noah had a strong bond that grows stronger every day as they age. Even though she has Ellie, Noah is her best friend. Addie knows that she can go to her brother for anything and he would also let her rant about everything including her angry feelings about their dad.

"Does it bother you what people say about us?" She asks him quietly.

Noah looks at her with his ocean blue eyes and he rubs his chin, something she has seen her dad do so many times when asked a question that has multiple answers. "It doesn't, but it does. Like I get upset when they say things about Mom more than anything, if that makes sense."

Addie nods her head because it does.

She thinks it has to do with the fact for five years all they had was their mother. Despite the exhaustion and stress of raising three of them, her mom was like Wonder Woman. With their dad gone they got to see the flaws in him. Not like their mom didn't have any, but it was just different. It was their mom who was doing everything she can to keep their family together and happy.

Addie also knows that what people say about her mom isn't true, but she finds that its unfair that her mom is the one that is mostly targeted than her dad.

"Why you hear anything?" Noah asks.

Addie shakes her head. "Mr. Graves was just asking about our family. Mentioned Uncle Thomas…and mom's side of the family."

"Seems to be asking a lot of questions." Noah points out. Addie nods her head and it is unsaid between the two of them that if their dad got wind of it, it won't be pretty for Leo.

"It's just that don't you think about Mom's mom and dad?"

"Not really," Noah tells her truthfully. "They don't seem like nice people, Ads. I mean they kicked Aunt Lena out their house for being gay!"

"I know that…I just worry about Mom."

"Why?"

"I just do." Addie says and she thinks she isn't able to explain it.

Noah isn't able to question her further as AJ walks into the room asking for help with his game.

* * *

Following his informative day, Jax had arrived home and quickly took a shower. After a quick shower followed by some bonding time with his kids, Jax is glad to finally strip down to his boxers and lay in bed with his wife. He slides into bed and considering Noelle is up reading some craft magazine, his head finds a home on his wife's lap. He sighs contently when she begins to run her fingers through his rapidly growing hair.

"Rough day?" She questions.

"Depends on how you look at it," he tells her.

"Do I want to know?"

"Mayans are trying to move into Lodi again. Apparently, it wasn't just them that torched the warehouse, but some puppet MC, the Calaveras. We tracked down the President apparently the Mayans are using them for a bag and cut operation." He tells her.

"Well the Mayans would've had to know it wouldn't work considering there is a no drugs policy in Charming and the explosion only brought the spotlight on them." Noelle tells him.

Jax nods his head in agreement. "Well instead of killing the man, I decided we could use it as a negotiating tool. Possibly to expand our customer base."

"Just be careful, baby."

"Always am." He tells her. "So what did Hale say to you?"

"Ugh, I thought you forgot about that." She teases lightly. "But he just said that he knows the warehouse was owned by a dummy corporation and the usual I'm always watching spiel. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to find some way to bring the Feds to town." Noelle warns him.

Jax honestly doesn't expect anything less from Captain America. Plus, he decides he is done speaking on club business, "So should I be worried about this doctor's appointment?"

"No, baby, just a routine checkup. It should go smoothly." She assures him.

"You ever think about having more?" He asks quietly.

"More what? _Kids_?"

Jax nods his head.

"Are you serious?" She asks in disbelief.

Jax leans up from her lap and looks at her shyly. "I'm just asking."

"Jax, I think we're complete with the three we have."

"So no more?"

"Do you want more?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I wouldn't be opposed to the idea."

"I don't know, Jax." Noelle says hesitantly. "I don't think a baby is a best thing for us right now especially with you being fresh out of jail."

Jax nods his head. It's not like he is dying for more kids, but for some reason he misses the sight of Noelle swollen with his child. He feels he just needs that right now.

Noelle cups his face, "Hey, we can revisit this topic in about a year, okay?"

"Okay, darlin'."

* * *

It's been five years since Jax has been in St. Thomas and he finds himself filled with anxiety. When AJ was born, he and Noelle had practically lived at this hospital. As he looks at his five year old son, it's hard to believe he was once a tiny baby that could fit in the palm of his hand and hooked up to a bunch of machines to keep him alive.

He remembers all the surgeries to fix his heart and then the scare when he had gotten a murmur and they had to correct that. Then he was born with a hole in his belly. And Jax thought he would lose his son like his mother lost Thomas.

But now his son was thriving and all smiles with his missing baby teeth.

"Dad, everything is fine," AJ says from where he sits on the exam table as they wait for Dr. Namid.

Jax smiles at his son.

A knock comes from the door and Jax watches as Dr. Namid comes through, but he nearly falls out of his chair at the sight of the other doctor that comes through as well.

Tara Knowles.

* * *

Tara feels embarrassed that she has returned to Charming. After leaving the backwater town, she had never looked back. She had accomplished her dreams and was now a rising Neo-Natal Pediatric surgeon. Something she knows that she wouldn't have achieved if she had stayed in Charming or even kept all her ties in them. She remembers how people looked at her. All of them looked at her with pity because of her drunken daddy, dead mother, and then for getting herself involved with the club. But she surprised them all by being able to break away. For seeing how toxic this town could be.

This town only contained bitter memories that she didn't see the importance of revisiting. Well now she was lying to herself. There were some memories she visited on pathetic, lonely nights. There were some regrets or more accurately a regret.

And now with her father on his deathbed, it had her rethinking of what she wanted her last memories to be of someone. And she needed a break from Chicago.

As she is still in her fellowship, she is glad that St. Thomas was willing to take her on until she handled things with her father. She knows that her being a former resident played a big part, but a small hospital like this would be stupid to pass her up with her level of skill even if it's temporary.

But she is grateful especially to Dr. Namid, who has taken her under his wing.

So she didn't think anything of it when he had asked her to be a consultant. It wasn't a surgery, but just the chance to study a patient.

She can hear the boy presumably talking to a parent and she follows Dr. Namid blindly as he walks into exam room and her heart nearly jumps out of her chest when she sees Jax Teller and his doppelgänger – his son.

She looks down at the file Dr. Namid had dropped in her arms after a surgery and didn't get a proper look at.

 _Alexander Jameson Teller_

Jax had a son!

Before she can properly read the file, more importantly figure out the mother, Dr. Namid is already introducing them.

"Mr. Teller, AJ, this is Dr. Tara –"

"Knowles," Jax finishes with a smile. God, she remembers that smile. It was his weapon that had always easily disarmed everyone especially the ladies.

"Oh yeah, I forget how small Charming is," Dr. Namid says with a small chuckle. He's oblivious to the exact history the two shared. "I hope you don't mind that I asked Dr. Knowles to sit in. She is currently doing a fellowship and I want her to get the best experience she can."

"I think you should ask Little Man here," Jax says as he nods to his son.

"It's fine." The little boy says and throws her a smile. The same smile his father has and Tara thinks she is going through a sensory overload. In the deepest parts of her mind, she had envisioned that one day she and Jax would've had their own children. In her teenage fantasy they did have a house full of babies and were happily married.

And she knew when she was coming back that Jax had probably moved on. She had braced herself for it, but to see it made it real.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Knowles. I'm AJ."

Tara flashes her doctor smile that she has reserved for kids at the precious boy, "Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you too."

...

This doctor's appointment turns out to be the longest of her life. She is surprised that she was able to listen as Dr. Namid explained to Jax everything going on with his son. From the way Jax asked a question every two seconds, Tara guesses that Jax isn't the usual one that takes his son to the doctor's. Her mind wonders if Gemma has taken over that role. But as Tara observes Jax who is more muscular than she ever remembers being, and his hair shaved, but seems to be growing, she spots the wedding band on his left hand.

Then there were the new tattoos. She spots a name _Addison_ that runs along his left forearm and she wonders if it is his wife or maybe a daughter. Then in elegant script on his neck with a set of red ruby lips is the name _Noelle_.

And it hits her. She remembers there only being one Noelle in all of Charming. It was that pretty blonde cheerleader with the red lips that had moved to Charming when she and Jax were in high school. The same girl that Jax had no problem in openly checking out despite them being together or even standing right next to him. The same girl that Jax had assured her he wasn't fooling around with during their hour long study session he had attended studiously.

And now they were married with apparently two kids.

Tara wants to leave the room as soon as possible, but Jax calls her back after they schedule AJ's next one.

She swallows the lump in her throat as she looks at the man she once loved. Who is she fooling; she knows that she still loves him.

Jax gives her a sheepish smile and she watches as his ring covered hands holds his son's shoulders. "I wanted to say congratulations on becoming a fancy doctor." Jax tells her.

She gives him a strained smile, "Thank you. I still have a year or two before I make it official and I'll actually be a surgeon."

"So you're going to work on kids like me?" AJ asks from his place not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

Tara smiles at him. "Yep."

"Cool."

Tara looks back up at Jax, "So I guess I should give congratulations of my own on the family. Is AJ the only one?"

"No, AJ here is the youngest." Jax says as he ruffles the boy's hair, which earns him a glare. "I got two more. A boy and a girl."

Tara's stomach twists at that more than it should. Before she can ask about the mother, Jax beats her to it.

"Been married for ten years. Remember Noelle from school?"

"Yeah everyone called her Red for the lipstick."

"You knew my mom in school?" AJ asks.

"Yeah, we didn't have any classes though."

Jax goes to open his mouth, but Tara's name is called over the loud speaker.

"I have to go, but it was nice seeing you Jax."

* * *

After Tara's unexpected return, with his day free, Jax had taken AJ out for some ice cream and then let him run loose at the park.

All while he contemplated on how to tell his wife about Tara.

He remembers high school and how Tara hated Noelle. He would like to think after almost 13 years that those feelings don't exist anymore. Noelle never had a problem with Tara, but he thinks his history with Tara bothers her more than anything.

But he just knows that Noelle will be bothered by it. So to bite the bullet, Jax decides to effectively use his son to deliver the news. Arriving back home, Noelle is already there sitting in the living room folding laundry.

"Hey, baby," he hears from the living room after AJ rushes in. "How was your doctor appointment?"

"Good. I got a new doctor!"

"Did you?" Noelle says surprised as she looks between him and AJ. "What's their name?"

"Dr. Tara."

Noelle's brows wrinkle and she looks at him for help.

"It's Tara."

"Knowles?"

Jax nods his head and he watches as his wife processes the news before she turns back at their son with a fake smile, "Well then what did you and daddy do after your appointment?"


	11. Love Love Love

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** As usual thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. I'm glad you are enjoying this story still. I actually have one more chapter to actually write and I know it will take me forever as it usually does lol. But I'm sort of glad as I can turn my attention to new stories to write. Although I can say that the next story outside of "The Pull" will be "Wandering Romance", which I plan to have posted as soon as this is complete.

until then.

* * *

Gemma watches her daughter in law prep some food for the family dinner.

Noelle has been her usual self; nothing seems out of the ordinary. Noelle is dressed in her casual clothes of skin tight jeans and a fitted t-shirt. Her blonde hair is up in a high ballerina bun and of course she is rocking her signature red lips. Despite the simplicity of the outfit, Noelle pulls it off as if she is walking a runway.

However no one has Gemma's eyes. Despite the outfit and her overall demeanor she knows Noelle is bothered by a recent arrival in Charming.

Everyone knew about Jax and Tara's _toxic_ relationship. Gemma had to bail the two of them out of lockup lots of times for incidents of public intoxication or indecent exposure. Now, Gemma understood how love could make someone crazy, she did. She understood teenage hormones as well. And she would prefer her son went through a hormone fueled infatuation while he was still a young teenager before he became a patch.

Despite all of that, it didn't erase the fact what Jax and Tara had was unhealthy.

Even more so when Noelle came into the picture when they were in high school, Gemma still remembers the day her son had handed her a note from his teachers saying that due to his low grades he was being assigned a tutor.

Sadly, Gemma didn't give a shit one way or another. She and Clay had already let Jax have the option of dropping out to get his GED as he had plans just to start Prospecting when he turned 18. Besides, the topic was in science and considering Tara had big plans on becoming a surgeon, he could've gone to her for help.

Yet what shocked Gemma was that instead of blowing off his tutor, he had attended _every_ session much to the irritation of Tara. Gemma remembers how in a fit of a teenage rage Tara had unloaded to her about the busty blonde cheerleader with wavy hair and red lipstick. How she just knew that Noelle and Jax possibly had something. Gemma called horse shit on that considering her son wasn't stupid. If he was getting ass, he would make sure it was outside of Charming or he and Tara were on one of their numerous breaks to fool around. But at the time, Gemma knew that Noelle Harper was a beautiful girl. A beautiful girl with tan skin and model legs, blonde hair always styled in lose curls. And of course, her pouty lips were always painted red.

She could see why Tara would be jealous. Tara was a soft classic beauty with dark features, but pale skin. Noelle was her opposite.

She thinks that's why Jax and Noelle work as a couple today.

And despite her and Noelle's rocky beginning, she always liked her. After all, Noelle stuck around. She found a balance that worked for her and Jax. She never pulled Jax in 10 directions.

It wasn't as if Gemma didn't like Tara. She honestly fully supported the girl wanted to becoming some high end surgeon. She just didn't forgive the girl for hurting her baby. Gemma knew the relationship wasn't going to last, but she still didn't like seeing her baby boy all tore up. She felt Tara could've handled the split better than she did. After all, she had decided to become Jax's Old Lady and take on those responsibilities.

Gemma washes her hands at her sink and dries them off with a towel as she approaches her daughter in law, "I hear the Good Doctor is back in town."

"She's a surgeon actually," Noelle replies without missing a beat.

The corner of Gemma's lips tug up, "You okay with her being AJ's doctor."

"She's not his doctor." Noelle tells her. "She's Dr. Namid's assist."

"And why exactly is AJ going back for observations?"

Noelle sighs and turns to look at her. "Can you ask what you really want to ask?"

"I just want to know how you feel about her being back."

"Do you think I should be feeling anything?" Noelle asks her.

Gemma shakes her head. "No, baby, I just want to make sure you know that."

…

Jax is sitting outside watching Noah and Kenny play against their sisters in corn hole while AJ, of course, is scorekeeper. Tig and Happy have a bet against Piney and Bobby that the boys will win. So far, Jax thinks his daughter and niece are going to win.

He is sipping on his beer watching as Noah and Kenny bicker over their aim when Opie comes and joins him.

"I heard an old flame is back in town." Opie says to him.

Jax rolls his eyes as he sighs. Somehow it had spread rapidly about Tara being back in town. He was confused on how she had been in town for a couple weeks apparently before AJ's appointment that she was able to keep it under wraps.

He didn't see the big deal. Tara was back. That was that. He didn't see the need to linger on it or dissect why. His only surprise about it was that she cared enough about her dad to return.

"Nothing to say?" Opie eggs.

"Not really." Jax says truthfully. "I'm glad she's doing good in her life. She achieved her dream."

Jax is happy for Tara. He knows he wasn't supportive of her when they were teens. Truthfully, he didn't know how to be supportive of her. He could laugh as he thought college and Tara leaving for it was a scary thing to him when barely two years later he would enter fatherhood, which was terrifying on it's own.

However, with everyone making a fuss about his ex-girlfriend, he knows someone is bothered by her appearance. "I know Noelle is bothered by it." He reveals to Opie.

"Can you blame her?"

"She shouldn't be." Jax says. Jax wouldn't risk what he has for what he had. Even then Tara and he were just high school boyfriend and girlfriend. When he thinks about those years with her, he feels embarrassed at how crazy they were.

"Jax, you should've seen how you and Tara were from our perspective." Opie says.

"It was first love bullshit," Jax replies.

"Yeah, crazy first love bullshit you still were moping over when you began messing around with Noelle." Opie points out.

"I haven't thought about Tara since she left."

"You tell Noelle that?"

"I didn't think I had too."

…

After coming back from his mom's family dinner and wrangles his youngest into bed, Jax stands in the doorway of his bedroom as he watches Noelle comb her wet hair.

She's in one of her skimpy bathrobes and skin still pink from the shower. With her face free from makeup, he knows that without a doubt, Noelle is the most beautiful woman in all of Charming – in the fucking world.

"You're beautiful, Noelle." He tells her.

Noelle looks at him through her vanity mirror and gives him a bashful smile as she places down her comb and turns to face him. "So what do you want?" She teases.

Jax removes himself from the doorway and shuts the door before he makes his way over to Noelle and pulls her up. "I can't just tell my wife she's beautiful."

"You don't need to butter me up to get some ass."

Jax raises his eyebrow at that. "And here I was trying to sound like a romantic husband."

"I was never one for fairytales."

Jax smiles before he places both of his hands on her face and gives her a deep kiss. She kisses back gently, her hand sneaking up his neck into his growing hair. He thinks he could kiss Noelle all day. No other girl had ever been able to reduce him to nothing through a kiss alone except his wife. And it wasn't just the years together that attributed to learning their bodies in a way no one else ever could.

Since they shared their first kiss in the Public Library where she was secretly helping him study for his GED. It was in the Shakespeare aisle and he remembers the tight jeans she was wearing with an oversized plaid shirt over a crop top. He had been chasing her relentlessly. She never gave into his flirtations. Only would rolls her eyes and smile before bringing him back on task. But he had decided he had enough and after watching her flirt with the library aid every week, he needed to make his move. He remembers thinking that Noelle was going to slap him as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, but instead she responded back gently at first before she nipped his lip and he found himself pushing her back against the rack.

And now it's still the same rush of feelings as he walks backwards and sits on the edge of the bed as Noelle straddles him.

Her kiss becomes more insistent as she slips them under his shirt and runs her hands along his spinal column. He hands cups her buttocks and squeezes them as he pulls her forward earning a gasp from her.

He tugs down her robe and it catches on her arms leaving them trapped behind her.

His hands cup her breasts and with one hand he reaches behind her and tugs on the robe which causes her back to arch as it tightens on her arms.

He presses a kiss between her breasts on the head of his crow before he nips and plays with her breasts. He settles on one as he draws out the nipple and slides his tongue over her skin.

He can feel through his jeans how wet and hot she is. And he knows she is desperate for release – for friction as she tries to rub against him.

"Let me touch you," she whispers as he kisses across her shoulders and neck.

He pulls her down for a kiss as he unties her robe and lets it fall freely from her body.

With her hands free, she roams his body. She lifts up his shirt and throws it across the room. She begins kissing him along his neck as she works to undo his belt and jeans. His hand slides between her legs and he groans as he feels her wetness. He lifts her up as he shimmies his jeans and boxers down and he has barely sat down when he feels Noelle's hands take him and guides him as she lowers herself down on him.

"Jax," she hisses as she fully descends on him.

He kisses her roughly as she grounds into his him and rotates her hips.

He gasps as she begins to move up and down.

He slides down from his upright position and reclines on the bed. Noelle follows him as she kisses his neck and chest, licks pattern in his skin, and ravishes his nipples as he did hers making him squirm as he continues to move inside her.

Using her own power and his chest as leverage, Noelle sits up completely as she moves up and down. He bucks his hips up to meet hers. His hands grasp her breasts before running over her hips.

"Touch yourself, Noe."

She looks down at him with those fucking hooded eyes that look as dark as sapphires. He watches as she gives him a filthy smirk and her hands tweak her nipples before they trail down to where they are joined and begins rubbing her sensitive nub.

Jax bites his lip as she begins gasping and moaning at her insistent touches.

"I'm so close," she pants as she begins losing her rhythm.

Soon, she is arching her back, "Fuck, Jackson." Her head lolls on her shoulders as pleasure crashed her body.

Jax accelerates as his grip becomes tighter.

He closes his eyes as he tries not to unravel from Noelle's waves washing over him. He feels her stop for a moment before she begins to grind down on him. His eyes snap open as she rotates her hips and soon it's his own back that is arching as he grunts under the assault. He begins to thrust furiously as she gives him back control before his body shudders as he gives in.

He pulls her down as he presses a deep kiss to her lips and holds her. He runs his fingers along her back as she rests her head on his chest – heartbeat.

"I love you, Noe." He tells her.

He knows that he should breach Tara being back in Charming, but he can't. He thinks he doesn't want to acknowledge that somehow the ghost of Tara has invaded his home.

Noelle turns her head up and those sapphire lust fueled eyes has turned back to her ocean blue. "I love you more."

…

Against her dignity and common sense, Tara has decided to throw her self-preservation at the window as she stands in front of the quaint shop on the corner of Main Street.

Going against her good judgement, Tara couldn't help but do some research on Charming and certain people. Besides it wasn't that hard getting basic information considering she had a starting point at the hospital. She thought it was a little too easy too.

She knows that she can't be upset. She had left. She broke things between them with her hasty and angry departure. She was the one that didn't at least even try to make amends. Although in the back of her mind she knew that Jax wasn't the long distance type. It's just she can't help but feel devastated that barely in a year of her departure that he had begun creating a family. It wasn't as if he had multiple baby mamas, but he had one. He had a wife that wasn't her.

He had two sons and a daughter with a woman that wasn't her.

When she was young and stupidly in love with him she had always thought that one day they would find their way back to each other. They would be married with three babies. However, she knew it would never happen as Jax would never leave Charming.

She can't help that immature jealous heat that floods her being at the thought of Noelle Harper. Tara knows now that it was childish with the way she had acted towards the pretty blonde, but Tara remembers how Jax was towards her.

The smiles and how he would seek her out for conversations. The fact he would attend an hour long study session, but ditch his next class rubbed her the wrong way.

She thinks if it was one of the usual grubby whores that vied for Jax's attention she wouldn't have minded because the only thing they had to offer was a worm wet hole, but Noelle wasn't that. She could keep Jax's attention. She had brains and beauty and didn't have the whole tragic backstory of a dead mother and drunk daddy.

And Noelle was beautiful and compared to her, Tara felt plain.

Noelle was someone you would find in Maxim or Victoria Secrets. Tara wasn't. Sure she had a nice ass and soft features, but Noelle had the whole package that was a rare find in Charming.

Worst of all, she knows that Jax's and Noelle's marriage was happy. They wouldn't survive a five year prison sentence and three kids if they weren't.

She thinks that's worst. Jax has a life. He has his club, his wife and kids. Tara no matter how proud and happy she is as a surgeon that's all she has is a fancy paper to her name.

Sucking in a deep breath, Tara enters the store.

Besides, the nurses did recommend this store for some good hand creams after using the harsh antibacterial soap at work.

Tara hates to admit it, but the store is lovely inside as it smells faintly of oranges. The store is packed with a variety of products and a sale for leftover Fourth of July themed products. Tara walks over to the hand creams where she can hear people talking near the cash register.

Leaning back, Tara at first sees a young girl with curly brown hair smiling, and she just knows that little girl is Jax's daughter. She knows that smile as it was a rare one that Jax would give when he was truly happy. Now his little girl possesses it.

Then her stomach drops as a person passes the little girl and moves from behind the counter and Tara panics as the person is moving towards her.

Tara swallows the lump in her throat as she knows it's Noelle and Tara turns towards her with a smile.

Clearly Noelle has spent a lot of time around Gemma as Noelle doesn't give any indication of surprise. And Tara can't believe she forgot about Gemma. She only imagines how happy she is that now she has three grandchildren to try and control.

"Dr. Knowles, I heard you were back in town," Noelle greets with a smile with her famous painted red lips.

"Please, just Tara," she corrects as she gets a good look at Noelle. The mother of three still looks the same even with giving birth as she pulls off the loose fitted black t-shirt and jeans rolled to the ankles with white Converses. The surgeon hates that she still sounds like a jealous teenager, but even Noelle's long blonde hair is styled to perfection and Tara is here still standing in scrubs and a bun that is slowly coming undone.

"Well, Tara, how can I help you today?" Noelle asks her.

"Some nurses at St. Thomas recommended some products for me to try." Tara tells her.

Noelle smiles brightly, "Yeah, a few of them have a standing order that they get. I can get you the same thing, if you want?"

"Uh, yeah sure that's fine."

"Great. Is there any particular fragrance you like we have lavender, sandalwood, chamomile, rose, vanilla, jasmine, lilac, orange, rosemary, lemon, peppermint, and cinnamon."

"Wow that's a lot," Tara says with a chuckle. "Can I try lemon?"

"Of course. Is there anything else you were looking for?"

"No, just browsing."

"Alright, well I'm going to fix up your order and I'll have it ready for you in the front." Noelle tells her. "By the way, congratulations on the degree."

"Thank you." Tara tells her.

After deciding to buy a candle, Tara makes her way to the front of the store where Noelle stands next to the girl she presumes is her daughter.

The girl smiles at her brightly, but with a knowing twinkle in her eye that is all Gemma. Tara assumes that the little girl knows who she is.

"Hi, I'm Addie," the girl greets brightly as Tara places her candle on the counter.

"Hi, I'm Tara –"

"AJ's doctor," the girl finishes.

"Addie, it's not nice to interrupt," Noelle corrects softly as she begins checking the items out. "Do you find everything you need?"

"Yeah. It's really a lovely store, Noelle."

"Thank you, Tara."

"It's her other baby." Addie adds, which causes Noelle to roll her eyes.

"Are you the oldest?" Tara asks softly after she pays for her things.

"No, I was the second surprise," Addie says with a cackle as Noelle nudges her.

"Ignore her," Noelle says. "Addison is the middle child. She has an older brother, Noah, and you've met my youngest, AJ."

"You and Jax must be happy."

Noelle nods and a smile comes across her face that makes Tara's guts twist. "Who would've guessed, huh?"

"The heart wants what the heart wants." Tara says. "Well, it's been nice seeing you. I'll see you around."

"Yeah, have a good day."

Tara departs with one last smile.

Tara may not have her own family yet, but at least she rose above this backwater town.

…

Addie watches as Tara Knowles leaves her mother's store and Addie can say she wasn't what she expected. She had of course seen pictures of Tara as her grandmother had some stashed away from sight.

She can say that her mom and this woman do seem to be the complete opposite of each other.

"So that's Tara?" Addie asks her mom.

"Yep."

"She seems a little uptight."

Noelle sighs. "You spend way too much time with your grandmother."

Addie doesn't respond to her mom's comment. "So she hated you in high school right?"

"What? Where did you hear that from?"

"Ugh…"

" _Addison_."

"I may have overheard Grandma and Luann talking."

Noelle rubs her forehead. "How about you call your Dad and figure out what we want for dinner."

"How about we get Italian? Dad eats anything anyways."

"Fine, just find a menu and make the order."

…

"So from our lovely Sheriff we have some visitors in town." Clay informs the table, which has the whole table groaning.

"He say how Hale got them here?" Jax asks as he lights a cigarette.

"No. He and Hale though have been butt buddies since he step into town." Clay says.

"There is only one?" Jax questions with a furrow brow. In all the scares the club has had with the ATF they never sent just one Agent to dig up dirt. They came with a whole team to bully people into ratting.

Clay nods his head.

"Must not be that strong of a case." Bobby chimes in.

"Yeah, but nothing is useless when it comes to RICO." Piney says from his end of the table. "And we don't need Feds on our backs while we deal with the Mayans."

"Speaking of the Mayans, we let that piece of shit Hector go, so what's the follow up?" Tig asks.

"We called the Grim Bastards and asked them to do some digging so we're waiting to hear back. Beside now with the Feds in town, it's best they do some digging while we look like just a bunch of Harley enthusiasts and mechanics." Clay says. "After all, I have a son that is intent on making me another grandchild."

"You better not let Noelle hear you say that shit," Jax says over the guys' roars of laughter.

…

After a fulfilling dinner, Jax is already decked in his boxers as he lays across the bed as he watches his wife get ready for bed. She slips on a grey knit cami along with some itty bitty shorts he doesn't understand the use of.

"Darlin', you should just cut out the middle man." He tells her as she slides them up covering her simple cotton bikini panties.

She rolls her eyes at him before she joins him in bed. He expects her to come into his waiting arms, but she stays on her side and sits Indian style. He knows that means she wants to talk about something. "So I'm surprised Addie didn't say anything at the dinner table today."

"What didn't she say?"

Noelle sighs and plays with the tips of her hair, "Tara came by the shop today."

"How'd that go?"

"I think she was sizing me up." Noelle tells him truthfully.

Jax raises an eyebrow at that. He's not surprised, but is. The Tara he knew –used to date – would've done something like that. He thought however that a Tara who has been away for 11 years, who left him, wouldn't do something like that.

"Well did you show her your nice big wedding ring? I'm still making payments on that thing." Jax jokes as he dodges a punch from Noelle. "Well it must've gone good considering Unser wasn't called."

Noelle rolls her eyes. "I'm not going to fight your ex-girlfriend, Jax."

"Don't expect you too." He says as he looks at his wife. He knows she is holding back from him. "Talk to me, babe."

Noelle looks at him then shakes her head. "I love you, Jax, I do. It's just everyone knows about your history with her."

Jax sighs. "I was a kid then, Noe."

"So were we." Noelle counters. "You loved her, Jax. You learned to love me."

"Jesus, Noe, you make us sound like we're in an arranged marriage." Jax says as he sits up on the bed now. He is shocked that these words are even coming out of his wife right now. He is boggled that after 10 years of marriage she would even have these types of thoughts.

"I'm not stupid. I know the kids were the driving factor why we're married."

"Noe, stop." Jax demands. He folds his hands together as if he is saying a prayer. He looks back at his beautiful wife trying to figure out where he went wrong that she would still feel the need to be insecure about their relationship because of an old girlfriend.

"I married you because I _love_ you." He starts. "I loved Tara, yes. But I loved her when I was 16." Jax tells Noelle. "The last time I thought about Tara was after you gave birth to Noah." He reveals to his wife.

"The only reason I thought of her was to thank her for leaving because then I wouldn't have got to be a father to my son. I wouldn't have gotten to be with you. With you in the hospital bed, hair in a high bun, sweaty with tears lining your cheeks, as you fed our son," Jax gets choked up as he thinks back to Noah's birth. There were times during the pregnancy he thought he had resented Noelle for being pregnant.

In the darkest part of him there was some bitterness that instead of enjoying a bachelor life as a new patch he would be changing shitty diapers. Yet, it wasn't as if Noelle had given him an ultimatum. The only thing she did was tell him that she was pregnant and that her sister had offered her a place to live as Noelle knew when she told her parents they would kick her out. Jax had taken it upon himself to find them a place to live. He was the one to insist on her living with him. Even then it wasn't as if they were together. They shared a bed and sometimes they would seek comfort from each other, but Noelle never said anything about a relationship. Never asked him to be anything except a father to their son. It wasn't until Noah was born that he realized he didn't want to lose what he had. "When you handed me Noah, placed him in my arms, for the first time, I loved you. That's when I knew and I hadn't spent a single moment thinking about Tara or any other women since you made me a father. And I knew I wanted you to be my wife, my old lady, and the only mother to my kids. "

Jax pulls Noelle into his arms where she is trying to hide her teary gaze. He places his hand under her chin and forces her to look at him. "I know I'm a hard man to love, Noe. The shit I put you through…but I'm selfish and I love you. Even if we didn't have Noah when we did…did you honestly think I was going to let you go out with that library aide?"

A bubble escapes from her throat as she no doubt thinks about the average looking teenager that always seemed to work when they would go and study. Jax wipes away her tears, "I love you more than you'll ever know darlin'."

Jax presses a kiss to her lips that isn't demanding or even wanting. It's a soft, gentle kiss. Pulling back, he doesn't fling her itty bitty sleep wear off, instead he holds her in his arms like he used to do after Noah was born when they would watch him sleep. Both of them bone tired, but enjoying the precious moments of just the two of them managing another day as parents.

But he finds that it isn't enough.

Jax presses a kiss to her shoulder before he captures her lips in a consuming kiss as he flips them so she is laying on the mattress. He's quick in removing her little shorts and thin cami. He hurriedly removes his boxers as Noelle whines and pulls him down for a kiss as he yanks her gray cotton bikinis down her legs. Warm callous digits deep into her folds making her gasp into his mouth. With his thumb petting her clit, he pumps into her in tandem as she bites down on her lip.

He buries his nose in her hair and then kisses along her throat as she pants as her body begins to go lax.

"Jax, please," she begs prompting him to gather her legs over his forearms and pull her down the bed. Guiding his hard length he pushes between her fold to the hilt.

"Oh God," Noelle groans as he finds a steady rhythm. He pounds against her sweet spot that has her keening helplessly as she writhes and gasps beneath him.

Jax fucks her slow and intimate. Noelle moves closer to him, pressing their chests together, meeting his thrusts. She lets out filthy moans as he wreaks havoc on her neck. He sucks hickies on her smooth tan skin before he buries his head in the valley of her breasts and marks more of her flesh with hickies near her crow. Her moves his mouth across her clavicle and to her neck before he meets her lips. "You're mine, Noe." He growls against her lips as his thumb snakes between them.

Noelle whimpers in protest, but a rough snap of his hips makes her cry out. Noelle's eyes roll shut when he throws her leg over his shoulder. "Come for me, darlin'." Jax orders and she can't help but follow his command.

Noelle comes with a cry as her head falls back on the pillows as her eyebrows pinch together. Her eyes close as stars erupt behind her eyelids. She clings to him as he continues his steady pace through her pleasure. His thrusts become erratic as a string of groans, pants, and curses leave his lips. His hand tangles in her blonde hair as he presses his forehead against hers and shudders as he finishes with a satisfied groan filling her with spunk.

Her arms wind around his shoulders and a hand tangles in his damp hair as he collapses on top of her boneless. He nuzzles his nose in her neck as he shifts off her and keeps an arm curled around her waist.

Noelle is spent and exhausted as her hands wander over his tattoos. His hand traces over her hip and across her abdomen, "I love you, Noelle."

"I love you, Jackson."

…

Gemma wasn't one to complain or take for granted when one of her grandchildren wanted to spend time with her. So when Addie had called wanted to go on a shopping trip, Gemma didn't object. She had left Clay with a hot pot of oatmeal and had quickly gone to her son's to pick up her only granddaughter.

However, Gemma knows her granddaughter like all her babies.

There was a reason as to why Addie wanted some one on one time.

So after trying on multiple outfits and shoes, the two of them are back in the car currently looking for someplace to eat. Gemma knows now is a good time as any to question her granddaughter's motive.

"Now not that I don't love spending time with you, but can I ask what prompted this shopping spree?" Gemma asks as she lights a cigarette.

And Addie doesn't bullshit either. She gets straight to the point. "What can you tell me about Tara Knowles?"

Gemma almost chokes on cigarette smoke at that question. She knows that she shouldn't be surprised by the question, but she is. She is concerned however as to why Addie would be asking about her dad's ex-girlfriend.

"What do you want to know?" Gemma asks.

"What was she like?"

Gemma sighs. "She was a smart girl. Quiet."

"And Dad loved her?"

Gemma nods her head, but she can't hide the wince at that question. "It wasn't a healthy relationship though. Why the sudden interest?"

"Well she's AJ doctor or whatever and she came by Mom's store."

"She _what_!" Gemma can't believe that devious bitch. The fucking nerve. Gemma can see right through that shit, Miss Tara Knowles here was trying to size up her daughter in law. Gemma knew without a doubt that uptight gash was probably feeling some regret over leaving Jax. Tara had to see for herself that Jax didn't mope for ten years hoping she would fucking return.

Gemma snorts at that as she hopes Tara got a big slap in the face as she seen Noelle and the three beautiful babies Jax had with her.

But Gemma wasn't going to let that shit slide. She knows Jax and Noelle are solid, but they don't need the Good Doctor here trying to mess with them. They don't need any Ghost of Christmas past. So like Gemma always does she is going to make sure her family is protected.

"Grandma, are you okay?" Addie asks concerned.

"Yeah, baby. Does your Dad know about this?"

Addie shrugs her shoulders. "I think Mom would tell him. They tell each other everything."

"Hmm," Gemma says. She knows her son probably loves pillow talk. "What did you think of her?"

"I don't know. She seemed nice enough. Pleasant. Although I don't think she was expecting Mom to still look like she did in high school."

Gemma laughs at that.

"I just don't understand why she would come to the store."

"When you get older you'll understand."

"I highly doubt that." Addie tells her.

…

Later in the day, with Clay still at the clubhouse and Addie, who decided to spend the night, Gemma finds herself restless and goes to grab her hat box as she begins cleaning the multiple guns she owns. It's then an idea pops into her head as she grabs her house phone.

She dials her best friend's phone number who answers quickly.

"Hey, Gem."

"Hey, darlin'. Do me a favor?"

"Sure, babe."

"Guy distributes your stuff- He still have access to that federal marshal?"

"Think so. Been feeding his Pillsbury Dough girl fetish for years." Luann tells her. "What do you need?


	12. Touch

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. And in this chapter, I swear I'm not trying to make Tara seem malicious. I'm aiming for that she of course feels some type of way for Jax and had mentally prepared for him having a life. Yet, it's one of those things of seeing it that makes it real. Especially since he had kids and got married rather quickly after she left. So I hope you guys can see that in the way I'm writing. But I swear, I'm not trying to make Tara seem like she is trying to come between Jax and Noelle because she intentionally isn't. It's just the ripple effects of her actions that may affect them.

Also, all grammar, spelling, punctuation, is on my crappy editing eyes lol.

until then.

* * *

Noelle is getting ready for work in the bathroom when Jax walks in with a serious case of bed hair, as it sticks in all directions, and clad in his boxers. He comes up from behind her and wraps her in a hug.

"Morning," she greets with a soft smile.

"Morning," he replies as he places a kiss on her shoulder. She watches him smirk as his eyes look down her chest where a few of the hickies he gave her are hidden underneath her maxi dress. She nudges him in the side and he only laughs.

"Not funny." She scolds him gently. She looks like a leper honestly.

"You weren't complaining last night."

Noelle glares at him through the mirror and he places a kiss on her neck as an apology before he balances his chin on her shoulder. "You okay?" He asks her more serious and his hold becomes tighter.

Her ocean blue eyes connect with his steely ones. "I am."

He searches her face for any type of doubt in her words, but she turns around and cups his cheek. "I am, Jax." She assures him. "I love you and trust you."

Noelle doesn't trust Tara. She doesn't know why, but she just doesn't. She gets that her father is on his death bed, but just the visit to the store doesn't sit well with Noelle.

Noelle places a kiss to Jax's lips and even though he tries to deepen it and she can feel him stirring against her abdomen, she really needs to leave. She pulls back and wipes some of the gloss on her lips off his lips. "You should pick up Addie from your mom's. Take the kids out for breakfast." She suggests.

"Okay," Jax agrees. "I can meet you for lunch."

Noelle smiles as she wraps her arms around his neck. "Are you asking me on a lunch date or you trying to get a nooner?"

Jax flashes a blinding smile. "We can do both."

Noelle rolls her eyes as she places another kiss on his lips. "I gotta go. I love you."

"Love you too, babe."

* * *

With him being home for almost two months now, his kids have bypassed the walking on eggshells so to speak. Now that they are comfortable with his presence, Jax is seeing the side of the kids that Noelle had to raise by herself. And right now he doesn't know how she didn't lose her goddamn mind raising his wild offspring.

"You two need to knock it off," Jax says he stops Noah and AJ from messing around at the table. Addie isn't any help as she laughs at their antics of eating a weird mixture of spices that are on the table or making loud animal noises. "Do you guys act like this with your mother?" He mumbles to himself.

Addie snorts next to him. "No, they're actually scared to misbehave around Mom."

"So I'm not scary?" He asks with feigned shock.

"No," all his kids reply. Leave it to them to be the only ones not scared by him.

And in the million years, Jax had never thought that this would be him with not only one, but three kids. He had always envisioned him just having a Harley and a kutte, but he also had a family. His children are a beautiful mixture of him and Noelle and these were the days he wishes his dad and Thomas was alive. He wishes his kids and his father and brother could've met them. His wishes his Dad and brother could've been there to see him get married for them to even meet Noelle. He doesn't realize how much he has lost with having his dad and brother gone. Doesn't realize how these smaller moments in the larger threads of his life can have so much meaning.

Those thoughts make his eyes misty.

"You okay, Dad?" AJ asks with eyes that are the same shade as his. But his eyes are so full of innocence and childish joy.

"You know I love you right. So much." He tells his kids.

"We know, Dad." Noah assures with a smile, but worried and confused eyes.

"We love you, too." Addie adds and it takes all his strength not to break down at his little girl's words.

* * *

Gemma isn't surprised that Tara Knowles has some history from her time in Chicago. A piece of history like a restraining order that would have her running back to Charming – to her son – to most likely clean up her dirty work. After all, there wasn't a name on the restraining order and Gemma didn't like the feeling that was churning her gut.

Gemma had never trusted that bitch. She didn't trust her then and she most certainly didn't trust her now.

She thinks that this is a severely low manipulating move of Tara's. How she could possibly think that after eleven years away that Jax would come back and swoop in and save the day. Gemma fights the urge to get in her car and to confront the Good Doctor.

Gemma thanks Luann profusely for the Intel she was able to dig up. However, she nearly has a heart attack as Clay approaches her from behind.

"What are you doing?" Clay asks as he stands in the doorway in the office that leads into the garage.

Clay wasn't one to intervene on what he would label as family business. After all, he had his old lady to handle that shit. It was her niche and it gave him one less thing to worry about. However, considering what he has just heard for the sake of his sanity and possibly his son's he thinks it's a good time to intervene as he knows how his wife can be.

"Just talking to Luann," Gemma replies evenly, but she doesn't manage to look him in the eyes.

"About what?" He probes.

Gemma looks at him unamused. "Since when did you concern yourself with Old Lady business?"

"What you do is _my_ business," Clay replies smoothly as he closes the door and gives them privacy. "Besides I know how you like setting fires when there is nothing to burn."

Gemma looks at him offended. "I don't do that." Clay levels her with an incredulous look. She rolls her eyes and backtracks. "Not all the time."

"What's going on Gem?" He asks his wife.

With clocking in almost 20 years of marriage, his marriage with Gemma has endured a lot over the years. They had weathered through wars, death, and the Feds all of which require a lot of sacrifices and lies. Despite that, his relationship with his wife was the one truth he had and clings too.

He knows despite how strong, beautiful, and resilient his wife is that she has flaws. Like her overbearing and protective nature over her family. He knows his wife means well, but sometimes it's a little too much. He thinks she would learn after the birth of her grandchildren when Jax had to put her into place for her interfering ways and trying to tell Noelle how to raise the babies then helping.

Besides, as a father, he knows he needs to at least warn his son about the shit his mother might be trying to dig up.

Gemma sighs and decides it's best to confide in her husband. "I've done a little digging." Clay raises an eyebrow for her to continue. "On Tara."

"Aw hell, Gem."

"I don't trust her, Clay."

"That's not the point, Gem. Your son is happily married with three kids. That gash is in the rearview mirror!" Hell, even if Clay had his doubts about his son becoming a father and even a husband, he can't deny that Jax and Noelle had a solid fucking marriage. A marriage like that was rare in his outlaw world. His son wasn't stupid to fuck that up. Hell, Clay would fuck him up if he ruined what he and Noelle had. And Clay didn't see the need to be concerned about his ex-gash coming to town. She was nothing but history. If anything Jax moving on so soon after her hasty departure should be a clue to the doctor that it wasn't meant o fucking be.

"I know that." Gemma counters. "it's just I don't want shit hitting my son sideways when it comes to her."

"She doesn't have a kid does she?" Clay asks concerned. Because he knows that Noelle would lose her collective shit if Jax had spawned a child with Tara.

"Hell no!" Gemma says thankful for small mercies.

"You need to drop this, Gem." Clay orders her.

"I haven't done anything." She claims defending herself.

"Yet." Clay adds. "You keep digging and you make it seem that things aren't good at home for Jax. You're making it seem as if Tara is a threat. Noelle doesn't need this shit." None of them need this shit. And he didn't want anything messing up the happiness of his grandchildren.

Gemma looks at him with defiant eyes and concedes. "Alright."

Clay presses a kiss to his wife's forehead. "Did you find anything that we do need to be concerned about?"

Gemma opens her mouth, but their conversation is interrupted by Tig and Chibs holding a bloody and bruised Juice.

"What the hell happened!" Clay barks as he looks at his intelligence officer.

"CL jumped me. Took my kutte."

Clay goes livid and all thoughts on some ex gash leave him as he calls for church immediately.

* * *

"You know I am running a respectable business," Noelle huffs as she pulls her maxi dress back over her head. She's confused on how she was the only one to become fully undressed while Jax lost none of his clothes besides his belt.

Jax chuckles from behind her as he slides his belt back on.

Noelle sends him a glare.

He flashes a bright smile and points to his neck. "Hey, you got your payback." He says indicating to the various love bites she left in her trail.

"Barely," she replies as she feels the love bite he had left on her fucking thigh.

"Just reminding people of who you belong to darlin'." He tells her cheekily.

"Ass. Like that tattoo wasn't enough."

He comes closer to her and his hands cup her flat stomach, "I could think of something else to show people."

Noelle rolls her eyes. "We would have to move into a whole new house if we were seriously going to do this Jax."

"Money isn't an issue, babe."

"I don't care for your money, Jax."

"I know."

"But I told you we would revisit this discussion in a year." She tells him sternly.

"Well I hope you're on some good birth control."

"Thankfully, I learned my lesson and am on the shot. But I would have no problem with you wrapping your shit up." Noelle replies with a smile and chuckles at the pinched look Jax gives her about making him use condoms. "We're still young Jax."

"I know, but I wanted AJ to have someone to play with ya know." He reveals to her. "I was thinking of another boy name him Thomas."

"Jax…" Noelle says at a loss for words. She and Jax had always debated on naming their kids after people that meant the most to them, but never did. Those names carried a history that both were unsure if they wanted their children to be saddled with.

Jax shakes his head. "It's just the five years getting to me."

Noelle cups his face as she looks in his steely blue eyes and as much as she would love to give this to Jax she knows that it isn't the right time for them.

Noelle presses a kiss to his lips and he holds her tight against him before he breaks the kiss and just holds her.

...

Jax places a departing kiss on her lips as he leaves the store and she ignores the pointed look Anna sends her. Noelle thinks she is going to have to stop being such a weak bitch when it comes to Jax after a few well-placed kisses.

Thankfully, as Jax leaves a customer comes through the door and Noelle greets him. It's an older gentleman with salt and pepper nose dressed in casual business attire. Noelle knows that she has never seen this man before.

"Hi, I'm Noelle, can I help you with anything."

He flashes a smile as his eyes roam over her body. She notices however they linger for a long time on her wedding ring.

"I take it you're the owner of the store," he greets.

"Yes, I am. I have to say this is my first time seeing you here."

"Yeah, I'm passing through town. I was thinking about picking up something for my girlfriend. People told me to come here." He tells her.

"Is there anything in particular you're looking for?" She asks the gentlemen.

"Well my girlfriend works with her hands. So maybe a hand cream. Stressful job. She's a doctor."

Noelle nods her head. "Is there a particular scent she likes?" Noelle asks as she leads him to the hand cream.

"She likes Lemon and Chamomile." He tells her.

"Well we have these two products here," she says showing him the jars. "Can I ask what kind of doctor she is?"

"I should say surgeon. She works in Neo-Natal." The man states proudly.

"Oh, does she work in this area?"

"No, she lives in Chicago."

"You're a faraway from home."

"I go where business takes me." He tells her as he sniffs the products.

"Do you make these yourself?"

"Some of them yes."

"Wow. Impressive."

Noelle smiles at him. "Is there anything else you would like?"

"I think I'm going to try this sandalwood for myself. But I should be good."

Noelle nods her head as she leads him to the register and holds out a book. "You don't have too, but we're currently working on a website to do orders. So if you or your girlfriend likes the product enough you can order more and such."

"Sure, no problem."

Anna checks the man out as he fills out the book.

Noelle accepts the book and reads over his info. "I hope you and your girlfriend like the products, Joshua."

"Nice meeting you, Noelle."

* * *

Tara wakes up in a tangle of sheets and flop sweat. She concludes that she is one stupid woman. Coming back to Charming was a mistake. Plain and simple. This was isn't her home and never was. Most of all, she was lying to herself and playing a dangerous game that wouldn't affect her.

It was incredibly naïve of her to even think that Jax wouldn't have moved on. She was incredibly foolish and stupid. She had wallowed in grief of a love she thought she lost when she never really had it. Just stupid.

To top it off, she had exposed herself to humiliation by even going out to see the life Jax had built with Noelle. She should have never gone to Noelle's store. Noelle probably had sensed what was going on after all Noelle was groomed into a lifestyle that was meant to seek out potential threats. Meant to see ulterior motives. Tara was playing a losing game. She was pathetic for even still loving Jax. There was no other way to sugar coat it. It wasn't as if she expected Jax to welcome her back with open arms. She didn't come back expecting anything. It just stung.

But worst of all was seeing Jax with his three children at the diner and he was happy. He didn't even notice her sitting only a few booths away by herself.

He had three beautiful children that she could tell he loved deeply.

She never doubted Jax's capabilities as a father, but to see it up close and personal stung. She knows without a doubt Jax is a great father to those kids. She seen the way they were smiling and laughing with him. How happy they were and Tara realized she was selfish. Just like she had been in high school when it came to Jax. She knows that after the business with her dad is handled she needs to leave Charming.

Run away like she always does.

Taking a quick shower, she looks in the garage where her dad has stored all his junk and decides to distract herself from old memories that sting bitter wounds; she needs a lot of cleaning supplies. Heading out of the house with her keys, she stops in her tracks when she finds pink rose petals scattered across her windshield.

Its instinct that makes her drive to Teller Morrow.

* * *

"Damn man," Opie whistles. "Did Noelle suddenly turn into a vampire?"

Jax gives his friend a lecherous grin. Jax wasn't going to complain when Noelle got a little aggressive in the sack after all considering the havoc he had done to her it was payback. All was fair in love and war.

"Don't you know love bites are teenage shit," Opie teases.

"Considering how hard you're riding me, Donna must have her shit on lock," Jax counters.

Jax laughs at how Opie's face scrunches and dodges the cap to the water Opie is drinking. "Donna's at her parents' for the weekend."

"Ah, so you're lonely. Could always get your dick sucked," Jax tells his best friend as he watches some croweaters tend to Half Sack, who is getting ready for a fight. "That's not cheating."

Jax bites his lip as Opie looks at him like he has grown three heads. "Is that what you tell your wife?"

"Fuck no!" Jax counters. "I rather have Noe grabbing on my dick for other reasons than cramming it down my throat."

Opie laughs and Jax soon joins him.

"You guys are about to go on 11 years man. How does that feel?" Opie asks him.

"Well time fucking flew by fast," Jax tells his friend. "Can't believe we've been married that long. Some days I wonder why she's still with my ass."

"I think we're all wondering about that." Opie teases.

Jax shoots his friend the middle finger.

"I'm glad you're happy, bro."

Their conversation takes a pause as they watch a familiar Cutlass pull up in the parking lot. Jax sighs as he cleans his hands with his dirty rag as the brunette owner exits the vehicle.

Jax ignores the raise of eyebrows from Opie as he approaches Tara.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he eyes the Oldsmobile, which wasn't in that bad of shape considering who it belonged too.

"Yeah." Tara replies giving him a smile. "I was hoping you could help with the Cutlass. It's in pretty sad shape."

Jax looks inside as he checks the mileage, "This was your dad's, right?"

"It was in the garage under two tons of old newspapers." She reveals to him.

"Why don't you bring it in back? Opie or Lowell can take a look at it." He tells as for the sake of his marriage he isn't going to be caught dead near anything related to the Knowles.

"Okay. Thanks."

Jax gives her a friendly smile that he reserves for all customers and is about to tell her that she can head into the office for the initial paperwork when he notices the hesitant look in her eyes.

"Hey, I was hoping you could give…if I could get a lift home." She asks hesitantly.

Jax is about to open his mouth and say that they could call a cab or maybe Lowell or the Prospect could drop her off back home when his mom appears out of thin air.

"I can give the good Doctor a lift home," she offers. "I'm about to head out anyways real quick. Buy you working men some lunch. Stop by Noelle's shop too."

Jax doesn't miss the mention of his wife as his mom stares at Tara. Jax decides he isn't going to get involved anyways.

...

Gemma couldn't believe that the gash would honestly believe Jax would give her a ride home.

Gemma walks over to her car while Tara follows and throws her purse in the car. She is seconds away from sitting when she is called back to the garage to handle some primarily paperwork. Her son is at least smart that he lets the Prospect give Tara the paperwork while he and Opie resume their work. However, Gemma can't help the smile that overtakes her features as she watched Tara take in the very bright vibrant love bites her son is wearing.

Gemma looks over to the doctor's purse noting that the girl needs a new one. At least even with three kids, Noelle always made it a point to keep up with her appearance. She made sure to always look polished and clean with the latest fashion. Even if Noelle wasn't all about materials and superficial, still as an old lady especially to the VP of the mother charter, Noelle was prime for gossip and dissecting. And like their bikes, the men loved showing off their old ladies, Jax wasn't any different especially since his wife could pull off a garbage bag and still have men drooling.

Yet, a flash in the doctor's purse makes her pause. She looks back up to see Tara still occupied by paperwork and opens the purse a little to find a Berretta.

 _Ah shit!_ Gemma screams in her head. She knew some shit was following this broad. She hates when she is fucking right about people. She thought Tara would've abandoned the damsel in distress act when she was 19. Apparently she didn't. If Gemma knows anything though was that this shit wasn't about to catch her son sideways.

Gemma grabs a cigarette as Tara approaches the car and slides in.

"Mind if I smoke?" She asks.

"And if I said yes?"

Gemma smiles. At least the brunette doctor knows where she stands with her still, "Right."

Gemma pulls out of Teller Morrow and she begins simple civil conversation. She asks about how Tara has fared since embarking on her medical career. Of course, Tara was tight lipped and gave clipped answers. Gemma was unsure of why Tara had a bone to pick with her considering she was the one that left Charming and a broken Jax behind. Before Noelle came around, Gemma was the one mending her son's broken heart.

Soon they reach the Knowles residence. It seems since Tara's return she has been making the effort in fixing the house up. Gemma hopes that means Tara means to sell than live in.

"Must be strange being in that house alone." Gemma comments as she thinks about the dark history of the house.

"Hard to get lonely. My dad was a bit of a pack rat. I can barely turn around without stepping on some piece of history."

Both women chuckle.

"Yeah. Clay's the same way. Never throws anything out. Still has underwear from 1967. Me? I hate clutter."

"I get that." Tara replies with a tight smile. "Thanks."

Gemma lights her cigarette she had been putting off as she looks at Tara. She didn't hate the woman despite popular belief. She knew that Jax was going to get his heart broken once in his life. It was inevitable considering how deep her boy could carry a torch for someone. Then she knew Tara wasn't meant for their world. It was inevitable that it wouldn't last. It was only that Gemma didn't trust Tara. Even if no one else seen it, Tara was manipulative. She knew how a few well played tears could woe her son and probably some other unfortunate soul. And when things didn't work in her favor, Tara would run like she always did. Like now, how she ran from Chicago back to Charming. She was familiar with the wreckage of Tara Knowles and she wasn't about to let her family – her grandchildren – get wrapped in it.

"Wanna tell me why you're carrying?" Tara looks at her confused and Gemma points to the purse. "The gun in your bag."

Tara looks at her in disbelief. "You went through my bag?"

"I spotted it. I'm very observant." Gemma tells her with a smile.

"I started carrying it when I was in Chicago." Tara tells her through a clenched jaw. "I lived in a rough neighborhood. Just haven't gotten around to getting rid of it yet."

"A Beretta's not an old tampon. You don't just forget it's in your bag. Is it registered?"

"I have a permit. It's legal."

"You know how to use it?"

"Yeah, I do." Tara tells her before exiting her car.

* * *

"Besides collecting dust, the car isn't in that bad of shape," Opie tells Jax as he cleans the motor of Tara's Cutlass.

Jax shrugs his shoulders. He was reluctant to work on the car, but the sooner that this car was off the lot the better. And Opie was right. Despite her Dad neglecting it, it wasn't in bad shape at all.

"You've been quiet."

"Nothing to say, man," Jax tells his brother. He doesn't know how many other ways to tell people that.

"You sure it was the right move letting your Mom take Tara home?"

"And the other alternative being me? I happen to love my dick and my wife." Jax responds. "I don't know why she would even ask me."

"Women love married men," Opie teases.

Jax rolls his eyes and with his next thought he knows he is going to go to hell for it, but he voices it anyways. "I just hope her old man decides if he is going to croak or get better so she can leave."

Opie barks out a laugh. "Damn, man."

"It's the truth. She fucking hated Charming and her Dad. Now she's back because he had a fucking stroke."

"It could be that she came to say her peace."

Jax shakes his head. He wasn't buying that. She had 11 years to make amends.

If Tara was a Neo-Natal surgeon in fucking Chicago, she wouldn't come back here to a smaller town where she wouldn't have the same opportunities for her career. So he hoped this move to Charming wasn't permanent.

"Besides, I think it's a little conceited to think she would come back for you," Opie points out.

Jax doesn't respond as his hands pull out what looks to be fucking rose petals. "What the fuck?"

He shows Opie, who only shrugs his shoulders.

* * *

Donna smiles as she watches her kids along with Addie, Noah, and AJ run around the park like crazy. It was rare for her to tackle having all five of the kids together without someone else. But now with them getting older, it was getting better to manage them. Although she always had to keep an eye out for AJ as he was the mischievous one of the bunch. He seemed to thrive on giving her mini heart attacks with his schemes. Donna doesn't know how Noelle managed to do it raising three kids alone.

However, Mother Nature calls and she waves to the kids as she interrupts their epic game of tag.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Do any of you have to go?" She asks the kids who are panting.

"I'll go," Ellie and Kenny say while Addie decides to take a break and walks to the picnic table. The boys go back to running wild.

Addie walks to the picnic table their Aunt Donna had taken watch from and goes through their cooler for a drink of water. Addie also feels the coming hunger pangs and she looks over to where the boys are too distracted by chasing AJ when she goes into the picnic basket and grabs a bag of chips to munch on.

Addie smiles at the prized BBQ chips as she sits on the other side of the table near the garbage bin.

She is enjoying the crisp chips when a shadow falls over her.

Looking up she is met with an older gentleman looking down at her with a smile.

The hair on her back immediately stands to attention.

"Can I help you?" Addie asks the man.

The man looks down at her and she finds him scrutinizing her appearance.

"Are those your brothers?" He asks.

Addie narrows her eyes and she hopes her Aunt Donna comes back from the bathroom quickly.

"Can I help you?" Addie asks the man again as she isn't about to answer the man. After all, school and her mother had warned her about stranger danger.

The man goes to reply, but a shout of _hey_ comes from across the field.

Addie turns to find Noah approaching with narrowed eyes. Despite looking like their mother, the expression he wears is all their father when he shows his anger on the rare occasion. "Get away from my sister!" He shouts.

Addie could almost laugh as AJ follows carrying a very large stick.

"I won't ask again." Noah threatens.

"Besides we're friends with the Sheriff." Little AJ pipes in as he gives his most menacing look.

The man walks away with a smile they aren't privy too and Addie feels weird about the encounter.

"Did you know him?" Noah asks.

"No."

"We're going to have to tell Aunt Donna, Mom and –"

"No, we're most definitely not telling, Dad!" Addie says.

Noah's blonde brows rocket to his hairline. "What! Why not!"

"Because we can't." Addie stresses as she sends a pointed look to AJ.

Even if their father or mother haven't really talked about their father's, uncles', and grandfather's lifestyle Noah and Addie weren't too naïve and oblivious especially after that illuminating encounter with their maternal grandmother. Of course they didn't know the extent of what their father did, but considering Uncle Tig and Happy she could only imagine what weird Fight Club pack they were involved in.

"Dad needs to know." Noah counters.

"Nothing happened."

"Some weird old dude was just talking to you. He could be the creepy guy in the white van."

Addie rolls her eyes at her brother and she turns her eyes to her youngest brother. "AJ, you promise not to say anything."

AJ with his innocent blue eyes look back and forth between her and Noah. She can tell his loyalty is torn between the two of them.

"Don't get him in the middle." Noah says with a sigh.

"He already is."

"We'll talk about this later," Noah says as they see Aunt Donna and their cousins approaching.

* * *

Addie's resolve to not tell her parents about what happened at the park quickly broke. After all, it was weird for a grown man to approach her. He had to be clearly watching them for a while. Even more, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if something happened to little AJ because of this man and if he was a threat to their family. So after pointed looks from Noah at dinner, she knew she needed to say something. Besides, if she was going to admit it to herself she was scared herself about being approached by a weird man. She also couldn't help but think that man knew exactly who she was along with her brother.

So now she was standing outside of her parent's bedroom with Noah lurking in his own doorway. She sends him a quick glare before she knocks on the door.

She hears some movements behind the door and she thinks a few giggles and groans. She cringes as she thinks about what may have been transpiring behind these closed doors. After all, since her Dad came home, there was the awkward conversation of that with Dad home they couldn't barge in anymore. They _had_ to knock after AJ tried to get – barged - in their room one night. Both Noah and she died of embarrassment from the implication yet now she could laugh as she recalls her father's red face at AJ's insistent questions of why he had to knock.

The door is eventually opened and she finds her mom tying a robe on with a smile on her face. Addie's brows furrow though as she sees raspberry splotches on her Mom's neck. She doesn't question it as her Dad had the same and she thinks she heard Noah and Kenny call them hickeys.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" Her mom asks.

"I need to talk to you and Dad." She tells her Mom.

She watches as her Mom's smile dims and her brows furrow as she opens the door wider, "Is everything okay?"

Addie isn't able to answer and she looks in the bedroom where she finds her Dad sitting on his side of the bed propped up on the headboard. She doesn't even realize she did until she already did as she climbs onto the bed and for the first time in five years she climbs onto her father's lap like she did when she was younger. Her head rest against where Noah's name rests and his arms wrap around her tightly as he holds her.

Addie squeezes her eyes tight as despite her anger at her dad being gone for five years, this was still the same. She knows no matter what the place she always felt safe was in her daddy's arms.

"What happened, Ads?" He asks softly.

Addie lets out a shaky breath and she looks to where her mom is sitting on the edge of the bed next to them. Concern bleeds through her.

"When we were at the park today with Aunt Donna…" Addie starts, but stops as she wipes her tears. "Aunt Donna and Kenny and Ellie went to the bathroom. I was sitting alone at the table when an old guy approached me." Addie doesn't miss the way her Dad tenses and how his hold tightens the slightest. It doesn't make her want to continue telling them.

"It's okay, baby," her mom soothes as she sends a look to her Dad and she feels the tightness in his body lessen, but his hold is still tight as he presses a kiss to her head. "What happened?"

"All he did was give me some creepy smile and asked if Noah and AJ were my brothers. I didn't answer him or anything. Noah and AJ eventually came over and shooed him away. But he kept smiling as he walked away. Aunt Donna didn't see him or anything. Just us."

The room is encased in silence and Addie isn't sure what to do. But her mom takes a deep breath and she can see her Mom is worried.

"Is that all that happened?" Her Dad asks.

Addie nods her head against his chest.

"Addie, why didn't you say something earlier or to Donna?" Her mom questions.

Addie is reluctant to answer and she hides her face in her father's chest.

"Ads." Her dad says urging her to answer.

"I don't want Dad to get in trouble again." She mumbles, but both parents hear it.

A frown mars her Mom's lips and her Dad takes a shaky breath. He pulls her back and his blue eyes crash with her brown, "Ads, my job as your dad is to protect _no matter what_. I need you to believe me when I say I'm not going anywhere okay."

Addie wants to believe him. She wants to cling to his words, but she can't. "But you went away before."

Her Dad's blue eyes turn misty as he nods his head. "I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Addie."

Addie nods her head, but her dam breaks as ugly sobs wreck her body.

...

Jax places his daughter in her bed and tucks her in. He wipes her sticky cheeks before he places a kiss on her head. And right now, he feels a thousand different emotions storming his body. But in this hurricane of emotions, at least he knows he has his daughter back. He knows that whatever kept Addie distant from him has broken.

But even then he can't rejoice too much considering the circumstance surrounding it.

With his daughter finally asleep, as he heads back to his bedroom, he can finally unleash the anger he has been holding in for the past hour. Noelle is sitting up in bed with her face buried in her knees.

Jax isn't sure which way to take what his daughter has told him. The first thought was that there was sick pedophile approaching his kid in Charming. But he couldn't ignore the fact as in so little words, Addie had given the picture that this man knew he was approaching Jax Teller's kid.

Jax sits on the edge of the bed. "I'll put the Prospects on the kids."

Noelle makes a derisive noise in her throat that takes him back. "Who'd you guys piss of now, Jax?"

Jax isn't sure what to say as he opens his mouth than closes it. Noelle is clearly blaming him. "No one goes after kids or women."

"Well someone is going after _our_ kids." She counters the venom in her voice makes him wince.

"Tomorrow, I'll ask the kids what he looked like."

Noelle scoffs.

"Noe –"

"These are our children, Jackson."

"I know that." He snaps back.

The bedroom is silent. And Jax runs his hands over his face. There was so much shit he could take, but whoever this person was has clearly crossed a line approaching his kids. This asshole had made it personal.

He hears Noelle move across the bed and he turns to face her as she sits next to him on her knees. He sees a sadness and anger burning in her ocean eyes. Something he doesn't think he has ever seen in her before as she scrutinizes him.

Her hands cup his face as she speaks, her words clear and precise, "I swear to God Jackson, there is a lot of shit I can overlook and forgive, but if something happens to our kids I will never forgive you for it."


	13. Taste of Charming

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. I'm glad you guys are are still enjoying the story! As always pardon all the grammar mistakes.

until then.

* * *

Noelle is slipping on her Nike running shoes when Jax walks back into their bedroom.

To say things were tense between them is an understatement. She knows that it was cruel for her to put the blame on Jax for some man approaching their kids. Even if this man turned out to be connected to some enemy of the club, it was wrong for her to just slap whatever happened onto her husband.

She knows no matter what Jax loved their children and would do anything to protect them. Besides it wasn't as if this was exactly club and gang rules. Rivals could blow up warehouses and have shoot outs, but it was an unspoken law that no one ever went after women and children.

But someone was going after children. Her children.

And no matter how much she loved Jax with her whole being, her very soul, the love she had for him didn't compare to the love she had for her children. She hopes there would never come the day where she would be put in a position of having to choose between her husband and children, but her children came before anything and everyone.

She knows the words she spoke last night had hurt him. They were cruel, but true and she thinks that was what hit him the most about it.

"I'm going to put Sack on the kids," Jax tells her.

"How are you going to explain that to the guys – your mother?" She asks him quietly.

"If this is some crew…I have to tell them. We can't take any chances here."

"You think it's the Mayans?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders. If anything he thinks it might be CL because despite the heated history between the clubs and Mayans neither crew ever made their beef personal. It had always been about business. But then again now he is unsure as after talking to Addie again she said the man was white with greying hair.

"I'll take care of it." He assures her.

Noelle hands rub her forehead as she knows exactly what that means. Jax knows that she knows that too. Sometimes she wonders how she can stand by and love this man despite knowing how bloody his hands were.

Noelle stands in front of him and her hands cup his cheeks before they tuck down on his growing beard. "I love you, Jax."

She watches what she believes is some relief as he nods his head. "I love you too."

…

Before leaving the house, Jax brings his two oldest over to him as Noelle stands with AJ. He goes into his pocket as he brings out his two burners already programmed with everyone's numbers. He hates that he has to do this. In all his years of being an outlaw, he had never expected this shit.

And as two pair of innocent eyes look at him, he feels complete rage for whatever man or crew has been able to put fear in his children's eyes. When he finds this man he will go on a rage that will make the Reaper proud.

"I want you two to have these. All our numbers are already in here, if you see anything. If you feel anything you call okay."

Noah and Addie nod their heads as they take the phones.

"What about AJ?" Noah asks.

"I'm going to have Half Sack with him – all of you."

"Even at the Center?" Addie asks with a furrowed brow.

"If you want you can still go with Mom to help with the fundraiser," Jax offers.

Both kids shake their heads. "I'll see you guys' later okay."

He brings both kids into a hug and presses a kiss to both their heads. "I love you," he tells him.

"Love you too, Dad," they reply and Jax holds them tighter.

…

As soon as he parks his bike, he tells his President he needs to call for church. Jax doesn't even give Clay the chance to ask why before he strolls into the clubhouse and into his designated seat.

His brothers look at him concerned as they pile in and crowd the table and Clay looks worried as he sits in his seat.

"What's wrong, son?" Clay asks.

Jax balls his fists as he looks at his brothers – family – and composes himself enough to be able to tell them about what's going on.

"Is this about you monopolizing the Prospect?" Bobby asks next to him.

Jax nods his head stiffly. "Yesterday when the kids were at the park, Addie told me and Noe that some man approached her asking questions."

"What the fuck," is heard throughout the chapel, but Opie's voice is the loudest.

"When they were with Donna?"

Jax nods his head. "From how Addie said it, the man had to be waiting to get her or the boys alone."

"What happened?" Clay asks quietly. But Jax knows his step-father. He can cold venom making a home in Clay's veins as he makes a fist.

"She said the man asked her if the boys were her brothers before Noah and AJ chased him off. But she said he was smiling the whole time like he knew them. Said he was older. White. Salt and Pepper hair." Jax informs them.

"Darby?" Juice asks.

"He isn't that stupid," Tig says.

"But it would be a bold move in getting our attention." Juice counters.

"We're good with the Nords," Clay says after some thought. The President is pretty sure that his two oldest grandchildren know what Darby looks like. And for five years the Nords kept Jax alive in prison and as long as they didn't deal in Charming they were good.

"Anyone know what this Fed looks like?" Piney asks from the end of the table.

"That is career suicide," Bobby says in clear disbelief. "Feds can be dirty, but approaching kids." Bobby trails off as he shakes his head.

"Yeah, but it would ruffle feathers. Probably expecting it to get to us." Tig says thoughtfully.

"Where are the kids now?" Clay asks.

"At the Center. Noah and Addie have burners and Sack is on them." Jax tells his step-father.

"Noe?" Clay adds.

"She's helping Mom with the fundraiser."

"No one's on her?" Chibs ask.

"She's carrying." Jax tells him as he made sure his wife had her gun on her.

Bobby places a hand on his shoulder, "We'll figure this shit out Jax."

Jax digs for his cigarettes. "I handle this," he tells him brothers firmly. When they figure out who this fucker is, he gets the one to pull the trigger. He's the one that gets to rip this man apart.

The men have no objections.

…

The last place Noelle wants to be is at Charming High setting up for the Taste of Charming fundraiser. She would have preferred having her babies here with her to at least keep an eye on them. Jax thought it was better to let the kids decide how to spend their day as it was better to keep with the routine.

Noelle reluctantly agreed, but it didn't ease her worries. She had to restrain herself from calling Half Sack every 30 minutes.

Thankfully, she has managed a good enough poker face that Gemma doesn't seem to pick up anything is wrong. Gemma is too far gone in exterior decorating to really focus on her and how she is constantly checking her phone in case the kids or Jax call her.

The mother of three is in the middle of hanging out banners when she hears her name called out. Noelle looks down from where she is standing on the ladder and almost falls at the sight of April Hobart.

Even though Noelle never harbored any ill feelings towards the ebony haired woman, April always kept her distance at SAMCRO sponsored events she attended and supported.

Noelle never questioned as to why April's ex-husband, Kyle, was excommunicated from the club in the beginning. She knows that if she had asked Gemma she might've found out, but back then Noelle was still raw from Jax going to prison. And even then, she didn't think it was really her concern as to why the cocky man got kicked out. But it wasn't hard to connect the dots eventually. Clay and Opie couldn't hide their disgust and anger during those first few months with Jax away. During a visit with Jax when she had brought up the kids were invited to one of the Hobart's kid's birthday party. Jax had forbid her from taking the kids even with the assurances that Kyle wasn't going to be there, he didn't want her to go. She had watched his blue eyes go ablaze with anger. And when she asked if that man had anything to do with him sitting in jail his silence was deafening and all the confirmation she needed.

When Kyle was a patch, Noelle never cared for him. His cockiness and arrogance were a turn off. It also didn't help that she, like April, knew the man wasn't exactly discreet with his extracurricular activities when it came to the croweaters. Noelle was surprised that April let Kyle be so disrespectful to her about it especially when April had no problems with this Life they had married into.

"Hey, April, how have you been?" She asks politely.

"I've been good. Congratulations on the store."

"Thank you," Noelle replies back with the best smile she can conjure.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Noelle says with a nod of her head.

"Charlie's band's playing during the fireworks tomorrow night. He really wants his dad to come."

Noelle looks at her dumbfounded, "Oh." She says dumbly. "April…I don't think…the guys…Jax or Clay will go for it." If anything she fears her husband might kill Kyle considering everything that is going on.

"I would never ask anything like this. Me and you, we understand what went down." April pleads. "But my kids- Charlie doesn't know. It breaks his heart that his dad can't come to anything around here. Not baseball games, no school stuff."

At the mention of kids, Noelle's resolve stumbles. If anything she wouldn't want to be the reason as to why a man can't see his children. She didn't want to cause more strain in a family. After all, she had Jax back and they were happy. They were good. Kyle wasn't even on their radar.

Noelle stands straighter as she looks at April. "I'll bring it up, but I can't promise anything."

"Thank you," April says relieved before walking away.

Noelle sighs as she tries to figure out how in the hell she will be able to even bring that up when she jumps at the sound of Gemma's voice.

"What she want?"

Noelle looks at her mother in law and shakes her head. "She asked if Kyle could come to the fundraiser to see the kid perform."

"Are you kidding me?" Gemma asks in disbelief. Noelle thinks she maybe should have been worried about what Gemma would do to Kyle then the boys. "What you say?"

"I told her I would bring it up."

Gemma looks at her incredulous. "Jax or Clay will never go for that."

"That's what I told her." Noelle says as she looks at April's retreating form.

And her thoughts turn to the last five years she lost with Jax. She tried her best not to get lost in anger because it didn't change anything. Yet, there were days she was – were – angry. But now it was all in the past.

She is surprised when Gemma wraps an arm around her shoulder, "You did good, baby."

…

Noelle follows Gemma back to Teller –Morrow and she finds her husband working in the garage. He smiles as he sees her and she bounces in his arms and gives him a burning kiss.

Jax is slightly taken back by this enthusiastic greeting, but he isn't one to complain about receiving some loving from his wife. Yet, he knows his wife is trying to butter him up for something.

Her arms are around his neck as his hands go to her ass covered in short jean shorts and he stares into her ocean blue eyes, "So how much money do you want?"

"Ass," she replies as she tightens her arms around him. "If I did want money, you better cough it up anyways considering how you manage to ruin some of my underwear."

"Don't know why you bother to wear them." He quips before bringing her into another kiss and he smiles when he elicits a moan out of his pretty wife, but she pulls back from the kiss and her hands come down to his chest. Her playful mood dims a little. "What's going on?" He asks seriously.

Noelle grabs his hand and leads him over by the couch that is in the garage and their conversation is drowned out by the power tools.

"I talked to April Hobart this morning." She tells him.

Jax folds his arms across his chest and doesn't hide his clenched jaw when he hears the last name. "How'd that go?"

Noelle wraps her arms around herself, "She asked if Kyle could come tomorrow."

"No." Jax replies instantly.

"It's not for him, Jax." Noelle defends. "It's for April's kid. The kid is playing tomorrow night."

"I went to prison because of that asshole, Noe," Jax growls harshly. "He kept me away from our kids and you for five years. It's only fair I do the same."

"This isn't about him though, baby," Noelle says again as her hands cup his face. "April stayed in Charming, Jax, when he got stripped. Divorced him."

"Yeah because he was fucking anything with a pair of lips," Jax adds.

Noelle sighs as her stubborn man isn't going to budge. It's not like she expected him too. "Just know, baby, you're home now with me and the kids." She leans forward and places a kiss on his lips, which he doesn't respond too, but it doesn't bother her. She pulls back and gives him a sultry pout, "Just think about it and know I'll support you no matter what."

She places another kiss on his lips hoping to wipe the pissy look off his face. She does to some avail. Yet, he still eyes her wearily. She decides to bring out the big guns. "When's your break?" She asks him as her hands go to his waist and tugs on his belt loops.

He flashes a lecherous grin before she finds herself scooped up by his arms and thrown over his shoulder as he heads into the clubhouse.

…

Noelle and Jax share a smile at each other as they listen to Noah and Addie bicker in the backseat. Noah thinks they should be able to do things for free at the fundraiser since they are SAMCRO, but Addie argues that it defeats the purpose of the fundraiser. AJ is in the back silent for once as he enjoys the passing scenery.

Jax grabs Noelle's hand and he presses a kiss to her hand adorned by her wedding bands as they pull into the parking lot.

Noah and Addie rush out of the car and begin running towards the pavilion before she or Jax can stop or yell at them. Luckily, Jax manages to snatch AJ before he can run after his older siblings.

"Sorry, Little Man, you're stuck with us," Jax teases.

"But I want to play with Noah and Addie," AJ pouts.

"You will, baby," Noelle soothes. "But we need to go say hi to Grandma."

AJ keeps the pout firmly on his face, but rests his head on his father's shoulder.

Jax wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses the top of her head, but their attention is taken by a shiny black RAM pulling into the lot. She feels Jax stiffen slightly as Kyle hops out of the truck accompanied by a girl that looks like a teenager, but seems to be his girlfriend.

Noelle was surprised that Jax said he brought it up for a vote to have Kyle come to the fundraiser, but now she is unsure if she should have asked him to do this.

She brings her hand to his growing beard and tugs it so he is looking at her, "Hey, you're home now, baby."

Jax nods his head, but she watches his eyes slide from her to Kyle. Noelle leans on her tippy toes and presses a kiss to his lips hoping to distract before she leads them to the pavilion.

…

With his mom stealing Noelle for a little bit, Jax is left with the task of watching all three of his kids, he wouldn't find it such a big deal to let his kids roam the pavilion by themselves as SAMCRO was everywhere, but considering some random man had approached them. His kids weren't leaving his line of sight. Luckily, Donna had managed to get the kids all at one table after enticing them with funnel cakes and milkshakes.

Taking a much needed break, he finds Opie setting up the fireworks for later in the night.

Jax gives his brother a beer as they sit down on some crates.

"How you feeling man?" Opie asks him.

Jax eyes find Noelle with a bright smile on her face as she sells some of his Mom's chili before they go over to his kids, who are all smiling and laughing with Donna and the Prospect. "I'm good, bro."

Opie gives him a dubious look. "It's just us man."

Jax rubs his chin as he looks to where Kyle and his jail bait are sitting with Kyle's kids having the time of their lives.

"I still want to beat the shit out of him."

Opie nods his head. "And?"

"Do you think he's happy?"

"I don't know." Opie says. "Are you happy?"

"Of course. I got my kids, wife, and club."

"Exactly and what does he have?" Opie adds.

…

Noelle exits the bathroom and is going to head back to the SAMCRO booth when a tap comes on her shoulder. Turning around she is met with Kyle Hobart. She doesn't hide her frown. She doesn't know why this man would even be approaching her when she is sure that the club issued a no contact rule for his time in Charming.

And of all people she is confused on why he is approaching her. When he was a patch she had always been cordial, but she couldn't hide her distaste for the man as his eyes could never stay above her neckline. She is sure it was the reason why on a few occasions Jax would never hesitate in fighting Kyle in the ring on Fight nights.

"Can I help you?"

"I just wanted to say you and Jax look real happy." He starts.

Noelle folds her arms across her chest and doesn't reply.

"I just wanted to settle some things between me and Jax. I know I fucked up and hurt your family in the process."

"You don't need to worry about my family, Kyle." She tells him dryly. "Besides there is nothing to settle with me and if there was you need to go see my old man about it."

Noelle goes to walk away and she is taken back when Kyle grabs her arm stopping her. He seems to realize his mistake as he releases her arm as if he just got burned.

"Sorry," he says quickly apologizing. "I just know that I'm here because of you. I just wanted to see if you can just tell Jax I wanted to talk to him. Clear the air."

"You had five years to do that," Noelle tells.

"I didn't want take time away from you and the kids on family day. Didn't seem right."

"Where was that remorse when you left my old man to get arrested?" Noelle fires back.

Kyle purses his lips together and can't seem to find a response. She watches as his eyes widen and she knows the reason why as her husband's arm goes around her shoulder and he brings her into his side as he places a kiss on her head.

"Everything okay?" He asks Kyle and shoots him a fake smile through clenched teeth.

"We're fine, baby," Noelle says as her hand comes up to his stomach and rubs it.

"Yeah?" Jax questions, not believing her words, as he eyes narrow at Kyle.

"You have a beautiful family Jax." Kyle says as Jax stares him down.

Noelle thinks she can detect some fear in Kyle.

Jax and Kyle had patched in together along with Opie. And back then, Jax and Kyle were of similar builds and most of all friends. Now with five years away and Jax's added muscle and anger, Kyle doesn't recognize the man before him. Noelle thinks Kyle underestimated how much her husband could carry hate in his bones.

"Babe, I need to talk to Kyle here for a minute." Jax says coolly, but his eyes soften as he looks down at her.

Noelle shoots him a look that tells him not to do anything stupid as she leans and places a kiss on his lips. Jax replies with a smile that clearly tells her he can't promise her anything.

…

For the most part it seems the fundraiser is a success as the pavilion is filled and people are easily contributing their funds to Charming High's music department. She didn't say anything when Jax had returned from his talk with Kyle with bloody knuckles and Kyle rocking a busted lip and bloody eyebrow. After all, it seems Kyle is taking the beating with pride on top of losing the egg toss to Jax and Addie.

Thankfully, Gemma has relieved her for the rest of the night, and she is sitting with AJ as he stuffs down some cotton candy.

She is taken back when his head pops up and he smiles at someone across the yard. "Look, Mom, it's Dr. Tara!"

Noelle bites her bottom lip as Tara is the last person she wants to see. But now that her son has gotten her attention, Tara reluctantly walks over to her.

"Hi, AJ, how have you been?" Tara asks with a smile.

"Good." AJ tells her with a bright smile. "Mommy just bought me some cotton candy."

"Is cotton candy your favorite?"

"No, I like caramel apples, but Daddy says we can get those when we go home."

Noelle watches as Tara's eye twitches as the mention of Jax.

"How are you Noelle?"

"Good. You?" Noelle replies tightly.

"I'm good." Tara replies. It's awkward and tense and luckily AJ is too consumed by his cotton candy to notice.

However, before Tara can make an exit, both women are taken back by Addie running up to Noelle with a scared look on her face.

"What's wro –" Noelle begins to ask before Addie speaks.

"It's him!" Addie whispers in a panic.

Noelle's spine stiffens at Addie's words and she tightens her hold on AJ. "Where?"

Addie thankfully doesn't point, but she gives Tara a furtive glance, but Noelle doesn't care what Tara hears. "He's the one grilling the sausages at the police booth."

Noelle looks up and searches the ground where she finds a man with salt and pepper hair in aviator shades looking right at them. "Oh my god."

Tara is forgotten as Noelle takes her kids to where Jax is with Opie watching Noah and Kenny playing with water guns with other kids.

Jax notices her and gives her a smile, but it dims as he sees her serious expression and Addie's scared expression.

Jax stands up and walks between the kids water fight and ignores the water that now stains his clothes as he reaches his wife, daughter, and son, "What is it?" He asks as he bends down and looks at Addie, who immediately reaches for him and he picks her up and holds her.

"The guy grilling hot dogs with the police is the guy that approached them." Noelle says.

Jax's eyes snap from Noelle's to Charming PD's booth where he finds the older gentlemen smiling as he serves hot dogs. There is no doubt in his mind that this man is working for the Feds.

"He's name is Josh Kohn."

"How you know that?" Jax almost growls, but he manages to say it softly as he is mindful of Addie clinging to him and AJ seeming to know something is wrong.

"He came to my store." Noelle reveals to him.

Opie approaches and looks between the two of them, "Everything okay?"

Before Jax can respond, Tig approaches, "Jax, Ope, we got to go. Grim came through. Alvarez wants to meet."

At those words, Addie clings to him, "Daddy, no."

Jax's heart clenches as Addie holds onto him tighter. He doesn't want to leave her especially since he now has a face to the man that approached his kids.

"I have to go, Addie," he says softly.

"I don't want you to. Stay here." She pleads as she brings her head up and her brown eyes burn into his tortured blue ones. He doesn't know what to say as his tongue feels numb. Luckily, Noelle steps in. AJ out of her arms and now clings to her legs.

"Baby, Daddy has to go," she soothes as she begins to rub her back. "But we'll stay with Grandma okay or we can go home and we can call Aunt Lena."

Addie doesn't say anything, but her arms loosen and Jax lets her down. He presses a kiss to her head before he turns to Noelle and cups her face. "You stay with my mother." He orders.

She nods her head and he presses a burning kiss to his lips as he heads towards the guys.

"Everything okay?" Opie asks.

Jax motions for them to walk as he takes the lead. "See that guy grilling burgers." He says quietly as they pass the Charming PD booth and he finds a set of eyes hidden behind sunglasses looking at him. "He is the man that approached Addie."

Jax doesn't need to see it, but he knows the guys tense up. "You need to get a handle on that." Tig warns.

"I will."

"And what about Kyle coming to the clubhouse?" Chibs asks.

"You'll see."

Jax and the guys take the 45 minute ride to Lodi and meet under an abandoned bridge where the Mayans, CL, and Grim Bastards are waiting. Clay is in a good mood as Tig rolls out the barrel that contains the Mayans source of income.

Alvarez eyes them with annoyance as they approach. "What is this, Clay?"

Clay lights his cigar as he eyes the President of the Mayans. Despite the bad blood between the crews, Clay does have respect for Marcus as a business man. He knows that things with Marcus has never been personal only strictly business.

"We know you're patching over the Calaveras." Clay says after he blows out some smoke.

"Cutting and bagging heroin at the janitorial supply house, piping it to Stockton," Jax adds.

Alvarez becomes tense. After all, the last war that happened between SAMCRO and the Mayans was because of territory and drugs. "If you're here to declare war, consider it already on."

Clay shakes his head, "We're tired of getting bloody. Your attack on the warehouse, our attack at on yours. Why don't we just call it even?"

Marcus is skeptical, "Too much history to be even, Clay."

"That's my point. We've been doing this too long, Marcus. Nobody ever wins." Clay explains.

"Get to the point, ese."

Clay looks over to Chibs and nods his head.

Chibs and Bobby come forward and open the barrel and reveals the little balloon baggies.

"I think that you lost something." Chibs says.

Alvarez nostrils flare as he moves to attack Hector Salazar, "You stupid little shit!"

Clay blows rings of smoke before he flashes Alvarez a smile. "Moving high-risk cargo is tricky. Things tend to get lost in transit. However, if it comes across our borders again, we can guarantee safe passage to Stockton." Clay says motioning to the Grim Bastards.

:And that's why you're patching over these idiots, right?" Jax continues. "So shit like this don't happen. We got a better idea. Our brothers in Lodi are more capable, and with our support, your new enterprise is protected."

Clay turns serious. "We're trying to make peace here."

Alvarez eyes him skeptically. "And how much is peace gonna cost me, Clay?"

"I'll let the Bastards negotiate their own fee. For us, just a toll. 25K a run."

Jax flashes his own smile. "We'll consider this the first run."

Clay can tell Alvarez isn't fully sold. Clay steps closer so only the two of them will be able to dechiper their words. "It ain't personal. It's just about the cash. This is the best play for both of us."

"Okay." Marcus agrees.

"Means no Mayan charter in Lodi." Jax adds for clarification.

Marcus laughs. "Shit. None of these bitches would have made the cut anyhow."

Hector fumes, "This is bullshit, Alvarez. You can't..." His words are cut short, but a Mayan punching him in the gut.

Marcus flashes them a smile as he looks at Juice, " Hey, I think you lost something, too." The Mayans Vice President produces Juice's kutte. "How could you let those bitches take your cut, ese? An embarrassment to Latinos everywhere." Marcus adds and soon the Mayans joins in laughing at Juice. Hector growls as he catches his breath, "Just gonna bow to these assholes, huh?"

Jax can't help it as he punches Hector in the face before he turns to Juice. "Make this right."

Juice smiles as he begins lay his punches on Hector.

…

Noelle stuck to her word and made sure her and the kids were near Gemma. Gemma didn't question it, but she knows that Gemma will want an explanation later. But now, she is sitting at a picnic bench with AJ leaning heavily into her as she strokes his head. She has a small smile on her face as she sees he is trying to fight sleep as he tries to keep his eyes from fluttering shut.

Right now they are preparing for the fireworks; Noah and Addie are with Opie and the kids as he sets it up.

Noelle presses a kiss to her son's head and her eyes close for a second as she inhales the scent of his shampoo. When she opens them she is taken back by the sight of Tara Knowles approaching her.

Tara gives her a small nervous smile, "I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Addie seemed spooked."

Noelle purses her lips together as the last thing she wants to deal with right now is with Tara and her raging and insecure emotions that came with her.

"It's fine." Noelle says tersely as she eyes the brunette surgeon. Tara didn't really change in the ten years she has been gone. She still had the same pale skin and kept her hair pin straight. She remembers that Tara always dressed plainly. There wasn't anything wrong with that, but it seems the style of simple jeans and solid colors tank were a mainstay for the surgeon.

But if there was one thing that Noelle certainly remembered about the partially orphaned girl with a drunken daddy was that she hated Charming. Everyone was aware of that. So it didn't make sense on as to why the Good Doctor would return.

"What are you doing here, Tara?"

She can tell Tara is taken back by the question. As her mouth open and closes like a gaping fish.

Tara isn't able to respond as April Hobart interrupts looking for Kyle.

…

Jax sighs in satisfaction at the feeling of an ice cold beer running down his throat. He's sitting on his bike as he watches Half Sack hose down the aftermath of getting rid of Kyle Hobart's back tattoo. Surprisingly it was the first time he ever had to smell burning flesh. It's a scent he hopes he never has to smell again.

Tig pulls the van up while Chib opens the door and the two throw Kyle's unconscious form in the back.

Clay strolls over to him with his own beer in hand. "You feel better now?"

"This wasn't about revenge."

"Still must've felt good." Clay counters. Because to Clay it felt really good. And he knows with his 20 plus years as an outlaw going to prison is expected to happen at least once, didn't mean he particularly likes it. He sure as hell didn't like it once he married Gemma and Jax became his stepson. He realized that he really didn't like being away from his family. It only made him make sure he and the guys were a hell a lot smarter when it came to the business.

But then Jax had given him a blessing he didn't know that he would cherish so much and that was becoming a grandfather. Clay can proudly state and admit that his grandchildren had him wrapped around his fingers and were his whole world. So when Kyle had bailed on Jax and let him get arrested during the Mayan shoot out it took everything in Clay's strength not to vote for the fucker to meet Mr. Mayhem. Kyle had failed his brother and Jax lost five years with his family. Frankly, Clay isn't surprised that Kyle didn't complete what was required of him after being excommunicated.

Jax shrugs his shoulders.

"Bobby said you got a name and face. Guys a Fed."

Jax stands up straighter. "Yeah, he even went to Noelle's store."

Clay huffs as he moves and begins pacing in circles. "Do I need to call Hap?"

"I'll handle it."

Clay nods his head. "How are my grandkids?"

Jax lips quirk up a little. "They're good."

Clay comes forward and cups the back of his neck. "I'm proud of you, son."

He's proud that he can say he helped shape the man and father Jax has become today.

Jax smiles and embraces Clay.


	14. The Cause

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Here is another update. I hope you guys enjoy it. Pardon all the grammar mistakes and all that jazz.

* * *

Jax wipes his sleepy eyes and he finds that the house is quiet – too quiet. He moves out of bed and checks his kids' rooms and frowns when he finds them empty. He doesn't like the feeling that makes his stomach heavy as he hasn't even found a trace of Noelle in the house either. It makes his feet move faster until he releases a relieved breath as he finds Noelle sitting at the kitchen table by herself with a cup of coffee.

Jax comes up to her and presses a kiss to her forehead. "Where's the kids?"

"Lena came down and surprised them." She informs him to his own surprise.

He begins making his own cup of coffee and is worried by her silence when he takes a seat from across of her. "What's wrong?"

"What did you do to Kyle last night?" She asks him quietly.

Jax sighs as he really isn't surprised by the question. He rubs his hands down his face as he thinks how the guys handled that Kyle didn't get his tattoo removed. Even though the stench of burning flesh makes his stomach turn, Kyle knew the consequence if they ever found out. And in some sick sort of way he had gotten some satisfaction from hurting Kyle.

"He didn't get all his tattoos removed." He tells her simply. The kicker of it all was that Kyle was so gung ho about being invited back to the clubhouse that he didn't even care he would be missing his kid playing in his band.

Noelle nods her head, but he knows she really doesn't care about that. "Did that Fed approach you again?" He asks quietly.

Noelle shakes her head and she sits up straighter. "I don't really think the Fed is here for SAMCRO."

Jax furrows his brows. "What are you talking about?"

Noelle rubs her forehead as she stands up and dumps her coffee in the sink. "It's just a feeling Jax."

"Babe?"

Noelle takes a deep breath as she doesn't know how Jax will take her theory. Right now she knows she doesn't want to have to deal with him proclaiming that she is being paranoid or anything. It might set her off and cause both of them to snap at each other.

"When he came into the shop, he bought some stuff," she begins and Jax nods his head. "He bought things for a girlfriend who happens to be a Neo-Natal surgeon in Chicago."

She watches as Jax processes her words and it doesn't seem to be clicking as he looks confused until it dawns on him.

Jax opens his mouth, but the door to the house opens and Chibs steps through. "We have a situation brutha."

Jax nods his head as he stands up from the table and approaches Noe, "We'll talk about this later."

She nods her head and he presses a kiss to her lips.

…

"Jesus Christ." Jax mutters as he looks at the dead body in the kitchen. The cause of death could be from the bullets and the final blow from a knife being embedded in the back of his head. He rubs his face as this is the last thing he really wants to deal with.

"Sorry, brother." Clay says voice tight with sympathy. "What happened?"

T.O, the Grim Bastards president trying to reign in his grief and anger, "I found him like this. Bullets killed him. Knife was a message."

"From who?" Chibs questions.

"It's buried in his skull." T.O says hotly.

"Calaveras." Jax answers for Chibs

"Yeah. Had to be Salazar." T.O points out.

"Anybody else see this?" Opie asks from next to Jax.

"No. Baby mama's got his kids"

."911?" Happy ponders gruffly.

T.O shakes his head. "Didn't call, man. The things we're gonna do to the Mexicans, best no one puts motive on us."

Clay's head snaps up, "Retaliation's tricky, T. The deal we made with the Mayans? It's barely a day old. Alvarez still has a connection to the Calaveras."

Bobby nods his head in agreement. "And we have to vet all things Mexican before we do anything else."

"And if Alvarez says no?" T.O fires back with barely contained rage. "Huh? What then? This is because we backed up Sam Crow."

Jax holds back his sigh as in a way he knows this is true, but this is the outlaw life they chose to have. "Come on, man. We got to bring Alvarez into the loop, or he's gonna think we crossed him."

"Race and rally in the barrio out today. Mayans are sponoring and I'm guessing those wetback skulls are gonna be there." Tig informs them.

"Give Alvarez a call. Tell him we're coming down." Clay orders his Sergeant at Arms.

"Bastards are going." T.O insists.

Clay sighs and compromises. "Take two guys, T. All right? We-We're going for Intel, not for battle."

T.O scoffs.

…

Jax isn't surprised with the way the meet went with Alvarez and the Calaveras. Jax still thinks even with stripping the idiotic president of his Patch isn't going to help that the Calaveras aren't cut for the outlaw life. If anything half of them look like they just graduated from the 8th grade. Plus considering how easily Hector squealed about what Alvarez wanted with the Calaveras, he thinks the Mayan president needs to find some crew with a bigger back bone.

…

What people would find most surprising is that Clay Morrow loves pillow talk. Then there wasn't much that Clay kept secret from his wife. So after Clay came home from dealing with the Mayans and Kyle, Gemma was taken back by another little nugget that no one had informed her of especially when it regarded her grandchildren.

She had seen how something happened with the way Addie was clinging to Jax before he left. Her granddaughter was spooked about something, but Gemma had seen nothing out of the ordinary. And she knew she wasn't going to receive anything from Noelle if she asked especially in such a public place. But her grandchildren were glued to her side following that and there was a time and place for everything. If there was something serious going on she would know.

But nothing could have prepared her for Clay telling her that some grown man – a Fed – had approached her granddaughter asking questions. This Fed obviously had a death wish and she was even more infuriated with her husband that he didn't know any more details regarding what this Fed wanted.

She was holding back the need to throttle her husband and she made sure he got an ear full last night. And she couldn't wait until she sees her son.

"Hey, Gem, we need to get the Cutlass off the lot. Do you mind calling the owner," Lowell says from the door.

Gemma perks her head up and nods her head. "Cutlass you said?" She asks as she begins to go through paper work.

"Yeah, I think it's Tara."

Gemma pulls the paperwork to calculate the cost when an idea pops in her head. "Hey, Lowell, you want to go for a ride?"

…

Gemma smiles at the look of disbelief on Tara's face as she dangles the keys in front of the good doctor before dropping them into her hands. Gemma doesn't wait for an invitation as she walks into the Knowles' home.

"You drove it here?" Tara questions.

"I'm thinkin', uh, me and you got off to a bad start. It's my way of saying sorry."

"That's nice of you. Thanks." Tara replies skeptically.

Gemma nods her head as she takes off her sunglasses and looks at the very packed house. She knew Tara's dad was a drunk, but not a hoarder. "Wow. You weren't kidding about the clutter."

"Uh, workin' through a room at a time."

Gemma picks up a photo of Tara's old man and is surprised to find that before he became a raging drunk he was actually a good looking guy. "Oh, wow. Your dad was real handsome. Kinda nuts, but cute.

"Yeah." Tara replies shortly. "Why are you here, Gemma?"

"Your car." Gemma says.

"Yeah, the Good Samaritan bit's not really playing. What do you want?"

Gemma takes a good look at the woman her son was so crazy in love with. Sometimes she did wonder what would have happened if Tara would've stayed, but she thinks it would have never worked. Some people didn't belong in this life and Tara was one of them. Tara's default for everything was to run and she knew when times would get tough or even being left to raise three babies alone, Tara would've bailed.

"You left Charming because it was incestuous backward and small-minded. That's pretty much an exact quote. I don't forget. You leave Chicago to come back to this- shit-filled house, mediocre gig at a community hospital." Gemma points out. It didn't fit Tara's M.O unless she was running from something and Gemma knew she was.

"I needed to tie up family business."

"People don't upend their lives to pack up a dead relative's house."

"You seem to be spending a lot of time and energy worrying about my life. Do I scare you that much, Gemma?"

Gemma almost laughs at Tara's words. If anything she was familiar with the wreckage Tara could bring down on people. She knows her son isn't stupid and she isn't worried about him stepping out on Noelle. But she's worried about what mess Tara could have possibly brought to Charming. "I don't forget. I'm not worried about you. Just the people you touch. Stay clear of Jax."

Tara releases a derisive smirk. "We're not 19 years old anymore. You can't dictate what he does, who he sees-"

"I'm his mother, and until I am dead and cold I am gonna do anything I have to do to protect him and his family. You do remember that Jax is happily married with three kids." Gemma rubs in the good doctor's face. She jumps with joy inside as she can see Jax's family hits a nerve with Tara. She finds it almost pathetic Tara would assume Jax would still be pining for her after all these years. Gemma slides on her sunglasses as she is satisfied with her work. She heads to the door, but stops. "Oh. And, uh I'm not sure why you're carrying a gun but if you're gonna use one make sure to be safe." Gemma digs into her purse for the gun she thought would suit Tara. "No serial numbers."

…

Noelle finds herself heading over to Charming PD on her lunch break. Luckily, Unser isn't there as she knows her coming to the station would find it's way to Jax. Heading in she finds the man she is looking for talking to the receptionist and she can tell he is surprised to see her there.

"How can I help you, Noelle?" David asks as he abandons his conversation.

"Can I talk to you in private?" She asks.

David nods his head as she leads her into his office and shuts the door.

"Is everything okay, Noelle?" David asks concerned.

"How well do you know that ATF agent?" She asks quietly.

Hale looks at her quietly before he releases a chuckle. "You know I expected Gemma to have taught you to be less subtle in trying to extort information."

"This isn't about getting information on some bullshit investigation." Noelle fires back taking the Deputy by surprise. "This man approached my kids."

David freezes. "What are you talking about?"

"They were at the park and he approached them. Spooked Addison." She tells him. "I just want to know if you really know who you're getting into bed with because I don't think he is here for SAMCRO."

"Who do you think he is here for?"

"Tara." She tells him.

"Can I ask why you believe that?"

"I just do. Can you please just look into him. I know you don't care about Jax or the club, but can you do this for my children." She almost begs.

He nods his head. "Of course, I'm sorry, Noelle."

"Thanks, David."

…

Lena is starting to think her sister is Superwoman because right now she doesn't know how her sister had managed three energetic Tellers. It's barely noon and Lena finds herself worn out watching after her nephews and niece. She knows most of the energy is from her being there, but she is glad they are distracted by her coming down to visit after her late night phone call from her sister. Lena really wanted to take the kids to Davis with her to wait for whatever was happening to cool down. She knows Noelle wouldn't mind, but it would be convincing Jax to let his kids out of his sight. But for now she is happy entertaining the kids except she has noticed something since she left Noelle's house.

The kids haven't noticed it and she really doesn't want to draw attention to it, but she knows she will as she turns onto a nondescript street.

She parks the car and it draws confusion from the kids especially AJ.

"What's going on?" Noah asks from the passenger seat.

"Lock the doors," Lena tells them as she moves out of the car.

"Should we call Dad?" Addie asks from the backseat.

"Lock the doors, Addie," Lena tells her again as she shuts the door and approaches the man who is parked two vehicles back and smirking at her.

Lena flashes a smile while she digs into her boot for her Ka-Bar knife. She watches as the man's smug smile falls as she stabs his precious front tire.

"What the hell!" The man exclaims as he gets out of the car. "That's six month in county."

"And tell me how long do you get for stalking minors?" She tosses back. "Because trust me I have no problem in calling your superiors."

"SAMCRO doesn't talk to the cops."

"Good thing I'm not SAMCRO." She tells him as she walks back to her car.

The kids are looking at her scared as she starts the car and she zooms to the clubhouse.

…

Pulling into the lot, luckily Jax is there and is smoking at the picnic table with Opie and Bobby. She doesn't bother finding a parking space as she parks right in front where he is sitting.

"We need to talk. _Now_." She tells him through the window.

The kids scramble out of the car to hug their dad before Jax directs them to their uncles. Jax motions for her to follow him into the chapel.

"What's going on?"

"That ATF agent was following me and the kids the whole morning." She tells him.

"And you didn't call me?"

"The last thing your family needs is you going to jail for killing a Fed." She retorts.

"Where is he now?"

"I sliced his tires a few blocks from Main. He was driving a Compact." She tells him.

It's all he needs before he rushes out of the Chapel. "Jax, where are you going!" She shouts as she rushes to keep up with him as he practically runs to his bike. "Jax!" She shouts as he straddles his bike and zooms out of the lot. "Fuck!"

…

All Jax can see is red. He finds the silver car with the tires sliced and he wishes he had a bat to trash the vehicle even more. He knows that trashing the vehicle wouldn't do anything to stave off his bloodlust. Luckily there is a neighbor who is watching as he looks at the vehicle and does his civic duty in telling him that he saw the guy walking towards Main Street.

Jax makes the two minute drive to Main and parks in the middle. There isn't a lot of places the man could go and it seems he isn't in a hurry to call Teller Morrow for a tow. He can rule out Noelle's shop as she would have called immediately if the man had set foot in there. However, Jax thinks he needs to think like this man. He wants to ruffle feathers and he knows the guy will probably get off him being in rage and possibly rushing to Noelle's side.

So he looks at the three stores that have perfect view of Noelle's shop. And the only one he can imagine the man going into is Floyd's.

Jax stalks into the shop and finds Floyd giving the man a hot shave. Luckily Floyd is a perceptive man as he can see how tense he is and walks away to let him handle business as he enters with no greeting.

Kohn is unsuspecting as he lays back exposed. Jax thinks it would be easy to stab the man right in the throat. Jax almost laughs as Kohn tries to jump out of the chair when he opens his eyes to find him standing over him.

"You wanna go to war with me, you sick piece of shit!" Jax spits as he hauls the man up and Jax isn't too far gone in his anger to mess up Floyd's shop, but it doesn't stop him from throwing him throw the glass window.

They obviously don't teach self-defense to Feds as Jax easily maintains the advantage as he pounds into Kohn. He watches as he busts the man's nose and his rings make cuts in the guy's face. However, the little shit fights dirty as he feels a pair of scissors in his legs and it makes Jax bounce the man's head off the pavement. He doesn't hear the sirens approaching or even Hale as the Deputy drags him off Kohn, who is laying bloody.

Jax doesn't calm down until he finds small smooth hands cupping his face and Noelle floods his vision. "Jax, you need to calm down."

Jax takes a deep breath and he goes lax in Hale's hold. He watches as Noelle frowns at him before she looks down at his leg. He then feels the searing pain and he leans against a patrol car. "Jesus, Jax." Noelle mutters at him.

Jax looks at her with no apology in his eyes and she steps between his legs and looks at his red hands. "He was following the kids." Is all he tells her before Hale approaches with a contemplative look. "After the paramedics check you out, I need you at the station for your statement."

Jax nods his head as he doesn't object.

"I want you at the clubhouse, Noe." He tells his wife. "You stay with a patch or my mom."

"Okay," she agrees before she places a kiss on his lips and moves out of the way so the paramedics can check his leg.

…

Jax thinks even if Floyd didn't cover up for him, Kohn was still neck deep in shit as he had violated an apparent restraining order he had filed against him. Yet, even though Noelle had suspected Tara being behind why Kohn was here, he wasn't prepared for that particular bombshell that he was stalking Tara and it didn't take long for Jax to deduce that was why Tara fled Chicago. With his leg hurting like a bitch, somehow he manages to make it to the clubhouse. He spots Lena's car on the lot, but not Noelle's and he frowns but he doesn't see Opie's or Chibs' bike either. He limps into the office where he finds his mom looking over paperwork.

"How's your leg?" She asks.

Jax limps to the couch and sighs at the relief of pressure. "Fine."

"You know Tara has a restraining order against him? Gemma asks.

Jax nods his head, but narrows his eyes at his mother. "How do you know?"

"I was suspicious of her motive for coming back. So I did a little research." She tells him.

"Jesus Christ, Ma." He mutters. He was annoyed that his mom found Tara important enough to him that he would need to dig into Tara's motive for returning to Charming.

"What?"

"I don't know how to many times I need to say this or what, but Tara is not fucking important to me. What she does is her own fucking business. I don't need Noelle around this shit thinking Tara has some kind of hold on me."

"I know, baby –" His mom tries to soothe.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have bothered if I didn't have a hunch. And it turns out I was fucking right." His mom says defending herself. "And you know I am concerned because the bitch has you doing her dirty work."

Jax's eyes flash dangerously. "He was following the kids, Ma."

"I know, but the point of the matter is that she still came back here. And I don't care if she says she didn't expect you to be here because she knew you would." His mom tells him. "She came back here fearing for her life because she knew there was one guy in the whole world that would have no problem putting a Fed through a plate glass window. And if I can piece that together so can Noelle and all of fucking Charming."

…

Jax finds himself furious with the way his mom's words stick with him. Most of all he hates that he knows it is the truth. So he finds that it is better to go to the source than listening to everyone else. He grabs a bottle of Jack to dull the pain in his leg as he seats outside on the steps of Tara's childhood home. He finds himself regretting this as he has already been waiting for almost two hours for her to show and people are looking at him curiously as to why he is sitting on the steps.

Eventually headlights flood his vision and the Cutlass pulls into the driveway.

"Jesus. Are you okay?" She asks as she joins the steps and sits next to him.

"Yeah." He replies gruffly.

"Hale told me what happened." She says as she looks down at his leg.

"Kohn's gone. I watched him leave town."

"Thank you." She tells him with a smile and her hand reaches out to his arm and gives it a squeeze, but the look he shots her as her recoiling. "What is it?"

Jax looks at Tara and he wonders why he was so in love with her back in the day. Back then he could find a good lay anywhere. Sure, she was smart and didn't fall into his charms too quickly which enticed him, but other than that when it came down to it, they were truly polar opposites. And now that he had finally allowed himself to be here with Tara, he compares her and Noelle for the first time.

Both women were smart and for the most part never took his shit. But he realizes that Tara never really knew him. She knew this outlaw biker persona that everyone else did. Noelle knew who he was without the kutte. She knew his greatest fears and his aspirations. She knew him intimately and in a way that didn't make him weaker like it did with Tara, but stronger. There was also the fact, Noelle didn't put up with his shit. Tara would easily make it a back and forth game of who could reach their limit in pissing each other off the fastest. Noelle would nip that shit in the bud with clip concise words where he didn't know if he wanted to kill her or kiss her half the time.

But the most striking difference was that Noelle never needed to be saved. She wouldn't allow someone else to do that. With Tara, he had saved her from her drunken daddy. Saved her from his abuse and kept her save. Hell he practically beat on any guy that disrespected her during their wild courtship and like he did years ago, he fell back in her little snare.

"You left Chicago 'cause you were afraid this guy was gonna hurt you." He states.

"One of the reasons." She admits.

Jax looks at her right in the eyes and she has trouble meeting his gaze. Something Noelle has no problem in ever doing in the thick of things. "Did you come back here 'cause you knew I'd hurt this guy - do what the cops wouldn't do?"

"God, no." She says instantly, but Jax isn't so sure he believes her. "I had no idea he would follow me. L- I didn't know you'd even still be here."

He hates that she tells him everything that his mother said she would.

"That doesn't sound like you, Jax. It sounds like your mother." She tells him bitterly.

"My kids got caught up in this Tara," he tells her. "They could've gotten hurt."

At this, she at least looks guilty. "I'm sorry, Jax. I didn't think Josh would go that far."

"Well, you're safe now." He tells her as he moves off the steps and to his bike.

…

Jax arrives home to a quiet dark house. He finds Lena and the kids all passed out in the living room. It appears they made their own pillow fort as blankets and sheets are thrown everywhere. He smiles and is surprised his wife isn't out there with them.

Just to double check, he checks all the room to make sure there isn't the presence of anyone else before he makes it to the bedroom where Noelle is sleeping peacefully.

He strips off his clothes down to his boxers before he slides into bed. He comes up behind Noelle and presses a kiss to her shoulder.

He smiles as she sighs and burrows into him in her sleep.

"I love you, Noe," he whispers before his eyes flutter shut.


	15. Photographs

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Hopefully I caught all the grammar mistakes because there were alot lol. As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows.

* * *

Noelle wakes to Jax running his fingers through her blonde hair, no doubt making it even more of a mess. She stretches her body as she cracks all her kinks before she burrows back into her husband for his warmth. His fingers still and he wraps his arm around her as he presses a kiss to her head. Noelle smiles as she responds by placing a kiss on his chest. She was worried about him since she hadn't seen him once he left with Hale to head to the station after he had thrown Kohn through a plate glass window.

She moves her hand over his left leg where she can feel a bandage and a couple stitches. "How's the leg?"

"I'll live." He tells her.

She fights the urge to pitch and smack him.

"You scared the shit out of me, Jax." She expresses him as she was worried her husband was going to get carted away for killing a Fed. She didn't know how she was going to explain that one to the kids.

"I'm sorry, babe," he says and presses a kiss to her head again. "He shouldn't be a problem though. I watched him leave town. Told Tara too?"

Noelle leans up off Jax at that. "You talked to Tara?" She says slowly.

Jax nods his head as he leans up on his forearms. "You were right."

Noelle fights the urge to mock the words: _I told ya so_.

Instead, she bites the childish need to gloat. "And what did she have to say about it?"

"She admitted to that he was one of the reasons she came back to Charming."

Noelle raises an eyebrow at that. "And what were those other reasons?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders. "Don't matter anyway."

"I don't want her around the kids or even involved in with AJ's medical stuff." She tells Jax.

"If that's what you want," Jax says as he lays back down and flexes his leg a little, which causes him to hiss.

"You need something for the pain?" Noelle asks as she throws the blanket off his leg completely and gets a good look at his injury. Jax is surprised how much a dainty pair of scissors could do.

"Actually, I do know of a certain pain reliever that will make me feel better," Jax says cheekily.

Noelle laughs at him while his hands begin pulling up her nightie without any resistance. "You just never quit do you?"

Jax flashes a wolfish grin at her in response as he manages to pull the satin dress off his wife's body with no objection and she straddles his waist.

…

Jax walks into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist and finds Lena at the kitchen table eating a very big bowl of cereal. He's curious where his sister in law in putting it as she is a thin little thing.

"Bowl big enough?" He questions as he grabs a pair of jeans out of the laundry room connected to the kitchen.

"No, not really." Lena replies before she begins to drink very loudly the milk out of the bowl, which is actually a mixing bowl. Jax only wonders how expensive Lena's grocery bill is.

"You okay after yesterday?" Jax asks his sister in law. He knows that Lena has a scrappy past, but she never had to face the law.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I've had worse." He tells her with a shrug on his shoulders. He didn't have any regrets for throwing Kohn through the window. The guy made a bad career move going after his family.

Lena places her bowl in the sink, "Do we know why he was here?"

Jax nods his head. "He's gone. Isn't a problem."

"Next time, I advise not to be so public in beating a man who happens to be a Fed."

Jax chuckles before he heads to the back to finish getting dressed.

…

With Half Sack getting put to work in stocking products on her shelves, Noelle is with her sister at the cash register.

It seems to be a slow day for the store or Noelle believes people are being wary of her after Jax's very public display of violence yesterday. But she finds herself not too annoyed by it.

"So the only reason this guy came down here is because of Tara?" Lena asks.

Noelle had relayed everything to her sister including her suspicions about Tara's arrival to Charming. It seemed Lena was thinking along the same lines as her.

"I guess."

"Well ain't that shit." Lena says with a laugh. "Mighty pompous of the Good Doctor."

"Well it doesn't matter because Jax still did her dirty work." Noelle mutters.

"Yeah because that bastard had approached the kids. If he didn't, I don't think Jax would've done anything besides telling Hale to handle it."

Noelle doesn't have anything to say to that as she taps her fingers along the counter top.

"Noe…"

The mother of three sighs. "I just don't like her, okay."

And Noelle hates admitting it because she feels like acknowledging it makes Tara some sort of threat. It reveals her vulnerability. And she hates the feeling it brings her. Hates that Tara can make her feel like this. And it wasn't that she didn't trust Jax because Noelle did. It was more so how Tara just waltzed back and still somehow got Jax to do her dirty work.

She is annoyed and frustrated. And she didn't know how to navigate this situation really. Because Tara hasn't outright done anything that would call her to action. Noelle also isn't the type of person to confront someone because if she made the first move it would show Tara that she was getting to her.

"There's nothing wrong with that." Lena states. "Sarah doesn't particularly like a few of my exes that we came across and I'm sure Jax doesn't like seeing some of your ex-boyfriends."

"But you know how Jax is." Noelle refutes. When they rarely come across one of her ex-boyfriends, Jax is smugger than anything. He has no problem in being boastful that he is happily married to her. If anything he doesn't care about anyone before him because he may not have been her first and only, but he is most certainly her last.

"Yeah, you make a point." Lena admits about Jax. "From what I hear about Tara, even though I wouldn't mind you throwing a few punches, it might be best to keep your distance."

"You're right. I just…"

"Don't like her." Lena finishes.

…

"That's kind of fucked up," Opie says after Jax tells him everything in sordid details about Tara and Kohn. As Jax tells his best friend everything, he finds himself getting angrier about it. He can't believe he fell into a fucking trap or the fact Tara has placed his children in fucking danger.

Despite her fucking words, he knows with his whole being that Tara came back to Charming thinking she still had ties in him. She came back here knowing that despite their bad breakup he wouldn't allow her to be in the crossfire of danger. And maybe his anger was from that there is a sliver of truth in there. Yet, he knows if he didn't have Noelle and the kids, and he can't even imagine a world without them, he wouldn't just get back with Tara.

They had their time and history between them and he wasn't interested in a repeat. After all, if she ran before about his Life, she was bound to run from it again. But this was all hypotheticals about something that was irrelevant to him.

"She isn't even my fucking old lady and she's causing me a headache." Jax tells Opie.

"No love lost?" Opie asks him.

Jax looks at his friend incredulous as if that should even be a question. Every woman pales in comparison to his wife. Jax never looked at other women or was tempted to fuck up what he had with Noelle. And Jax and Noelle had worked hard to maintain what they had. He worked hard for Noelle. Loving her was easy, but making that shit work and allowing himself to be vulnerable and to trust her in ways that he didn't trust anyone or himself was the hard part. And for no one, he wasn't about to let his wife slip through his fingers. He would be a fucking mess without Noelle and the kids.

And no woman past or present is going to come between him and his family.

"Noelle's it for me. I wouldn't have married her or knocked her ass up three times if she wasn't."

"I have no doubt about it," Opie says in agreement. "But making shit work isn't easy especially in this Life. You think she is going to stay in Charming?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders. He thinks her only incentive to being in Charming was because Kohn was around abusing the law. She was safe and free to practice back in Chicago or whatever. "What's keeping her here now?"

…

Coming home, Noelle is still at work and the kids are out back with Lena playing around with some of their water toys with the new slip and slide Jax gave move to Lena to buy.

Even though he finds himself wanting to join his kids on the fun, he still finds himself to be irritable about Tara and Kohn and he doesn't that around his kids.

Instead, he heads into the garage to work on a bike he is slowly restoring. He thinks before Noah becomes too distracted by school and eventually college, he wouldn't mind finding a bike Noah would like and restore it with him. He plans to do the same thing for AJ will he gets older.

So he smokes a cigarette as he strips the bike of parts and cleans them. He whistles to the radio as he begins to relax. After all, the Kohn situation has been handled and they have a truce with the Mayans and for once it seems club and family shit is all good.

"Dad?"

Jax whips his head over to the back door of the garage and finds Addie standing at the door soaking wet, but with a can of pop in her hands.

Her tilts his head giving her the okay to come in and she hands him over a pop.

"You having a good time, darlin'?" He asks her as she takes a seat in a desk chair and spins in it.

"Yeah," she replies. "How's your leg?"

Jax looks down at his leg and honestly forgot about it and the pain. "Worried about your old man?" He teases as he leans back against the table.

He laughs as she scowls at him, a direct replica of her mother, but then she purses her lips in a thin line. "Is that guy gone now?" She asks him quietly.

"Yeah, I watched him leave town." He tells his daughter. He kneels down and looks her into her brown eyes. "As long as I'm alive nothing bad is ever going to happen to you, your brothers, or your mom."

Addie nods her head and gives him reassuring smile. He ruffles her growing hair, which startles her as she tries to get out of the chair as she laughs. But he can tell that his daughter has more on her mind. "Something else the matter?"

"Was that man here because of Dr. Knowles?" She questions timidly.

Jax sighs as he is slightly concerned how she was able to even connect those dots. He knows from now on him and Noelle and everyone else is going to have to be real careful when they are talking about things.

"Where'd you hear that from?" He asks her.

She looks at him with a blank face that she most likely learned from her grandmother as she shrugs her shoulders, "Around."

"Addie." He presses.

She sighs, "I heard Mom and you talking about it."

"You shouldn't be listening to grown folk conversations, Addie," he scolds softly.

"I didn't mean too." She says guilty.

Jax sighs as he stands next to his daughter and brings her into a hug. He presses a kiss to her head. "I know, baby."

He thinks his kids are growing up way to fast.

"How did you and Mom first meet and I'm not talking about when she began tutoring you, but your first encounter?" She asks him softly. Her brown eyes are imploring in his blue ones.

Jax whistles as he tries to think about that. He knows Noelle moved to town when she was 14; he would always see her around and they were aware of each other. "Well you know your mom moved here when she was 14." Addie nods her head. Jax rubs his growing beard as he tries to think of their first encounter, he would think that it would be something that would pop up immediately. But he thinks hard as he knows they didn't actually talk to each other in high school first. He also knows that he didn't encounter her at Teller Morrow, and he scours through his memory.

And then it hits him, he remembers exactly the first time he had talked to Noelle. It was an off chance encounter, it had been a few months since she moved into town. He was still riding his fucking Huffy bike heading to Opie's when he found her walking down the street in itty bitty shorts and tank top chewing on bubble gum.

He and Tara was a fresh thing at that point, but he couldn't help but be distracted by the sight of Noelle.

He had slowed his bike down next to her and he didn't hit on her. Instead, he told her that she shouldn't be walking alone. She looked at him and he remembers almost laughing as she recited the safety statistics to him with a cheeky smile that gave her away. He remembers asking if she knew who he was and he only got the question repeated back to him. She had refused his offer of a ride, but he couldn't help the stroll pace he had on his bike as he followed her to her friend's place.

"She was walking to a friend's house and I was going to Uncle's Ope's." He tells his daughter.

"And did you like Mom then?"

"I always liked your mom," he tells her truthfully.

Addie throws him a smile that he doesn't try to decipher. "When did you know that you wanted to marry Mom?"

"It was after a couple months after Noah was born."

"You didn't want to marry her before?" She asks with a scrunched nose.

"Well, your mom probably wouldn't have taken to kindly thinking I was only asking because she was pregnant." Jax tells his daughter truthfully. "And we were both young, Ads." He wasn't about to tell his daughter that he was unsure that him and Noelle were going to even last. He was aware that just because they had Noah didn't guarantee anything between them.

"Do you think you and Mom are going to have another baby?" She asks him seriously and completely changing the topic of conversation.

Jax chuckles, "I don't know about that one, Ads."

…

Even if the Calaveras were a low ranking club, they were still a club and a threat to be wrecked with. Crews knew who they were and after all, they were known enough that the Mayans had no problem in wanting to patch them over and do some of their work.

Hector Salazar made sure that shit happened.

Hector had been in and out of juvie since he was 10 and did five years total in Chino. He was only 15 when he had been taken under the wing of Seth Romero, President of the Calaveras, taught him the ropes of the outlaw lifestyle. Groomed him to take over for the Calaveras. And three years ago, Hector had gotten to be the King.

He knew when he was younger that his crew was low leveled while Seth was alive. Seth apparently seemed to like that. They didn't need to be top dogs as long as they had respect, money, bitches to fuck, and life was good. But Hector was hungrier – more ambitions.

But now his cred and fucking life was in shambles. Alvarez has picked some fucking white trash bikers over his own kind. He got stripped of his patch by a whole other fucking crew because of those white boys.

Hector was burning with rage and Louisa bitching about it every two seconds wasn't helping. He needed time to think and calculate and not her yapping her mouth at him for the apparent disrespect as if he didn't already know.

But he knows that he can't hurt Alvarez, at least not yet or openly. And if anything his anger is really targeted at that fucking pretty white boy, Jax Teller. After all he was the one to bust his nose and to even initiate that he needed to be stripped of his patch.

And Hector was going to make the puta pay. He was going to make Jax Teller hurt.

Thankfully Louisa had a shift at the nursing home and he was left with some piece of quiet. After all, they still needed money. Moving out of bed, he begins his routine by pissing and brushing his teeth he begins to walk into the kitchen we he finds a yellow envelope on the floor that was apparently slid under the door.

Stepping forward he finds his name written on it. He furrows his brows as he picks it up and he peers through the windows to see if anyone is watching him before he heads back into the kitchen.

Opening it, he pulls out a stack of paper along with a business card clipped to it with the ATF emblem stamped on it. His eyebrows rise at that, but he becomes distracted by the photo of a pretty fucking hot blonde, if he can admit to himself, smiling talking on the phone by herself. The next one is of her with three rug rats and it doesn't fucking click at what he is seeing until he looks at a photo of a young boy and he knows he recognizes that face.

He knows that he is looking at the family of Jax Teller.


	16. Broken Window Theory

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Here is another update. I hope you guys enjoy it. We are only have a few chapters left! Please forgive me for all the grammar and spelling errors!

* * *

"Come on, Dad!" Noah whines to Jax. "It's not like we're moving anytime soon."

Jax folds his arms across his chest as he looks at his oldest. "I said no."

"But _Dad_ , we're going to outgrow the slip in slide." Noah counters to him as he is not backing down from his stance. Jax hides his smile as with the way his son is scrunching his nose and those ocean eyes dark with determination the boy is the spitting image of his mother.

"And you and Mom will be able to use it too." AJ pipes up alongside his older brother.

"You guys can use the community pool like everyone else." Jax tells them.

"Why would we do that we can do it conveniently in our backyard? Save gas in having to take us there." Noah says. "It's an investment in the long run."

Jax tugs on his beard as he looks at their spacious backyard. He wasn't about to tell his son that the reason he was saying no to the pool was because he was thinking about moving his family into a new home. He's unsure of how Noelle would feel about the uprooting considering the kids grew up here and this would be a potential third move. But the house was getting crowded. He loved this house, don't get him wrong. But they could use a little more space if he and Noelle planned to have another kid. He is sure Noah and AJ wouldn't want to bunk rooms. Because if he was being honest with himself he had no problem taking his son to go look at pools now, but he had to keep up the act. So he appeases them slightly.

"I'll think about it."

The boys high five each other before they scramble to go into the backyard.

He smiles at them as the boys remind him of him and Thomas. He remembers how Thomas would follow him everywhere as AJ does to Noah. He remembers how Thomas would want to emulate everything he did. Jax would let him. He would entertain his little brother with silly games. He would always makes sure that he felt included in things despite his heart getting weaker each day. As he looks at his youngest, he wonders how his mom and dad even managed to cope with such a loss.

It hurt as a brother to lose Thomas, but he can't even fathom the pain his mom felt and still feels to this day. He can't even imagine his life without his children and to think he almost lost one makes his own heart weaker.

And he thinks that maybe he and Noelle would be testing their luck with having a fourth kid. They got lucky that Noah and Addie didn't inherit the family flaw. They were lucky that AJ even pulled through.

Arms snake around his waist and a kiss is planted to his shoulder and he smiles as his wife nestles into him.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks him.

"Thomas," he tells her truthfully. "AJ reminds me of him."

Noelle is quiet for a couple minutes before she moves from besides him to his front. "I don't know if I have another pregnancy in me Jax. We got lucky with AJ. I don't think I can risk another child."

"I know," he tells her. And they both can admit that besides being reckless neither of them really thought seriously how he did have a heart disease that ran into the family. Since Noah and Addie were born with strong beating hearts they were naïve to think that their third one would be born just the same. "A part of me misses you pregnant."

"You like when I look like a beach whale."

Jax chuckles. "You're beautiful when pregnant."

Noelle rolls her eyes as she sees straight through him. "You just like to rub it into everyone that I warm your bed every night."

"You do more than warm it up for me." He replies.

"I'm not getting off birth control." She tells him seriously.

"Hey that didn't stop me before." He jokes as she punches him in the shoulder before he brings her in for a kiss.

Noelle wraps her arms around Jax's neck and they separate for air and she sighs as his lips trail down to her jaw than neck. She can already feel warmth blooming in her lower belly. Jax has just reached her lips again when the phone begins to go off.

She pulls back a little, but Jax practically swallows her tongue.

"Ignore it," he tells her.

And she's going to as he brings her back into another kiss as it seems he is intent on practicing making babies, but the phone goes off again and she realizes it's the house phone. That phone rarely goes off and when it does it's usually for Addie as Ellie is calling, but Addie is with her. Panic momentarily blooms and she pulls back from Jax.

"Wait, it could be important."

Jax sighs, but his hold on her goes lax and she goes into the kitchen to answer it.

…

At first, she thought the damage wasn't going to be that bad. She thought it was going to be a few broken windows and maybe some of her inventory stolen. Yet, as Hale had told her, her store – her baby – was thoroughly vandalized. All her windows were broken, but then a person had took a blunt instrument, a bat most likely according to Hale, to all her shelves and counter space. The store was becoming overwhelming nauseating from the broken glass jars.

Her store was absolutely wrecked.

And the worst of it was that hers was the only store to be vandalized.

She knows Hale was quick to point out that whatever the club was getting tangled up in could be the cause. For a moment she thought maybe that Kohn bastard hadn't left town, but Jax assured her he had.

Once the police left and insurance got their pictures, she had locked herself in her office, and that was even trashed. They had smashed her computer. Someone had dumped all her files over the floor, her desk turned over, all her pictures of Jax and the kids smashed.

And that was where Jax found her, in her office, sobbing as she tried to clean up some of the mess. She had managed to keep a control of her crying in front of the police and the crowd that had formed. Now with Jax joining her on the floor, his arms wrapping around her, she can't help, but cry even harder into his chest.

…

Jax can't stop his leg from shaking or keep the scowl off his face as he lights his cigarette. He knows whoever trashed Noelle's store was because of him. But the club didn't have any problems with any crews and they were good with the Mayans. His only bet was the Nords, but there wasn't any beef present that some stupid bastard would take their rage for the club on a member's wife.

"They have no leads?" Bobby asks.

"The cameras Noe had were stolen," Jax informs them.

"Shit, brutha," Chibs says sadly. "How's the lil luvie holding up?"

Jax almost crushes his cigarette between his fingers. There is no sugar coating it, his wife is fucking devastated. All her hard work was ruined by a fucking baseball bat. He didn't know how to even comfort her because money to get the store back up and running wasn't an issue. It wouldn't change the fact someone had done this to hurt her – them.

A public attack like this was a sure way to hurt her business.

"I have Half Sack and that new Prospect Filthy Phil helping her. Ma's there too." He tells them.

"We'll figure this out, Jax," Clay tells him.

…

For the first time, Gemma is at a lost as to what to do. She has been able to weather any storm that had hit her family or the club with ease. Yet, this was something she couldn't find a way to balm.

Gemma knows how much this store meant to Noelle. As an Old Lady, she knows this was Noelle's one thing she had outside of Jax and the club. And now someone had ruined the one peace she had.

She knows that she can clean this store up and get it back to how it was before, but the damage has already been done to Noelle.

She realizes that this is the first time she has seen such raw emotion from Noelle. Even when AJ was in and out of the hospital and Jax was gone for five years, Noelle kept everything tightly contained. There may have been a few watery eyes and red noses, but Noelle never had an outburst or breakdown.

But now her devastation couldn't be contained.

Gemma doesn't realize how much this would hurt her to see. She hopes the guys figure out who has done this and she prays her son makes the person pay for it.

Gemma places sweeps her pile of the glass on the dust pan and she turns to the two Prospects that are currently boarding up the windows. "Why don't you two take a break and then come back with lunch. Two clubs, fries, a water and ice tea."

The boys don't object as they exit the store and it only leaves her and Noelle alone.

Gemma sighs as she places her cleaning items down to approach Noelle, who has been busy cataloging the unbroken jars.

As she approaches Noe, whose shoulders still shake from her grief, Gemma thinks the store isn't the only thing that has Noelle distressed. The matriarch thinks it's the combination of Jax being gone, raising three babies alone, and the recent stress of Jax's funk about the prison clause. Gemma approaches her cautiously, like a wounded animal, as she places a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay, baby, let it all out." Gemma tells her.

Noelle takes a shaky breath that mixes with a broken sob. "I'm sorry I keep crying."

"Don't apologize," Gemma tells her.

Noelle wipes her face tracing to erase the lingering tears. "It's just some shit…I'm prepared for, but this was meant to hurt me – Jax." Noelle begins to say before she stops to compose herself. It just hurts because whoever had done this knew that this would sting. It was made personal by going after a member's wife livelihood. Despite being married to Jax and the wealth he has accumulated through his lifestyle, this store was something she did all on her own without his or the club's help. She used her own money for this.

"Jax will find who did this," Gemma insists.

"Then what?"

"What's that supposed to mean?'

Noelle shakes her head. "I need a moment to myself."

…

For the first time since he has been released, Jax is in charge of making his kids dinner. And he hates to admit that he is almost clueless. Jax never was responsible for making elaborate meals. He was good at throwing a grilled cheese together. He could make mac and cheese. Clay had made sure he knew how to operate a grill. Cooking was just something he knew was best left to his wife and mother. But considering it's late, he knows it would take too long to make cheeseburgers, so he pulls a pizza menu off the fridge and orders the kids' usual.

Thankfully as they wait for their food, the kids have no problem getting the dinner table set up and he just knows he is getting set up for an ambush. His kids are too smart for their own good.

"Where's Mommy?" AJ asks getting straight to the point.

Jax sighs as he runs a hand down his face. "Mommy is at her store. Someone broke in."

He watches as his kids process the news. Noah and Addie immediately get it, but AJ furrows his brows. "Someone broke some of Mommy's things in the store," Jax clarifies.

"Do you know who did it?" Noah asks.

Jax shakes his head.

"Is Mom going to be okay?" Addie asks.

"She will be."

"We should make Mommy something," AJ pipes up.

Jax gives his youngest a smile, "I'm sure she would like that."

…

After dinner and the kids brainstorming on what to make for Noelle, Jax stays up to wait for Noelle. She had texted saying that she was going to be late, but it was 11 o'clock and he was becoming anxious. The Prospects were still there, but his mind won't be at ease until she's home and in his arms. After all, the guy who damaged her store is still on the loose.

He's flipping through the channels and is reminded why he doesn't really watch TV as there ain't shit to watch. He almost misses the sound of the door unlocking, but he hears it and stands up as Noelle comes through the door. She seems almost surprised to see him up waiting for her and he can tell that she has been crying.

"Babe…"

It seems his voice as broken the front she was trying to put up as her shoulders begin shaking. Jax goes to his wife and she turns and hugs him tightly while she crumbles.

He holds her tightly in return.

Out of all the shit he has seen in his life, even the moments where one of the kids got hurt and blood would pour; nothing gutted him more than the sight of Noelle crying.

He thinks because it was a rare thing for her to cry.

Every time she does, he looks for immediate ways to soothe her – for her to stop. It wasn't as if he wanted her to repress why she was crying. It was just that he couldn't bear her pain. He could handle stabs and gunshot wounds, but Noelle's pain was something that would cripple him.

And he knows that whoever did this will be meeting the Reaper.

…

Noelle gets ready quietly as Jax is still sleeping. She was surprised that he didn't wake up as she crept out of bed. Despite coming home late last night and finding comfort from Jax's arms, sleep had invaded her.

Her mind was still back in her store picking up broken glass.

She knows that a disgruntled customer didn't trash her store. No one in Charming is that stupid to attack her store knowing who she is married too.

So like Hale had correctly assumed this attack probably lead back to the club. She wanted to be angry at Jax. Maybe even blame him a bit for it, but it would be misdirected and she knows Jax is probably already blaming himself.

She slips on her shoes as she goes to his side of the bed. He has moved to his back and is sprawled across the mattress. She smiles as AJ and Noah sleep the same way when they seem to know they have a bed to themselves.

She leans forward and jostles him lightly; his eyes open slowly in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just letting you know I'm heading out with the kids."

He blinks as he wipes a hand down his face and any sleep seems to have vanished. "How long you staying there?"

"It'll probably be another late night," she tells him.

"I don't want you alone."

"Jax –" She says exasperated. The last thing she wants is babysitters. It wasn't as if the Prospects weren't helpful, but she just wanted time alone in her own space.

"I'm not budging on this," he says firmly.

Noelle presses her lips together as she reluctantly nods her head. "Okay, fine. Can you have Gemma pick up the kids today?"

"Yeah."

Noelle smiles and she leans down and presses a kiss to his lips. "Love you."

"Love you too."

…

"We got any leads on what happened to Noelle's store?" Clay asks in church.

Jax shakes his head.

"Yeah and other stores don't have cameras considering they pay us for protection," Juice adds.

"I think we should question Darby," Tig says speaking up.

Jax shakes his head unsure. He was willing to go with any lead he could, but there wasn't anything brewing with the Nords and despite Darby losing a few brain cells from cooking meth, the wannabe Neo-Nazi wasn't an idiot. Darby would know the shit show he would hail down on himself by attacking Noelle's shop.

"How's Noe doing?" Bobby asks.

"Getting through it," Jax tells them. "She's at the store now. Sent Sack and Phil on her. V-Lin will go give him a break."

The guys don't give any objections for Jax's monopoly on the Prospects as they nod their heads.

"Well we're flush for the Irish," Clay says bringing attention back to club business. "We're meeting at Devon's tonight with Cameron. I want you with me and Tig," Clay says directing towards Jax.

Jax raises his eyebrow slightly, but doesn't object. "Okay."

…

After church, Jax kept himself busy at the garage. He clocked in his 8 hours of work before he followed his mom to pick up the kids. He stayed at his mom's for a bit as he played with the kids in a game of UNO.

With an hour before the meet, Jax heads over to Noelle's store. He finds V-Lin being directed by her in hanging up some new shelves. Seeing him there, the Prospect disappears leaving him and Noelle alone.

Jax pulls his wife to him and presses a gentle kiss to her lips. He thinks it's a good thing it seems she hasn't been crying today as he notes her make up free face.

She wraps her arms around his neck as she pulls him back and nips on his bottom, "Don't start something you can't finish." He warns.

"I'm not," she replies as her hand travels up into his hair and tugs on it a little.

"Yeah, but I can't finish this."

He smiles as a pout takes over her features. "Everything okay?" She asks.

"Just have a meet with the Irish tonight. Wanted to see you."

She smiles at him as her fingers play with his hair. "Kids?"

"Being spoiled by Grandma as we speak."

"I take it I should leave them there then?" She asks him.

"A whole house to ourselves sounds too good to be true." Jax says.

Noelle places another kiss on his lips, "You be careful okay?"

"Always am," he tells her.

…

"What the fuck was that?" Jax says with barely contained rage.

One minute he, Clay, Tig, and Cameron were celebrating another deal with the Irish and the next thing he knows the doors were busted open and bullets started flying. Luckily, no one was injured or killed except for the piece of shit assassins on the floor.

"You alright?" Jax asks his stepfather as he helps him up off the floor.

"I'm good." Clay says as he goes and checks on Cameron.

Jax heads over to Tig, who is checking the body for ink. "Find anything?"

"Nah, brother." Tig says disappointed and angry at the dead white men at their feet. "Prison tats, but no affiliations."

Jax runs a hand through his hair. "We gotta go. The hood probably heard this."

…

Noelle decides that she's been at the store long enough. Jax's meet should be done in a little bit and it would give her enough time to freshen up. Plus, she's sure V-Lin could use a break and probably wants to go home.

She has locked her office door where she finds V-Lin waiting for her in the front. However, she stops in her spot as a familiar Cutlass pulls up to the store.

Tara parks her car and exits the vehicle. "Can we talk?"

This is the last thing Noelle really wants to deal with, but she nods her head. "Give us a minute," Noelle tells V-Lin as she motions for Tara to follow her into the store for some privacy.

Noelle had thought about how she would handle seeing Tara after what happened. Maybe if she and Jax didn't have kids she wouldn't be as angry. But she and Jax did have kids and Tara's bullshit had put them in danger.

"I'm really sorry about the store."

"Yeah, you and everyone else in Charming," Noelle replies coolly. "What can I do for you Tara?"

She can tell Tara is taken back by the brisk tone, but Noelle doesn't care. She doesn't have room for pleasantries anymore when it comes to this woman.

"I just wanted to apologize for what happened with Kohn. I never meant for your kids to get hurt. I didn't think he would go to that extreme."

"Well he did," Noelle replies. "And maybe if you would've told someone he was here it wouldn't have escalated the way it did."

"He said he was here for ATF business," Tara says.

"And you believed him." Noelle scoffs.

"Look, you wouldn't – you can't understand what I've been through."

"I frankly don't give a shit about what you've been through," Noelle replies hotly. "You came back here knowing he would follow you!"

"No, I didn't," Tara insists. "I swear."

Noelle ignores her. "You came back here because you knew Jax would be here. Take care of your problems and jump into your arms, but you didn't expect him to be married with kids."

The words linger in the air as Tara goes quiet while Noelle fumes. She thinks Tara picked the wrong day to try and extend an olive branch as she clenches her fist. However, Noelle's ears perk up at the sound of a body dropping before the shop's door bursts open startling the two. A man and a woman come in holding guns.

"Jax Teller's girl?" The dark hair Hispanic woman asks to Noelle.

"Depends on whose asking?" Noelle bites back.

"I could check and from what I hear your tat isn't in a very respectable place," the man tsks at her. "Who's the brunette? She an old lady, too?"

"She's a doctor at St. Thomas Hospital," Noelle says. "Whatever your beef is leave her out of it."

The man eyes her before he needs to his partner. "Check her."

Tara lets out a startle in fear as the girl begins pulling at her clothes and of course finds the crow Jax had put on her in their teenage years.

"She's a doctor alright," the man says chuckling. "Come on. We're going for a ride. Come on, let's go."


	17. The Chain

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I know I was supposed to update over the weekend, but I have come down with a vicious cold/sinus infection and the last thing I really wanted was to look at a computer screen. Anyhoo, I re-read previous chapters and the spelling/grammar errors are absolutely disgusting so one day I will go back and fix them (so if there are more in here, I apologize. I suck at editing for that. I need to not look at something for a while before I can see all my mistakes). But there is only three chapters left to Jax and Noelle. Makes me sad when I think about it, but I am going to be happy to devote more time to the "The Pull". So I hope you enjoy this chapter!

until then.

* * *

There is a lot of shit Jax could deal with. He could deal with the warehouse getting blown up. Hell, if someone decided they wanted to blow the Compound to fucking Kingdom Come he would take that shit in stride. Hell, if a rival gang wanted a shootout, he would be pissed but that was just another Thursday. He even could tolerate having to do another stint in prison.

But this is something he does not know how to fucking deal with.

All he can hear is ringing in his ears. Maybe even the feeling of his heart trying to crawl its way out of his chest and into his fucking throat. He can feel his veins pulsing in his neck as his eye lids begin to twitch. He feels hands on him and maybe even a few brothers trying to shake him out of his shocked.

He fights the urge to stomp the damn Prospect into the cement and scatter his limbs all down Main Street. If Jax has anything to say on the matter V-Lin will not be getting his fucking patch. He knew he should've kept Phil on her. It would take a grenade to get passed him.

But outside of the ringing, he thinks his heart is going to fucking explode. He may be having a heart attack as he clutches his chest. He may also be getting dizzy. He is starting to see white spots in his vision.

And right now he doesn't feel anger; he thinks devastation is the right word. He knows his cold anger will creep on him later, but this was a whole other ballgame he couldn't wrap his head around.

Noelle is gone.

She was taken.

Jax bends down on his knees as he stands in front of the store. He's trying to hold back his tears – his fucking emotions – but he can't. His emotions are simmering to the surface as his body vibrates and becomes tightly coiled. He thinks if he was an animal right now he would be a lion. He feels like fucking roaring as someone has treaded on his home territory.

And V-Lin doesn't know shit. Apparently someone came up behind him and knocked him out. It was taking all his self-control not to beat the piss out of the prospect. After all he is an easy target. And right now he is envisioning snapping his fucking neck.

"Jax?"

Jax looks up at Opie, who at least doesn't have pity on his face, but just concern and determination.

"What?"

"Noe wasn't the only one taken."

Jax's spine stiffens and Opie turns to the side and points at a very familiar Cutlass. And Jax begins laughing as if this shit show couldn't' get any worse. He knows that someone at the hospital will report Tara missing and it will go to Charming PD. The last thing they need is Hale riding their asses especially considering the shoot out that happened barely an hour ago.

Soon his laughs turn into broken sobs. He thanks God, however, that his kids weren't here with Noelle and that thought sobers him up very quickly.

And right now he can't be having a pity party for himself. He's wife is missing. He isn't going to torture himself with what she could be subjected to. She's missing and he needs to find her. Most importantly, he needs to get ahold of Gemma since she has the kids.

The club needs to do recon and call in every charter and friends of the club and cash in any favor to get his wife home and back to their kids.

He knows in his gut that the assassination attempt and this are connected.

…

If there is one thing Gemma doesn't do is chain smoke. She enjoys her cigarettes and especially her medicated ones, but despite the shit that sometimes taint her doorsteps she never chain smokes.

The last time she did was when Thomas was in the hospital fighting for his life.

And now she was doing it again. Considering her two oldest grandchildren were too smart for their own damn good they would know something was wrong. The first warning sign as she had them pack up some essentials as they head to the clubhouse.

She didn't know what had her more strung out that her husband and son had a hit attempt on them or the fact her son's wife was kidnapped. And now she doesn't know how to explain to her grandchildren where their mother is. She knows when they reach the clubhouse with no Noelle in sight there are going to be questions. Hell, she has questions.

Yet, as her job as old lady, mother, and grandmother, she needs to be strong for her family.

She pulls into the lot of the clubhouse and finds it deserted although she knows very soon it's going to be packed and filled to capacity. She spots her son along with Opie, Clay, and Tig waiting for her. She barely has the car in park before the back door is ripped open and Jax eagerly moves to get his kids.

Clay reaches her door and opens it for her.

"You okay?" She asks as she hugs him before pressing her lips eagerly against his.

"I'm good. Besides we have other things to worry about." Clay tells her gravely as they both look to Jax who is all but strangling his kids.

"You have any leads?" She asks quietly.

"No."

"You think this shit is connected though?"

Clay nods his head and she knows that now is not that time to discuss this especially as Addie is the one to break out of her father's hold and look out onto the lot.

"Where's Mom?" Addie asks Jax. Usually her mom is the one to smother them in affection and with her Dad something feels different about it. She is also confused on why their grandma made them pack a bag to stay at the clubhouse, which she hated, as that meant she had to share a bed with her brothers.

Gemma also knows that Jax is conflicted about lying to Addie. Addie isn't five like AJ and won't prod into his vague answers. AJ won't hold it against him about what he says.

"She'll be here," Jax tells his daughter.

"How soon?" Addie questions.

"Ads, let's go inside. Find you a bed. You can get a whole room to yourself. And V-Lin will be at your beck and call. " Clay chimes in with an easy smile. And Gemma knows Addie is sold as she nods her head at her grandfather. Gemma knows once she has her dad and hell even her alone the questions will begin again.

Gemma waits until the kids are out of sight as they follow Clay and Phil into the clubhouse before she brings her baby into a hug. She hugs him tightly as this shit was something that wasn't written in their way of life. Women and children were left alone no matter what and now someone had changed the playbook.

"What do you need me to do, baby?" She asks her son. He is clearly becoming unraveled.

"I don't even know, Ma," Jax tells her hoarsely before he closes his eyes and rubs his fingers over them. "I…the kids…I don't even know what to say to them."

"You'll get her back, Jax. And Noelle's a fighter – smart. She'll be okay." Gemma assures her son. She knows they will come out the other side of this.

"Hale will probably drop by," he tells her. "Noelle wasn't the only one taken. Tara was with her."

Gemma reels back at that little fact. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I don't know. Her car was outside the store."

Gemma keeps her lips shut as she can't imagine why Tara of all people would be seeing Noelle. "Okay, well I'll call some of the girls. Get some food. Work on something to tell the kids in the morning."

"Thanks, Ma."

…

In church, they go through every possible suspect. They know that with the attempted assassination it means a call to war. Clay already had Opie and Juice reaching out to every number one and two of other charters to head into Charming. They were divided if they believed it to be the Nords. Darby was stupid, that wasn't to be argued, but for him to try and kill Jax and Clay and bring heat into Charming wasn't something he would risk. The shooters weren't black so it couldn't be the Niners, but there was some arguments that maybe they hired white guys to divert. Same could be said for the Mayans despite the truce.

However, Jax couldn't see how it connected back to Noelle's kidnapping. If they were intent on killing him why would they kidnap Noelle? Or maybe he was overthinking and these two events weren't connected.

In the end it was decided that Darby would be the next lead they would follow up in the morning.

…

Jax heads to the bar and orders the Prospect to pour him a drink.

Clay joins him at the bar, "I'm sorry, son."

Jax shakes his head. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah and it's not yours either."

Clay watches as his son's brows furrow. Despite never having kids of his own, he never particularly wanted them considering the only babies he needed or wanted was his Harley and this club.

Before he got married to Gemma, he was alright in being an Uncle to many of the kids that roamed around the clubhouse, particularly Jax and Opie. He was fine with it. He loved showing Jax and Opie their way around bikes, cars, and even passing on some knowledge on how to make girls loosen their panties.

It wasn't until after he had married Gemma and had taken on this role as step-father, he did come to understand the importance of fatherhood.

And raising Jax, despite the boy being a petulant teenager, is his greatest accomplish. So with raising Jax, he also knew how the boy thought. If he inherited anything from John Teller it was how their heart and head could never stay on the same road. So he knows that the boy is probably already deep in blaming himself for what has happened to Noelle. He knows how deadly that could be to Jax and once this all settles how it could harm his marriage.

"No one is to blame but the sick fuck who took her." Clay tells him. "We're going to get your wife back, no matter what it takes."

Jax nods his head.

…

Noelle groans as she feels a sharp pain in her neck. She moves her head back trying to crack it, but her head hits something very hard and her body freezes. Her eyes pop open and she finds herself staring at a stack of cardboard boxes. It smells moldy and dusty. She instantly begins to feel the urge to gag. As she takes in the musty room and feels the stale heat making her clothes damp, everything hits her like a freight train as last night catches up with her. She looks down at her legs that are ducted taped together at the ankles. She has duct tape on her mouth. As she moves her fingers, her wrists are bound very tightly to what she guesses is a wooden pole.

She remembers the man and the girl. Tara.

Her eyes widen as her fingers begin to move frantically and they brush against another set of fingers. She prays that it's Tara.

She brings her head back and regulates her breathing as she tries to figure out what the fuck she is going to do. She knows better than to cry. Knows to just keep with the silent treatment. She remembers she and Jax were watching some mob movie one night. It was after Noah was born, some man was being tortured for information and she had asked jokingly what she would need to do in that situation. At that point in their relationship, Jax had slowly begun to fully integrate her into his world. He had laid it fully out on the table about what he did and the risks involved.

When she asked that question, she can tell he was taken back and seemed reluctant to answer it. He said it would be useless as no one goes after women or children and he wasn't exactly in a mob lifestyle. She had told him to humor her and he had told her: don't talk, don't scream, and don't cry.

Well now it seems those words were about to come into use.

She thanks whatever God that is out there that her children weren't with her and prays that they are okay.

She knows that there is a chance she won't come out of this unscathed. This person had kidnapped her knowing she was Jax Teller's wife. They knew getting to her would hurt Jax.

The door is slammed open revealing the Latino man from last night and his girlfriend follows behind. The girl comes over to her and rips the tape off her lips before a water bottle is slammed into her mouth hitting her lips.

Noelle gulps the water down and doesn't hide her glare. Louisa moves behind her and rips the tape off Tara's mouth and she hears Tara sigh in relief.

"What do you want?" She asks the man as he is clearly in charge.

The man twirls his gun in front of her. "I want a lot of things sweetheart, but Louisa here was saying something about your rings."

Noelle growls as Louisa snatches her engagement and wedding band off her finger.

"Your husband has some good taste." Louisa goads as she places the rings on her fingers and admires the diamonds.

Noelle kicks her legs out and watches with a satisfied smirk as Louisa falls into the boxes.

"You bitch," she screeches as she is buried in the boxes.

However, Noelle isn't prepared for the backhand across her face from Hector. She feels her lip split from the force and her teeth cut into her gums.

"You have me," Noelle says after she spits out some blood. "You don't need Tara."

"Don't worry about what I need." Hector tells her as he kneels down to her level.

Noelle spits in his face.

He only smiles as he wipes the spit mixed with blood off his face. He doesn't slap her though. His eyes only narrow, but a sickly smile comes across his face as he shows her his teeth. "I think Jax Teller needs to work on keeping you in check."

Noelle is taken back when she finds her head slammed back into the pole and his gloved hand latches onto her throat – choking her.

Noelle's eyes widen in shock and she can hear Tara screaming for him to stop while Louisa laughs.

"Your old man got me stripped of my patch – my kutte. He took my club away from me. So now, I'm gonna hurt him." Hector growls as some of his spit flies in her face. He slams her back into the pole before releasing the hold on her neck.

She knows there is going to be a bruise. Her throat burns as she tries to suck in hair.

She isn't given much time for reprieve as his hand laces in her hair and slams her head back against the pole again. He digs in his pocket and pulls out her phone. "Time to call your husband."

…

Since sleep evaded him, Jax decides to kill time in the garage. He couldn't face his kids or the Inquisition he is going to get when they realized Noelle still wasn't here. Is it cowardly of him? Maybe. But he already knows he is going to be a miserable prick until he gets Noelle back.

Knowing his wife too, he is going to have to make it up to her big time for this shit. It's the only thing that makes him smile as she is going to want something Kobe Bryant big. Jax knows that he'll give her whatever the fuck she wants. After all, it's his fault she was taken. The damage that may be done to his family is because of him.

It is a couple hours later and the lot gets a little more active. Clay and Tig spot him and are on their way coming over to the garage when Unser, in his police cruiser, speeds onto the lot.

"What to tell me what the hell is going on!" Unser practically screams as he exits his car.

Jax places his wrench down as he exits the garage towards the Sheriff.

"Well Good Morning to you," Clay answers back sarcastically. "And what can I do for you this fine morning?"

"Apparently there was a shootout in Oakland targeting a Marcus Alvarez?"

Jax, Tig, and Clay share looks at that. So someone with a grudge against them and Alvarez had a busy night.

"Last I checked, Oakland isn't Charming," Clay says smoothly.

"I also found two dead ex-cons in a ditch off 18 half a mile outside of town." Unser responds flatly.

"Seems like someone had a busy night," Jax adds. Jax has to bite his lip as he can practically see the steam coming out of Unser.

"Anything I need to know?"

Clay goes to open his mouth, but Jax is distracted by his phone buzzing. He's body freezes as Noelle's name pops up.

"Clay?" Jax says shakily as he answers the call. He doesn't even care that Unser is privy to this.

"Noe?" Jax says.

" _Guess again, carbon_ ," the voice replies.

Instantly, Jax's blood turns cold. Devastation and fear are replaced by pure hate and anger. He wishes he could reach through the phone and strangle the mother fucker. In fact, he knows that he is going to call Happy after this to make sure Hector gets what he deserves.

"Hector, where's my wife?"

" _Have to say you should keep a better eye on her. I'm not into white chicks, but I might have to test drive this bitch. Little mouthy though, but I bet you like that."_

"I swear to God –"

" _You'll what?"_ Hector taunts over the phone. " _Be careful because I'm the one pointing a gun to her pretty little blonde head_."

"Let me talk to her." Jax demands.

He hears some shuffling before his wife's soft strained voice comes over the phone. " _Jax_?"

"Babe," he says and some relief settles into his bones. "Are you…did he?" He is not even sure why is asking that or if he even wants to know.

" _He has Tara too, Jax."_ She interrupts not letting him finish.

"I know." He tells her.

" _The kids_?"

"Here with my mom. Babe –"

" _I love you, Jax. Tell the kids I love them too_."

Jax furrows his brows. It sounded like she is trying to say goodbye, "Babe –"

" _Time's up, Teller_." Hector says coming back on the line.

"What do you want?"

" _I want you to confirm that Alvarez is dead, and steal a quarter of a mil from his home safe. And a quarter of a mil from your precious club in 12 hours. Or both these girls are dead. I would hate to have to mess up your wife's pretty face_." Hector says before he hangs up.

Jax almost throws his phone across the lot as he snaps his phone shut in anger. His body is practically shaking with pure rage as he ignores Clay, Tig, and even Unser looking at him for answers. He flexes his fists and before he knows it he begins pounding into the black van not caring he is busting a couple knuckles.

The only reason he stops is when he hears the quiet voice of Noah calling his name.


	18. Wounds

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Another update. I hope you all enjoy this! As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!

until then.

* * *

"What's going on, Dad?" Noah asks confused and scared. His blue deep ocean eyes the same as Noelle's and Jax has never found is harder to look his own child in the eyes.

He's ashamed to admit that a part of him wanted to avoid his children – to avoid Noah. His son – his child – that resembles Noelle the most. He doesn't know how to explain that their mother was taken – kidnapped. Telling his kids make it more real. He can't even try to verbalize that she could be in serious danger. The fact Hector right now could be hurting her.

What's worse is he knows that this is personal for Hector. Jax had humiliated him. He had gotten the man stripped of his kutte. He stripped the man of his patch. He knows Hector is going to make him feel the pain he put him through and Noelle has to suffer the brunt of it.

Jax rubs a hand down his face as he tries to battle the raging war inside him.

Jax looks at his oldest son as he grips his shoulder as his throat closes up.

"Is something wrong with Mom?" Noah asks him as those blue eyes search for an answer from him. It hits Jax that his son's eyes don't hold the innocence of an 11 year old. They are his eyes. Jax knows he had the same eyes his son had at 11. Noah knows the answers to the unspoken questions that linger as Jax had. But this time, Noah's eyes moves pass him. They scan his grandfather and the men he considers Uncles as he searches for answers.

Jax leads Noah into the garage office for some privacy and sits his son on the couch. For some reason, he aches for the days when Noah was just born. Even though Jax had been like a chicken with its head cut off when it came to his newborn son, he misses those days.

And despite loving all his children more than anything, Jax can admit Noah – his firstborn son – has a special place in his heart. Noah was what initially linked him and Noelle. Noah is the child that made him a father. Noah finally gave him a purpose outside of the club. Noah gave him a reason to make sure he made it another day in this lifestyle.

Most of all, Noah survived the mistakes he made as a first time father. He remembers how he didn't even know jack shit about being a father as after Noah ruining a lot of SAMCRO tees by pissing on him before Jax discovered that it was smart to put a wipe over his son's privates. He remembers that Noah was very particular at bath time. Noah had precise instructions to never scrub his ears too hard and that he only wanted soap like his daddy's. And you could never turn your back on Noah in the tub or somehow the boy, naked as the day he was born, would run amok in the house causing you to have to chase him.

Then there was the time he was teaching Noah how to ride a bike and how the little boy fell into the little embankment at the end of the road when they lived in their first house. Jax smiles as he thinks about the shoebox he had bought for him, Noelle, and Noah. It was cramped, but their tiny house that Noah had no qualms in destroying with his toys everywhere. It was the place he had nurtured Noah. Where they would go outside and light sparklers to appease his son's pyromaniac tendencies.

And with Noah being the oldest, he knows his son sees a lot. He can comprehend and come to conclusions better than his siblings. It was a burden Jax had for a time before Thomas passed.

"Dad, you're scaring me. Where's Mom?"

"Your Mom…" Jax starts as he swallows the lump in his throat. "Your Mom was taken, but I'm going to get her back."

Noah looks at him silently and he blinks a couple times. "Taken?" He repeats and his nose scrunches. "By who?"

Jax opens his mouth and then closes it.

But Noah's brain is flying with questions as one manages to come out. "You weren't going to tell us!"

"Noah –"

"You weren't!" Noah shrieks. "Mom's…Mom could be hurt."

"I'm going to get her back." Jax promises his son.

Jax watches as Noah's eyes narrow as he can tell his son is fighting the tears that are brimming in his eyes. "This is bullshit!" Noah shouts rendering Jax silent. "How did you let this happen? Mom…you're supposed to protect her!" Noah cries at him.

Jax doesn't have any words for his son.

…

Somehow Noah was able to compose himself. He wouldn't allow Jax to hold or comfort him. Jax didn't know if it was because he felt betrayed that he had allowed something to happen to his mother or those burgeoning feelings he needed to be a man.

Jax had given his son his space. He knows Addie's reaction will be worse.

Now him and the guys are all sitting in church as they go over how in the hell they are going to comply with Hector's demands. They didn't have the money or at least they had their half of the demand and they sure as hell weren't going to be killing Marcus Alvarez.

But worst, there was also another person in the mix. They not only had to worry about getting Noelle out safely, but Tara was trapped in there with her. Even though he wanted to get Noelle back, he couldn't disregard Tara's safety. She was an innocent in all this too.

"Do we know why Tara was at the store?" Tig asks as his eyes narrow on V-Lin.

"I don't know man. It seemed like she wanted to talk to Noelle." V-Lin tells them.

Jax snorts at that. He knows the last thing Noelle ever would want to do is talk to Tara. Now she's locked somewhere with her.

A knock comes from the chapel doors and his mom pokes her head through. "We got a problem."

…

Jax looks down at the contact information of Agent Cross and Agent Burns, two ATF agents all the way from Chicago, who are standing next to David Hale.

The last thing he expected was this shit.

Of course, Agent Kohn is fucking MIA. He doesn't know how the slimy bastard has been able to live off the grid.

"You think Kohn is still here?" Jax asks as he eyes the Agents. Jax decides to play nice for now. It's better to cooperate.

"We believe so."

Jax squints his eyes at the agents. "So what does this have to do with me?"

"We know Josh violated a restraining order and broke some federal laws coming down here." Agent Cross answers behind his black sunglasses. Jax surmises him and the man are the same age. Agent Cross has some height, but is very lanky.

"So I've heard." Jax says as he turns his eyes to David, who only sighs. "Still doesn't tell me why I should be concerned."

"Didn't you get into an altercation with Josh?" Agent Burns points out. He is shorter than his partner and stocky.

Jax folds his arms across his chest. "He attacked me."

"For your history with Tara Knowles." Agent Burns adds.

"You'll have to ask him that."

David finally steps in. "The hospital has reported Tara didn't show up for her shift today, Jax. And doing a drive around Charming, her Cutlass is parked in front of Noelle's store. Considering we have a potential missing person report on our hands, we need to talk to Noelle."

Jax sighs and he knows he is trapped as the ATF agents are persistent fuckers. "Can I talk to you in private?" Jax asks Hale.

David nods his head as he follows Jax.

Jax really doesn't want to let law enforcement intervene, but he knows there isn't any other way. If he refuses to divulge anything he knows they will put a tail on his ass.

Jax watches as his mom and Clay eye down the ATF agents, who only smirk at them in their sunglasses.

Jax turns his attention back to Hale, "Noelle and Tara were taken."

David eyes widen. "By Kohn?"

"No," Jax tells him.

"You going to give me a name?" David presses.

Jax purses his lips.

David sighs in exasperation. "Do you realize the gravity of this situation? Noelle and Tara could be hurt. ATF – the station – has resources that could help."

"You mean get in the way."

"Do you really think this is a time for outlaw justice?" David asks in disbelief. "Noelle, your wife and mother to your children, is in danger."

"Noelle is my concern." Jax answers in a clipped tone.

David shakes his head. "I can't do anything about Noelle," David tells him pointedly, "but I have to report Tara's disappearance, Jax."

…

Noelle brings her head back onto the pole she is tied too. She's hungry, thirsty, and fucking annoyed that she is even in this situation. Her throat hurts. What's worse is that Tara won't stop fucking crying or sniffling.

"I'm sorry you're in this situation." Noelle says hoping talking will get Tara to stop crying. Besides, she does feel slightly bad.

"This isn't your fault," Tara says shakily.

"I promise that I'll get you out of here. The club – Jax – will." Noelle promises.

She almost rolls her eyes as Tara begins crying again.

Noelle looks forward and begins to focus on the cardboard boxes in front of her. It's labeled with rooms designated where they came from or are going. She presumes that the house is empty or something. She doesn't think this Hector is stupid to take them to his home.

But he isn't that stupid considering that she is here tied up in an attic. She also isn't stupid enough to do anything rash that would get Tara hurt or herself killed. After all, she will get out of this and back to her babies and to Jax.

She prays Jax isn't doing anything rash or impulsive. She knows Hector seems like the man to taunt a person to do something stupid. She trusts her husband and knows he is smart, but he's never been in a situation where she was in danger.

Noelle thinks it might be best to close her eyes for a little bit. To get some rest, she has only closed her eyes for a couple minutes when she jumps at the sound of loud voices coming from downstairs.

Her body stills before she can hear the pounding of feet before the door opens.

"Tar Tar!"

Noelle's eyes widen in shock. Agent Kohn rushes into the room and immediately goes to Tara. Noelle can't believe this man had all of this planned. He is the reason Hector probably even had the means to even go after her. Kohn probably gave Hector the push to do this.

…

Jax thinks it was surprisingly easy to get ahold of Alvarez. Then again once they mentioned Hector the man was quick to set up a met.

They meet on a backwater road that Jax and the guys quickly deduce is a safe house considering how many patches are filling the lot. And Jax can tell the guys are all tense and he sees why as Marcus approaches and he sees a white bandage peeking out from his shirt.

"You alright?" Jax asks concerned.

"That pendejo is smarter than we give him credit for. Hired some white boys to kill me."

Jax shares a look with Clay. Hector was bold – very bold.

"Sorry about your wife, ese. You hear from him?" Marcus asks.

Jax nods his head. "He apparently wants us to kill you and take 250k from a safe you have."

Marcus laughs. "The only things I have are my kids' baby teeth in that thing, but I can front you the money. All I ask is that we kill that son of a bitch."

"That won't be a problem," Jax promises.

…

Jax heads to his mom's house as she told him that she thought the kids should go to the Center. She had decided to head back to the house to gather some things and probably get a break from the clubhouse herself. She also had told him that Addie was asking questions and she was expecting answers. Jax runs his hands through his hair as he only has a few more hours before Hector calls. With Alvarez agreeing to play dead and fronting half the money, the club is coming together to pull the other half. In all they should be good for the proposed meet.

He finds his mom sitting at the dining room table with her bird, Clancy, as she smokes a cigarette.

"Any news?" She asks.

Jax shakes his head as he sits down in the seat that is usually reserved for Clay. He throws his snapback onto the table and runs his hands through his hair.

"How are the kids?" He asks.

"You're going to have to say something to them. Addie and AJ know something is wrong."

Jax shakes his head and it isn't until now that he really feels the weight of his wedding ring and Noelle's absence that his shoulders begin to shake.

And the tears rapidly follow as he hunches over in his seat and lets himself actually cry. Jax thinks the last time he had cried – had really cried – was when AJ was born with the hole in his heart. His son, a tiny little thing, had his life balancing on a flimsy string. He had cried –hard. He was the one who had been torn up about it, but Noelle was strong. If she shed a tear it was in private. She was being strong for him.

And right now, he doesn't know how to be strong without her. Because even if he doesn't want to acknowledge it, there is a real possibility that Hector could do worse than hurt Noelle.

He hears his mom move from her seat and he feels her grab his hands. "You feel that baby. You feel that here. Then you go out those doors and get your wife back."

…

Noelle should have known that Joshua Kohn was behind why she is currently locked up in a goddamn attic.

Tara thankfully had stopped crying. In fact, she has been silent since her ex-boyfriend had left them. He had ignored her. It was as if she wasn't even there as he detailed to Tara his plans to take her away from Charming and her first love since it apparently dies hard. Noelle wished she could have torn the man's fucking tongue out of his throat and strangle him with it.

"So how did you go from Jax to Josh?" Noelle asks despite her burning throat. She is genuinely curious. Tara is a good looking woman. Jax was well Jax. She knows that there aren't many men who can really compete when it comes to her husband. However, Josh is a clear downgrade outside of his crazy stalker tendencies. In Noelle's humble opinion she couldn't see what would be the attraction. Tara could do better.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Tara asks clearly insulted.

"What do you think? He's clearly not winning anything in the personality department and his looks leave something to be desired." Noelle says dryly.

"Well sorry not every guy is a walking Adonis like Jax." Tara hisses.

Noelle rolls her eyes. "Hey, it's not my fault you clearly have shitty taste in men."

"You do know Jax is included on that list," Tara replies.

That rubs Noelle the wrong way. She knows Jax can have a tendency to be an asshole which stems from a mixture of his ego and the lifestyle that doesn't really view women in the best of light. Not that she is making excuses for him. She knows Jax doesn't have the most extreme sexism when it comes to them, but they have been known to clash because he thinks he can simply order her around.

However, she isn't about to let Tara's teenage heartbreak, which she should have gotten over, run her husband's name through the mud. Or for her to simply just put all the blame for their breakup on Jax, Tara had a lion share of why their relationship deteriorated.

"You _left_ him." Noelle reminds her.

"And you had no problem jumping right into his bed!"

"Jesus Christ, Tara! Grow up!" Noelle practically roars. "You left! It's great you became a surgeon. It really is so congratulations. But you left and Jax clearly moved on. Sorry he wasn't mourning your ghost."

"Well it seems not for very long."

Noelle really has the urge to slap Tara. "I don't know what you want me to say, Tara. I can't help with the fact your little teenage fantasy you're trying to relive or whatever isn't going to happen."

She doesn't know how to tell the surgeon any other way. If the wedding ring and three kids aren't clicking in her brain she doesn't know how to help Tara.

"It's not about that."

"Then what is it? Because you ran back here knowing Jax was going to be here."

"I didn't –"

"You did! You knew that Jax was the one person who would be brave enough to do something about Kohn." Noelle spits out. She knows no matter what Jax would have helped Tara no matter what. It was because of his loyalty. Not that he owed Tara anything, but they had history even if it was dead. He wouldn't let anything happen to Tara because of that. "You just didn't expect Jax to be married with kids."

"I..I –"

"You what? Just tell me the truth, Tara. We're already locked in a fucking attic."

"I came back…I came back because my dad is dying and with everything happening with Kohn…Charming seemed right. I'm not going to lie. I did think about Jax and felt it would be nice to just talk and come to peace with how we broke up." Tara reveals.

"And because you feel safe with Jax." Noelle adds.

"Please believe me that I didn't know Kohn would take it this far or go after your kids." Tara says sincerely. "Also I'm sorry for how I acted during high school."

Noelle snorts. She knows it's on the tip of Tara's tongue to ask when exactly she and Jax started seeing each other, but she knows that she won't get an answer. "I hope you find someone though, Tara." It's unsaid that Jax isn't that person.

…

Jax isn't sure whether he wants to laugh or scream at the absolute clusterfuck he finds himself in. He doesn't know whether he wants to fucking kill the ATF agents himself for what the fuck they just did. But most importantly if Hector thought that they were working for the Feds, he would probably kill Noelle. He will take it out on her.

"Why were you even fucking here?" Jax asks quietly as he eyes Agent Burns and Cross. He was clearly protecting the drop as an adolescent kid had tried to take the drop off money. However, what threw him for a fucking loop was when he had seen Feds dressed in civilian clothing coming out of the woodwork to help.

"We were just following a lead," Agent Burns replies.

"A fucking lead!" Jax roars. "Because of you fucking idiots my wife is gonna get hurt."

"We could have caught that kid and still had time to put the money back in that can." Agent Burns replies tightly.

Jax lunges and Opie and Happy are barely able to hold him back as he itches to beat the living shit out of this fucking Agent.

"I swear to fucking God, if Hector lays a hand on my wife, I'm getting beat your ass to the ground."

"Are you threatening a Federal Agent?"

"It's a promise shithead." Jax says as Opie pulls him away.

…

Addie wakes up to AJ's foot wedged into her back. After an exhausting day at the Center, apparently the two fell asleep. She growls softly to herself as she gets out of bed and glares at her little brother. Leaving her Dad's childhood bedroom, she checks the two other guests rooms and finds Noah and her parents nowhere to be found. Or she should say her mother is still nowhere to be found.

She finds it irritating that her Dad, Grandmother, and probably Noah are trying to keep the lie that something isn't wrong with her mom.

And everyone was lying to her about it.

She heads out into the kitchen where she finds her grandmother getting dinner ready.

"Where's Dad?"

"Well Good Afternoon to you too," Gemma replies.

"Where is he?" Addie demands.

"At the garage," her grandma replies.

"With Mom?" Addie probes. She gets no response. "It's been two days since we last seen her. I'm not stupid. I know something is going on."

"You might want to rethink that tone." Gemma warns.

"Where's Noah?"

"At Opie's." _Convenient_ , Addie thinks.

"Grandma, if something was wrong with Mom you _would_ tell me?"

Her grandmother looks straight in the eyes, "Of course, sweetie."

Tears blur Addie's vision as her own grandmother was able to lie to her with a straight face. She makes a hasty exit from the kitchen.

…

Hector slams the front door shut as he enters his Aunt's home that is in foreclosure. He doesn't care how the force splinters the framework. Doesn't even care he is leaving evidence of someone even squatting in the house as he punches the plaster leaving various holes in the wall.

"Louisa!" He shouts as he strolls through the house. He itches to make an example to Teller about getting the Feds involved. He thinks he might even call the cocky Vice President or even record a video of smacking around his hot piece of ass.

He is surprised that Teller would even get the Feds involved in this matter. However, as he eyes the salt and pepper Agent that had no problem giving him the personal address of Teller's home, he thinks maybe the Feds being involved isn't something to quickly blame on Teller.

Besides, Hector didn't even want the doctor bitch that Josh said they should take as well. His beef wasn't with some Surgeon who _would be_ missed.

And he had hoped to get rid of the fucker with this money. Hector can admit he almost feels bad for the doctor having some dude on her ass wanting to whisk her away.

"Did you get the money?" Kohn asks.

"Nah, it seemed your old work buddies decided to crash the party." Hector replies as he eyes the man. "I thought you didn't work for the Feds no more. Why would they be concerned with this case?"

He watches the man give him an easy smile. "Kidnapping is a federal crime."

"Last time I checked ATF weren't concerned with kidnapping."

"Well you did kidnap a wife of a member of an outlaw club."

"I know the reputation of the SONS. Those _putos_ wouldn't have called the Feds." Hector says and realizes that Lousia still hasn't brought her lazy ass down the stairs to greet him. "Lousia! Get your ass down here."

"Well Jax is probably desperate. After all, this is his wife." Josh says.

Hector eyes the man wearily, but doesn't reply. Instead, he heads towards the kitchen. "Doesn't matter. We're moving the gi –"

He stops at the smell of blood, but then as he spots Louisa's bloody and still body lying on the floor. Three bullets to the back and it only takes him a second to duck down as more gunfire rings out in the house and he seeks cover from a cabinet.

"You killed her!" Hector roars as he gets his gun and turns off the safety.

"I didn't mean too."

"Bullshit." Hector mutters as he moves down the cabinets until he reaches the dining room. Luckily, his aunt had put up a mirror that gave him a full view of the kitchen where Josh was creeping into.

"Did you kill those girls!" He shouts.

"I would never harm my Tar-Tar," Josh points out offended. "Noelle on the other hand –"

Hector growls as he stands up and takes his shots at Josh hitting the man twice. One in the shoulder and the other in the gut. Josh falls down next to the body of Louisa.

"Oh my God, call the ambulance." Josh cries from the floor.

 _Fucking pussy_ , Hector thinks as he steps closer and kicks the gun away. He should just put a bullet in between the man's eyes. But he decides to let the man suffer. Hector steps on the man's wounds causing him to cry out before kicking him in the head.

He bends down and presses a kiss to Louisa's head and says a quick prayer to Jesús Malverde and the Lady of Guadalupe. He searches through Kohn's pockets where he finds his handcuffs.

…

Hector wipes away his tears as he runs upstairs into the attic. He kicks open the door and the girls don't jump at the sight of him. Noelle looks at him blankly while the doctor looks at him scared.

"What's going on?" Noelle asks him.

He doesn't answer as he doesn't bother with untying her rope as he cuts right through them and slaps on the handcuffs.

"What are you doing?" She demands as he pulls her up. He doesn't bother with the doctor. After all, he never even wanted her.

He slaps Noelle across the face stunning her enough that he is able to slap some tape over her mouth.

She doesn't fight him as he drags her down the stairs. He pushes her through the garage as he unlocks the trunk and throws her in. "You better not scream because I would really hate to ruin that pretty face."

He doesn't bother waiting for a nod as he slams the trunk shut. He quickly gets into the car and he can faintly hear the screams of Tara Knowles as he speeds away.


	19. Wood

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Guys, this chapter was so hard to write. I'm not even sure if I like it that much. Nothing I wrote felt exactly write even in the outlines I couldn't decide where to take this chapter. But I hope you guys like it. Sorry for all the grammar and spelling errors. As I said earlier I do go back and edit these after some time away. As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows.

* * *

SAMCRO currently crowds a small St. Thomas waiting room. It's a rare sight to see the outlaw club so visible with their anger and stress that has most workers bypassing the vicinity. However, most don't know if the club is waiting to hear news about Doctor Knowles or the Fed that had suffered intensive trauma to the abdomen to the stomach and shoulder. The Fed, Joshua Kohn, was currently heavily sedated. It was unspoken that if SAMCRO got their hands on the man all the hard work of the nurses and doctors would go to waste.

The only person brave enough to face the Sons of course was Sheriff Unser. Then again he had answers that the nurses and doctors couldn't provide the Sons as they abided by their moral and ethical codes.

"So Kohn had a gunshot wound to the belly and shoulder. He's on thin ice. Tara is fine. Just some bruising from the rope they bound her with." Unser informs them.

"That fucker should be dead," Jax states from his chair. He thinks he is almost pissed that Hector almost got the chance to kill the slimy former Fed.

"Well he is in for an extensive care because of the gut shot." Unser says.

"He got guards?" Clay asks.

"ATF." Unser tells them. "They don't want my guys on it."

"The Good Doctor?"

"Said she'll be willing to talk to Jax," Unser answers to Clay's question. The guys all turn to Jax as he sighs and stands up.

"Oh here," Unser says as he brings his hand out. Jax opens his palm where cool metal meets it. It's Noelle's engagement ring and wedding band. "They were on the girl." Unser tells him with a soft smile.

Jax clenches the rings in his palm. He almost forgot that Kohn had managed to kill Hector's old lady. He knows that the result of this isn't a good sign for Noelle. He knows that Hector losing the woman he loves will make him unhinged.

…

Tara hates that she perpetuated the stereotype of doctors making the worse patients, but she couldn't handle the constant prodding and questions from the staff. She didn't even know why she was at St. Thomas when she had told everyone that she was fine. Hector didn't care about her presence at all and when Kohn had burst through those attic doors she knew why. Hector's rage was all directed towards Noelle and he had taken her somewhere.

Tara actually feels guilty as she knows she played a part in all of this. She knew what Josh was capable of and she didn't tell anyone. She let him harasses children. And she knew that he had given Hector the push he needed to take Noelle from her family.

She was a doctor who had taken an oath to do no harm especially when it came to children, but she had gone against her oath. She should have gone to Hale as soon as she knew Kohn was in town. Instead, she didn't. She even let him feed her bullshit about him being there went above the restraining order.

A knock comes from her door and she instantly wipes away the tears that she felt building in her eyes. The door opens and Jax walks through. She thinks Jax has grown a lot in their years apart. His boyish charm was gone and replaced with something more rough and dangerous. She is sure that is appealing to a lot of woman in Charming as it was when they were teens. But apparently they were out of luck considering he is a married man with three children.

He enters her room slowly and stands by the edge of the bed. His blue eyes flicker over her body before they land back on her face. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

Tara gives him a small smile. "Not your fault."

"Did he do anything?"

Tara shakes her head. "No. He never got the chance and Hector didn't care about me."

"Did Hector say anything?"

Tara shakes her head again and only feels guilty. She has next to nothing to tell Jax except that Noelle was with Hector. Hector was keen on just hurting Noelle to hurt Jax. "I'm sorry I can't be much help."

"That's alright. I'm glad you are okay." Jax says as he straightens up. He fiddles with his wedding ring before he shakes his head. "Noelle –"

"She's strong, Jax," Tara interrupts just having a feeling he wanted to know what Hector had done to his wife. She thinks that Jax shouldn't dwell on that though. "You're lucky to have each other."

Jax gives her a small smile. "I'm going to keep a guy posted here –"

"Jax, you don't have to." Tara begins to object. "I know Josh is…critical."

She knows that his gut shot is the most critical. After eliciting enough sympathy, a nurse was willing to ignore patient confidentiality to inform Tara that Josh was stable on pure luck or skilled hands. Despite taking the Hippocratic Oath, Tara had hope that Josh wouldn't pull through. She knows that until he is dead that he will always be a problem. He doesn't know when to stop when it comes to things.

"I'm really sorry Jax for everything." She tells him as her eyes begin to water and she places a hand over her mouth to try to contain the sobs that threaten to escape. Right now she knows that she is an emotional mess. When it comes to her personal relationships, Tara knows she needs to find some serious way to vet the people that try to come into her life.

She blames her father for the way she is with not only men, but people.

She thinks it's in her best interest to just focus on her career.

And what she hates the most is Jax is silent through her very apparent turmoil. Its then she realizes that her grief – anguish – isn't Jax's problem anymore.

She isn't his problem.

"You should go, Jax." She tells him softly.

He leaves with no objection while she crumbles.

…

Seeing as there was nothing he or the club could do to get to Kohn before establishing a plan, Jax decides to head home to his Mom's to check on the kids.

He has just opened the door when he is bombarded.

"Where's Mom?"

Jax looks up to find his daughter looking at him with irate eyes. Considering it's going on 10 o'clock, she should be in bed.

"Why are you up?" He asks instead as he throws his keys in the basket his mom keeps by the door.

"Where's Mom?" Addie repeats looking at him with narrowed brown eyes.

"Ads –"

"Don't lie to me!" Addie screams.

"Keep your voice down." Jax reprimands.

"Where is she!"

Jax sighs as he rubs a hand down his face. Jax knows he won't be able to find a way out of this conversation. "She was taken."

Addie looks at him confused. "Taken?"

"Yeah. For a ransom. They want money." He explains to her. He watches as she takes in his words. Her narrowed eyes widen and she can't hide the tears that brim in them.

"This is your fault!"

"Addie-"

"No it is! For five years, we were fine and happy. We were safe. You come back and Mom is _gone_." Addison cries.

"I'm going to get her back."

"You were supposed to protect her!"

"What the hell is going on out here?" Gemma asks as she steps into the kitchen wearing a night robe. Her face filled with worry.

"We're good, Mom." Jax says.

"No, we're not. You were all lying about Mom. And she could be hurt. She's alone!" Addison cries.

Both Gemma and Jax are rendered speechless.

Jax steps forward to Addison, but she recoils far away from him and Gemma.

"If something happens to Mom, I will never be able to forgive you." Addison tells him before she walks out of the kitchen.

…

Noelle feels like she is being suffocated by her own blood. It doesn't help that she doesn't smell that great either from the combination of sweat and blood. She fights the urge to vomit considering the gag that is in her mouth.

She also tries to ignore how every bump in the road aggravates the various bruises on her body. Her wrists are unbelievably chafed from being confined the past three days. She can feel some blood leaking from the tight grip of the metal cuffs.

And now alone in the back of the trunk of some car Hector had killed a poor woman for; she succumbs to the isolation to let her feel some fear. She won't cry. She won't allow Hector the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable.

However, considering what she has been able to deduce that his partnership with Kohn didn't work out and something had happened to Louisa. Noelle presumes his old lady is dead and why he must have attacked Josh.

It is the only thing she can think of as to why he would so abruptly leave the house he had her and Tara at. She supposes the only good thing is that Tara isn't in this situation anymore. She hopes Tara is in the hospital safe.

She feels the car come to an abrupt stop that has her hitting her head against the siding of the trunk. She tenses as she is unsure of the mindset of Hector. It's quiet wherever he parked and she is slightly hopeful that maybe he'll leave her in the trunk. But her wish doesn't come to fruition as she hears footsteps approaching.

The trunk opens and the moonlight illuminates Hector's figure. He roughly pulls her from the trunk and she stumbles onto the ground. He lets her fall and she gets a scrap on her chin. He pulls her up by her hair and she can't help the cry of pain that comes out from beneath the duct tape on her mouth.

It's cold and the air is filled with the buzzing of mosquitos. They are surrounded by woods and she realizes he has taken her to a secluded cabin. It looks similar to the ones Piney and the club owned. He drags her to what looks like a one room cabin. Quickly before she can even make sense of her surroundings, he throws her onto the bed. And before she can properly get her bearings, he slams something behind her. She instantly begins to panic for the first time in days when she feels his him behind her. She feels his weight on her as his hands roam her body.

She tries to kick and him, but his hands tangle into her greasy and matted hair as he pushes her face down in the mattress. She screams through the duct tape as she may act like a model abductee but she refuses to just lie still and let him do this to her without a fight.

But instead of him making moves to remove their clothes, he begins laughing as he turns her over.

His dark eyes roam over her. "So this is what you're scared off. You don't cry or scream for a few punches, but this breaks you. Scared your hubby won't want you if I had my way with you. Don't think Jax would take it kindly to know someone violated his pussy."

Noelle eyes him warily as he does a thorough once over. She's breathing heavily as she watches for anything that would give away his thought process. But she doesn't know why but she takes the advantage as she brings up her legs and kicks him in his dick.

She manages to get him down as she rolls off the bed. She runs to the door and turns sideways to reach the doorknob, but Hector recovers quickly and grabs her ankle and pulls her bringing her down hard onto her knees. He easily overpowers her as he straddles her and backhands her across the face.

But he doesn't stop there. She passes out after he hits her in her face in her eye and cheek. She's pretty sure he fractured something as her head bounces off the floor.

…

Jax finds himself secluded in Gemma's greenhouse with a bottle of whiskey. He didn't get any type of rest even after Clay had informed him that they had a plan to get into Kohn's hospital room to get answers.

His mind was still stuck on what Addie had said to him because she was right in saying it would be his fault if anything happened to Noelle. He was supposed to protect Noelle. That was his job as a husband was to protect her. And the reason Hector took her was his fault. He doesn't care what anyone said. His actions caused this. This was the consequence of him having the man stripped of a patch and humiliated.

It's only in the isolation surrounded by various plants that he allowed himself to cry again. He cries for failing as a husband. And even more for what being with Noelle has put her through. Since he started messing around with Noelle, he has made her life difficult. She's been shunned from her family. She has to bear the brunt of the gossip about them. Jax doesn't think of himself as a deadbeat father, but he knows that Noelle is the one that is raising their children. She's the one that takes care of him – them.

And he had let someone take her right underneath his nose.

He isn't even aware of another presence until a hand comes down onto his shoulder.

"She's just hurting baby." Gemma tells him as she offers him a steaming cup of coffee.

"If something happens to Noelle it's on me."

"Jax –"

"It is." Jax interrupts.

"That's just misguided guilt, Jax." Gemma snaps. "No one could've known what Hector or that ATF agent was going to do. You take that guilt and that hate and use it to find your wife and bring back your wife."

"Is anyone going to tell me what the hell is going on?"

Both Gemma and Jax jump at the sound of the voice. They turn and find Lena looking at them with scared and anxious eyes.

…

"Why did I have to get a hysterical phone call from my niece telling me about this shit!" Lena hisses at Jax. Jax and Lena were locked in the greenhouse. The only room that could provide them the most privacy from the kids and his mother's eyes and ears.

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Worry!" Lena repeats. Worry doesn't even begin to label what she is feeling. "She's my sister, Jax. I had the right to know the minute you knew. Jesus Christ, Jax, it's not just you who gets hurt if Noelle…if Noelle…" Lena trails off as her shoulders start to shake.

Jax thinks this is the first time he has ever really seen Lena so raw with emotions.

"How could you let this happen?" Lena lets slip pass her lips. Lena doesn't want to blame Jax. She really doesn't, but he is the closest thing that she can attack. The one piece that only makes and connects to why her sister was taken in the first place.

And despite her pain and anger, she knows she needs to think about her niece and nephews. She needs to actual deal with the high possibility that something can happen to her sister. Something can seriously happen to her sister.

A sob breaks through her lips as she falls into a chair.

"I'm sorry, Lena." Is what Jax is only able to say.

A bitter laugh escapes her lips as she looks at her brother in law, "Aren't you always."

…

Jax arrives at St. Thomas to find Clay and the guys in a hallway not too far from Agent Kohn's room. Clay greets him with a wide smile as he throws an arm over his shoulder. "Seems like the A, T and F don't seem that concerned about their little ATF buddy. Considering he is unguarded for a whole lunch break."

"Cameras?" Jax asks.

"St. Thomas is doing a little maintenance." Clay tells him with a cheesy smile before they stroll through the door.

For the first time, Clay really gets a good look at the man that has terrorized his family. He knows if it were him nothing would have stopped him from murdering the man on the spot, but he is a grandfather. So he needs to think smart. And being smart is backhanding the sleeping ATF agent, who immediately panics when he notices the envoy of bikers.

Jax immediately puts him in a choke hold while Tig is quick to slip the heart monitor onto his finger.

"Where's _my wife_?" Jax growls at the man.

Clay almost laughs at the terrified look on the man's face and a part of him wonders how in the hell Tara went from Jax to this man.

"I-I-I don't k-kn-know." The man chokes out.

Clay rolls his eyes and in a flash he darts his hands to the man's precious jewels and gives them a hard squeeze and twist. Kohn begins howling in pain and Jax immediately covers his mouth. Clay doesn't loosen his grip until the man's veins begin to bulge and tears line his eyes.

"I swear to you that I don't know." Kohn pleads. "I just wanted Tara. I don't know of his plan. I swear I don't."

Clay looks to Jax and Jax looks back to him. It all happens in seconds when Happy punches the man in his gut and soon the spread of blood is seen leaking through thin cloth of the blanket and hospital gown.

However, Opie's phone begins buzzing and the tall man answers it and an immediate frown covers his face. "Yo, Jax, that was Alvarez."

…

Lena finds herself chain smoking. It's all she really can do while waiting to hear anything about her sister's kidnapping.

"Aunt Lena?"

Lena's head turns and she finds AJ standing there looking scared. Sometimes she finds it weird how much this little boy looks like his father. "Come here, kid."

AJ moves quickly over to her and settles into his lap. Lena puts out her cigarette as she looks out into the dimming sky.

"Everything okay?" She asks her nephew. Last time she checked he was playing video games with his brother and Kenny. Addison had secluded herself in her room.

"Somethings wrong with Mommy," AJ says. "I know there is."

Lena purses her lips. She knows they were lucky with how long they were able to get away with not telling AJ anything. But he was a perceptive child. "A bad man has your mommy, but your daddy is doing everything to get her back." She tells her nephew.

AJ looks at her with those steely blue eyes – the eyes of Jax. "Daddy will get her back." AJ says confidently. "You shouldn't be sad, Aunt Lena."

A teary smile comes across her lips.

…

Noelle knows her face is various shades of blue and purple. In fact, she thinks Hector may have broken her cheek.

And she watches with a swollen eye that is practically sealed shut as Hector talks to a man that had arrived almost an hour ago. Apparently the man was doing Hector a very costly favor, but Hector didn't have the money to maintain the agreement.

And with only one good eye, she can tell that the man is wary of Hector considering the state of her face.

"Why in the hell do you have Jax Teller's wife?" The man asks heatedly. Noelle is surprised that she is even recognizable at this point.

"She's leverage."

"Leverage for what?"

"Don't worry about it."

"If I don't get my fucking money, Hector," the man warns ominously as he leaves the cabin.

Noelle watches silently as Hector pulls out his gun before he drops it and begins banging on the door. She's surprised the wood doesn't splinter. And the cabin is quiet for couple hours. Hector mumbles to himself and proceeds to cook and feed himself while Noelle watches silently bound to a chair.

Noelle closes her eyes before they pop open at the sound of a chair scraping against the floor.

Hector sits down in the chair in front of her. "You shouldn't have any scars after this. It would have been a shame to mark such a pretty face."

Noelle flinches when his hand comes up and touches her sore and swollen face. "How long have you and Jax been together?"

Noelle licks her busted lips as she takes a shaky breath. She doesn't answer, but only looks away.

Hector laughs. "Strong, silent type, I admire that." Hector leans forward and pulls out a knife and caresses the blade between his fingers. "You know I could have taken you and your little brats."

Noelle glares at him.

"Yeah, but I didn't. You should be thanking me."

"Jax is going to kill you." Noelle tells him.

"Maybe," Hector says with a shrug of his shoulders as he brings the knife up. The blade is pressed against her skin. "But, Jax is going to feel the same pain like I do."

A bubble of laughter escapes her sore throat. "All this because you were stripped of your patch. My god, that wasn't Jax's fault, it was yours. You _maldito idiota_. Your plan got Louisa killed."

It's expected when Hector backhands her that has her and the chair falling hard to the floor. The fall knocks the wind out of her.

Hector paces in front of her as he pulls at his hair.

Noelle shakes in the old creaky wooden chair violently hoping for some leverage. Hector grabs his knife and slams it down mere inches from her face. His hands grab her throat and despite the soreness she screams as he pulls her up with the chair.

"You know I was going to let you go. I was. But now, I'm going to call your husband bring him here. Make him watch as I kill you. Maybe I'll record it so your little brats can watch it too. Then I'm gonna kill him."

Noelle spits in his face and Hector screams as he kicks the chair enough force that a leg breaks. Soon the other legs give and the rope tied at her ankles give way.

Noelle gets up on shaky legs. She's hunched over as she supports the chair on her back. Hector seems to realize she has an advantage as he moves to run to the knife still in the floor.

Noelle screams as she charges at Hector. She turns back as she slams into him with the back of the chair. Hector pushes her off and she turns and falls on her back. The chair shatters more.

Noelle chokes for air and she can feel blood in her mouth and maybe her throat.

She can hear Hector moving towards her. This time the knife is in his hands. Noelle shakes violently trying to get out of her binds.

"See, I was at least going to let you say goodbye, but plans change." Hector raises his arm up and Noelle's arm still bound with rope to the arm rest manages to break it from the base and swings it up stabbing Hector in the stomach.

She watches as the wood embeds into his side. How the wood splinters into his skin. He looks as shocked as her from the unexpected move of defense.

Noelle rips the armrest out of his side as she doesn't even think as she stabs him again and again. She doesn't remember getting off the floor or even being free from the chair as she continues to just stab him. Doesn't realize her tears and blood are mixing as she looks down at her captor.

She doesn't hear the roars of multiple bikes. Doesn't hear them surrounded the house or even notices when they come in.

She doesn't even hear her husband calling out her name.

She jumps when a hand comes down on her shoulder and she turns ready to strike before she recognizes those blue eyes.

"Jax?" She croaks. Her throat is on fire at this point.

She doesn't notice the guys coming into the room or their anger upon seeing the state of her body.

"I'm here, Noe. I'm here." Jax tells her soothingly as her comes closer. He unties her binds and looks at her sore wrists and with the lightest touch runs his fingers over them. He does this all over her body until he pulls her into his arms gingerly.

Then she breaks fully as ugly sobs shake her body violently. She clutches her husband tightly.

"Jax." Clay's voice breaks through her fog. "He's still alive."

Noelle doesn't turn her head to look. Jax doesn't even let her go as she feels his arm move to the side to his gun holster.

She doesn't even flinch when she hears the safety of his gun click off. She only looks as her husband extends his arm and shoots Hector point blank in the forehead.


	20. Tellers

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I always find my last chapters to be the shortest and hardest to write. I want to thank you all for coming on this journey with Jax and Noelle. I'm glad you guys have stuck it out and seemed to enjoy this AU. So thank you for all the feedback you guys have given along with the favorites and follows!

 _until then._

* * *

 _ **A YEAR LATER**_

Jax's eyes fly open. The same recurring nightmare he has been having the past months paralyze his body. Since Noelle's kidnapping, he has been having dreams of what could have happened if Hector succeeding in killing his wife. Or worse, sometimes he imagines if Hector had managed to get one of his kids instead of taking Tara. However, the one that currently has his body tense and his breath coming in short hard spurts is the one of finding Noelle dead in their kitchen. The cozy warm kitchen where she makes all their meals with love and fills their belly to the point they might burst. Their kitchen in his dreams turns into a battlefield as blood stained the floors and walls. Jax is always taken back by how much blood is literally everywhere in the kitchen.

Everything time without fail, he comes in the kitchen after seeing Noelle's feet. He'll call out her name and won't receive a response. He will pull out his gun as he slowly walks in. Then he sees his wife laying still on the floor in front of the sink. He drops his gun at his feet and as his feet move forward he stumbles over it as he tries to process what he is seeing.

The most jarring part is that when he reaches her still body is he can feel the weight of her in his arms. How her body feels warm, but he knows it not. Or that when he holds her close and he caresses her face as he has done a thousand times, when he presses his lips against her he doesn't receive a response.

But then he looks up to find an empty baby car seat signaling their taken child.

As the images recedes from his eyes, he turns over and immediately turns to where Noelle is sleeping peacefully on her side. Her back is facing him and he scoots over and wraps his arms around her. He places a hand on her stomach and relief flows through him as he feels the movement. It feels like butterflies' wings against the palm of his hands.

He begins to rub her belly hoping to still the movement.

Thankfully, this pregnancy hasn't been difficult nor does their child have the family flaw. Yet, now that Noelle is heavily pregnant in her last few weeks, her discomfort is obvious.

After Salazar and the healing that followed when it came to their family, they both were blindsided when she announced her pregnancy. He knew Noelle wanted to throttle him. And he knows his wife has contemplated doing that every day as she progresses further along with this pregnancy.

After all, the family is still on shaky ground almost a year later. The kids never want Noelle out of their sight. It took them awhile for them to not check on their mother even in the house if they didn't hear anything for a couple seconds.

AJ was the quickest one to bounce back. He, at first, had been startled and scared when he had first seen Noe. The beating Hector had done to her had been severe. The image of her face so blue and swollen will forever be seared in his mind. And he hates that it will also haunt his children. As Noelle's bruises had healed and faded away so did AJ's worry and fear.

Noah was second. He kept close to his mother. He practically waited on her hand and foot. Noelle and Noah had always had this remarkable bond. He knows there are things he isn't privy too in how Noelle had help assure him eventually that things were okay. That things would be okay.

But he can tell that the fear of losing his mother will never leave his son. He can see how he lingers on his mom with every hug. Or he goes out of his way to help her out with things.

And it took a while for Noah to look him in the eyes. Even then Jax can feel the blame that he had failed to protect Noelle. Things were still awkward between him and his oldest as with Noelle's kidnapping the truth had been exposed fully of the world they were living in because of him.

With Addison, it depends on which side the coin lands on. Most days it's just lingering anger.

Really it's just passive aggressiveness.

At times, he doesn't even think it's about the kidnapping she feels upset about. He thinks it was the lies that hurt her the most. And it's been hard trying to win her good favor – her trust. He knows that Noelle's kidnapping broke the one trust they had in him when it came to protecting their mother.

And it was hard convincing Lena that everything was okay. They were okay now he assumes. But just like with Addie, she had a lot of passive aggressiveness towards him. There were times all they did was bicker at one another for about three months as Lena had decided to stay with them.

And as much as Jax loves his sister in law, he was close to hating her by the end of the three months. He knows though Noelle loved having her sister with them for a prolong period of time.

Yet the most surprising outcome from the kidnapping was Noelle's response to it. She had nightmares occasionally. Sometimes she couldn't help in making sure the locks were on the doors a few times. She had requested a very expensive security system for her store and the house.

She was becoming extra vigilant in knowing where the kids were at all times.

Then there were moments that he found that she would cling to him. A certain noise would make her scared and the only comfort she seemed to find was with him or holding one of the kids.

But in the end, Noelle had bounced back quickly just like their youngest son.

He is another story.

His life had put his wife in danger. His family had been in danger. He used to be comforted by the fact that sure his life may be at risk, but his wife and his children were safe at home. If something were to happen to him he could trust his brothers to take care of his family.

And it was wrong for him to assume that. As his life was a danger to his family.

Jax knows he should push Noelle to leave as he had done before, but he knows she won't. As he knows that he will probably never leave the Life. Is it selfish of him not to, maybe, but he knows he can't lie to his wife and family about being anything other than an outlaw.

He found himself in a weird place. Despite, Noelle never once throwing it in his face that it was him that had set off the chain of events that led to her kidnapping.

But things have been on still waters especially when they had to tell the kids about the new baby.

He can admit the kids have been taking it better than he thought they would considering the age gaps. Although he has a feeling that once the baby comes and keeps them all up at night it may change. Although since they have decided to be surprised by the gender of this baby, it has kept the kids on their toys as they wait for the arrival of their youngest sibling. Jax has a feeling though that this baby will be a boy.

Yet, he is enjoying the pregnancy as he knows this will be the last one. He had already agreed to fix the "problem". He had thought that was a good birthday gift to his wife.

So he takes every opportunity to admire his wife, as this pregnancy has been different than the other three pregnancies. With the other kids, she had carried only in the belly. Nowhere else.

With this one, she has become fuller everywhere especially in her hips and thighs. Her breasts are swollen with milk and he knows they have jumped a few cup sizes. Her lips are full and pouty, which always beg to be kissed.

It's a magnificent sight to him.

She's reveling in this last pregnancy.

It's something he cherishes. He thinks most of it comes from a primal animal instinct in knowing that he played a significant part in these changes to his wife's body. And he fills even with more pride as he has been the only one to do this to Noelle.

So he appreciates as her stomach keeps getting rounder with their child. Like with previous pregnancy, they detail and take pictures of how her stomach grows each week. He knows he didn't really take advantage of these small moments at first with Noah, Addie, and AJ, but now he fully does. He even played a part in picking out the cardstock paper and all the decorative add-ons for this child's scrapbook.

He smiles as the movement against the palm of his hands lull. It still weirded him out to see Noelle's stomach contort to their child's movement. His smile widens as he thinks about how confused AJ is trying to understand that there is a baby inside his mom's belly or even that he and like Noah and Addie had once been there too.

However, his smile drops a little as a grimace comes across her face and her eyes flutter open. The baby must be pressing against an organ.

"I don't think Noah, Addie, or AJ were this excited in the womb." She mumbles as she shifts a little as his hand continues to rub her belly.

"You sure? I remember Noah doing some impressive kicks." Jax recalls. However, maybe being a first time father everything seemed heightened.

"Noah was the easiest pregnancy." She tells him as her hand covers his. "Addie gave me the worst morning sickness. AJ wasn't too bad. Gained a lot of weight though. I was scared I wouldn't bounce back to my _old lady shape_."

Jax snorts. "You shouldn't be worrying about that."

"So you would still want me if I never lose my pregnancy weight."

"That's a stupid question. Of course I would."

"I said want, Jax. Not love."

"You could look like Aunt Marge and I would still want you." Jax tells her as he thinks about a character from Addie's favorite book series.

Noelle laughs. "You're so full of shit."

"Is that what you believe, darlin'?" He asks lowly as his hand moves from her belly to her thighs.

Noelle nods her head and she releases a breathy low sigh.

His fingers traced her clit over her cotton panties as her breathing begins to get heavier.

He finds that with pregnancy, everything is heighted with Noelle. Noelle has always been a quick trigger something he knows he takes advantage of. Yet, now, one look from him seems to always have her ready to explode.

When his fingers dip underneath her panties, he hears her breath hitch. Noelle clutches her pillow tightly as he rubs soft circles before his fingers dip between her folds.

"Jax," she moans. And he spurs into action.

He leans up and motions for her to get on her hands and knees. She complies easily. He doesn't bother removing her underwear as he eases them to the side. He slides his boxers off and he enters and stretches her slowly. Already, he can feel her juice leaking out of her and down her thighs.

He fucks her slowly.

His fingers are tight on her hips as she fists the sheets. One of his hands moves up and pulls down the collar of her cami to free her breasts. Every snap of his hips has her sensitive nipples brushing against the sheets.

With every thrust, he can feel her tightening around him. She releases straggled gasps at the sensation. He moves down to gather some of her wetness before he brings his fingers back up and rubs her darkened peaks with them. Her body jerks and one hand that was fisting the sheets grips the headboard.

"Fuck, Jax." She groans as he pinches one with enough pressure that had her burying her face in the pillows. "Jax, please."

"Please what darlin'." He asks as his fingers find her swollen clit.

He finds his answer, as she grabs his wrist and presses his fingers, as hard as she can against her, as she comes hard. Her hips jerked violently. "Oh shit, shit, shit," she stammers as she rubs against his hand.

As she clamps down on him, he shudders as he spills inside her. His hips stutter in place as she continues to clench around him.

"Fuck, Noe," Jax mutters as he pulls out.

Noelle laughs against her pillow as he can tell her body is feeling sated. She is practically boneless as she melts into the bed.

Jax makes quit work in cleaning them both up before he climbs back into bed and holds her the best he can.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks referencing his nightmare. He thinks it wasn't the baby's movement that woke her up.

"Just another dream." He tells her simply. He has never gone into detail about them to her, but he knows that she knows they are about Hector and things that could've been. "Besides, I feel all better now."

"Glad, I could be of assistance."

Jax chuckles lowly before he presses a kiss to her head. "I love you, Noe."

"I love you too, Jax."


	21. Outtake 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Just to be clear these outtakes aren't from previously posted chapters. In the original drafts of this story, I planned to actually depict the beginning of Jax's and Noelle's relationship starting in high school while he was still with Tara. So these are just small scenes I had envisioned for them. I hope you enjoy these little outtakes!

* * *

Jax creeps to the doorway of the greenhouse where his Mom is working diligently on her plants. It's May and he knows his mom has just come from the store with fresh soil for her spring time plants. Sometimes he thinks she may love her plants more than him and Clay combined. Yet, he knows her love from planting is somehow connected to her own childhood – parents. The grandparents that he barely knows and has seen only two times in his whole life, both of those circumstances weren't exactly great.

It's strange to him that for a woman who is so protective of her family, and values of what it means to be a family that there is such an estrangement between his mom and her parents. He knows that the estrangement is most likely from the fact that his Mom had ran away, gotten with his Dad, and was a driving force in making Charming the roots to his father's dreams.

It's history though he doesn't think about very often, but now he thinks that he should.

After all, family is very important and he is about to learn that very _very_ soon. If his mom doesn't kill him first that is.

Even at the age of 21, Jax can admit that his mom is downright fierce when she wants to be. Considering he has never put his mom in this situation before, he doesn't know how to predict her reaction.

"Are you going to come in or what?" She asks as she places her shovel down and turns to look at him.

Jax gives her a sheepish smile as he swaggers in the greenhouse that Clay had built for his mom simply because she asked him to.

And he wonders what his Mom and his Dad had and even her and Clay now have will be something he will be able to have. Although now that he thinks on it, he is following in his father's footsteps a little too closely. So maybe he will.

"You know I love you, Mom," he tells her as he comes up and hugs her tightly.

He knows his Mom is the strongest woman in his Life and possibly the whole world. Despite his Dad's and Thomas' death, she had managed to remain strong for him and their family of outlaw bikers.

She smiles at him softly. "I love you too, baby." She replies sweetly before her eyes narrow slightly. "So what the hell did you do?"

Jax sighs as he moves and sits in the armchair in the greenhouse directly across from where his Mom is standing.

There were a lot of things Jax knows that he does his mom simply overlooks, but he knows she knows about the shit he gets himself entangled into. But right now, he knows for certain she has no idea about what he has been doing since this past February and really longer if he thinks about the beginning – the seeds that have grown into what has now become. If anything, his constant parade of croweaters has probably kept her off his trail.

So in the end he decides to just rip off the band-aide.

"You're going to be a grandma." He tells her in one breath.

He watches for the first time that he sees an unguarded reaction from his mom as her eyes widen in shock and a hand goes to her heart. He thinks he might see her eyes watering a bit as she sags against the table behind her. But it's all swept away in seconds as her eyes narrow dangerously. His fierce spitfire mother is back, "So help me god, Jackson, it better not be that fucking junkie croweater Wen –"

His own eyes widen. "What! No! It's not!"

"Is it a croweater?" She hisses.

"No."

" _Who_?" She demands as she cocks her hips.

Jax wipes a hand down his face as he leans back in his chair. "Noelle Harper."

The greenhouse goes quiet as his Mom sucks in a breath and turns around to face her plants. He knows what his mom is thinking another outsider.

"Have you lost your goddamn mind!" She hisses. "Did you learn nothing from Tara?"

Jax winces at the mention of Tara, but he also feels a flare of anger. "Noelle isn't like Tara."

Gemma snorts. "When it comes to pussy, I don't think you're the best judge of that."

Jax openly glares at his mother. For one thing, Noelle isn't just pussy.

"What is Noelle going to do when she finds out about the croweaters? The gun running? Or were you too preoccupied with being a knight in shining armor to get her out from her uptight parents?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Jax says with a clenched jaw.

"Is she your old lady?"

"That isn't important at the moment, Mom." He tells her sadly. He's about to become a father and he's scared out of his mind. He's going to have a baby. A small, precious baby that will depend on him.

At least his mom takes some pity on him as she backs down. The fire is slowly receding in her.

She comes to stand next to him and sighs.

"When's she due?"

"November." He tells her. Apparently their kid is due around the same time as Noelle's birthday.

"When did this all start?"

"February," he tells her. Valentine's Day to be exact when Noelle finally let him in.

"Like father like son." His mom replies.


	22. Outtake 2

Jax bustles into his Mom's house with a screaming 6 month old Noah. Noelle had left for a three day trip to visit Lena for her gallery opening. And Noelle, hesitantly, had left Jax in charge of their son. Yet, Jax had insisted instead of taking Noah, as it was in her original plan, that she should use this as a break. Jax wasn't blind to the fact Noelle is the primary caretaker of their son. She was the one making sure he came home to a clean house and home cooked food. His fiancé deserved a break.

However, he was feeling like a shit parent for not being able to handle his screaming, cranky, and teething son.

In a move of defeat, he had packed the little boy into his truck and high tailed it to his mother's. Of course, his mom would see through the move, but she wasn't going to deny time with her grandson.

Except his mother isn't home and he only finds Clay sitting at the dining room table with a hot bowl of oatmeal as he reads the paper.

As if Noah can sense his disappointment, he begins to cry louder making him and Clay wince.

Clay stands up out of his chair as Jax places Noah, in his carrier, on the table.

Jax knows his frustration is evident as he hastily begins to unclip the boy and scour for his binky. Jax is rocking him as he finds the thing in his pocket, but Noah immediately spits it out. And Jax swears that his son had glared at him with a scrunched up nose the way Noelle does when he is about to get his ass chewed for something.

"Give him here to me, son," Clay says with pure sympathy.

Clay can see that Jax is clearly fumbling with his first actual weekend home alone with his infant son. He cradles his grandson close and he dips his fingers in his warm oatmeal and puts it up to Noah's mouth where the boy immediately latches on. His crying ceases and as Clay feels around on his gums he can feel some teeth coming through. Good thing Gemma had bought some teething rings just for their house.

Jax exhales a deep breath as he takes a seat in the car.

"When's Noelle coming back?" Clay asks. Outside of the teething, Clay thinks the little boy just misses his mother.

"Tomorrow night." Jax replies. "Where's Mom?"

"She's out shopping with Luann." He informs his stepson. "Has he been crying all morning?"

Jax nods his head. "And since last night. I gave him the teething rings, the teeth cream, fed him, and everything. I was considering even putting some whiskey on his gums. I don't need Noelle thinking I can even watch our own kid."

Clay cracks a little smile. "You're a first time father, son. If I recall, correctly, your Dad acted the same way with you when Gemma had left for a weekend. Mind you, you were a much more active baby than Noah."

Jax eyes his step-father as he gazes lovingly at Noah in his arms. Despite knowing Clay his whole life and loving him as an uncle and then a bit reluctantly at first a stepfather, he finds it strange that Clay never settled down into a family man until his mother. As he was aware, his mom was Clay's only old lady and wife and Clay didn't have any illegitimate children running around.

And now he finds it weird considering Clay seemed to thrive in the role as a grandfather and even father. And Jax knows he hasn't made it easy for Clay when he became aware that not only was Clay taking his father's place as the President of the club, but as his mother's old man.

"How come you never had kids?" Jax asks Clay without thinking.

Clay looks up at him and doesn't seem bothered by the question. "I had you."

Jax rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean."

Clay sighs as he sits down and quickly swipes some more oatmeal on his finger for Noah to suck on. "I never thought I would be cut out for fatherhood." He tells his son softly.

When he was young, his mom had instilled into him that she wasn't going to be taking care of no babies because he wanted to fool around. Really thinking on it he was mom was real progressive when it came to teaching him about his sexual health. He thinks that had more to do with the fact his father had committed the ultimate betrayal by having a second family his mother had found out about when he came home with the clap and a woman demanding child support.

But considering he grew up with little money, he knew a kid was something he couldn't have financially. Then he enlisted and went to war and even if he did become entangled with a few nurses and the lovely ladies overseas, who had a fantasy for American men, he made sure his shit was wrapped.

Then after the war, he had formed the club with John and Piney. The club was his world – is his world. He couldn't fit a woman and child into that considering the vision they wanted for the club. Sure he had watched John marry Gemma and Piney marry Mary and pop out a couple of kids, but he was fine in being the fun uncle. He was satisfied and didn't feel any pangs about family considering the crazy women Tig and Bobby had settled down with briefly.

But then John died and somehow in grief and mourning, he found himself enamored with Gemma Teller. He can admit there was a lot of shame as this was his best friend's wife. And he can say when John was alive he never had thoughts of Gemma that way. Yes, he always admired her for the strong Old Lady she was and is. He respected her for the way she backed the club and supported her old man even after some idiotic moves from John, but they were strictly platonic feelings. Until they weren't.

And he found himself not only being a husband, but a father and as he eyes Jax the boy sure as shit didn't make it easy in the beginning.

But they stumbled through even if Jax was practically a man when he married Gemma.

And even if Jax wasn't his by blood, it didn't matter. He loves Jax. The boy is his son.

And now he has a grandson.

Clay looks up at Jax, "But things have a way of working out in the end."

"Yeah, they do."

Clay stands up and he passes a content Noah off back into his son's arms. "You'll do fine, Jax."

Jax nods his head and Clay squeezes his shoulder as he walks away into the kitchen with his empty bowl of oatmeal.

However, Jax sniffs and scrunches his nose as he looks at a smiling Noah. "Ah, Clay."


	23. Outtake 3

With Noelle at school, Jax is clocking in some legal hours at Teller Morrow, and Gemma playing chaperone for a trip to the zoo with Noah and Ellie, Clay finds himself home alone with his 2 year old granddaughter.

The two year old follows him into the kitchen, where Gemma has left a steaming pot of oatmeal before she dashed out the door barely ten minutes ago.

"Grandma made some oatmeal." He tells Addie. The little girl looks at him with brown eyes that he swears are Gemma's and scrunches her nose.

"I don't want oatmeal." She states as she climbs up onto the chair. Clay swears he is dealing with a mini Jax. Addie has his son's personality. The boy always knew what he wanted and he has no problem showing people that either. Addie doesn't seem to have that problem either.

"Well, Ads, that's all we have. We got some fruit. Grape, strawberries, and even pears. All your favorites." He tells his granddaughter as he collects some bowls from the shelves.

"I want pancakes and cheesy eggs." Addie replies. "Please."

"Ads, Grandma made your favorite, Maple." He tries to sell to the two year old. He even scoops some in the bowl for her and places it on the table with a glass of milk. Of course, she only acknowledges the milk as she takes a sip.

"But I'm not hungry for oatmeal. I want eggs and pancakes." She tells him.

"Ads."

"Grandpa."

"Addie…"

"Grandpa, I would really like some eggs and pancakes please." She says again with a wide smile and even bats her eyes at him.

"What's wrong with the oatmeal?"

"Nothing." Addie replies before taking another generous sip of her milk.

"Well then eat it," he tells her as he begins to work on his own bowl.

Addie doesn't make a move to eat her warm oatmeal. In fact, she doesn't even drink her milk as she stares him down. Clay does his best to be occupied with the oats in his mouth. He even sips on his coffee as he glosses over the paper at the table.

Yet, he can't ignore the brown eyes that are burning a hole into him. And Clay is not going to cave. He's been in a war, he's President of an outlaw club, he's been to prison, and has skirted with death a bunch of times and he has never broke his will. He will be damned if a two year old will break him.

So he loudly eats his oatmeal, but those brown eyes are staring into his soul he feels like.

"Grandpa?" She says quietly almost in a whisper.

"Alright, alright, alright." Clay groans as he accepts defeat.

…

Luckily, after breakfast, Addie is fine in amusing herself for a bit. Considering the toys that have overtaken the house, it would be hard for Addie to not find something to do. Clay decides to take advantage of the possible peace of 30 minutes and closes his eyes. After all, Addie isn't like Noah. He doesn't have to worry about her causing chaos in the house.

He thinks his eyes haven't been closed for even 15 minutes when the smell of alcohol fills his nostrils. He's not sure it's even alcohol, but the scent burns his nose. His limbs begin to twitch and he hears an annoyed sigh that is similar to his wife's.

"Don't move, Grandpa, or I'll mess up." She orders.

Clay freezes and it's then that he feels a cool liquid on his fingertips. His eyes snap open and he finds Addie holding some of Gemma's nail polish. He doesn't even ask how she was able to find it.

"It's black, Grandpa. So it'll match your kutte." She tells him as she paints his thumb nail.

Clay knows better than to demand the nail polish remover.

"Do you think we can visit Daddy at work?" She asks.

"Of course, sweetheart."

…

Clay knew that raising a granddaughter would be vastly different from having a grandson. In fact, considering that he knew Gemma's small quirks that she would pass down would be much more noticeable in a little girl than boy.

It is quite obvious that the little girl has inherited her grandmother's silver tongue. Because he is sure he doesn't understand how he is rocking a black feather boa while his granddaughter has a bright neon pink one. It seems that his little girl is in a dress up phase.

Luckily as he pulls into the lot with a nice lunch from Lumpy for his step-son, no one comments on Clay's new fashion accessory, in fear of losing their patch or having his size 13 boots shoved up their ass. Besides, his nail polish and boa don't clash with his outfit.

Clay sips on his nice cool Coke as Jax holds his rambunctious two-year old.

"So it seems you and Grandpa are having fun." Jax comments with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Yeah, but Grandpa wouldn't let me put eye makeup on him like you do Daddy." Addie reveals.

Clay can't help that knowing grin that he throws at his son. He can only imagine what his son looks like with smoky eyeshadow.

"Doesn't he look pretty with the boa? I made sure his nail polish match." Addie beams proudly.

Clay could snort at the thought of looking pretty.

Jax is actively trying to bite back his laughter. "Sure, darlin'. Grandma will like it."

"You think so?" Addie asks her father.

"Of course," Jax tells her fondly.

And Clay can't help but get a little choked up as he watches Addie give Jax a tight hug.

…

After a large lunch, both Addie and Clay crash for Addie's customary two hour nap. He wakes up to find his granddaughter buried in his side. As he checks the clock, it's only 3 in the afternoon. He imagines that Gemma or Noelle should be back soon.

Addie stretches next to him like a cat before she looks up at him with bright brown eyes. He finds a kiss planted on his cheek.

"What was that for?" He wonders.

"Because I love you. You're the best Grandpa!"


	24. Outtake 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is only in Noelle's POV, but I think we all can deduce why Jax is acting the way he is in this short scene.

* * *

With Noah on the cusps of four and Addie turning 3 soon, Noelle thinks it's a perfect time for her to think about going back to school. Noah would be starting Kindergarten and she is going to enroll Addie into preschool. And considering she will have a bunch of free time on her hands, as much as she loves being a mom, being a stay home mom isn't something that truly fulfills her. She needs more out of life. She needs something outside of her marriage to Jax.

And because she knows her husband, he probably won't take this type of change with an open mind. She knows that Jax doesn't mind supporting her and the kids and she's surprised that for the past four years he has been okay being the breadwinner. She doesn't seem to mind it either as it almost reminds her of her parents' relationship as her dad was the breadwinner as well.

It wasn't as if Jax every really questioned when she asked for money. After all, she had complete access to his money and he never seemed to wonder if she did reckless spending. They were never hurting for money despite living on one income for two kids.

But she knows that Jax doesn't really seem to take to change especially when things are seemingly perfect. She also believes that her husband had some deep rooted insecurity about them. As they both were from two different worlds.

So she had made sure to have done all her research. She had already talked to potential schools and calculated the financial costs. She worked out the tentative class schedule she would have. It would require more help from Jax and Gemma, but it was something that wouldn't drastically change the function of their family.

So she plans it perfectly.

She had made a large dinner – a feast – for Jax to come home too. She had made sure that the kids were quick to go down to bed. She had put on a nice little nightie for her husband and decided to relax her husband first with a nice massage. Depending on how he took the news of her wanting to go to school decided if she would give him the main prize.

After getting her husband to putty, Jax obviously can see through some of her scheming as he turns to lay on his back. A knowing smile graces his laps as he holds onto her thighs.

"So how much is it going to cost me?" He asks with a raise of an eyebrow.

Noelle moves off her husband and gives him a sheepish smile. "Well it can vary, but I'm thinking of going back to school for my Bachelor's."

Jax is quiet as he stares at her before he leans up on his forearms. "You're serious?"

Noelle nods her head. "I mean before I found out I was pregnant with Noah that was my plan. I was going to go to school."

"And what about the kids?"

"They'll be in school during class times and there's your mom. I also have been looking into daycare. The school has one." She informs him.

"Daycare? You want to send our kids to strangers." Jax questions with a furrowed brow.

"They're not strangers, Jax. They are professionals and the kids need interaction outside of the club."

Jax sits up fully. "So you expect me to pay for your schooling and the day care when you're perfectly capable of watching the kids."

Noelle shakes her head. "One, I can take loans out to pay for my education and secondly, don't you dare question me on my capabilities of raising our children." She tells him with a little bite in her voice. It was an argument her husband would lose.

"Then where is this coming from? You bored or something?" Jax says flippantly as he goes to light a cigarette.

"You ever think I just want more in my life?" She questions him. Besides he had the club and the garage outside of her and the kids. She only had him and the kids.

"What the kids and I aren't enough?"

"I didn't say that. I just want to be more than a _housewife_ , Jax." She remarks bitterly.

Jax shakes his head. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?" She asks confused.

"Because I don't." Jax tells her. "You'll be exhausted all the time –"

"Don't worry; I will still have time to suck your dick if that's what you're worried about." Noelle spits as she moves off the bed.

"You're not doing it." He tells her calmly, but his tone makes Noelle's spine stiffen. Of course, she and Jax have verbal fights before. Considering her husband can be an insensitive ass most of the time, like now, it was bound to happen. However, she hasn't heard this tone before. This calm deep tone that she has heard before from other men when addressing their old ladies in public, especially when the Old Lady does something unfavorable in the eyes of their old man. She realizes he is ordering her.

"Tough shit because I am. I already applied to Stockton." She informs him to his shock. "I start in the Fall. This is my life. You don't get a say in _this_ matter."

Jax nostrils flare as he stands up on his side of the bed. "You're my wife. _My old lady_. Do as you're told. You're not going and you're going to stay here and raise our kids."

Noelle grabs a pillow and throws it at him. " _Do as I'm told!"_ She repeats incensed. "You're such a sexist asshole, you know that. I'm not one to be ordered around, Jackson."

"Tough shit. I could be a fucking blubbering idiot, but I'm still your old man and I'm telling you you're not going to do this."

Noelle literally thinks she can murder her husband and there isn't enough pillows to throw at him and they aren't even heavy to do significant damage to him.

"No, I've sacrificed a lot for you," Noelle shouts. "I'm doing this one thing for myself and I would appreciate my husband's support. If you can't provide that, I suggest you pack a bag and make a new home at the clubhouse."


	25. Outtake 5

**Happy Thanksgiving!**

* * *

Noah knows he should be sleeping, but he's not tired. Even after his daddy read his favorite book three times. He didn't have it in him to tell his daddy that Mommy read the books a little bit better, but Mommy was dealing with Baby Addie.

Noah took pity on his father and closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

So now as he lays in bed for what feels like forever he creeps from his bed. He gets out from under the covers and he creeps into his sister room where she is sleeping soundly with her butt in the air. He thinks it is cute. Besides, it's better than her crying all the time.

He walks back into the hallway with plans to sneak in the kitchen when he hears a sound. He stops and creeps to his parents' door.

Then he hears it again. It's his mommy and she's making a weird noise. Almost sounds like she's in pain.

He feels a burst of anger as no one is allowed to hurt his mommy. Not even his daddy.

Noah bursts in the room and his little legs take him to the bed to defend his mommy. His daddy is on top of his mommy. He's hurting her. "Get off her," he screams with teary eyes and fists pounding in fury at his daddy.

He is lifted high in the air and he realizes his daddy is holding him against his bare chest. _His daddy is laughing at him!_ He shrieks in rage as he opens his eyes and kicks harder. His little fists fly in outrage. He screams a battle cry as he defends his mommy.

His mommy wraps a sheet around herself and sits up and reaches out for him. His daddy puts him in her arms and Noah latches onto her. He curls into his mother angry and crying.

"Shh…it's alright, Noah." She soothes as she rubs his back and rocks him gently. His eyes open as he hears his father move next to them. His nostrils flare and he squirms for another attack. He glares at his daddy.

"Calm down, Little Man, I'm not hurting your mother." His daddy says with a soft smile. Noah scowls as his daddy is still laughing!

Noah is confused. He looks up at his mommy. "Why were you making that noise?"

His mommy and daddy look at each other. His dad's blue eyes look at him gently.

"I was showing your mom that I love her in a grown up way." His daddy explains.

Noah is still confused.

His mommy presses a kiss to his head. "One day you will understand."

He highly doubts that, but he watches as his dad presses a kiss to his mommy's shoulder. He is used to seeing stuff like that. They kiss each other all the time. Sometimes Noah thinks it isn't normal for how much his parents kiss. Noah thinks that he will ask Grandpa and Grandma about how grown ups display love. He snuggles into his mother's warmth as she lulls him to sleep. At least, he knows his daddy loves his mommy.

Jax and Noelle watch their young son sleep, tucked into Noelle's body. Jax places a kiss on her neck.

Noelle sighs. "I suppose we should be quieter or _you_ could lock the door."

Jax eyes gleam. "Next time you should be on top. Maybe he'll defend my honor."


	26. Outtake 6

"I don't know why you are so nervous," Noelle says as she curls her hair.

Jax watches from the perch on their bed. Noelle has claimed that pregnancy has given her better – fuller – hair. To him her blonde luscious locks look the same.

"Never really met a girlfriend's family before," Jax mutters. Today he was meeting the most important person to Noelle, her sister, Lena.

In the past, with Tara, she just had her deadbeat, abusive, drunk dad. So what he had to say didn't matter. Now it's different. He knows that Lena's opinion matters to Noelle and how this goes will probably affect their relationship moving forward.

With the announcement of her pregnancy that she could no longer hide, Jax had moved Noelle into his mom's house until he was able to secure something for their family. Jax can admit with having Noelle in his bed – in his childhood room – isn't all that great with his mom down the hall. Especially considering how tempting she is to his libido. Now that there were a few choices narrowed down, Lena was coming down to look at the final places.

He has only seen Lena through pictures. When Noelle and her family moved to Charming, Lena wasn't with them. As Lena was a lesbian, it didn't fit with the image the family was trying to maintain. But Lena had managed to rise above it. She worked as a hair stylist that put her through art school and was now a rising artist. She also had met her longtime girlfriend, Sarah, who happens to be going to medical school.

Despite Lena being a few hours away, he knows that Lena is very protective of Noelle. So Jax is nervous because he knows that Lena will probably murder him or something if he hurts Noelle. And he hasn't really ever talked to her. He can just tell especially when the two are on the phone and Noelle does this little giggle as she looks at him with a sly smile. He knows nothing good comes from women laughing.

Jax watches as Noelle places the curling iron down and turns to him. A small smile is one her face as she turns towards him and steps between his thighs. His hands immediately go to her waist that travels up to the small bump. She's only 16 weeks. In two more weeks, hopefully, they will find out the gender of their baby. Yesterday, the kid wouldn't uncross its legs. Noelle's hands go into his hair and she begins massaging his scalp.

"You're overthinking this." Noelle mutters. "I don't think Lena will bust your balls."

Jax almost snorts. "Easy for you to say."

Noelle grips a chunk of his hair and pulls his head back so he is looking right up into her eyes. "Hey, you moved me, your baby mama, into your _mother's_ house."

The corner of Jax's lips quirk up. "Yeah, I guess you're right about that." He knows that his mother has been busting Noelle's balls since they first met. In fact, if Noelle can survive the temporary stay with his mother than he knows Noelle is a keeper.

"You'll be fine. Lena is like the female version of you." Noelle tells him before pecking his lips and going back to curling her hair.

…

To avoid a possible passive aggressiveness from his mother trying to get a read on Lena, Jax had suggested they all meet at the hotel Lena was staying in.

Considering he didn't have a car, and Noelle's was in the shop, they were stuck using his mom's Escalade. Jax is leaning against the hood of the car as he watches Lena and Noelle embrace tightly.

The two sisters seem the completely opposites. Noelle was all blonde wavy hair, curves, and blue eyes and strikingly feminine. Lena, on the other hand, has short choppy brown hair, lanky, and was dressed androgynously. Jax thinks she looks like Joan Jett from the loose white shirt, black blazer, and tight skinny jeans.

As Lena embraces her sister, her dark brown eyes connect to his. She whispers something in Noelle's ear before they pull apart. Jax stands up straighter as Noelle leads Lena over to him.

"Lena, this is Jax. Jax, this is Lena," Noelle says with a smile on her face.

Jax extends his hand, but he is taken back when Lena embraces him in a tight hug. "Nice to finally meet you, Jax." She tells him with a smile. It's warm and friendly and for some reason it reminds him of Opie.

"Same to you," Jax says as he looks between the two sisters. There are smiles in their eyes and he knows this is going to be a long day.

…

Jax had expected something different. He was expecting sly looks and passive digs from Lena. However, she only inquired about the houses. She asked about him and his family. He had expected the judgement in her eyes about the club, but she had seemed curious. He told her what he could. Then conversation turned to things about cars, bikes, and drinks they liked. He had been surprised she had a party girl passed that put his playboy antics to shame.

Soon, they head back to hotel; Noelle wants to take a nap, and Lena and Jax head down to the bar. Noelle had decided on a three bedroom Bungalow. It was something nice to start out. After all, it wasn't if they have really discussed anything heavy. The main focus was the baby and nothing past the baby had been breached. It was unsaid if they were together or not. Sure, they were living together and were getting a house. It didn't necessarily mean anything. Sure a baby connected them – bonded them. But it didn't mean they were _together._

"So you and my sister together?"

Jax looks up at Lena. Her brown eyes are looking straight into his blue ones with no hesitation. "Haven't exactly labelled anything. Taking it a day at a time." He tells her truthfully. After all, they weren't exactly together while they were fucking around. This was a complete surprise.

"Do you want to try?"

"I would be stupid not to," Jax admits. He knows how much of a catch Noelle is. She's beautiful and smart and he is all too aware of the whispers around town about her being soiled by him. Everyone knows that her parents have cut her off. "But I don't want to rush her or have her thinking that we're only together because of the baby." Besides, both of them are young. Noelle just graduated high school.

Lena smiles, showing all her teeth. "Smart man."

"Not too smart, obviously."

"Well, seems my sister wasn't either. Must be a good lay to make her forget protection." Lena points out before she takes a sip of her drink.

Jax only shrugs his shoulders. He's surprised he got so caught up he missed wrapping it up. He knows it was more than one time too.

"You meet my parents yet?" She asks abruptly.

"I only met them once when they first moved here. Never spoke to them. Noe wouldn't let me be there when she told them the news." Noelle had refused for him to be there. He didn't push why.

Lena scratches at her scalp. "Yeah, my sister is notorious for that. Thinks she can shoulder everything to protect others. She always used to do that to me when we were younger. I know they tried to make her perfect. Wanted her to be a certain way."

"She doesn't talk about them much."

"Shouldn't waste time or the breath on them anyways." Lena says sadly as she seems lost in thought. She shakes her head before she leans up closer to the table and onto her forearms. "Whatever you do, don't let them back into her lives or my niece or nephew."

"I won't." He promises.

"I'm always gone for work and helping Sarah with her degree…I can't be there for her the way I want. You're her only family now up here."


	27. Outtake 7

"You know proposing on Christmas is kind of cliché," Gemma says as she looks at her son peer at a display of diamonds.

She along with a month old baby had driven Stockton with her son to look potential engagement rings. She, of course, was honored her son would ask her to tag along. Despite her doubts about Noelle, out of protectiveness for Jax, she knows her son is happy with the beautiful blonde. And with Noah here, it seems the stress of a newborn baby has brought the two closer.

She's happy for her son although she thinks it might be too soon. After all, she knows that things hadn't gotten serious until a few months before Noah's birth.

"I never said I was proposing on Christmas," Jax replies as he leans up.

Gemma raises an eyebrow and snorts. "Well that's sweet, hoping to get a Black Friday discount on a ring."

Jax doesn't reply as he pushes the stroller carrying Noah over to another display. Gemma sighs as she follows her son.

She currently feels a myriad of emotions.

On one hand, she could do cartwheels down Main Street at her son seeming to settle down. She has gotten a grandchild sooner than she expected and she couldn't be more grateful. Her son seemed to be thinking long term – more serious. He had a family. He was a man. He was a father. Her son seemed to be hitting the milestones of adulthood all at once.

And that's when the sadness kicks in. Her son wasn't a baby anymore. He was growing. He wasn't just hers. Now he was Noelle's and Noah's. And as a mother she can't help but be possessive of her only living son. She knows her protectiveness got worse because of losing Thomas. She knows she had some faults as she tried to make Jax make up for the love she would lose with Thomas gone.

And it's hard for her to see him branch away from her. It's a weird for her knowing that she isn't the only woman in her son's heart. A part of her wonders if it's normal for a mother to feel such a push and pull.

"Well can you tell me what you are at least looking for?" She asks her son.

"She hates round diamonds. So I was thinking a Princess cut." He tells her.

"Okay, you want something simple or –"

"I want something for her to show off." He finishes for her.

Gemma folds her arms across her chest. If her son has thought thins much about giving Noelle a ring, she knows it's serious. It's not just Noah bonding the two together. If he wanted to Noelle to show off the ring, Jax is making a statement.

"And how much are you willing to spend?" She asks quietly.

Jax throws her a wide smile.

"Jackson…" She says exasperated with him a bit slightly.

"Yeah, Ma?" He replies.

"Why don't we just go to Tiffany's?" She offers as she points to the store across the street.


	28. Outtake 8

He is late and he knows Noelle is going to be pissed. After all, she is volunteering her free time to help him out. He knows none of his flirty comments and easy smiles will work on her. In fact, Noelle seems to be immune to his charms. Usually no girl ever gave him this hard of time. In fact, if a girl wasn't interested Jax would move on. In fact, the only other girl that gave him this much of a chase was Tara.

Jax frowns at the thought of Tara. Her leaving still stung as much as he hates to admit it. Jax is happy that Tara wanted more for herself. He couldn't fault her for that. It was just she wanted to leave Charming forever and she just wanted him to leave his life behind. And it was something he couldn't do. He wouldn't do. There was one thing for her to want to leave. It would suck, but he had been willing to do the long distance. Hell, he even offered to transfer to go Nomad if it would help their relationship. She had been unwilling to make that compromise. It was then he realized the true issue at hand with Tara. And even though he loved Tara, every part of her, it didn't matter because she couldn't love the club.

And it wasn't as if he was looking for another relationship with Noelle after Tara. He loved to ruffle Noelle's feathers and he wasn't going to deny that she was fucking hot. And if the opportunity ever presented itself, he would gladly take it.

But the first order of business is making sure Noelle doesn't take a bite out of his ass for being late. He has noticed that she isn't all too concerned about his outlaw reputation and has no problem putting him in his place.

He enters the public library, which is in need of a serious remodel. He begins the trek to the usual place where Noelle waits for him. It's in a corner, hidden by all the shelves, and secluded. Although he isn't embarrassed about being in the library or being seen with Noelle, he could care less. He was just concerned about Noelle's as her parents were all about class and reputation.

He's thinking of his apology and how he will make up for his lateness by getting her lunch. He's making his way to his corner, but he almost stumbles over his feet as he looks over at the front desk. He spots a very familiar figure leaning against it and hears the familiar chime of laughter. His eyes trail over to who Noelle is talking to and irritation feels his bones.

She's talking to the library aide, Johnny. Like most men, Johnny can't hide his obvious infatuation with Noelle. What's worse is Noelle encourages it. Today, she is not helping with her tight jeans that showcase her tight ass and as she turns to the side slightly, he can see underneath her loose flannel that she is wearing a tight crop top. As he makes his way to the desk, she must have caught sight of him as her head turns towards him and she instantly scowls.

What's worse is that she only flips her hair over her shoulders and turns her attention back to emo Johnny boy.

Johnny, with his black shoulder length hair and beady brown eyes, seems to almost enjoy the blatant dismissal she gave him. However, in the weeks since Noelle has been tutoring him, Jax has gotten to know her quite well. Part of this is all for show.

He struts over to the desk and intentionally crowds Noelle's personal space. Noelle scrunches her nose at him, but he simply smiles as he notices that she has some books laid out in front of her.

"I'll take those off your hands," He says and grabs them. Noelle makes a noise of protest. He wraps an arm around her shoulders. He throws Johnny a smile as he leads them to their corner.

As soon as the shelves cover them, Noelle removes herself from his hold and glares at him. "So what's your excuse this time?"

Jax gives her a small smile. He can't tell her that he had been at Bluebird warehouse assembling weapons. "I'm sorry," he supplies weakly.

Noelle scoffs as she snatches the books from him and walks away from him. She finds refuge in one of the aisles.

Jax sighs as he follows her. "Noe…"

She swirls around. Anger evident in her posture and he admires her more fully in her outfit. She's wearing a white crop top with high-waisted jeans and a red flannel. He finds red to be a good look on her.

" _You_ asked for my help, Jax." She tells him tightly. "I understand you have other commitments, but pick up a phone or something."

"I know, I'm sorry okay." He tells her.

Noelle sighs as she shakes her head as she places the books on the edge of the shelf. "Don't you get tired of saying that? Because your actions speak way more loudly than your words."

Jax runs a hand through his hair as he eyes the pretty blonde before him. From the corner of his eye, he can see that Johnny kid trying to be discreet by watching them. And he knows he is risking a serious slap in the face from Noelle by doing this. But he leans his head down ever so slightly as he risks it and presses his lips against hers. They are soft like he imagined and he is waiting for the push back. Instead, her lips part ever so slightly and she nips his lip gently, which takes him by surprise, as he finds himself pushed back against the opposite shelf.

He pulls back and licks his lips and tastes sugar and peppermint.

"Playing hard to get, huh?" Jax teases.

"Can't make it too easy for you." Noelle replies with a smile.

Jax leans forward and captures Noelle back into the kiss. He can tell Noelle is teasing him as she won't allow him to deepen it. She keeps him right on the edge as her tongue will lick at the seams of his lips and she presses her body into him. His hands tighten on her hips and he is about to trail them up across her exposed stomach and to her chest when they jump startled at the sounds of books hitting the floor.

Looking over they find Johnny flustered as he races to pick up the books. Noelle gives him a small smile while Jax looks him a cocky smug one.

Noelle doesn't seem impressed by his boasting as she pinches him in the side.

"Come on, today's topic is Shakespeare," Noelle says to him as she grabs his hands and grabs the books on the shelf.


	29. Outtake 9

Noah was still trying to understand what it meant that his mommy was having a baby. He doesn't remember when his mommy was pregnant with Addison, but he finds it strange that he and his sister both came from her belly. He can't seem to grasp that they fit in her belly. The most freighting thought is how they even got there!

Noah watches with rapt curiosity as his mother's stomach, where their baby brother is in, moves. It's weird and seems to move like Play Dough. He moves his finger up to poke her belly, but he jumps at the sound of his daddy's voice.

"What you doing down there?" Jax asks him as he stands on the side of the bed leveled with his mother's belly.

Noah looks up at his father sheepishly. His mommy and daddy had already explained that he and Addie needed to be careful around their mommy's belly.

His daddy extends his arms and Noah quickly jumps into them. They leave the bedroom where his mommy is sleeping and his Dad checks on Addie, who is also taking a nap, before they go into the living room and sit on the couch.

"Daddy, where do babies come from?" He asks.

"Well you know from the bellies of their mommies," his dad replies easily.

"Yeah, but _how_?" He demands to know.

"It's something that you'll know when you're older and you fall in love with a girl."

Noah pinches his nose in disgust. "The only girl I will ever love is Mommy." He states proudly.

His daddy chuckles at him. "What about Addie?"

"I love Addie, but not like Mommy."

"And what about me?"

Noah shrugs his shoulders, "I guess I love you too."

Jax begins laughing as he grabs his son and begins to tickle him. However, the laughter comes to an end as Noelle comes walking down the hall clutching her stomach.

…

Noah is seated next on his daddy's lap in the hospital rocking chair. Mommy is with Addie for her own doctor's appointment.

For now, it's just him, daddy, and AJ. It's been two months since his brother was born and it's only been a couple days that they have been allowed to hold him. Noah watches as the nurse comes out holding his little brother. Noah moves his arms as his mommy and daddy had showed him. He smiles wide as the nurse places AJ in his arms. His daddy's arms come around to support his.

"He's so tiny." Noah says as he admires his little brother. He is wrapped tightly in a blanket and has a little button nose. He came out of his mommy. In all honestly, he thinks his brother looks a little weird. "Was I this small?"

"Yeah, you were." His daddy tells him.

Noah looks down and finds his brother's eyes, which looks like his daddy's, staring at him. "Is his heart going to be okay?"

"It should be."

Noah nods his head as he knows his mommy and daddy get sad when they talk about AJ's heart.

Then AJ's lips curl up slightly as he closes his eyes and grunts. Noah wrinkles his nose as a putrid smell assaults them. "Gross. Is that him?" He asks startled and scared.

His daddy laughs.


	30. Outtake 10

**AUTHOR NOTE'S:** This is the last outtake guys! I wanted to thank you all for the response to this story! The response makes it kind of hard to let go of Jax, Noelle, and the kids! And like someone had asked on tumblr, I don't have any plans for a sequel or prequel. As I mentioned on tumblr, this was initially the sequel to what I had initially planned. I had originally planned for this story to start with Jax and Noelle in high school. But for now, I will leave the story as it is.

Thanks again for all the feedback, favorites, and follows!

until then.

* * *

"What's going on with you?" Noelle asks Jax as she burrows into his side. He had been acting weird as the day got darker. And she is confused as to why as the day has been a pleasant surprise.

She didn't think Jax was going to do anything special for Valentine's Day. If anything she thought they would just stay home for the day with Noah.

Instead, she had been surprised to wake up to find that Jax had taken their baby boy to his grandmother's and they day would be spent just between the two of them.

He had taken her out for a fancy breakfast, shopping spree, movies, and some sight-seeing. It was then she was reminded how young they both still were. She was only 19 and Jax is only 21. It was nice just being a couple and as much as she loves her baby boy, it seems she and Jax needed this day to themselves.

Now, they were at the club's cabin, which she noticed had been cleaned immaculately, no doubt to the new Prospect, Juice. She is willing to call it night and she is surprised that they hadn't made it to bed yet. Considering how Jax has spoiled her today, he is going to receive some amazing sex as gratitude. Yet, she is comfortable sitting in front of the fire tucked into Jax. However, she can sense nervousness.

"Nothing," he tells her, which is clearly a lie.

She leans up and eyes him dubiously. "Jax…"

Jax sighs and he turns slightly to face her more and his hand comes and places some of her hair behind her ear. "You know I love you right?"

"Even more than your croweaters," she jests.

"Stop," Jax says with a snort as she finds herself pulled into his lap. Noelle allows herself to be. She finds, surprisingly, that Jax is a very affectionate man. He speaks with his actions more than his words although she knows he can be quite loquacious at times.

"I love you and Noah…so much," he starts. "And I wouldn't change anything that has happened especially with Noah here and you. But I wish we could have gotten a proper start…ya know. For you to know that I love you outside of just having our boy."

Noelle is unsure of where this speech is going as her hands cups his face. "I know that Jax. I love you too."

Jax looks at her uncertain and she swears she thinks a blush is erupting on him as he looks a little red under the collar.

"I also know that this Life…it can be a lot. And I'm glad that I have you to go home to, but I want you to be more than my Old Lady." He says as he grabs his vest that is lying on the armchair.

Noelle's heart begins beating hard against her chest as she thinks she knows what is happening especially as he produces that small velvet box.

Immediately her hands go over her mouth as she tries to contain the tears of happiness and pure shock. And then he opens the box and Noelle swears it's the most beautiful ring she has ever seen.

"Marry me, Noelle?" He asks her.

Noelle's eyes go back and forth from the ring to Jax's eyes in utter disbelief. "Are…are you sure you want that?" She asks him.

He nods his head with a smile. "I love you, Noelle _Teller_."

Noelle nods her head as she accepts the ring and presses a desperate kiss to his lips. They never make it to the bed.


End file.
